21. Griff
twenty-one
Griff
W atching Jamieson sleep in my bed and knowing he’s naked under the covers, my covers , is almost surreal. Since our road trip, he’s spent every night at my place, and I’m certainly not complaining.
A crack in my curtains shines a sliver of sunlight into the room, just enough to make you open your eyes if you’re dozing. Well, as long as you’re not a deep sleeper like Jamie.
Today, he surprises me and cracks one sleepy eye open.
“Stop staring at me when I sleep. It’s stalker vibes, Griff.”
Laughing, I lean forward and press a kiss to his lips. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it.” I trace a fingertip along his chest. “I like waking up to you.”
Jamie wraps a hand around my wrist and pulls on my arm. “Get your sexy ass over here.”
With some rustling of blankets and laughter, we wrestle until I pull him on top of me. “Well, this is good, too,” he whispers as his hips move and press our morning wood together.
“Part of my master plan,” I whisper as he kisses my neck and ruts against me. When I told Jamie penetrative sex was off the table, I wasn’t sure if we could be compatible. I’d spent years watching him with both men and women, but I never asked for intimate details about how it went down behind closed doors. I assumed he was like his bull rider personality and liked the thrill of a fast ride.
Many times, my imagination sent my jealous brain into a tailspin with thoughts of him bending people over—literally—at his whim.
Turns out Jamie kept his own secrets and prefers to take things slow, and he likes to touch…a lot. For Jamieson, the greatest buildup is teasing exposed skin and simply being against another body. Every single caress has a purpose, and there’s just something about his attention to the little things that ignites the flame I’ve always kept for him.
His lithe body undulates against me, lighting up every nerve in my body, and I arch up into him with a sigh. His lips smile against my skin as his fingers brush over my hardened nipples, and a sudden puff of air escapes my lips.
“I love how you gasp like that when I touch you.”
He does it again, and I shamelessly grip his ass and push him harder against me. “I l-love it when you do.”
“Wrap your legs around me.” When I do as he asks, Jamie shudders. “Fuck, yes.” He plasters himself against my chest, and I hold on to him tightly as we both move in an erotic slide, chasing our orgasms.
He rests his forehead against mine, and our pants mix in the space between us. Jamieson kisses me, his tongue parting my lips with a gentleness I crave, and I moan against his mouth.
“Griff…” Jamie tenses, and the hot splash of his release hits my skin.
“Oh, fuck!” My balls draw tight, and I unload between us with an orgasm that catches me by surprise. Jamie always seems to do that to me. He gets me to the edge without me noticing how close I really am. It’s intense, and I wouldn’t change a thing.
“You get his pinkish tint all over after we have sex, and it’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.”
Jamie pushes up and hovers over me to survey my body as much as he can, clearly pleased with himself.
“Adorable? Really?”
He settles back down over me and kisses my nose. “Really.”
“I guess I could be called worse things.”
“Absolutely. Besides, I like adorable.” He rolls off me and finds my hand on the bed, clasping our fingers together. The mood changes and, like the flow of electricity through wires, Jamie’s nerves channel through his hand to mine. “I need to talk to you about something.”
Turning my head, I take in his profile. Handsome, with a light scruff along his jaw, and when he turns his head to meet my gaze, his expression makes me want to hand him my heart on a gilded platter.
“What do you want to talk about?”
“I want us to move in together.”
No preamble, just…here it is. That’s Jamieson.
“You’re already here every night. If you want to change your address to mine, I’d not be opposed.”
Jamie’s lips quirk into a half smile, and he bites his lip.
“I probably should have waited until we weren’t covered in drying cum to have this conversation, because that’s not what I mean.” He brings my hand to his lips for a kiss. “Just give me a minute. I’ll be right back. ”
He leaves me and I hear the water running in the bathroom before he comes back with a warm cloth to wipe me off. There’s something about Jamieson that’s just different now. Not in a bad way. Or maybe I’m seeing this side of him because I didn’t allow myself to before.
He’s extra gentle. Almost…soft in that giant teddy bear way.
When he’s finished wiping me off, he kisses my belly button and then raspberries my belly, so I laugh before he flops beside me again.
“What’s on your mind, Jamie?”
He lies on his back and grabs my hand again.
“I want us to get our own place. A new start.”
“Okay. We can look at places with more parking. I’m totally up for that.” He turns his face on the pillow again, and his brow dips a little. I run a finger over it, then pry the bottom lip from his teeth. “What’s bothering you?”
“The couple who rents my grandmother’s house have given their notice.”
“You want us to move there?” It’s a cute house in town with a little yard and garden, if I remember. I helped him mow the lawn once when his dad’s property manager didn’t send someone.
“I want to buy it.”
“Oh.” Buying a house needs money, and I don’t think I’m in that position anymore. “I spent my savings on Dad’s program. I can’t help with that.”
He rolls over and pulls me to him. “You don’t need to. But…I have an idea and if you’re on board, I’d really like to do it. ”
“I’m not sure if I want to have you carry the burden of a mortgage, Jamie. We can always find a bigger apartment. I can afford that.”
“Listen to me first.” He kisses me before drawing back. “I have enough for a down payment and my dad will sell the house at fair market value privately. No extra real estate fees. The mortgage I can cover on my own. I was pre-approved, and it’s a number I can manage. You can contribute to other bills, so you don’t feel like it’s charity, because I know that’s where your mind is going.”
“It was,” I admit. “But what else aren’t you telling me? This isn’t just you asking us to live together, which I one hundred percent want to do. There’s nothing better than waking up to you every morning.”
Jamieson bites at his lip again, and I run my thumb over it and rescue it. “Stop doing that. You’ll make it bleed.”
“The basement of the house has an in-law suite. There’s a separate entrance and we just need to do some renovating to freshen it up.”
“I don’t understand? You want us to live together but on separate floors?”
Jamie remains silent for a moment, cupping my cheek with his palm.
“I want your dad to live there.”
“What? No.” I try to push out of his arms, but he holds me closer.
“Griff, listen to me. I’ve thought about this, and I want to do this. You said it yourself; your dad will need you more than ever. He’s isolated in his trailer and that town. He can live downstairs, and we’d be able to help him. He can even pay rent; I don’t care how much, but whatever it takes to make you both feel like this isn’t a handout.”
“Jamie…that’s a huge…we can’t.”
It’s not possible that this man can offer so much to me and a man he doesn't even know.
“But you can , Griff. You’ve already been driving to his place and taking care of him. Having him here will be safer for both of you. If he needs medical care, it’s here and you can take him.”
“He’s not your burden, Jamie. I can’t let you do that.”
“Babe, it’s not a burden. It’s a gift. I want to be with you and fight over the blankets every night. I want to sneak into the shower with you when you think I’m not awake yet, and I want so badly to see you smile more.” Jamieson brushes his knuckles across my cheek. “You deserve good things, Griff.”
“Why?” My voice cracks, and I squeeze my eyes closed. I don’t know how to handle this. “Why would you do all this?”
Jamieson shifts until he blankets his body over mine. His thumb wipes at the tear that escaped to roll down my cheek.
“Because I love you and I’d do just about anything to make your life easier. I will stand by you in the hard times, Griff, and right now…it’s a hard time. You’ve always been the one taking care of me, and now I can help you. Too many years have passed with me stuck in the clouds, not even knowing the real you. Please let me take care of you.”
My chest heaves as I inhale and release a shaky breath. Jamieson never wavers, and his gentle touch on my cheek finally makes me open my eyes .
“The bravest thing I’ve ever done wasn’t stepping into rodeo rings with ornery bulls. It was kissing you. But you’ve been the best chance I’ve ever taken, Jamie.”
“Is that a yes?”
Sometimes I think just having Jamie like I’ve always wanted is enough of a gift in life. The ray of sunshine in my darkness has already helped me do so much. I’d be a fool not to let him do more if he wants to. Who am I to turn away love? Not just for me, but for my dad.
“Yes.” The smile that fills Jamieson’s face is more beautiful than the sunset on our boat cruise.
He throws his head back with a howl before kissing me while laughing.
“I love you, babe. You’ve just made me so freaking happy. Is it okay if I call my dad to let him know? Oh, and will you come over for supper next week? Mom said it’s been too long since she’s fed you.”
“Yeah, to all of it.”
Jamieson peppers my face with kisses before bouncing off the bed and grabbing his phone.
I just lie there a little longer and feel the weight of my past finally break up and drift away.
“Griff!”
Jamie stalks my way, chaps flapping as he walks, arms swinging at his side.
“Yeah?”
“I need you to vibe with this bull. I can’t believe I drew Lemonball.” He points a finger at me. “Yeah, that’s the face I made, too. Please tell me this bull isn’t about to live up to his name today.”
Lemonball is one of those bulls who just make the cut to be on the circuit. When he performs, he’s amazing, but when he has an off day, he can break a bull rider’s heart. There’s no bull with a more appropriate name.
“Of course. Lead the way.”
Following Jamie down the path to the pens, I admire his ass in his jeans and this time I don’t worry about hiding it. If anyone notices, they say nothing, and that just makes me smile.
A real one because I’m at the rodeo with Jamie and it’s no longer a secret that I love him.
“He’s right over…” Jamieson tilts his head. “Why do you look like that? What’s wrong?”
“Look like what?”
He swirls a finger around my face. “This. You look crazed or something. ”
Jamieson’s brow dips as he tries to decode whatever he sees, and I throw my head back with a laugh. “I was staring at your ass if you must know and happy that I didn’t have to hide it anymore.”
Jamie huffs and drops his head with a smile. “Seriously, Griff?” He shakes his head, but the smile never fades. “I didn’t peg you for a one-track mind while working. Get back to work.” He points at Lemonball, and brushes his hand over mine when I step closer.
The bull in question is almost docile in its pen, barely doing much, and Jamieson sighs. “He’s a dud today, isn’t he?”
“I feel like he won’t bring his A game tonight.”
Jamieson’s shoulders sag. “Dammit. I guess I just need to wow them with my technique then.”
“And hang on for eight seconds,” I add with a laugh. Jamieson does too and we look at each other sideways, right there next to the bull pens, and it finally just slots into place. This man is mine and while I’m still here protecting the riders in the ring, there’s something extra about it. Maybe it’s no longer carrying the secret, but whatever it is, it clears this weight that’s always been with me at rodeos.
“I don’t know what just happened, but I feel it too, Griff. Things just shifted, but not in a bad way. Is that where your mind went?”
“Yeah. There’s a lightness to this I’ve never felt since…” Pausing, I scan his face, and he waits just as patiently as he ever has. “Since before I fell in love with you. It’s sort of cheesy, but knowing you know how I feel and what I carried every rodeo, it’s kinda freeing to have you to talk to about it now.”
Jamieson remains quiet for a moment, and his hand brushes mine again .
“Can I take you out tonight? Not to the bar with the others or someplace loud. Like a date? Something away from the rodeo.”
My heart flutters against my ribcage and I’m certain I’m blushing, but I don’t fucking care.
“I would love that.”
With a tip of his hat, he grins. “It’s a date.”
Someone calls my name, and I step away from Jamie to get to work. As I’m walking away, I call back over my shoulder, “My favourite flowers are roses.”
His voice is far away, but I still hear him.
“I know! I’m a wonderful boyfriend that way.”
I snort a laugh as I turn the corner towards the entrance into the ring. He’s an amazing boyfriend in every way.