Chapter 6
Obviously, I didn’t listen to him.
No man is going to tell me what to do outside of the bedroom, no matter how freakishly fast he moves or how vulnerable I happen to make myself from time to time.
More importantly, Alek apologized.
Part of me almost wanted to tell him that I didn’t need him to apologize, that I wanted him to pin me to the wall like that again because lord knows that my husband hasn’t been home long enough to touch me in a while. But of course, I don’t. It doesn’t matter that Nikolai is chasing after other women, he’s still my husband. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.
It’s his own fault.
Nikolai left me here and it’s not like the guards will let me out of the house. They won’t let me explore Houston or any of the places that I might want to go. I have to stay here, where it’s safe. The draw of a new big city to explore is practically singing in my veins and I’m not allowed to go anywhere near it. No tourist attractions or any of the good food it is so known for. What I wouldn’t give to just go out and have some of its famed Mexican food and drown myself in margaritas. Anything to let some of this steam loose.
But he would lose his mind if I went out because he might not be able to track me. He knows that I would never allow some huge security detail to trail after me. More importantly, Nikolai said that it would distract his focus and he has no choice but to be in Fort Worth, where the fighting is happening.
I don’t do well alone. What does he expect me to do? Sit here and twiddle my thumbs for days on end? He doesn’t want me poking around in his office - he doesn’t want me touching his stuff or asking questions that I shouldn’t. There’s only so much TV that a girl can watch!
If only he had left Horus here with me, maybe then I could have followed his orders a little better. But I need somebody to talk to. I need to have something to do. Not to mention that Alek would die down there if it weren’t for me feeding him. Nikolai either doesn’t care or he wants him to rot down here in the darkness.
I can’t do it. I can’t let somebody suffer like that.
It took a few days for Alek to warm back up to me, and I to him, but this might be going a bit too far.
I look down at the plate in my hand. Yesterday he said that if he had to choose one food to eat for the rest of his life, it would be chocolate chip cookies. He said it would be his final meal. I said cookies were hardly a meal, but he had just shrugged. Said that he liked what he liked.
So now I stand here, ever the damned fool with a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.
It’s going to change things if I go in there. I will no longer just be attending to his health and making sure that he’s fed… this is something more. This is personal.
I shouldn’t do it. I should go back upstairs and put on trash TV and eat them myself. That’s the wiser course. I can’t bring this man cookies. I can’t.
My hand opens the door to his cell anyway.
Alek groans the moment the smell of warm chocolate hits his nose.
My face splits into a grin.
I try my best to shut out the intrusive thought that if cookies make him sound like that… what other sounds could he possibly make?
Alek’s chains rustle and clink as he lifts his hands to wiggle his fingers for the plate in my hands. “I knew that you were an angel the first time I saw you.” he smiles and damnit if it doesn’t make my smile brighter. “Now I know that I was right.”
“I still think that this is a very childish choice for a final meal.” I pass him the plate and slowly sink into a crossed legged position directly in front of him.
“And I still don’t care,” he says as he inhales the aroma of the cookies so deeply that, even in the dim lighting from the still-open door, I can see his eyes roll back into his head.
I wonder why he hasn’t tried to run away. He could overpower me and take the keys maybe. He could run out of here if he could break the chains. Maybe he can’t break them. Maybe he’s staying here just so that I don’t get into trouble with Nikolai. The color is finally starting to return to his cheeks. The wounds have mostly all scabbed over and seem to be healing. I haven’t been able to get my hands on proper antibiotics while locked upstairs so I still don’t have a good feeling about the fever that seems to come and go from time to time. Still, progress is progress.
Alek pauses and gives me a side eye. “Unless you’re about to kill me, that is.”
I laugh and shake my head. “Eat your damned cookies.”
We both know that if I wanted to injure him, he would be a far too easy target for me to take advantage of.
He holds the plate toward me, his eyes insisting silently that I eat with him. I roll my eyes again and take a single cookie.
That seems to be enough for him and he shoves at least three into his mouth at the same time. So much that he can’t even properly close his mouth around them as he chews. He’s lucky he’s still injured or else I might have hit him in the chest just for being so gross. Crumbs fall down over him and the new sweatpants that I smuggled to him. And the flannel button down to keep him warm. It was a risk to bring him anything or to clean him up as best as I could, but I had to. I know that Nikolai’s men can discover me at any given moment but at least I can sleep at night knowing he’s not going to freeze to death.
At least he remembers his manners for the next cookie that he enjoys. I take a small bite of my own and shake my head. His answer is to grin at me with chocolate on his teeth.
“See? Childish!” I tease him.
He nods. “Guilty as charged.”
Like this, Alek seems so much younger. Over the course of the past week, I’ve been getting to know him better. So long as we avoid the subject of my husband or the war that’s presently being fought, he’s great company. I know he wants to know what’s happening out there or what Nikolai plans on doing with him… but I don’t know either.
In the vulnerable moments when I allow myself to be truly honest with myself, I almost dread Nikolai’s return. Strictly because I don’t know what he’s going to do to Alek or what the plans are. He clearly doesn’t care if his prisoner lives or dies.
But I do.
I don’t think I can lose him.
Being around Alek is easy. He has the sort of laugh that’s contagious. Now that he”s not actively internally bleeding and freezing to death, he’s funny, and kind. Despite being in chains, it still feels like we’re on some sort of date or something. I can’t explain it.
I didn’t think I would ever feel like this about anyone other than my husband.
Betrayal and guilt are an oily thing in my gut, threatening to rise upward. I try to staunch the feeling with another bite of cookie.
“You look distracted today,” Alek says around his mouthful of cookie.
When was the last time that Nikolai noticed that I felt any type of way at all?
I force a half smile and shrug a single finger. “He’s been gone a long time this time.”
“I’m the wrong person to look to for sympathy on that particular front.” Alek answers honestly and swipes his hands together to rid himself of the cookie crumbs. His gaze then drops to where my hands are wrapped around my bent knees, my cheek pressed into my knees as I watch him. “Is that why you’re not wearing your offensively huge ring?”
My what? My hand opens flat and I look up, startled at the realization that the familiar weight isn’t on my finger. When was the last time that I had it on? When did I take it off and where had I even put it?
Maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something.
I don’t even know how to answer.
“Honestly, I’m not sure how you don’t hit yourself with that rock when you do wear it. I’m glad it’s not here to blind me.” Alek continues, changing the subject effortlessly as he notes the look of discomfort on my face.
“I must have taken it off when I was baking…” I say lamely. It doesn’t sound like a good excuse, even to my own ears.
Silence stretches awkwardly for a beat of time between us before he graciously picks up the conversation.
“Nobody has ever baked cookies for me before,” Alek offers with a wry smile. “When he does get back, I can die a happy man. So, thank you for that.”
The notion of the man beside me dying is something I cannot tolerate.
Fear spikes through me as I try to picture it. He’s become my only friend… somebody who is mine in such a strange way.
“Don’t talk like that,” I whisper.
“It’s going to happen eventually, babe.” Alek smirks sadly. “This is borrowed time, no matter how good you make it. He’s likely expecting me to be good and cold by the time he gets back as it is. Don’t think that I haven’t noticed the general lack of his thugs poking around.”
I know he’s just attempting to keep me grounded in reality… but I don’t like it. I reject it entirely. I don’t want reality if that’s the only option. Why does the answer always have to be torture and killing? Why can’t it ever be something else?
I just want to show Alek that he means something to me. That no matter how all this ends, I need him to know how much I care for him. I’m going to remember him, no matter what. Fate has to have pushed us together for a reason. I can’t allow any other alternative. I just can’t.
I don’t know why I do it. Maybe I’m just lonely, maybe I’m sad. Maybe I have deeper feelings for this man who has been the only thing keeping me sane in this damned empty mansion for a week now that my own husband won’t return my calls, but I lean in to kiss him.