18. Jamieson
eighteen
Jamieson
G riff pulls on my shirt and I happily reach down and pull it over my head, before helping him out when his shirt gets stuck on his cast.
We both laugh and continue to make out in the doorway of his bedroom until he grabs my waistband and walks backwards until his legs hit the bed.
We can’t keep our mouths off each other while we scramble to unbuckle and unzip our pants. A frustrated growl vibrates from Griff, and I have to laugh.
“You sound like a pissed-off puppy.”
“I can’t get your button undone with this damn cast covering part of my hand.”
Griff’s hands are shaking. It’s not the cast. Taking his hands in mine, I kiss the back of each one before placing his hands on my shoulders.
“Let me do it.”
Griff’s fingers press into my shoulders as he ducks his head to watch my hands. With my belt hanging open and my zipper at half-mast, I pause.
“Actually, I have a better idea.” Pressing Griff back, he sits on the edge of the bed, and I kneel in front of him to tug his pants off. My fingers slip under the band of his briefs and his breath catches, but he raises his ass so I can take them off.
Leaning back on his elbows, he waits, completely naked, and watches as I stand to remove the rest of my clothes. We’ve seen each other naked. That part isn’t new.
But this spark of emotion and baring not just skin but ourselves is new. I wanted to show Griff how much I loved him when I brought the beach to his apartment, but I also wanted him to know I was all in. Yes, we had words in the hotel, but I know Griff is still nervous that I might nope out at any minute. He’s not a passing fling, and the initials etched forever into my skin should have been my first clue that what I felt for Griff was more than just admiration.
But clearly, I’m not always a fast learner.
“I’ve always thought you were attractive with clothes on, but without them…I might need a glass of water,” Griff jokes and motions for me to come closer as he sits up. He runs his hands up over my abs and stares up at me with those blue eyes.
“Griff…I want…” Shit. My throat constricts, and it’s hard to swallow.
He smiles the sweetest smile and slides back onto the bed. Patting the spot next to him, I take the hint and lie in the empty spot.
“Nothing you can do with me will ever be bad, Jamie. I want to be with you. I always have.”
“Is it stupid to say I’m afraid of fucking all this up and losing you?”
Griff’s eyes widen, and he shakes his head .
“No, because I keep feeling that, too. That it’s stupid for me to take a chance with you, but I think even if it didn’t work out with us, I’d never be able to shed you. I’ve lived with you under my skin for ten years, Jamie. Like your tattoo…having you in my life is rather permanent now.”
“I never knew you were so poetic.”
Griff pulls us closer, and my cock brushes his. “Not poetic. Just dying for you to make me see stars.” His lips tilt in a playful grin as he rocks his hips into mine. “I love you. I love what you did here tonight, but I’d really like you to make me come.”
He pulls me over of him and hooks his legs behind my ass. I get the hint and rut against him. He shifts his hips when I move, and each time he does, our dicks meet differently, every touch better than the last. Griff sighs and pulls my head down, kissing me with a hunger that makes my toes tingle. The man knows how to kiss.
“Fuck, Griff…”
He rolls to his side and reaches for the bedside table. After pawing in his drawer, he has a bottle of lube, and squirts some into his hand. “I want to show you what I like.”
“I’m all in.”
“Good, because it’s always better with a partner,” Griff jokes, but I don’t laugh because he strokes my hard cock with a well-lubed hand and words are…extremely difficult to form.
After smearing the lube between his thighs, he snuggles back to my chest and lines us up. Instead of holding my cock to his ass, he guides it under between his thighs, and my dick rubs up under his ball sack.
Griff squeezes his thighs together and turns his head over his shoulder for a kiss .
Our harsh breathing and sloppy kisses fill the air, and I hold him so tight to me, it’s a wonder we can both still breathe. I bat his hand away from his dick and stroke him in time to my thrusts.
Griff groans, and the warmth of his release coats my hand. “Jamie…” He clamps his thighs together as my balls draw tight and I come so hard the aftershocks of my body shake the headboard.
Jesus. There’re men out there who don’t like this? Fucking idiots.
“Holy hell, Jamie.” Griff laughs softly and kisses the back of my hand while I summon all my mental capacity to form words. I’ve never felt so wrung out from an orgasm before. Is that what love does?
“I think my brain just went offline,” I mumble, and the bed shakes with Griff’s laughter.
“Can you at least bring it online enough to tell me if you liked it? There are other positions if you don't like that one.”
Turning my head on the pillow, I stare at Griff.
Griff’s face glows. Not just post-sex glow. He’s truly happy. Or maybe I’m seeing something that’s not really there because I’m still so blissed out.
“I think my temporary loss of speech and body convulsions speak to how much I liked it, babe. I’ve never felt this before, Griff. I’m hot and tingling and feel like the luckiest guy in the world.”
“Sounds like you have a fever.”
Snorting, I roll onto him and hover over his face. “Just a fever for you.”
“Oh my god. Please don’t start with all the cheesy sayings and shit. I don’t know if I can handle that.”
“Okay. How about this…I can’t wait to start a new life with you. I love you and you’re amazing. ”
His features soften, and he reaches a hand to cup my cheek. “Better. Shower with me?”
“I’d never turn that down.”
Griff’s jaw is tight as he drives my truck and even in the light of the early morning hour, I know all I can do is just be here.
I wish I could do more, but after talking to my parents about Griff’s dad and learning more about alcoholism, I know it’s all I can offer right now. Just to be here and take care of him when he needs it.
The plastic rattles on my licorice package, and he glances over at me.
“How do you eat that in the morning?”
“Licorice? Like this.” I rip a piece off with a happy hum and chew it. Griff relaxes a little with a smile, and I hold a piece out to him.
“No thanks. I don’t normally eat until after I get to Dad’s. I’m too…I just can’t.”
The tightness returns to his face, and I shift to squeeze his thigh. He immediately grabs my hand and holds it there, his thumb sliding along my knuckles, and I toss the licorice into the bag of snacks at my feet .
“Do you want to talk about anything? I don’t even need to respond. I’ll just listen.”
The radio cuts in and out, so I switch it off with my free hand. Griff’s pet peeve is driving where even satellite radio can be interrupted. He’d rather sit in silence than listen to partial bits of song. Or me singing the missing bits. I tried that once and I think if he had a weapon, he would have used it on me.
“He doesn’t know we’re coming.” Griff glances quickly at me. “Even if I told him what day I was coming, he’s likely to forget, but I haven’t told him about you or that I’ll be here.”
“Okay. Is he going to be mad?”
“I don’t think so. The good thing about Dad is he’s not violent. I’m lucky that way. He just gets sad and talks a lot about past stuff. He’ll be happy to see me, then sad I’m not around more, then he’ll either talk about shit when I was ten or stare at the TV.” Griff sighs, and I feel the weight of it. “It’s honestly a lot of stress for me. I gave up hoping each time would be different a long time ago. Now I just keep showing up because I never know when the last time will be.”
Griff just spews all this out as straight facts, and I want to both cry and punch myself for being so oblivious to his trials.
“I’ll warn you, though. Today I’m trying to talk him into going to a doctor. He might agree, and if he does, I need to call the rehab facility immediately. I won’t hold my breath because he always fights me on it.”
“Is there someone who could come to the house if he won’t go? Do doctors make house calls?”
Griff puffs his cheeks and squeezes my hand again.
“I can ask a nurse. There are a few in town that might do it. I’ve checked, but he needs bloodwork and tests, and…maybe it’s best I do n’t know how sick he is. He needs to detox. But I’ll warn you, Jamie…he looks like shit.”
I don’t know if I’d have the mental strength Griff has if our roles were reversed. To be responsible for the only parent you have is a burden. In every way. Sure, there’s love there, but to know he should be in rehab and that Griff has sacrificed his own dreams to help his father…that breaks my heart, and I don’t know if I could do it.
“You’re an amazing son, you know. You’ve handled this on your own and a lot of kids might just walk away. This probably sounds rude, but why do you keep coming back when it’s so hard on you?”
Maybe that’s my selfishness coming out, but I think it’s a legitimate question to ask. Especially now that I know he’s so stressed he doesn’t eat before he visits.
Griff sighs again and squeezes my hand.
“Because I have no one else. He’s my dad, and if I didn’t keep checking on him, nobody would. He’s pushed away all his friends over the years, and he’s literally alone. Sometimes I just wish…” Griff’s swallow clicks, and I squeeze his hand. “I just wish he’d at least move into a facility. Some place where he could press a button for help, and they’d make him go to a dining room to eat. Where he could be with people and get help to deal with this disease. It’s a long shot he’ll even agree to the help, I know that, but I just can’t ignore him.”
He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it before placing it back on his thigh.
“It’s hard for me to explain, but I can’t walk away like that, Jamie. He’s so damn isolated in this shitty town.”
Wow. My eyes prick with tears for Griff, and it’s not the first time I feel like an asshole. Would I abandon my parents if I were in his place? Probably not, but I’ve never been in his shoes. Not even a little. His capacity to forgive is something I need to strive towards.
Griff says nothing else, but he still holds my hand, and I’m happy to provide the comfort. My mind wanders in the silence, though. Instead of worrying about how he handles all this, I’m now back to worrying about actually meeting his dad. I’ve never been in a relationship to meet the parents. Griff knows mine because we live in the same town and they came to the university a few times.
He met my sister and had dinner with us occasionally. They ask about him all the time, and yet I’ve never met his dad.
Anything close to a relationship I’ve had never lasted more than a week or so. Definitely not-meet-the-parents material, and they didn’t have a connection like me and Griff. They were buckle chasers. You can get laid a surprising amount while doing rodeo. Which I did. God and Griff watched it all go down and never said a word.
“You’re thinking pretty hard over there. Want to talk about it?” He grins over at me. “You always chew your lips when something bothers you. Always.”
“I’ve never met someone’s parents before. Well, I’ve met parents, but I’ve never met them when I’m in love with their child. I guess I’m nervous.”
Griff smiles with a sadness so profound I almost wish I never said anything.
“I love that you’re nervous, but…don’t be disappointed if he doesn’t remember your name or ask you much. He might, but prepare yourself for disinterest. He could be in a chatty mood or a si lent mood. There’s literally no in between. But I’m happy you’re here with me all the same.”
We don’t talk much more after that, both of us caught in our own thoughts. The sign for his town comes into view, and Griff’s fingers grip the steering wheel harder.
He makes a series of turns until we’re driving down a mixed neighbourhood of houses, fourplexes, and mobile homes. He pulls into a driveway at the oldest mobile home on the street. It has to be a 1960s model with a rusted tin roof and windows that look original. The only thing on the outside that looks new is a small wooden platform deck off the side.
“Well, this is it. Hard to believe it looked better when I grew up here.”
“But you had a bed to sleep in at least, right?”
If I don’t find something bright about this, I might crack and not provide the support I came here to provide.
Griff nods before opening the truck door. “That’s true. Could’ve been worse.” He waits for me in front of the truck, and when I reach him, he takes my hand. “His steps were rotting last year. I looked up a DIY video and made this new deck with a step so he wouldn’t trip and fall. I think it turned out pretty good.”
“I love a man who’s good with his hands.”
Griff snorts before puffing another long breath.
“If you want to change your mind, just take the truck and I’ll text you.”
“I’m not changing my mind, and I’m not leaving you alone.”
The open emotion in his eyes leaves no room for words.
“Okay. Let’s meet my dad.”