Chapter Thirty-three
Brynn
When my eyes open, the hotel room is dark. The only light streaming in is from the street and the opera house across the way.
I’m completely naked, but I don’t have even a twinge of shyness when I feel Killian’s big hand come around and cup my breast as his lips brush my back. My body is his domain now, and he can do anything he wants to it.
I smile softly, feeling utterly at peace. “Good morning.”
He chuckles. “Good evening. You need to get up.”
“I can’t. I live in this bed now. Can you fill out the change of address forms for me?”
“Can I take this to mean you won’t fight me about staying with me now?”
“I couldn’t resist the chance to spend every night in your bed if I tried,” I answer honestly.
“Damn,” he murmurs, not bothering to hide his smugness. “I guess I fucked you good today, didn’t I?”
I know he’s teasing so I smile, but I also know that in some ways I feel like a different person than I was when I woke up this morning, so… yes, he most certainly did.
It’s not just the sex, though.
This whole trip is just…
You have to love someone to do something like this for them.
And I know all the reasons I shouldn’t, but to hell with them.
I’ll love him back.
And making that decision, giving up that fight, letting him all the way in…
It feels freeing.
He rolls me over onto my back and comes down on top of me, stealing a lazy kiss, then murmuring against my mouth, “We need to get up. We have to shower and get dressed. We already missed our dinner reservation.”
I smirk. “I had you for dinner.”
“You sure did,” he says, amused, as he slides his fingers through my hair. “But I made after dinner plans for us, too, and I don’t want to miss those.”
“But sleep.”
“We can sleep after,” he promises, grabbing my hands and tugging.
I let him drag me out of bed, but I’m not happy about it.
He assures me I’ll regret it if we miss our evening plans, but I don’t think I would regret anything if the option I chose instead was staying curled up in bed with Killian.
We shower together, and Killian washes my hair.
We lose track of time holding each other under the spray.
We have to rush to get dressed and ready, but luckily, we don’t have far to go.
He bought us tickets for tonight’s show at the opera house.
I feel like a girl living her dream when I walk in on his arm, and I guess that’s because I am.
I’ve always loved this opera house, but I love it now for different reasons. Not as the lost, lonely girl who had no place in the world and escaped into a fantastical story where she was everything to the man who loved her.
For the first time, I feel loved and tremendously valued in my real life.
He’s given me a lot of memories on this trip, but none can beat that one.
We kiss in front of the Grand Staircase, and Killian makes use of his French to ask someone to take a picture for us.
“I’m gonna frame that one,” I tell him with an easy smile, leaning over his shoulder to look at it.
“I’ve got one I’d like to frame, too,” he says, his suggestive smirk letting me know exactly what picture he’s talking about.
I blush at the memory, and Killian laughs, then he grabs my waist and leads me to the box where he bought us seats for tonight’s show.
When the show is over, we walk back to the hotel. He kisses me in the elevator, tangling his fingers in my hair and tugging my head back so he can kiss my throat.
He unzips my beautiful dress in the hallway on the way to the room, and it’s on the floor beside the bed a moment later.
I unclasp my bra and step out of my panties before I climb on the bed, then I turn to face him, still standing beside it.
I kneel there completely naked while Killian undoes his belt and tosses it on the floor. I want him naked faster, so I help unbutton his snowy white button-down as he undoes his pants.
He unbuttons them and rips open his shirt, but he was so dressed up, the process is taking too long, and he grows impatient.
“Back on the bed,” he commands, and I quickly obey. “Good girl,” he murmurs appreciatively, then he grabs me and tugs me closer to the edge, spreading my legs and kneeling on the ground in front of me.
I let my head fall back and my eyes drift closed the moment his perfect mouth touches my pussy. He kisses it like he would my mouth, and I feel arousal leak out at the tenderness of it.
It reminds me of earlier when his cum leaked out of me. When he took my picture. And thinking about all that turns me on, so I start touching my breasts.
“Christ, Brynn.” He spreads my pussy open and teases me with his tongue, sliding a hand up my bare torso so he can grab a tit. I moan as he squeezes it greedily, then teases my beaded nipple while he feasts on me.
My legs are trembling in no time at all.
He makes me come, and only then does he take the time to finish undressing.
I’m a puddle of happiness when he joins me on the bed. He locks his arm around me, yanking me close, then rolling me under him. I smile up at him, tangling my fingers in his hair.
The words almost slip out, but I don’t let them.
Just in case he doesn’t know he loves me yet. I don’t want to be the first one to say it.
He’s so handsome in the moonlight. He’s handsome in any light, but I want to remember this moment forever.
His mouth claims mine, greedy and aggressive, then he spreads my thighs, making room for himself between them.
I know I should make him use a condom, but he doesn’t. He hasn’t all day long.
I savor the sensation of him pushing into me bare, then his mouth is on my jaw and he’s leaving kisses rough enough to bruise everywhere he can reach.
This time, after he fills me with his cum, he doesn’t leave me. He stays between my legs, his cock still in my body, the bulk of his weight on top of me.
I love it.
I’ve lost track of how many orgasms I’ve had today, so my body is completely relaxed. I enjoy having his head resting against my breast and absently run my fingers through his dark hair.
“You make it so fucking hard to leave you,” he rumbles.
I crack a smile. “You don’t have to. I like having you inside me.” Seeing an opportunity—or I guess the duty, because I’m not thrilled about it either—to bring it up, I gently tug on his hair to pull his head back and urge him to look up at me. “We do need to go back to using condoms, though. I can get on birth control, but I’m not on any right now, and I don’t think either of us wants an accidental pregnancy to deal with.”
“No?” he asks, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
I have no capacity for severity right now, but I roll my eyes playfully, a smile still tugging at my lips. “No. I’m a sophomore in college. It’s most assuredly not an optimal time for me to get pregnant.”
“I’m a senior. Timing seems a little more optimal to me.”
I shake my head, taking it as a joke anyway because what he’s saying is crazy, and obviously he doesn’t really want to have a baby with me.
Not now, at least.
“Should we name the baby something French since we know it was conceived here?” he asks casually.
My eyes widen. “That’s not funny.”
He smirks up at me. “It wasn’t meant to be. Paris is probably too on the nose, but we’ll think of something.”
“No. We are not naming our fictional baby. And we need to stop talking about it. I don’t want to keep putting this out into the universe.”
“Might not be the worst thing.”
He really is crazy. I guess I realized that when he burned down a frat house, but he’s certainly reminding me right now.
Unfortunately—or fortunately?—I’ve already decided I love him, so I don’t care.
“Why would you want to get me pregnant anyway?” I ask idly, resuming playing with his hair.
He shrugs. “It’s something permanent. Something between us that couldn’t be undone.”
He sounds serious. “I mean, it can be,” I point out gently.
He shakes his head. “No. Whether you kept it or not, it would be a thing that happened. A part of me that lived in you for a while.”
My brow furrows, and I caress the back of his head. He sounds almost… sad.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
He nods, looking up at me. The seriousness in his expression clears, and his mouth tugs up just a bit. “Of course. Never been better.”
___
I never want to leave Paris, but when I wake up again and the sun is streaming through the window, I know it’s about that time.
Killian and I shower together and get dressed, then we head out for a quick bite at a street café before we have to check out.
Dare and Aubrey are having lunch inside the Eiffel Tower before we leave, but we can’t go with them. Check-out at our hotel is at noon, and we’ll have Toast with us when we leave.
We know they won’t be hungry for a while, though, so Killian grabs takeout from a nearby restaurant and we eat on a bench with a view of the Eiffel Tower instead. Thankfully, it’s warmer and sunnier today than it was yesterday, so it’s still a good time.
After we eat, we take pictures in front of the Eiffel Tower. I even get a few with Toast to commemorate what I’m sure will be her only trip to Paris.
When we finish eating, we enjoy a last stroll, roaming the romantic Parisian streets hand-in-hand.
Finally, we load into a car and head for the airport.
We beat Dare and Aubrey this time, so we’re the first to board.
We know our internal clock will be a bit fucked today, but since there’s no way we can sleep on the plane ride this time, Killian says we should download a movie. Then, smirking, he types in Phantom of the Opera and downloads it, but I’m not complaining.
Our travel companions arrive a short time later, and finally, it’s time to head home.
Knowing we’re going back to reality reminds me of all my adult responsibilities. I haven’t touched my schoolbooks since our last plane ride, so I dig them out and log some study time.
Since I do want to watch the movie with Killian, I take a break a few hours later. Nobody’s hungry enough for dinner, but we’re feeling snacky, so the flight attendant makes us a fruit tray and another with vegetables. Aubrey opens some Skinny Pop, and the flight attendant brings around drinks, then we’re ready to watch the movie.
It’s not some small back of the chair screen on this plane, either. Nope. It’s a whole-ass TV, and since we even have couches to spread out on, it feels just like watching a movie at home.
When we land, I expect Killian’s car to be waiting for us at the airport, but apparently he had one of his friends come pick it up and take it home. An Escalade that looks eerily like the one I was put in when I was kidnapped pulls up, and we all climb in.
We drop Dare and Aubrey off at their townhouse first, then we head for Killian’s place.
It feels like we were gone much longer than we were, but maybe it’s the traveling between time differences playing tricks on me.
Or maybe it’s just because everything has changed.
We get back early enough that I could technically work my second job if I had a ride. I think about calling to make sure they got my shift covered, but then I think about all the boxes I have at Killian’s apartment and how nice it would be to have the evening to just relax after the trip, maybe unpack a few essentials, and go to bed early…
Relaxing wins.
When the car lets us out at Killian’s apartment building, I feel a pinch of remembered anxiety. When I’m standing in the hallway waiting for him to open the door, I remember mere nights ago when I saw Hex and the other guys out in the hall.
Toast is ready to be out of her travel bag, so I unzip her and set her free. Killian takes her bed back over and puts it down where it usually is in his living room, and then we unpack from the trip.
He brought more clothes than I ended up needing since he bought me new stuff in Paris, so I take it to the little section in his closet he cleared for my things.
When I’m in there hanging my clothes up, I notice something I didn’t before I left.
My clutch. The one I took to Kyle’s party.
I bend down and pick it up, frowning as I open it up. The crinkled twenty-dollar bill I tucked away in case I needed to call an emergency cab is there, along with my favorite lip gloss.
My keys aren’t in it, though.
I feel Killian behind me, so I turn and find him standing in the doorway. His gaze drops to the bag, then meets mine.
“I didn’t know you brought this back.”
“Yeah, well… I didn’t really get a chance to tell you.”
I nod, but just barely. I still don’t like what he did, and knowing it isn’t even an isolated incident, that there’s a pretty good likelihood he’ll do something to hurt someone again if the Blue Bloods tell him to…
Swallowing, I look up at him. “Does stuff like this happen… often?”
He smirks faintly, crossing his arms and leaning in the doorway. “No. You caught us in a particularly busy season.”
“How does it work?” I ask softly.
He doesn’t answer me immediately. He’s quiet for long enough that I think he might not, and if he doesn’t, I know I have to be okay with that, but it still feels weird.
Finally, though, he does speak.
“When one of us has a problem, our brothers help us out with it. Whatever that means. It isn’t always bloody. It could be something as above-board as Silvan hooking me up with that investment opportunity so I could generate some money of my own when he knew I wasn’t financially solid like the rest of them were. The scope of the work is limitless. It could be anything.”
“Is it just while you’re in college?”
“No.”
I nod soberly, dropping my bag back on the ground.
“This weekend was just a taste, though,” he says.
I look back up at him.
“You can do anything once you’re hooked up with these guys. Get anything done. The network available to you… it’s unparalleled.”
“I understand the appeal,” I say softly.
“The way I see it, in this world, there are two options. You can be a king, or you can be a pawn. I want to be the one who can get shit done, take care of what’s mine, build a fucking empire. I don’t have a problem with getting my hands dirty if that’s what it takes.”
He says the last part firmly, so I know where he stands.
I swallow. “So, you can’t guarantee nothing like that will happen again.”
“No.”
“Even if innocent people could get hurt.”
He sighs, but I can tell it’s just frustration that we’re not going to agree on this. “I’m not a fucking hero, Brynn. I know you want me to be, but I’m not. I’m not some sick fuck, either. I don’t have a desire to hurt anyone, but I’ll do what has to be done to accomplish my goals and protect what’s mine. I make no apologies for that.”
“I wasn’t yours when Kyle… messed with me,” I point out.
“No, you weren’t. But you are now. My protection is retroactive.”
The reality still makes me a little sad, but it doesn’t change my feelings for him. It doesn’t make me want to leave this time.
I walk over to him, sliding my hand along his muscular chest and over his powerful shoulders, then winding my arms around his neck. “We should get ready for bed,” I say softly.
“Yeah?”
I nod.
He tips my chin up, sliding his hand along my jaw and bringing me in for a kiss. “You’re not gonna run off on me again, are you?” he murmurs.
“No. I’m sorry I did before, it was just… a lot.”
“I understand.”
I know he has abandonment issues from the talk we had just before everything went to hell, and that makes me feel even worse about it.
Whatever his flaws, my favorite thing about Killian is how honest he is with me, and I can’t imagine how I would have felt if I opened up my biggest fears to someone and they left me almost immediately.
I feel like making it up to him, so I lean up to kiss him, and as I do, I reach my hand down and unbutton his pants.
All it takes is the touch of my hand, and I feel him start to harden.
I smile against his lips.
“I thought you wanted to get ready for bed,” Killian teases.
I pull back long enough to give him a mischievous smile. “Well… maybe a little snack first.”