Chapter 24 - Lucas
I cursed as I burned my finger, quickly waving it to subside the pain. I pulled my gaze away from the candles to the rest of the room. The living room and entryway were covered in flowers and candles. The lights were off, giving the space a romantic feel.
"This is the stupidest thing I've ever done," I grumbled, still can't believe I was pulling it all off. But Cayden promised it was a good way to win her over. A way to really show I cared.
I ran a hand through my hair, looking over my outfit. I made sure to put something nicer on. I was wearing nice jeans and a navy blue button-down shirt.
Things had been off between Gina and me for a while now, and it was time we talked about everything and spoke about what we wanted. She was my mate, and I wanted what was best for her. I wanted her to have an easy life. I wanted her to be happy, and I hoped I was part of it. I wanted to be a part of it.
My phone rang, and I turned, seeing it was Cayden. I answered it and sighed. "Yes?"
"So, did you set it all up?"
"Yes," I said, surveying the space again. "And when she comes home, she's going to think it's the stupidest thing ever. I don't know why I even listened to you."
"She is not. She's going to love it. The grand gesture."
I pinched my eyes, thinking of our fight and her questions. Did I see myself as a father? It was hard to picture, considering I never knew if I really was father material. I didn't like a mess and couldn't stand loud noises—all parts of having children.
"Just take a breath. She will be home, and you guys will make up."
I scowled, wanting to ask him what she'd told him. I'd sent him over last night because I didn't want her to be alone. But I knew he wouldn't tell me. Cayden didn't tell anyone secrets even if you begged. It was why we got along so well.
"If this goes south, I'm coming for you. I'm blaming this all on you."
Cayden snorted on the other end. "And you and I both know how that would go down."
We did. Unlike Miles, Cayden was raised in a shitty pack. Where drawing blood in a fight won you a medal. A lot like mine, it was kill or be killed.
"Just be honest for once," Cayden added. "If you want a future with her, you need to open up. You both need to just open up and be honest with each other."
I heard the door latch turning, and I quickly ended the call and turned on my heels. Gina stepped into the house, and her eyes widened in shock. She took in the flowers and the candles. Her eyes snapped to the living room, where I had even more candles lit. Her mouth opened slightly, and she looked at me.
"I'm sorry for the fight the other day," I said, unsure of how else to start the conversation.
She just blinked in shock. She slid her shoes off, walked over to the small table that sat under the chandelier, and reached a hand up to the boutique I had in a vase.
"You could have just said that instead of this," she said, waving a hand.
I frowned. "So, you don't like this?"
She shook her head, waving her hands. "No, that's not what I'm saying. I meant you could have just said that. You didn't have to go to this extreme."
I frowned, suddenly feeling insulted. I knew this idea was dumb, and I felt a sudden anger to throat punch Cayden. It was his stupid idea, and I shouldn't have listened to him.
I turned to start cleaning it up when she moved. "No, don't…I…god…" She ran a hand through her hair. "This is beautiful, Lucas. It is, but I don't think you're doing it for the right reasons."
"Which would be what?"
"That's sorry," she said, "About our fight. But you could have just said that. You didn't have to do this." She looked around. "You do this when you're in love and when you want to prove something."
I straightened myself. "And what if that's what I'm trying to do?"
She stiffened and took a step back. She quickly shook her head. "You're not. You…” She swallowed, licking her lips. She fell silent for a moment before she shook her head again. "We agreed to a fake marriage…"
"Yeah, that we did, but I don't recall agreeing to a real baby." I paused, realizing how wrong that sounded.
Her lips formed a line. "Well, you didn't exactly argue when we were fucking making the baby, did you."
"That came out wrong, Gina. I mean…"
"I know what you meant," she snapped, looking away from me. "And this," she waved her hand around. "This is wrong because you don't love me. You don't know me."
"And maybe I'm trying to," I snapped back. "Jesus, Gina. I have done so many things to prove that I'm trying here. I've been in your corner the second you came here."
"That doesn't erase all those other years." She yelled, her voice echoing around us.
"I know that!" I growled back. "Don't you think I know that! Don't you think I'm aware of how shitty I treated you! How wrong I had been! God, Gina! I'm trying to make up for it! I'm trying to fix it."
"You can't fix the past!" She screamed. "How in God's name can we have a child together when we don't know each other? You don't love me. You don't know me!"
I ground my teeth together. "Because you won't let me. You won't let me in. How am I supposed to get to know you when you have your damn walls up and you don't let anyone in. You hold me at a distance, and no matter what I do, you won't let me get closer to you."
She narrowed her eyes at me. "I've protected myself for years, Lucas. You don't get to insult me because it's how I survived."
"And what about now? What about everyone in this town? They are nothing like our old pack. When are you going to get it through your head that you're not there anymore."
"Right around the time you start opening up yourself, Lucas. You wanna say I won't open up? How about you look in the mirror? What exactly is it you want from me? Why hang around me?"
I froze. I couldn't argue with her about that. I thought of Cayden's words. Just be honest. Open up.
"I want a future with you," I said, finally getting the words out.
She looked utterly shocked and swallowed. She took a slow breath in, but I continued. "I want to be around you. I don't want some fake marriage. I don't want some half-assed agreement. I want a real relationship with you."
She shook her head. "No, we agreed to a fake marriage."
"That was before you were pregnant, Gina. Before the baby. That child," I pointed to her stomach. "That changed everything."
She shook her head. "No, no, it didn't."
"Gina, what do you expect to happen after the ceremony? After you get the house, Chris is finally gone. What then? What's your next step? "
She shrugged, her face paling. "I haven't thought about it."
"Well, I have. I want to be around. So, you either accept all of it or none of it."
Her eyes widened in horror. "Are you saying you won't marry me unless I agree to stay with you?"
No…..maybe…I wasn't sure. I just didn't want whatever we had to be over. I couldn't stomach the thought of everything going back to the way it was now that I knew what it could be like with her.
I swallowed and watched tears burn in her eyes.
"You know, I knew you would fuck it all up somehow!" she yelled, stomping towards me. "You always do!"
"I'm asking you to think about the future. That's what I'm asking you!"
"No, you're making me marry you! That's what you're changing. You're giving me an ultimatum."
"How does it change! We were getting married anyway!"
"It was fake! We were going to get divorced!"
I shook my head. "I'm not agreeing to the divorce part now."
"Why!" She screamed.
"Because I love you!" I snapped back. "Why else would I do all of this? Why would I be around!? If I didn't have feelings for you, Gina, do you think I would have done half the things I did!?"
She looked shocked and confused all at once. She shook her head. "No, no, you don't." She looked away. "You need to leave."
I shook my head, "No. I'm not leaving. We need to finish this. We need to stop beating around the bush and figure things out."
She shook her head. "I'm done talking to you, and you're no longer welcome here."
I ground my teeth together. "Really, Gina? You think I'm going to leave you here alone."
She curled her hands into fists. "The only reason you hang around is because you think I'm weak and that I can't protect myself. You, like everyone else, will never understand."
It was like a tether snapped, and I growled. "You know what, Gina. Fine. You wanna be miserable. Go for it. You can sit in here and be as sad and pathetic as you want. I'm done trying. You wanna be a lone wolf, be a lone wolf."
I grabbed my jacket off the stairs and turned, marching out. I slammed the door as I did and stormed down the gravel road. I paused as I got to my car, knowing I couldn't leave. As angry as I was, I still refused to leave her alone in the house.
I turned around, taking the path around the house, and shifted. I allowed myself a moment before I went running down the yard, taking a pathway away.
I felt pure rage as I ran, not understanding why she wouldn't let me in. I had done nothing but try to give her space and give her time to understand that I cared.
I ran faster, pushing myself harder, hoping the anger would simmer. If I gave her an hour of silence time alone, maybe I could go back, and we could discuss this better.
I shouldn't have given her an ultimatum like that. Gina grew up without getting a say in anything, and it was wrong to take one away now. But the thought of losing her, the thought of having to leave her, ripped me apart.
I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. Yelling wasn't getting us anywhere. Neither of us did well being pushed into a corner, and that's what I'd done, I shoved her into a corner.
I came to a halt and felt my body stiffen up. I didn't know how to fix this, but I knew I had to. I needed to. I couldn't stomach living a life without Gina in it.