Chapter 27
TWENTY-SEVEN
My throat feels like sandpaper, and my eyes sting as I force them open. I’m in my bed… but I don’t remember getting here.
The room is draped in the faint blue-black shadows that linger right before dawn settles, but my head still throbs with the subtle light pushing through the curtains.
And next to me, Alder is asleep.
My eyes take a moment to focus as I look at him, lying on his back with his arm over his head, and his tattooed chest slowly rising and falling.
Fuck…
I rub a hand over my face and carefully slide out of bed, moving on unsteady legs towards the bathroom while my head feels like it’s floating.
I keep the light off as I close the bathroom door, finding the bottle of pain relievers by memory and swallowing them with a tall glass of water. Then I place my hands on the counter and let my head hang between my shoulders.
How the fuck did I end up like this? Again.
Eventually, I quietly pull the bathroom door open. But as I step back out into my bedroom, I’m met with Alder’s stare, where he’s sitting on the edge of the bed.
He doesn’t say anything as he pushes to his feet and walks over to stand before me. His eyes search mine, and I’m grateful the light is still dim in here so he can’t see everything that’s on full display. Because right now, I’m having a hard time keeping everything locked up.
Then his hand lifts, and his palm settles against my face in an oddly gentle gesture. And I can’t help it when I pull in a breath, close my eyes, and just… feel him.
When I open my eyes again, he gives me a soft nod. Then he drops his hand and steps back. “Let’s go.”
I don’t even ask where, as he grabs his clothes and leaves the room. I just move to my closet, pull on sweatpants and a hoodie, and follow him downstairs.
By the time I get there, he has coffee brewing and is pulling his shirt on. And when I notice he has a thermos out, I still don’t ask.
I follow him out to his bike, where he stashes the thermos in his saddlebag, and hands me a helmet.
Alder watches as I put it on, but presses a hand to my chest to stop me before I get on the bike behind him. Then his hand lifts from my chest to the strap under my chin, and he wraps his fingers around it, pulling me close to him.
The engine rumbles as the smell of gasoline and leather wraps around me, and his lips lightly brush over mine.
“You good to ride, Doc?” he asks.
I nod, pulling in a deep breath and feeling more steady on my feet now that I’m outside and my hangover is starting to hide away beneath a veil of pain relievers.
He nods as well as he releases his hold on my helmet, and lets me swing a leg over the bike behind him. Once I’m on and have my arms firmly wrapped around his waist, he takes off out of the driveway, and heads for the highway.
I hang on to Alder as he rips down the highway, heading south. He drives for almost an hour, and the entire time I just try to take it all in—the wind on my face, his solid muscles beneath my arms, and the speed at which we’re travelling as he weaves between cars.
It’s not until he pulls off the highway and takes us down winding back roads lined with dense trees that I realize where we’re going.
He’s taking me to the water.
Alder eases the bike into a clearing where the asphalt gives way to gravel, opening onto a quiet space carved out of the trees with a wide view spilling towards the Bay of Fundy.
It feels untouched, as though the world passed it by and forgot it was here.
There isn’t another soul around, and we haven’t even passed a house on the drive in.
Alder kills the engine and taps my leg to get off, and the silence presses in on me. The abrupt stillness is disorienting after so long with the wind and the roar of his engine in my ears, now replaced by the sharp cries of seagulls and the soft breeze drifting up from the water.
He takes my helmet from me without a word and grabs the thermos from the saddlebag, then heads towards the shore where the view stretches wide.
The land drops off into a jagged slope of rock, and beyond it, rippled tidal flats glint in the early morning light as the sun slowly rises in the distance.
The water has retreated far into the distance overnight, with the edge almost a kilometre away.
And now, the tide is making its way back in.
In a few short hours, it will rise again, swallowing the flats until it’s lapping at our feet.
Alder lowers himself onto a large rock near the cliff’s edge and opens the thermos, taking a drink as he stares out across the bay. Then he wordlessly passes it to me as I sit beside him.
I take a drink and let the warm coffee soothe my sore, dry throat as I watch the seagulls hopping on the exposed rocks before us while they cry out to each other. The breeze off the bay drifts across my skin as I shift my gaze to the distant water, wondering what it will pull back in with it.
“The Dominion Sons are pushing in,” Alder says, breaking the silence.
My head turns to him as my heart skips a beat. But he doesn’t look at me.
“They want to absorb us and have us run their drugs.” His jaw tightens as he stares out at the horizon, and I feel the anger bubbling beneath his skin.
And some fear starts to rise in me.
Everyone knows about the Dominion Sons. The organized crime syndicate spread across North America, deep into drug trafficking, and rumoured to be involved in so much worse. Human trafficking, extortion, and violence so brutal it's hard to even imagine.
As feared as the Basin Kings are here in New Brunswick, they also comes with a kind of acceptance. Because the only reason the Dominion Sons have stayed out of this province… is them.
The Kings bring their own brand of crime and danger, but it’s never directed at their community. And whether people want to admit it or not, we know they protect us from something far worse.
“What are you going to do?” I ask.
He sighs with a shake of his head. “I don’t know.
Everything is a fucking mess right now.” He pauses for a moment.
“Our auctions aren’t what they used to be.
We’re chasing and losing buyers, some getting priced out while others are afraid of the RCMP turning up the heat…
” He turns his head to meet my eyes. “Someone is feeding them information.”
My brows draw together as I hold his gaze, and for a moment his expression is almost… helpless.
But he quickly shifts his gaze out to the water. “And the club thinks the only other option is to run guns,” Alder says.
I take a moment to study him, taking in the tension in his shoulders and jaw, seeing just how much this is weighing on him.
“But you don’t,” I say.
He shakes his head. “No. I don’t. I can’t be responsible for bringing that here.”
I can’t help the small twitch at the corner of my mouth, despite the heaviness in this moment. Because I see what no one else gets to see.
The Basin King’s VP isn’t someone to be feared. He’s someone who protects, cares, and refuses to let danger come to his town and the people who live there.
“What do you want to do?” I ask.
He turns to look at me again. “Something big, risky, and damn near impossible.”
I nod. “Sounds about right.”
He lets out a quiet huff, and a small lopsided smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. Then he turns back towards the water, watching it crawl closer.
But I keep watching him. And I see the war he’s fighting.
He has a deep love for his club, which is what built him and gives him purpose. But now both his club and his love for it are being threatened.
He’s holding a lot and trying to keep his life together.
While I’m actively tearing mine apart.
“I know I have a good life,” I say, turning back to the water as well. “I always have.”
Alder stays quiet, but I feel his eyes shift to me.
“I have great, loving parents, and an older brother who’s always looked out for me. My family has always been supportive of who I am and what I want to do…” I pause as my words get stuck for a moment. But I want to get this out.
I need to.
“But the darkness was always there. For as long as I can remember,” I continue, trying to add strength to my voice.
“Just always hovering, waiting to pull me under. So I let it. And it dragged me down so far, I can’t feel anything anymore.
” I stare out at the water’s edge, moving in and covering the tidal flats, slowly but surely.
“I always feel it, but the worst of it comes and goes, hitting me in waves that make me feel like I’m drowning.
And each one rises higher and pulls me in deeper.
Until all that’s left is grey… and I’m completely numb. ”
I turn my head slowly and meet Alder’s gaze. His dark eyes lock on mine like he’s seeing all of me for the first time. Because I’m finally letting him.
And I find myself hoping he stays.
My eyes drop to his mouth as I pull in a breath. “I drink because it allows me to feel something. It brings me pain, guilt, and regret. The lack of sensation is worse than suffering, so I’d rather suffer. It makes me feel alive.”
Alder holds my gaze a moment longer, then leans in and presses his lips to mine.
His hand cups the side of my face with the force I crave, as he pushes my lips apart with his tongue and claims my mouth.
It’s rough and soft at the same time, as he steals my breath and gives it back to me all in one motion.
His beard scratches my skin as his thumb presses in on my jaw, and my hand slides under his cut.
The smell of smoke and leather mixes with the fresh scent of pine and salt, and I pull him closer to take even more.
A pulse deep inside me grows louder the longer his mouth is on mine until I want it to scream. I let it swell until it’s in my ears and my fingertips, and I’m overwhelmed by it in a way that makes me crave more.
Below us, the tide continues to climb, slowly swallowing up the same tidal flats it left exposed. It once again takes in the cracks and worn-down rocks it created, as one by one they each disappear beneath the surface.
The same force that erodes can also rise.
When he releases me, he leans back just enough to look into my eyes, keeping his hand on my face.
“Feel that?” he asks.
And all I can do is nod.
He smirks as his hand slips around the back of my neck, and his fingers twist into my hair. He pulls just enough to tip my head back and brings his mouth close to my ear. “You just need a bump start.”