Chapter 16
Trevor
It’s somewhat of a shock to arrive at the library Monday morning and find someone other than Isaac sitting at the table we’ve claimed.
For a second, I simply stare, my feet having come to a stop.
Then I hear Isaac approaching from behind me. “Hey, what are you…”
He trails off as I turn around, check that his latte is firmly in his grip, and heft him into my arms. Although clearly surprised, his legs come around my hips immediately, his eyes whipping from my face to the interloper seated behind me.
“Trevor,” he hisses, slapping my shoulder a couple times with the hand not holding his caffeine stable. “Turn back around right this instant.”
“I’m not gonna do that,” I say quietly, rounding the corner past the cassette tapes. I turn down a row of old magazines.
“But there’s someone at our table!” Isaac insists.
“Which is precisely why I’m not bringing you back there. You value your morning calm too much to start the day off with a fight.”
His shoulders drop, blue eyes peering at me with a banked fire. I can see the war there. His stubborn determination to hold on to his ire combined with the allure of simply…letting it go.
“I know a good place,” I assure him. “For just this once.”
“Fine,” he heaves out. “Just…put me down at least. I’m not a damn child.”
I let him drop, amused by the red staining his cheeks, despite his implied dislike for being carried. I have a feeling it’s the public setting he doesn’t appreciate, not the act itself.
“This way,” I tell him, wading deeper into the library.
I find the hall of private rooms on this floor.
Isaac looks at me curiously as I pass three open doors.
We turn another corner, walk past a drinking fountain, and there it is.
Tucked away behind a large, fake plant is a small bench facing a bank of windows.
The sky is still mostly dark, only a tiny hint of orange lighting the buildings on the horizon.
Regardless, it’s a nice secluded spot. One I’ve used many times myself.
Isaac seats himself slowly, his eyes on the windows and what lies beyond.
“Not so bad, huh?” I ask, setting my bag against the wall beside the bench.
He shrugs, even as a smile lifts the corner of his lips. “It’s all right.”
“Mhm. At least give it second place.”
“That I can agree to,” he says, passing me his latte for a moment so he can tug out his things. Once settled, he takes the drink back, the action so small and simple for how light it makes me feel.
I prop my laptop on my thighs, and Isaac leans his shoulder against my arm, one leg drawn up on the bench.
“I mean, the nerve though,” he mutters.
I can’t help my laugh. “Let it go, Red.”
He harrumphs, but then he settles in to work. The soft flipping of pages accompanies the otherwise-quiet hum of the library as I tap away on my keyboard. Neither of us mentions the change between us.
Not simply a new location.
But the fact that we’re sitting pressed against one another. That a mere forty-eight hours ago, I was asleep in Isaac’s bed.
I have no doubt Isaac feels the shift as acutely as me.
I put thoughts of my new favorite redhead aside for the time being and focus on the fake business plan I’m preparing for one of my classes. It feels like no time has passed at all when my alarm goes off.
Isaac startles at my side, repositioning so I can pack up my things. “Will I see you before Wednesday?”
A smile quirks my lips. “You realize all you have to do is ask and I’ll come?”
“Don’t make me ask,” he groans, his freckles bright on his cheeks.
I tug his chin gently, dipping to kiss a path along those freckles as Isaac sighs. When I’m fairly sure I’ve caught them all, I lean back. “What time should I pick you up?”
He looks a little dazed. “When? For what?”
“Dinner,” I answer. “Tonight if you want.”
“Um. Six?”
“It’s a date.”
Isaac pretends to be unaffected as I zip up my backpack and stand, but I can see the happiness radiating gently from his being. The tiny smile at the corner of his mouth. The way his shoulders have relaxed and the softness in his eyes.
One day, soon I hope, Isaac won’t be afraid to show me his emotions. But for now, I accept the compliment for what it is, content in the knowledge Isaac is excited to simply spend time with me.
“See you tonight,” I say again. “And, Red? Be good.”
It takes him a second to understand, and then he’s scowling. “I’m not going to start a fight with the girl at our table.”
“You promise?” I tease, fairly certain he would have had I not intervened.
“Aren’t you going to be late?” Isaac shoots back, waving a hand as if to shoo me along.
I bark a laugh that has Isaac trying his best to hang on to his scowl. “All right. I’m going.”
I’m halfway down the hall when Isaac’s voice stops me. “Hey. ‘What is the hardest task in the world?’”
I turn back around, finishing the quote by Emerson. “‘To think.’”
Isaac curses. “I will stump you one of these days.”
“I look forward to it,” I tell him honestly.
I leave Isaac to finish his studying, my heart beating steadily in a way I find comfort in. I’m not racing. For a few minutes, there’s no hustle.
There’s only the promise of tonight and the memory of heated blue eyes to keep me company.
There’s no inquisition this time when I show up at Isaac’s front door. No shakedown from his friends. The door opens, and Camden waves me inside before disappearing, leaving me to guess whether or not he went to retrieve Isaac.
I wait in the living room for a minute before shooting Isaac a text just to be safe.
He appears soon after, wearing a forest green shirt he looks fantastic in. His voice comes out a little high when he says, “Hey.”
I take in the anxious darting of his eyes and the way his chest is rising and falling in short bursts he appears to be trying to moderate. “Does calling it a date make you nervous?”
He puffs out a breath, shooting me an almost exasperated look. “Do you have to be so perceptive?”
“I promise there’s nothing to be nervous about.”
Isaac grabs a lightweight jacket off a hook near the door, shrugging it on. “You know, telling a person not to be nervous is like telling them to calm down. It doesn’t ever work.”
Isaac’s mouth snaps shut when I spin him gently my way. “Let me try that again,” I say, straightening the collar of his jacket before smoothing my palms up his neck. “Hi, Red. You look good enough to eat.”
His pulse feathers against my thumbs. “I really hate when Todd is right.”
“What’s that?”
“Nothing,” he says quickly. “Keep going.”
My lips twist. “I think you’ll really enjoy where we’re going for dinner. And, if you’d like, I’m happy to make you my dessert.”
He eases out a breath. “You’re pretty smooth, you know that?”
“Just being honest.”
Isaac grabs my hand, squeezing it tightly between his own. “Only with me, right?”
I understand what he’s saying. “There’s only you,” I agree.
He nods. “Yeah, okay. Let’s go.”
The bookstore isn’t terribly far away. Isaac looks from the front of the store to me hopefully as I park.
I make him sweat for only a second or two before nodding. “There’s a café inside.”
Isaac exits the vehicle with a sort of enthusiasm I haven’t seen from him before. He looks almost chagrined as he slows his pace so I can catch up, but I offer him a wide smile, not wanting him to feel the need to dampen his excitement.
His head is on a swivel as we step through the doors. There’s a table of bestsellers set up right in front of us, but beyond that is rows and rows of books, separated by genre. Isaac takes a deep breath, as if soaking it all in.
“Your natural habitat,” I murmur.
Isaac swats my chest. “You’re one to talk. Tell me this isn’t the best thing ever?”
I shrug because I can’t. “Food first?”
Isaac stares longingly at the books for another moment before nodding. “Probably a good idea.”
The café isn’t terribly busy. We order our food, waiting for it to be ready before finding a seat at a small table beside windows that overlook the store. Isaac unwraps his sandwich as I do the same.
“Um, I didn’t say it before,” he begins, “but you look great, too.”
“Yeah? Better than the books?”
“Don’t push it,” he deadpans.
I snort, which has Isaac grinning to himself. “What have you got going on this week?”
“The usual,” he answers. “School. Studying. Seeing you?”
“My free time is yours,” I confirm.
He takes a big bite of his sandwich to hide his blush. “What, uh, nights do you work at the bar?”
“Friday and Saturday. The rest of the week, I’m at the tattoo shop. Or, you know, making videos.”
Isaac cocks his head. “Wait, you work at the tattoo shop, too?”
“Just clean-up after hours. It’s a short shift, but it’s enough to help with the weekly groceries.”
He’s quiet for a moment. “You’re really busy, aren’t you?”
“Not too busy for you.”
“No, that’s not what I mean. I just… I’m suddenly feeling very young.
Here I was, thinking about how I’m a year ahead of Todd and Lumi.
They’re both graduating this year, and then what?
They’ll be moving on while I’m still getting my doctorate.
But you’re already ahead of all of us. You’re working three jobs on top of planning your own business, and what am I doing? ”
“You’re preparing for your future,” I answer evenly. “Working hard as a student so you can have the career you want.”
“I don’t even have a job, though.”
“That’s fine. Not everyone needs one.”
“That doesn’t make you resentful?” he asks.
“No.”
He looks dubious, so I go on.
“Why would I resent you for having money, Isaac? It’s not the marker of a person.”
“It’s not even my money,” he says quietly. “It’s my parents’.”
“And? Did you steal it from them or did they offer it freely?”
He huffs. “Of course I didn’t steal it.”
“So why does it matter?”
“Because money…matters,” he says, even as his brow furrows.
I knock the toe of Isaac’s shoe with my own. “Says the man pursuing an English degree, which we both know has nothing to do with money.”
He sets down the last piece of his sandwich, exhaling a heavy breath. “It matters to a lot of people, Trevor.”
Ah. “Your father?”
“Not only him,” Isaac shoots back. “You said yourself it’s your biggest hurdle to starting a studio.”
“I also said I don’t need money to be happy.”
Isaac looks off through the windows into the bookstore, a tense set to his jaw. “Never mind. Let’s just…drop it.”
I think there’s something about this topic that’s a sore spot for Isaac, but I don’t push him on it here. Instead, I rewind back to another point he mentioned. “Are you worried about Todd and Lumi leaving after graduation?”
His shoulders slump.
“Sorry,” I say quickly. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.”
Isaac scrubs a hand over his face before glancing down at his last bite of sandwich. “I don’t know. Todd’s not sure yet what he’s doing. And Lumi will likely go wherever the job opportunities are.”
“What’s her degree?”
“Performing arts,” he says. At my raised eyebrow, he elaborates. “She loves theater. Being on Broadway is her dream.”
I imagine the five-foot-nothing unyielding force that is Lumi and smile. “Oh, they better watch out.”
Isaac barks a laugh, looking momentarily so weightless that my own chest lightens. The strain returns after a moment, subtle at the corners of his eyes. He finishes his sandwich in silence.
“Do you think…” I say cautiously, “that distance would change your friendship?”
Isaac takes a moment to answer. “I think I’m not particularly easy to get along with. But Todd and Lumi have never acted like I’m a burden to be around. I’m afraid, when they go, I’ll feel just as alone as I did before I found them.”
Isaac doesn’t pull away when I cover his hand with my own. “You realize I won’t ever let you feel alone.”
“You can’t know,” he says, voice hoarse.
“Red. Four months won’t be nearly long enough with you. I’ll be here at graduation. And after. Maybe I can’t know, but I believe it. You’re not a burden. Not to your friends. Not to the people that love you. Not to me.”
He doesn’t say anything, his eyes on the table between us.
I give his hand a squeeze. “Can I let you in on a secret?”
“You’re a porn star?”
I chuckle, despite the ache in my chest. “Not a star.”
“Not yet, maybe. You will be.”
I hum, not letting Isaac’s attempt at avoidance deter me.
“I’m a little bit obsessed with you, Isaac Newport.
The way you see yourself? I won’t tell you you’re wrong.
But I will tell you where you see a combative attitude, I see a fierce sense of spirit.
What you think is a burden is a gift in the right hands.
You’re strong and passionate and painfully beautiful.
And when your eyes are on me, I feel like just maybe you see something worth hanging on to, as well. ”
Isaac pulls in a shuddering breath. “You’re potent. I’m not sure I stand a chance against your mouth.”
My lips curl, and Isaac shoots me a hard look.
“Don’t say it. I meant your words, you smug bastard. Ugh. Stop smiling like that.”
“Can’t,” I inform him. “Too busy thinking about what you looked like under my lips.”
“Jesus Christ,” he hisses, glancing around quickly. No one is paying us any mind. “You are dangerously close to making me either cry or pop a boner at a bookstore. And neither is allowed.”
“I don’t know. I think both are acceptable responses to reading.”
Isaac blinks up at the ceiling several times, biting his lip as if muffling a laugh. I let his hand go when he gives a little tug, fairly sure at this point we’re back on safe ground. Not that I mind in the least being granted a glimpse into Isaac’s internal emotional state.
Like him, it’s a gift.
Isaac busies himself with balling up his trash before he finally meets my eye. “Thank you,” he says simply. “And sorry I got all…”
“Human?” I supply. “Pretty sure it’s unavoidable.”
“Yeah, well, I’d rather not dump my feelings all over you while we’re on a date. It’s not exactly sexy.”
When I don’t say a word, trying to figure out how to argue that Isaac’s transparency is, in fact, quite sexy, he rolls his eyes.
“Oh my God, stop looking at me like that. Come on. Books.”
“Ooh, talk dirty to me, baby.”
Isaac’s laugh has my grin stretching from ear to ear.
By my estimation, this date couldn’t be going better.