Chapter 22
22
FRIDA
I spent the morning confessing everything to Eldi. The poor dragon had to listen to me go on and on about my feelings for Rune and my dread about returning to the mainland. Over the past few days, questions had been growing in my mind, questions I’d tried to bury under an avalanche of dirt. But they kept sprouting, stubbornly insisting I water them.
Why did the guild want to banish happiness?
How could my own father demand that from me?
Was Louisa right? Would I lose myself when I returned to the guild-hall and began carrying out my real assignments?
How would it feel when I left my newly bonded dragon behind? And Arvid? And…Rune.
I’d taken some Hugur sand to facilitate the conversation, just to ensure Eldi could understand me. When I’d finished laying out my questions, I felt a bit better for it. Nothing was solved, but acknowledging my problems out loud helped soften the sting of them.
Sighing, I sank onto the ground beside him and rested my forehead against his flank. The heat of him surrounded me like a hug.
My sweet friend, do you not see what you must do?
The voice rumbled through my mind, impossibly deep and gravelly. A jolt went through me, and I leapt to my feet. Heart pounding, I stared at Eldi, my lips parting. Had he…had he finally managed to speak to me? Or was I so distraught that I’d started hallucinating things now?
A rumbling went through my mind again. It is me, sweet friend. You did not hear me speak before because you did not consume enough Hugur sand. This time, you did.
I grinned, practically bouncing up and down on my toes. “I can’t believe it, Eldi. I can hear your voice!”
Yes, and you should heed it. Do not go back to those people. They do not have your best interests at heart.
My smile plummeted. “But those people are my family.”
Only a handful are. The rest are not. A pause. You told me they left you to fend for yourself in the woods for years. You were just a child.
“Well, yes, because the guild has rules.”
No rule would keep a good man from his daughter. If he truly cared for you, my sweet friend, he would have chosen you over a life of killing.
Eldi’s words knifed through me. I sucked in a sharp breath, staggering away from him. Surely he couldn’t mean that. Even though we were bonded, he didn’t know my past and everything I’d gone through to get to this moment. If he did, he…
He might still say these very things.
Tears burning my eyes, I said, “From an outside perspective, I can see why you might think my father doesn’t care for me, but my family has been a part of the guild for generations. It’s who we are. It’s in my blood. He was probably waiting for me to come to terms with it. He must have thought I’d come around eventually.”
My sweet friend, look into your heart and ask yourself if you truly believe that. And before you make a decision you’ll regret for the rest of your life, imagine what your future will be. Ignore what your ancestors did. What is it that you want, Frida? Choose your life for yourself.
I swallowed, taking a step back. Eldi’s question was fair, but it made my stomach churn. I’d spent the past year with an all-consuming focus on one thing: joining my family. I hadn’t allowed myself to question it or even contemplate a future that was anything else. It had been my way of coping with what I must do if I wanted to escape my loneliness.
Today’s conversations with Rune and Eldi had formed cracks in the ground beneath my feet, and I didn’t know where to step to avoid falling to a tragic fate.
“I need to go,” I whispered. “I’ll come back to see you tomorrow.”
I look forward to it, my sweet friend. Ask Rune if he still has his dragon’s saddle. I quite like the idea of trying out a short flight.
T he village felt alive. It had been well over a week since I’d come into town, so focused was I on building Arvid’s fence and learning how to communicate with my dragon. In just that short time, the streets had been transformed.
Already, the shell of Helga’s new home took shape between the neighboring buildings. Strings of garland looped from one side of the road to the other, embellished with wildflowers, pine cones, and brown feathers. The minstrels had erected a wooden stage outside the tavern, where they were launching into an upbeat song for the villagers dancing nearby. Several folk, including Lilia, were weaving through the throng and handing out tankards topped with froth.
“What’s all this?” I asked Rune. He stood tall beside me, clad in a snug-fitting cream tunic with twisting vines embroidered along the collar. He’d rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, which I found increasingly distracting. Something about the way his forearms flexed brought a flush of heat to my cheeks…and thighs.
Rune surveyed the boisterous street. “Since the Elding has moved on, the village is embracing the coming of summer. Everyone here prefers the outdoors and the open sky. Kind of like you, Frida.”
I smiled up at him. “And you.”
I still felt unsteadied by our discussion and my subsequent ‘conversation’ with Eldi. When I’d returned to the cottage, I’d expected Rune to pick up where we’d left off. I was sure he’d throw out more reasons why the guild wasn’t my home. And while I didn’t fully disagree with him, I also didn’t want to talk about it right now.
He’d sensed my reluctance to talk, and I’d been relieved when he hadn’t brought it up.
Now that we were here, I felt like I could breathe again. How could a girl feel trapped beneath a dark storm-cloud when minstrels were singing, pixies were dancing, and the best ale in the Isles was being passed around. As if reading my mind, Rune grabbed two tankards when Lilia bustled past.
“Here you are,” Rune said reverently as he pressed the tankard into my hands. “Lilia’s ale.”
I took a timid sip. The smooth, rich liquid tasted of what I could only describe as magic. Surprisingly sweet, it vanished from my tankard far quicker than I’d intended. After I’d drained the entire thing, I caught Rune’s laughing eyes as he watched me.
“Thought you might like that,” he murmured.
A thrilling heat curled through me. “I’m surprised you’re so fond of it. To me, it tastes like the kind of ale you’d find in a romance novel. It fits the descriptions I’ve read.”
“Ah. That’s because she’s from around here. She probably modelled it off Lilia’s ale.”
I blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Your favorite writer. She lives on the Isles. Last time I checked, she was in the Whispering Woods, over on the island called Hearthaven.”
“I had no idea,” I said, smiling. “I guess I just assumed she lived in a big city somewhere on the mainland.”
I didn’t know why it mattered, but the idea of Silva Sweetwater living in the Isles made a warmth flow through me. And to hear she might have based her stories on what she’d found here…Perhaps all those sweet moments, the perfect home, the friendships, and the romances really were possible, just like I’d always hoped.
The sound of music cut through my thoughts. On stage, the minstrels were thumping their feet against the wood and playing their instruments with gusto. Nearly the entire village had spilled out of their homes to fill the street. Helga and Valdar were spinning around each other, a wild light in both their eyes. It seemed the blanket picnic I’d set up for them had gone well, then. I beamed.
Suddenly, I was overcome with the need to let go of all my worries and ignore the path ahead, just one last time.
No matter what the future threw at me, I could have tonight.
I held out my hand. “Dance with me, Rune?”
“And risk me stepping on your feet?” he asked wryly.
“Don’t make me beg,” I said.
“I’d never make you beg, Frida.” He took my hand and twirled me under his arm. With a surprising gracefulness, he pulled me against him, our bodies swaying in time with the beat. Our dance was not the frenetic jumping and leaping, like so many others, but I didn’t dare complain. Not when my heartbeat was a roar of thunder in my ears and my breath felt trapped in my lungs.
Rune leaned down and pressed his lips against my ear. When his breath caressed my skin, I shuddered. “I’m sorry it’s not raining.”
A full-body shiver went through me. “You remember me saying I like dancing in the rain?”
“Frida, I remember everything you’ve said.”
I swallowed, Rune’s steady warmth pulsing against me. When I tipped back my head to look up at his face, I found him already staring down at me. Something in my chest tightened. My mind raced. His words were what I’d always dreamed of hearing, but surely he didn’t mean them the way I wanted. Surely the intensity of his gaze was only driven by…friendship?
I looked away, but Rune took my chin between his fingers and turned my head back toward him. His eyes were full of heat.
“Frida,” he said. “I know I have no right to ask this, and dammit, I know I shouldn’t. But I can’t fucking help myself when it comes to you.” His thumb caressed my jaw. “Some might say dragons are the most magnificent creatures alive, but they’ve got nothing on you. So before you leave my life forever, can I kiss you?”
My breath shuddered out of me. Inside my chest, my heart felt near to bursting, and his words repeated in my mind like a prayer. I tried to speak, but my voice felt trapped in my throat. So I answered him the only way I knew how. I gripped his tunic, pulled him down, and kissed him fiercely.
He groaned, his fingers tightening on my chin. His lips caressed mine, and a tumultuous need tore through me. Everything around us fell away. And as our bodies collided, it was as if time itself stood still. I poured everything into the kiss, pushing up onto my toes to get even nearer to him. He responded in kind, his free hand sliding around my waist and tugging me into his chest.
Too soon, the sound of clapping cut through the moment, bringing the world around us back into focus again. Sucking in a breath, I released my grip on Rune’s shirt and tumbled back. A few folk had caught sight of our kiss and were clapping and cheering, like we’d just won at life. My cheeks flamed.
“All right, all right,” Rune called out to the gawkers. “You’ve made your point. Move along now.”
Our audience laughed, then drifted away, leaving me and Rune staring awkwardly at each other. My lips felt hot and swollen, even though our kiss had only lasted for a moment. It didn’t feel nearly long enough. If anything, only briefly giving in to my feelings made them that much more potent, like flames were licking my skin.
“Sorry about that,” Rune said, running a hand along the top of his head. “It’s such a sleepy little village that it doesn’t take much to get people excited.”
Shyly, I asked, “Should we have another round of ale?”
He motioned toward Lilia, who’d just emerged from the tavern with a tray full of drinks. “After you.”
We got another round. And then another. The sun soon vanished from the sky, giving way to a darkness that was speared through by an abundance of stars. After we settled onto a bench beneath the drooping leaves of a willow tree—Rune had built it years ago, of course—several of the villagers approached us and welcomed me to their island. I’d met a few last time, but only briefly. All were far more welcoming than they ought to be, given my secrets, and my uncertain guilt began to creep up as the night wore on.
There was a bone-crushing truth I was wrestling with. A life spent within the cold, sterile guild-hall, tasked to aim my bow at whoever I was commanded to target, no longer called to me the way it had before. In fact, I was quickly realizing it had never really called to me in the first place. Deep down, I’d always known it, but I’d ignored that feeling. My family meant everything to me.
Except I hardly knew them.
They hadn’t come for me when I’d run away. A year after I’d fled into the night, a note showed up on my front porch. They’d finally found me. But instead of asking me to come back home, all they did was wish me luck and tell me that my mother had passed away from her illness. It wasn’t until years later that my brother came to pitch the idea of me joining the guild. Even then, my father kept his distance.
Rune shifted on the bench beside me, watching the minstrels pack up their things for the night. The street had emptied. Only Ragnar and Lilia remained. They carried empty tankards into the tavern, where hearth-light cast a luminous glow into the growing darkness.
“I suppose we ought to head back home,” he said. “Are you all right? You’ve been quiet for the last half hour.”
“Just taking it all in.” Tipping back my head, I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of the forest. “I love this place.”
A moment stretched between us before he said, “Come on. There’s something I want to show you.”
The route to the cottage was shrouded in darkness, but Rune walked confidently, like he’d trodden this path a thousand times before. The forest was starting to feel familiar to me, too. So when we reached a fork, I expected us to turn left. Instead, Rune steered us to the right.
As we continued forward, the scent of brine curled through the trees, and I could hear the distant hiss of waves against sand. Soon the redwoods parted before us, and the moon’s silver glow illuminated an endless stretch of sea that melted into the dark horizon. In unison, we came to a stop at the edge of the tree-line and gazed out at the expanse. The water stretched on for miles without even a dot of land marring the surface. It suddenly felt as if we were the only two people left in the world.
“It’s beautiful at night,” I whispered. “The sea, I mean.” But really, I meant everything about this place: the forest, the village, the people. All of it called to my soul.
“So is this,” Rune answered. I turned to find him leaning against the trunk of the nearest tree, holding a purple lily. Smiling, he held it toward me. “You said they were your favorites. Well, one of your many favorite things.”
A sudden lump clogged my throat. “Rune.”
“Frida.”
“Why are you doing all these nice things for me?”
He pushed away from the tree and strode toward me, his muscular body backlit by the moon. “Because you shine brighter than the sun when you’re happy, and you deserve to have everything that makes you feel that way. The flowers, the music, the dancing, the books, the cheese. Your new bonded dragon. All of it, Frida. You don’t have to go back to that place. Everything you want is here .”
My heart thundered in my ears.
“You forgot one thing,” I whispered.
“Lilia’s ale? Because you won’t get that back in Erik’s fucking cage, either.”
“No, that’s not what I meant,” I said, trying to find the courage to voice it. “There’s one more thing I want that’s here. You.”
Rune went very still, though his eyes swept back and forth across my face, as if he was searching for confirmation that what I’d said was true.
“Come on, Frida. Don’t joke about that.”
“Did that kiss feel like a joke to you?” I countered.
“No, it fucking didn’t,” he said in a low growl. Rune erased the distance between us, his eyes sparking with heat. “Does that mean you’ll stay?”
I looked away, hating that I couldn’t tell him what he wanted to hear—what we both wanted to hear. “How can I? If I stay here, Erik and my father will send someone looking for me. And you. I can’t let that happen. Plus, the folk of Oakwater deserve peace, and we can’t risk the guild discovering Eldi.” I took a deep breath. “I’ve put a lot of thought into this, and there’s only one solution to keep everyone safe. I have to return to the guild and tell them I wasn’t able to step foot on the island. I can say the protective magic stopped me. Erik will have no choice but to give up on finding you.”
Rune scowled. “What about the ship’s captain that saw you come ashore?”
“Louisa didn’t seem too fond of Erik. I think I can convince her to keep quiet about it. And if she seems resistant, I’ll offer to steal some coin and pay for her silence.”
“That’s a terrible fucking plan,” Rune said with a bitter laugh.
“It’s the best plan I have!” I threw up my hands, tears blurring my vision. “Trust me, I have been falling apart trying to fix this impossible situation. And the only solution is to make myself miserable for the rest of my life!”
“I don’t accept that,” Rune shot back. “I’m going to make you happy, whether you like it or not.”
“And I’m going to save your bloody life, whether you like it or not.”
“Oh yeah? And what are you going to do if I toss you over my shoulder and lock you up in my cottage so that you can’t throw yourself to the wolves?”
I narrowed my eyes. “You wouldn’t.”
“You underestimate my hatred for the guild and everything it stands for. If I had to choose between you hating me or you becoming one of them, you better fucking believe I’d choose to lock you up every damn time.” His lips quirked up in the corners. “Fortunately, you’ve just given me a better idea.”
Folding my arms, I glared at him. “Oh yeah? And what is that, Rune?”
“If you think the ship’s captain will be willing to lie for you, then we make it a better fucking lie. We can say the magic not only stopped you, but it took your life. And if anyone tries to outsmart it again, the same thing will happen to them.”
My stomach dropped. “Rune, no.”
“Don’t you see? As long as your captain friend agrees, it solves everything. You can stay here, where you’re happy, and Erik won’t send someone else.” He shook his head, his eyes searching mine. “Give me one good reason we shouldn’t do this.”
“You’re right. It would definitely stop Erik from sending someone else. But…” I blew out a breath, hating the tumultuous beating of my heart. “I can’t bear the thought of my family believing I’m dead. And if I did this, I’d never see them again. Surely you can understand why that’s not an easy decision for me to make.”
Rune’s eyes softened. “I know it isn’t, Frida. Sleep on it, then. See how you feel in the morning.”