Chapter 33
THIRTY-THREE
My eyes sprung open, fear gripped my heart, seizing in my chest.
Every nerve on alert.
I tightened my hold over Tatiana's belly, the feel of her flesh comforting, making my breathing begin to slow. There was a phantom pain in my fingers, a stark reminder of what Russia had taken from me, as I slowly etched my finger over Tatiana's skin, warm and soft.
She was here. Safe .
It'd been two days since someone had stolen her from my arms. Since they'd drugged our wine and almost killed her. And ever since, I'd lived and breathed in a murderous rage, trying to tamper it down just enough as to not scare Tatiana.
But the itch was under my skin –– ready to kill at a moment's notice.
We were in a safe house, deep in the middle of King territory, and the anticipation was making me restless, waiting for Torian to interrogate the hotel employee who'd brought our food that night.
A low sound drew my attention and I strained to hear the mumbled conversation outside my door.
I recognized Coulter's voice immediately, talking to Romeo, the guard standing watch. The door was ajar, letting a sliver of light run up the opposite wall. I tilted my head, indicating to Coulter that I was already awake.
He didn't answer but just stood in the doorway, waiting.
I pressed my lips to Tatiana's temple, inhaling the scent of fresh ocean air, a flutter of a memory, no doubt, before whispering softly, "I'll be back."
She stiffened in my arms, signaling that she, too, was awake and rolled over, her fingers trailing after me as I stood from the bed.
"He can come in," she murmured softly, and I nodded at him.
The small lamp by the floor bathed the room in a soft, yellow light. Coulter was wearing jeans and a black t-shirt, his hair rumpled, and worry etched the edges of his eyes.
Gone was the carefully curated smile, the mask of indifference he usually wore, replaced by a look of concern. "Torian reached out."
I grabbed my shirt from off the floor, tossing it at Tatiana's head. She smiled playfully, a brief glimpse of mischievousness before pulling it over her head and sitting up. Her eyes blinked wide, seriousness quickly falling over her features as we waited for news.
"'And?" I asked.
"He said that the order came from higher up. The server didn't have any other information than that. He's not important enough."
"Fuck," I cursed under my breath, glancing at Tatiana. She didn't move, except to inhale a slow breath.
"At least we have a reason to meet with Ahanu." The representative who negotiated between the Kings and the cartel.
Coulter nodded. "Yes." His gaze moved from Tatiana, to me. "That's why I'm here. We're meeting with him in an hour."
"This early?"
"We requested it," Coulter answered. "We've been unnecessarily generous, given them everything they wanted. They're provoking us now. First the drugs, now this. They have to pay for what they've done."
"If they'll admit to it." Guilt thrummed through me. I knew they had every reason for retribution –– if they'd discovered Carlos.
Tatiana stood. "I'm going with you."
"Of course." I wasn't lying when I said that we would go everywhere together. Especially after that night at the hotel.
"Are you sure?" Coulter asked. "What if she––"
"She's coming." My tone was final.
His throat bobbed and he nodded. "Of course."
Suddenly, his faith in me made my betrayal that much worse. I'd been ordered to maintain the peace, at least until after Rose had her baby, and the guilt I'd felt since betraying the family, the lie of omission about what I'd done, hung in the air.
"Look," I faced him, desperately wanting to get this out. I couldn't bear to keep this secret any longer. It was eating me alive and, maybe, if I said it now, I could find some way to make it right. "I need to tell you something."
Tati, as if sensing my vulnerability, clasped my arm. "Knight. Don't."
I bit down on the lump in my throat. "I have to."
"You don't."
I looked at her. "I do."
She shook her head, her gaze begging me. "It's my fault. Let me try––"
"Try what?" Coulter's voice was like a sheet of steel wrapping around us, and his intensity filled the room with tension.
I took a deep breath and forced myself to look him in the eyes. "I betrayed the family."
The gravity of my words hung in the air, and Coulter's expression was a mixture of shock and disbelief. He slowly shook his head in confusion. "What?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper.
Once again, Tatiana begged me to change my mind, “Knight, please, we can still make this right.”
“No,” I replied stubbornly, not wanting to look at her or face the guilt that weighed heavily on my heart.
It was like a pattern with me in life—betraying the people I loved the most. Rook and Tatiana first, then Coulter and the others who had stood by my side through thick and thin. They were my family and I had betrayed them all.
Coulter stepped towards me, his movements charged with emotion that couldn’t be hidden. His gaze locked onto mine and I straightened my spine determinedly.
After each betrayal, I'd hid from them like a coward. If I was ever going to be good enough for Tatiana, I had to face my mistakes.
For once in my life, I was going to face this like a man.
"I killed a cartel member. Then, after that, I gave Rook something that belonged to us."
"Excuse me?" Coulter's gaze hardened. "You gave him something that belonged to the Kings?"
"The notebook. The one from your fathers' vaul––"
"He did it for me," Tatiana rushed out. "To get me out of my contract wi--"
"I don't fucking care why he did it," Coulter's gaze, burning into me, filled with the fire of betrayal, hurt, and anger, all mixed into one. "You betrayed the family ? Bourbon? Rose?" It didn't escape my notice the way that his voice caught at his next word, " Me? "
It had only been this past year that Bourbon and Coulter had reconciled a decades long feud. Before that, it had been me, Dante, and him. Brothers in every sense of the word, except for blood.
We were as tight-knit as any family could be.
I nodded, shame burning through me, but I had to face the consequences. I betrayed my family for Tatiana, and now, I had to face the consequences for her. To be the man I needed to be to deserve her.
"How could you?" his voice was low and filled with anguish.
Tatiana reached out, "I told you, he did––"
"How could you?!!" Coulter roared, rage overcoming all other emotion and filling the short space between us. Then, suddenly, he was slamming against me.
I gasped in surprise as we fell to the floor. The air exhaled from my lungs at the impact. He straddled me, fingers gripping my shirt. He raised a fist. "How could you do this?"
His face was red with rage. Pain lanced in his voice. Echoed through my bones at the impact of his fist against my cheek.
Bones crunched, blood spurted from my nose.
"What the hell am I going to tell Bourbon?!" He hit me again and again. "Rose?" And, in that moment of rage, I understood. He wasn't mad at me for what I'd done. He was upset at what Bourbon might do.
To me.
Growling and straining against the pain, I rolled. Flipping him over, we tumbled on the floor. Each of us trying to get the upper-hand. Fists flaying and tunneling, grunting as we fought as only brothers could.
Getting out our aggression and anger without any real heat.
Because when it came down to it, Coulter would stand by me. No matter the cost for him. Because he was loyal like that.
But I couldn't let him take the fall.
The lamp crashed, snuffing the light in the room. Tatiana's voice, calling for us to stop. The door springing open, Romeo staring at us in surprise.
My nose was now bleeding. My shirt torn, the side table busted.
We rolled again until we slammed into the side of the bed. I felt Coulter's anger, his desperation, as he tried to gain the upper-hand. I grabbed the mattress, shoving my body upward. Coulter rolled, and then I was on top, roaring. "Stop!"
He suddenly stilled in surprise at my outburst. I almost never yelled. Cut marks marred his cheek. Blood sprayed across his face and shirt. His t-shirt too was ripped.
I tried to catch my breath. "This is on me, Coulter, not you."
"It motherfucking is on me, Knight."
"It's not. I did it, not you."
"It doesn't matter and you know that," Coulter spit out. His chest was heaving but his anger was starting to subside. "You know I won't let you take the fall."
"Fuck that and fuck you," I growled. "This is all on me." I leaned down, nose to nose, eye to eye. "All. On. Me."
We stared at each other like that and, for a brief moment, I saw something in his gaze I hadn't seen in a long time.
Fear.
Fear for me, or for his family, I wasn't sure. I knew that Aster and him were trying to have kids but, so far, were unable.
That, and Rose's belly was growing bigger; it wouldn't be too long before she was going to have her baby.
The cartel had been breathing down our neck, Bourbon uncharacteristically letting them take advantage of us.
The Kings were on top now. After killing Nero, Bourbon and Coulter were on top, but that didn't mean it would last.
On the contrary, they became a bigger target.
One the cartel was going after.
And now, with everything that was happening to Tatiana, and not understanding why her , things were quickly spiraling out of control.
He didn't answer, and I grunted, letting him go. I climbed up and off of him.
Tatiana was on the edge of the bed, kneeling, her eyes wide, looking small and vulnerable, engulfed by my t-shirt.
I rubbed a hand over my eyes, then through my hair as Coulter heaved from the floor below me.
I put a hand out to offer him a boost upwards. "We'll work this out. I swear, we'll fix it."
He grasped my hand but didn't let me pull him upwards yet. Just grasped my hand, holding me over him. "This isn't over."
Closing my eyes, unable to look at him, I nodded, yanking him to his feet. "I know man. I know."
The floor was littered with broken furniture, the walls scuffed with marks from where we'd bashed against them. Miraculously, my cell phone had survived untouched, and it chimed, the device lighting up.
My heart thudded even faster as the words on the screen sunk in.
I grabbed it, calling the number displayed.
Maya answered on the first ring. "Knight. I need you. Right now ."