Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
He was on a date. With a guy. Not that the guy part really matters much. It doesn’t. I didn’t have any gay friends growing up. Not that I knew of anyway—it wasn’t exactly heard of around here, but I did meet plenty of gay people when I lived in Kansas City.
Honestly, it opened up my eyes a hell of a lot when I moved there. Meeting so many different types of people and seeing the world through new eyes.
I didn’t know Spencer was gay—or maybe bisexual—but that’s not why my entire body is on high alert when he walks back into the small restaurant. Elijah is still finishing up his dinner, playing with his mashed potatoes. But I’m highly aware Spencer is back, and he’s alone this time.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I can’t stop thinking about his hand on the pretty guy’s hand—who he was on a date with. My jaw clenches, and I have to take a drink of my water to distract myself.
If Elijah notices anything weird, he doesn’t say it, and I’m grateful for that. But it doesn’t stop me from telling him I’ll be right back and to stay put before I walk over to the table Spencer is looking around—where he was sitting with his date.
“Forget something?”
He reaches down and grabs his keys before holding them up and facing me. “Found them.”
He looks like he wants to bolt, and I know I should let him, but I don’t want that.
The restaurant is nearly empty, probably because it’s a Wednesday, but I still glance around the room to make sure no one is paying attention.
It’s clear no one is. Though it was clear Spencer wasn’t trying to hide that he was on a date with a man around Elijah and me—I’m not naive to the way things work in this town.
And I’m not so certain that he’s officially out. “You were on a date?” I mean it as a statement—an opening to a discussion—but it comes out like a question.
“Is that a problem for you, Mr. Mitchell?” Yup, it’s clear he’s still not feeling the whole friends thing. Despite him being kind to me at the school the other day, his guard is right back up.
“No. Why would it be?”
He scoffs at that and then starts to walk away, and something like panic washes over me. I reach out, grabbing his arm to stop him. He whirls around, fury in those brown, golden orbs. “What are you doing?”
I drop my hand. “Sorry. I just uh...” I look around the room again—still no eyes on us. Not even Elijah’s, who’s still occupied with his food.
“You just what? Want a chance to make fun of me? The poor, scrawny little gay boy?”
“W-what?” I rear back a little, shocked by the anger coming off him. Does he really think I’d care about that? That I’d make fun of him? “Why would I make fun of you for being on a date with a guy? There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I know that.” He’s really heated. “But don’t you dare act like it’s fine with you and your little friends.”
“What friends?” I ask, totally dumbfounded. I had some good friends in Kansas City—all firemen—but since I moved back, it’s really just my brother who I hang out with now.
“Don’t,” he says, clearly flustered and looking around at the nearly empty room. “I don’t care what you think. I’ve moved past it, and I don’t need your approval.”
“Of course you don’t.” I’m totally lost, but it’s clear he’s upset.
Really upset. I try to think back to school—going over every interaction we may have had.
There weren’t a lot that I can recall, but I know I never once made fun of him for being gay.
I didn’t even know he was. If I would have. ..
Nope. Don’t go there.
“Spencer...” I try, but he steps back away from me.
“Don’t, Kade. I’ve grown up. It took me a long time to get over the shit that happened in school, but I’m over it. And I don’t need you bringing it all back up.”
I raise my hands, still in shock. “I swear I don’t know what you mean. My friends in high school?” My stomach sinks as I realize that’s the friends he was talking about. “They gave you a hard time for being gay?”
“Don’t,” he says again and looks like a caged animal—desperate to be free. “Don’t you dare pretend you had no idea. I may have been invisible to you, but you had to have known the things your friends did.”
“I swear—” I start but quickly shut up when he gives me a sharp look.
“It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. I’m out and proud. And if you want to bring up the fact that I’m gay to the principal and start shit—” He moves closer to me now, standing toe-to-toe with me. “You go right ahead. I’m ready for that battle.”
“Spencer...” I say quietly but firmly. “I would never do that. They can’t fire you for being gay anyway. Not that I’d want that. What kind of asshole do you think I am?”
“The worst kind,” he says without hesitation, and then he spins around and walks out without another glance in my direction.
I feel like I’ve been kicked in the chest but finally force my gaze away from the door and make my way back to my son, who’s finally finished his food and is looking at me questioningly. “What did you do to Mr. Bell?”
“I have no idea,” I say honestly.
Because what the fuck just happened?
By the time I get back to Bowen’s house with Elijah, I’m totally drained. I tuck him into bed and kiss him goodnight before heading into the living room to flip through channels on the television.
I’m completely lost about what Spencer was talking about. Is it possible that I bullied him somehow and don’t remember it? Our lives were shitty in high school—my siblings and mine. It was rough.
I barely remember high school, but I would remember that, wouldn’t I?
I’m still going over the past when my phone rings. I smile when I see it’s a video call from Tori and hit accept, smiling again when I see my sister’s happy face. “Kade, you’re alive.”
I snort. “Yes. I just talked to you last week.” The words you’re alive hit me pretty hard a moment later though—reminding me of Elijah.
And Tori, of course, picks up on it. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I sigh. “You just missed Elijah though. He’s asleep.”
“Damn it,” she curses but then grins. “Well, I’ll call him after school sometime. I’m still getting used to these time zones.”
“How’s work?”
“Good. I love it.” She brightens, and I’m happy for her. She deserves the world, for damn sure. Especially after practically raising Bowen and me. “What about you? Save any more cows?”
I raise my middle finger to the screen, flipping her off, and she laughs wholeheartedly. “Fuck off.”
“No dangerous calls though?”
I shake my head. “Couple of small fires. Two car wrecks, but nothing too awful.”
“Good.” She really does look relieved. “So did you figure out why Elijah’s teacher hates your guts yet?”
“I’m going to kill Bowen.” I smirk, though I’m not really mad at my brother for telling her. Their relationship is a little more complicated. Bowen wasn’t much younger than her and rebelled when she tried to raise his dumb ass. But they’re getting there.
“You and me both. But did you figure it out?”
“Nope,” I say honestly and hate how unsettled it makes me.
“It’s really bothering you, isn’t it?”
I really hate how well my sister knows me. I should avoid video chatting with her—but she’d probably still pick it up, just from listening to my voice. “I just don’t understand what I could have done to him. I was barely present in high school.”
She snorts. “You and Bowen were such pains in my ass, trying to get you to go to school.” She shakes her head. “But you were there, Kade. If you did something, maybe you can apologize.”
“I didn’t though. I wasn’t a bully, Tori. I wouldn’t have done that.”
She looks like she’s thinking carefully.
“I know you weren’t. I’d have beaten the shit out of you if you were.
” I grin, thinking about my tiny little sister kicking my ass.
She could do it, no doubt. The woman is fierce.
But she wouldn’t ever have actually laid a hand on me.
“But he must think you did. Maybe think harder.”
“Great advice, sis.”
That makes her toss her head back and laugh, but then we move on to other topics before I can barely keep my eyes open and say goodnight.
When I lie on the couch later, trying to go to sleep though, I do take her advice.
I think really damn hard about what I could have done to Spencer.
And still—I come up with nothing.