Chapter 26 #2
I turn to find the blonde, perky woman who always acts like she’s Cade’s fucking gatekeeper standing in the doorway of an office. Her posture is stiff, and her arms are crossed tightly over her chest.
I glance down the hall towards Cade’s office to see the door closed.
“Ok,” I say with a shrug, already turning back the way I came. If he’s not here, I’ll go find him at his house.
“Do you know what you’re doing to him?” she asks as I pass her.
I stop and slowly turn to face her again. Then I take a step closer, and she tenses.
“I do,” I say with a nod. “Do you know what you’re doing to him?”
I tilt my head as I let my gaze fall down her, taking in her neatly pressed dress pants, delicate pointed shoes, and a flowy blouse covered in flowers.
Over her shoulder, her office looks like it belongs to a therapist, with soft lighting and a circle of cozy armchairs.
I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a framed poster in there somewhere telling me I’m stronger than I think.
Her brow just creases as she stares back at me.
“Hm.” I nod to myself. “Didn’t think so.” Then I turn to continue on my way.
“You’re hurting him.”
I pause and turn back to her. My eyes narrow as I step into her again, this time close enough to make her feel it.
“No, darlin’,” I say in a low voice. “I’m not hurting him.” I lower my head until I’m looking her dead in the eye. “I’m doing much more than that.”
Her fingers twitch where they rest on her arms, and her knuckles pale with how tightly she grips herself. But she doesn’t break eye contact with me. Instead, she stands a little taller.
“Leave him alone.”
I huff with a small smile. “And why would I do that, when we’re having so much fun?”
Confusion flickers across her face, like she’s trying to figure out if I’m serious or joking.
I tilt my head as I observe her. “What’s your favourite tree?”
Her brows lift, and her eyes dart away from me for a moment, seeming to search the hallway for someone to come save her. “What?”
“You heard me.” I take another step in, crowding her in the doorway. “Now answer.”
She takes a step back and looks up at me as I see the first real flicker of fear enter her gaze. But I just stare her down and wait.
“Um…” she pauses, and I can see her wheels turning fast. “Magnolia…” she says in a small voice.
Well, fuck.
That’s a good one.
I nod. “Purity, nobility, perseverance, and strength.” My gaze stays fixed on hers. “Resilience in the face of challenge.”
She just continues to stare up at me, showing me exactly that.
I didn’t want to like her.
I step back and give her a nod. “Later, Magnolia.” Then I walk to the end of the hall.
“He’s not ok,” she calls after me.
“He’ll be fine,” I say, not looking back at her as I head out of the building.
But I know both are true.
He’s not ok. Anyone with two fucking eyes can see that he’s barely holding himself together. But I also know he will be ok. Because I see moments of it, when the walls come down and his eyes shine bright. He’s in there… and he’s slowly coming out.
I pause when I reach my bike and catch sight of Cade’s empty car parked across the lot.
The fuck…
She better not have lied to me.
But her favourite tree is a magnolia, so I know she wouldn’t.
It’s Friday evening… there’s no class, no meetings, and no reason he needs to be on campus. So where the fuck is he?
As a group of students walk by, looking like they’re heading to a bar or to a party, I pull on my helmet. Then I roar out of the parking lot, and head for the shitty bar where I first saw him grading tests in the corner booth.
But when I get there, the booth is empty.
And I can’t ignore the nagging feeling that tells me something might be wrong.
I ignore Sam’s greeting behind the bar as I turn and leave, heading back outside and to my bike. I’m not sure why he would leave his car at the university, but maybe he ended up at home.
I pull into his driveway just as the last light is draining from the sky, and find his house sitting quietly in the dark, with no light or movement anywhere. I kill the engine and sit in the driveway for a moment, watching the windows like they might blink back at me.
What the fuck, Cade…
As I swing a leg over my bike and head up the walkway, I pull out a cigarette and slip it between my lips. At least I wasn’t a smoker for my doctor’s appointment and passed everything with flying colours.
I drop down onto the front step, pulling smoke into my lungs as I watch the blue sky melt into hues of purple and streaks of orange, and the shadows stretch longer across the quiet street.
Where the fuck is he?
There’s no way he’s still on campus, and I don’t know where he’d go without his car.
I’m halfway through another cigarette as I work out a plan to check the other bars near campus when I hear footsteps.
I look up to see Cade stumbling up the driveway in the dark, with a nearly empty bottle dangling from one hand at his side.
He sways when he stops in front of me, his red, bloodshot eyes barely able to hold focus. His hair is more of a mess than usual, and his face is blank as he looks down at me.
I take a drag of my cigarette and blow the smoke out, staring right back at him.
He exhales, then drops down onto the step beside me, grabbing the railing to steady himself through the motion like he’s not sure which way is up.
I watch him for a moment as he stares out into the yard, with nothing at all behind his eyes.
When I reach over to take the bottle from him, he lets me take it and doesn’t even look at me. I lift it to my lips and take a drink before I dump the rest out onto the grass.
He just sniffs and keeps his gaze forward, as if he doesn’t want me to see what’s really going on behind his eyes.
But I know.
I flick the end of my cigarette into the dirt and stand, then reach down and pull him up with me. He stumbles as he pushes to his feet, so I wrap an arm around his waist and hold him against me as I guide him inside and up to his bed.
Magnolia was right.
But so am I.
Whatever is hiding beneath this wreckage is going to burn again. I’ll make damn fucking sure of it.