Chapter 5
“What is that supposed to mean?” I whisper. I don’t want to sound so damned scared, but I can’t help it.
I flinch when Alek moves. He probably broke a bone in his hand with that little move. I make a loud noise of protest to try to stop him from doing it again. Punching things isn’t going to help anything in this situation. It’s certainly not going to stop the news from being true.
It’s not like I’m not familiar with men and their temper tantrums but I wasn’t expecting such a big reaction from the man in front of me. I guess I thought that it would give him hope to get through this, or something, knowing that he was going to have a little niece or nephew. I really had thought that it would be good for him to know… but now he’s acting like a whole other person.
“Alek?” I ask again as he presses his forehead into the cool concrete of the wall. “Alek you’re scaring me…”
That seems to cut through to him. I subtly scoot just far enough away from his range of motion. Just in case. Maybe Nikolai is right - maybe he is violent and unpredictable. Would he truly hurt me if I said something that he doesn’t like?
My gut says no.
But my gut’s been wrong before.
“It means that he has marked a pattern twice.” Alek says in a cold tone that sends shivers down my spine.
“Explain it to me maybe, because I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Alek scoffs. There is no warmth or kindness left on his face as he slides back down the wall to where he was sitting a moment ago.
I miss the teasing smile more than I thought that I would.
I exhale slowly. I didn’t know that I was holding my breath. Guess my gut is right this time. He’s not going to hurt me. I’m being paranoid. Something that I never used to have a problem with. I wince at how torn up the skin of his back has to be from just that small movement alone.
“First Lilian… and now Helena…” Alek says as an answer. Not that it makes anything sound any clearer. I’m no closer to understanding his meaning than I was before.
“I don’t see how it’s a pattern if you mean because he tried to kill them…” I ask again.
Alek’s eyes lift to mine, a horror deep in his gaze that unsettles me. What does he know that I don’t? The pain on his face alone says that maybe… Nikolai is keeping even more from me than I suspected. How deep does this deception go? Can I trust Alek’s word?
What choice do I have?
“...you don’t know what happened to Lilian and her child… do you?” Alek whispers. The words shudder through the implications and worst-case scenarios run rampant. Did she actually have her child? My husband is a lot of things but he would never hurt a kid. Would he?
Dread turns into something terrifying in my gut as I realize that I’m not entirely certain I know the answer to that question anymore.
“I know that he tried to kill Helena… she killed his father.” I stammer.
Alek’s lip lifts into a cruel smirk. He almost looks proud of his sister for what she did.
Nikolai almost never speaks about his father. When he does, he makes it very clear that the man only ever taught Nikolai how to be cruel and to run the empire that was left for him. I don’t think that the world is worse off for having been rid of him in the first place.
“You don’t know what happened to her child.” He says again to confirm that I know nothing.
I hate that I don’t know. I don’t need him rubbing my face in it. Clearly Nikolai doesn’t tell me shit. He doesn’t exactly seem like he’s planning on being forthcoming either.
“So what if I don’t?!” I snap and roll back onto my feet. Anxious energy builds inside of me and starts me pacing over the small cell because I can’t do anything else. “And besides, don’t you mean your baby?!”
Something darkens in Alek’s expression as he lifts to his feet, and I refuse to cower as he crosses the cell to get as close to me as he can get. Even with the chains holding his wrists far behind him, the closest that he can get is about an inch from the tip of my nose. He’s stuck, and I won’t deny that it gives me a small power trip as he sneers at me.
“Watch your tongue.” He sneers right back.
I won’t deny the thrill that crashes through me, the way that my nerves light on fire. Something wicked inside of me begs me to push, to needle just a little bit more to see how far I can push him. The stubborn streak that I haven’t felt since I first met Nikolai.
“And if I don’t?!” I challenge, a smirk of my own playing on my face as I taunt him. “You want to hold it over my head that I don’t know? Then tell me! I’m in here helping you and for what? For you to dangle half-truths? Where does that get either of us! I’m putting my ass on the line here!”
I’m snapping, something inside of me breaks. I can’t be in this house with Nikolai if I can’t trust him. I can’t be the dutiful little housewife and just be here to look pretty. I’m so, so much more than that. I’m supposed to be his partner - his equal. Not somebody who only gets to know bits and pieces of his life. He had let me see into the darkest parts of him before and he sure as hell had no reason to hide them from me now.
Not unless it was a darkness that he knew would break me. Something that would shake me to my core and make me see him differently.
I have to know. I deserve the truth.
Something snaps in Alek too. He moves so fast that I don’t even see it happening. His foot moves and hooks to push me forward and off balance. I yelp in surprise as I stumble forward into the hard planes of his exposed chest. He manages to spin the pair of us, wrapping me half up in his chains as he pins my much smaller frame to the wall with his own body.
The fire inside of me roars to life - an inferno that wants to devour me alive.
I never did have the right bodily responses to fear. Why start now?
His knee pushes between mine as his body flattens mine to the wall. He’s showing me that he’s dangerous. He’s proving exactly what he would do if I don’t listen to him, how easy it would be for him to punish me.
Yet, my stupid body is so painfully turned on that all I can do is gape at him.
I never noticed that he has a little bit of yellow ringing the iris of his blue eyes. Even all bruised and dirty… there’s no denying how handsome he is. His dark hair is unkempt and falls around his face in a way that is alluring. He shouldn’t be - but he is.
I shouldn’t be feeling like this. I shouldn’t have these sorts of reactions to anyone other than my husband… but I can’t stop them either.
My hands rest on the chain wrapped around me, holding. He’s not putting any pressure on me, and I don’t struggle against it.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Alek sneers, voice full of derision. Clearly Lilian is a very sore spot, even all these years after her death.
For a moment. Just the span of a heartbeat, I’m jealous of a dead woman. That a man could love her so fiercely after so much time. Just the memory of her, to protect it so devoutly.
Then he turns me loose.
The absence of his body heat ignites a moan of protest that instantly humiliates me.
He turns his back to me, and I know that the conversation is over.
“Don’t come down here again, Volkovich.”
He says my surname with enough hate that I know that if I do, I might not leave.