Chapter Thirty-four
Brynn
It feels right to wake up in Killian’s bed again.
I look over at him, and he looks so handsome I want to give him a kiss. But he’s sleeping, and I don’t want to wake him up, either. At least one of us should get some sleep.
Our travel this weekend was obviously great, but it messed me up and now my body doesn’t know if it’s supposed to be on Boston or Paris time.
I thought the hours we spent making love would wear us both out enough to sleep through the night, but it’s still dark outside, and here I am.
I grab my phone to see what time it is.
There are notifications, a couple of comments on the pictures I posted earlier, but the notification that grabs my attention is the text from my mother.
“You’re in Paris??”
I sigh, going back to my message chain and deleting hers, then going to my social media account to see if I can figure out how she’s seeing my updates. I blocked her a long time ago, but she has been known to make fake accounts to spy on people, so maybe there’s one I missed.
Before the plane took off, when we were waiting for Dare and Aubrey to get there, I made a post. The main picture is one Killian took of me on the balcony at the Palais Garnier, then I posted the one he sent me of both of us with me kissing his cheek, and finally, one of us with Toast in front of the Eiffel Tower. I captioned it, “From Paris, with love.”
Several people heart reacted to it, and Addison commented, “And Ryan just bought me chicken wings. 0/10” I crack a smile and heart her comment.
A few seconds later, she DMs me. “What are you doing up?”
“Jetlag,” I type back with an emoji that looks like it’s suffering.
“Ugh. To have your problems,” she jokes.
“Why are you awake?” I ask her.
“Moral and ethical qualms. Dreading a quiz tomorrow, but lying here on my phone instead of getting up and studying for it.”
“Making good decisions, then.”
“Exactly. You should swing by the house later so you can get your stuff back. Unless you’re moving in with me, of course, then I’ll just keep it here.”
I smile faintly. “I wish we could be roomies. I think I’m gonna stay with Killian though. Things were iffy before, but I think we figured it out this weekend.”
“He asked you to move in with him?”
“Well, no. But he doesn’t really ask, he just kind of adjusts my life as he believes he needs to. And the vibe I’m getting is that he wants me to move in with him.”
“I see. Well… maybe talk about it before you make a decision. Having a reliable place to live is kind of important.”
“I’m not a Zeta anyway,” I remind her.
“You could be,” she answers.
“If Sloane doesn’t even like me, I don’t see her making an exception to let me in.”
And after that auction, I can definitely agree with Ryan that she doesn’t like me.
“She already told me to put a feeler out and see if you wanted to join. I know you don’t know her, but Sloane’s very self-protective and she’s never going to put herself out there if she’s not sure the answer is yes. But if you want the spot, it’s yours. And I have extra wallpaper we could use to decorate your vision board, I’m JUST saying.”
“What are you smiling at over there?”
My stomach jumps at hearing Killian’s sleepy voice when I thought he was still asleep. “I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”
He comes across the bed, snatching my phone before I realize what’s happening.
“Hey!”
He scowls at the screen sleepily, then sighs with annoyance when he reads enough of the text to get the idea. “Goddamn Zetas.”
I lunge for my phone. “Give that back.”
He holds it just out of reach and locks his arm around my waist, pulling me back to his side. Then, rolling over so his back is to me like a fortress wall, he says aloud as he types, “Sorry Addison, gotta go fuck Killian now. Goodnight.”
“Oh my god, you better not be typing that,” I say, making more of an effort to get around him and get my phone back.
“And send,” he says, before reaching over and putting my phone on his bedside table.
I climb on top of him to reach for it, but he rolls me onto my back and climbs on top of me before I make contact. “I’m going to kill you,” I tell him.
“Empty threat. You could never kill anyone.” He grabs my hands and raises them over my head, pinning them down with his iron grip and leaning in to kiss my neck.
We’re both naked, and it doesn’t take much to make my body want him right now, but my desire is mildly diluted by the mortification of him sending that message to Addison. Pushing uselessly against my manacles, I say, “Just let me grab the phone really fast. Maybe she didn’t read it yet and I can delete it.”
“Keep fighting me and I’ll send her a play-by-play.”
I sigh. “Why are you like this?”
“You mean wonderful?”
I laugh, caught off guard by his quip.
He smirks, nipping at my jaw, then dipping his head and kissing my tits. I see my phone light up on his nightstand, and I know that means Addison has definitely seen—and responded to—the message.
Knowing it’s too late to do anything about it frees me of the worry, though. I guess she knows Killian well enough to know that was almost certainly him and not me. I would never be so crass.
Now that he doesn’t have to worry about me getting away, he lets go of my arms. His hands slide down my sides, leaving goosebumps in their wake, until they reach my hips. His right hand slides down between my thighs, and I sigh with pleasure as he rubs his finger along my slit.
He doesn’t have to get me ready since I’ve already taken his cock once tonight, but he spreads me open and teases my clit a bit anyway. Sigh after pleasurable sigh slips out of me until he pulls out suddenly, grabbing his cock.
Since we’re home, I thought maybe he’d grab a condom this time, but he didn’t last time, and he doesn’t now either.
“Wait, Killian.” I press my hands against his chest. “I told you we need to use protection until I can get on birth control.”
He ignores me, pushing the head of his cock into me. “And I told you no.”
I scowl up at him. “You don’t get to unilaterally make this decision.”
“Wanna bet?” he asks, pushing deeper.
I grab the bedsheets, my body tensing ever so slightly as my pussy stretches to accommodate him. “You know, this bossiness is going to be a lot less cute when you’re pulling diaper duty.”
“I’ve killed men, songbird. I’m not afraid of baby diapers.”
That is an alarming thing for a man to say when he’s inside you.
He must not want to argue with me anymore while he’s fucking me, because rather than let me keep talking, he starts playing with my tits so I lose my capacity for speech.
Smart.
And effective.
Once he knows I’ve submitted to doing things his way for tonight, he rolls me over on my stomach, repositioning himself between my thighs and then easing me down on his cock. I hold my pillow while he fucks me, and he takes advantage of my orgasm to drive deep and pump me full of his cum.
I melt against the bed, and he comes down on top of me.
After a moment, he rolls off to the side so he’s not crushing me anymore, but I like when he crushes me.
His strong arm snakes under me and he tugs me back against him. I wiggle a little until I’ve reached optimal comfort in his arms, then I close my eyes.
I’m just about to drift off when he yanks me from the precipice of sleep with a grumbled, “I don’t want you to hang out with the Zetas.”
That wakes me right up.
I don’t mind Killian bossing me around about some things, I even like it to an extent, but I have noticed his bossiness increasing as we get closer, and telling me who I’m allowed to be friends with isn’t going on the cute list.
“Well, I don’t want you hanging out with the Blue Bloods,” I tell him. “So, you listen to my advice, and I’ll listen to yours.”
“It’s not the same thing,” he says.
“You’re right. The Zetas aren’t psychopaths and killers.”
He’s annoyed, but it takes him a minute to formulate a response. “Not necessarily, but they’re no angels, either. And there are certain Zetas that I can’t easily protect you from,” he says, the words seeming to hurt on their way out, “so I’d prefer to keep you out of their path.”
I frown. “I don’t think I need protecting from sorority girls, Killian.”
“Can you just trust me on this? If you like Addison and you want to be friends with her, fine, but do it away from the Zeta house, please. Bring her here or meet her somewhere on campus. Meet her at a coffee shop, I don’t care, but… follow Aubrey’s example on this and don’t get pulled into their bullshit.”
Since I can tell his objections are rooted in genuine feelings of concern, I ease up a little. “Before the auction, Addison and I were talking to Ryan and that Vanessa girl came over. Addison said she was a legacy, and her parents met in college.”
“Yeah. Her dad’s a Blue Blood. Like a lot of girls raised by Blue Bloods, she wants to marry one. It can go the other way. After being raised by a Blue Blood, some girls would rather die than date one. All depends on the girl’s personality, the example her father set, whatever. But in Vanessa’s case, she came to Calhoun set on two things: being a Zeta and marrying a Blue Blood. The Zeta part was easy. Her mom was one, so she was a legacy. That’s pretty much a guarantee. It’s not the same for us. If a Blue Blood has a son and he wants him to be a Blue Blood, we certainly take that into account, but if the guy’s a fuck-up, we’re not going to pollute the group for everyone else by taking him. Legacy status does not guarantee entry, and they know that. It has to be that way, or the group would get watered down a couple of generations in—especially these days. The world is different than when Vanessa’s dad walked these halls. And girls who come here looking to marry a Blue Blood, they’ve been bred for us. They appreciate the unique qualities we possess, our willingness to do what needs doing. Your Zeta girlfriend whose dad is a Blue Blood grew up with a ruthless man in her life. You kill a guy for her, she’s not going to get upset and flip out about it, she’ll rub your shoulders and give you a kiss wherever you want one to express her appreciation. They may not be psychopaths and killers, but they’re raised to be very good girls who are very comfortable being in the proximity of psychopaths and killers.”
“Oh,” I murmur. “Well, they didn’t mention that during rush.”
“I bet,” he says lightly. “Vanessa’s a freshman, so in her case, her dad let us all know she was coming and she was interested in marrying a Blue Blood, but, unfortunately, none of us wanted her. Then we tapped Dare, so we had new blood and she thought, okay, maybe this one is the one for me. But he came with his girlfriend from high school. We let him know, if he wasn’t that attached to Aubrey and he was open to other options, there is a Blue Blood marriage on the table, and those come with perks. It tends to be a dowry situation, and you’re marrying into an established Blue Blood family so… it’s just very advantageous, especially if you’re marrying a more traditional Blue Blood who only had daughters, or who had a son but… he passed before he could take over. That’s like inheriting a kingdom. Obviously, Dare wasn’t interested either, but he was the one she pinned all her hopes on after the rest of us passed, so… she couldn’t let go, I guess. Maybe next year when they tap someone else, she’ll lay off Dare and set her sight on one of them for a husband, or she could marry an older Blue Blood who has already graduated. But there’s always the chance she just doesn’t get what she wants. Not everyone gets picked. The trouble is, because these girls are raised by ruthless fathers and that kind of thing is more normalized to them, they tend to be a different breed. They’re more tolerant of ruthless acts, and therefore it’s not off the table they’ll perform some themselves if they must in order to snag the Blue Blood husband they’re after. It’s a long-term investment; if she snags him, he’ll be doing the dirty work for her for the rest of their lives. There have been instances where there isn’t a Blue Blood husband available, or the particular husband a girl wants is with someone else, so the girl decides to… free him up.”
“Free him up?”
“Using whatever means necessary.”
I swallow. “That sounds potentially… sketchy.”
“It’s potentially very sketchy. Especially if Daddy’s little princess is used to getting what she wants, and he’s willing to help her get it. Then your normie girlfriend is kind of fucked, because the number one rule is Blue Bloods can’t go against each other.”
“But wouldn’t it be kind of an attack on a Blue Blood if you killed his girlfriend?”
“Yeah, but if she’s just his girlfriend, there are ways around it. Guy could claim he didn’t know it was that serious. He’d have to make reparations, but you can’t make someone undead, so… if you were serious about her and you wanted to make sure she was safe, you should have married her.”
“Wow. That is ruthless.”
“Yeah. We’re all aware of the threat with Vanessa, so it’s unlikely Aubrey is in any real danger. We keep an ear to the ground to make sure she doesn’t get any ideas, and if she did, we’d do what we could to keep Aubrey safe because Dare is one of us and that’s what he wants, but the fact that we need to do that should be evidence enough for you that your little Zeta friends aren’t all as innocent as you think they are.”
I look back at him. “Is Addison’s dad a Blue Blood?”
He shakes his head. “No. Addison’s dad has connections to the mafia, though, so that’s similar. She might be more desensitized to situational violence and dynamics the outside world would view as extremely dysfunctional, but I’m not sure. I never looked that far into her. My hunch is she’d have no problem hanging with a Blue Blood, I just don’t think she wants to.”
“Not unless Ryan Gosling is a Blue Blood,” I joke.
Killian smirks. “Yeah, he’s not.”
“I like Ryan Gosling. He makes good movies. We should have Addison and Ryan over to watch one soon. Have you seen Crazy Stupid Love?”
“I have not.”
I nod. “That’s the one, then. Let’s set it up.”
He tightens his arm around me to pull me closer. “We can do that. Maybe make it a double feature. I liked The Place Beyond the Pines. Have you seen that one?”
“I haven’t, and I’m so down. I love this idea.”
“Good,” he murmurs. “I have some Blue Blood business to take care of tomorrow, so I’ll be at the Zeta house anyway. I can grab your things from Addison while I’m there.”
“And invite her to Double Ryan night?”
He smirks. “And invite her to Double Ryan night.”
“Okay,” I agree. We fall quiet for a peaceful moment, but with everything he said racing through my mind, there’s one thing in particular my brain hyperfocused on, and I want to address it. “Hey, Killian?”
“Yeah?”
I swallow. “Would you rather have a more Blue Blood friendly girlfriend? Some Zeta who… you know, was bred for it, who approves of everything you do and gives you celebratory shoulder rubs when you…?”
“No,” he says seriously, then he grabs my jaw and turns it so he can steal a kiss. “I’d rather have you.”