Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
“Phew, those men are just insanely beautiful,” Janelle says, waving a hand in front of her face—again with absolutely no shame.
“We’re at school,” I remind her as she drools over the firemen, who are currently still entertaining the kids with a tour of the truck.
“Don’t worry, Spencer. We still think you’re hot,” Shannon—or Ms. Spangler, a kindergarten teacher—says, bumping my arm playfully.
“Yeah, but we can’t ogle you too openly,” Janelle says. “That would be inappropriate.”
Shannon cackles, and I roll my eyes but can’t not smile. “You two are shameless.”
“Hey, I’m just looking for a husband. I’m getting close to thirty.”
“Gasp,” Janelle says teasingly, and we all laugh.
“I know, right?” Shannon says jokingly. “I’m gonna go shoot my shot.” She heads over to the firetruck, beelining straight to the Mitchell brothers, and I feel jealousy like none other wash over me.
Shannon is my friend, even though she did hit on me the first day we met, and I had to gently turn her down because we work together . She doesn’t know I’m gay, but I don’t think she’s one to cause an uproar about it if she did know. She took my gentle rejection well, and we’ve been friends since.
Still—it doesn’t stop me from wanting to rip her arm off when she giggles and places a hand on Kade’s shoulder.
“Easy, killer,” Janelle says quietly near my ear, and I realize I’ve been staring a little too hard.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say dismissively, but my best friend only laughs at me.
“Let me set you up. I think you need to work off some frustration.”
Her voice is low, but I still can’t help looking around us to make sure no one is listening. “Still no.”
But my eyes roam back over to Kade as he flirts with Shannon. Or she flirts with him—but he’s definitely not blocking the attempt. Not at all. Which is fine. Just great. They should totally get married. The firefighter and the kindergarten teacher. How cute.
My jaw actually hurts from clenching it so tightly. “I have the perfect guy in mind though, Spence. I’m not even kidding this time.”
I huff at that. “Right. Not a chance.” But my eyes haven’t left Shannon and Kade. Being jealous is absolutely ridiculous. I have no claim to Kade, and even if he suggested he did remember me from school—even if that’s true— it doesn’t change anything.
He’s not gay. He’s been married. He’s flirting up a storm with Ms. I Want a Husband . I’m still no one to him.
This is just plain stupid.
“Listen, I want to double date with you someday,” she says, over the top and dramatic as always but still with enough respect for me that she doesn’t say it loud enough for anyone to hear.
“Who is it?” I say in a total moment of weakness, and of course, she clings onto that and lights up.
“Oh my God, really?” She claps her hands together and turns to me but must decide not to waste time and just goes on, “His name is Levi, and he’s such a cutie. Early twenties. Just adorable.”
“Adorable?” I ask with a grin.
She shoves my shoulder playfully and then glances over toward the firetruck. “Well, I’d say your type is probably more the rugged, handsome, fireman type, but Levi is a beautiful man. And maybe it’s time to try something a little different.”
Can’t argue with any of that. “How do you know him?”
“Oh, he runs the flower shop in town. I had to go there last week to buy flowers for Mrs. Holcomb. Start the year out right.”
I snort because Mrs. Holcomb is our school principal, and last year, she may have heard Janelle talking about how she should remove the stick from her butt over the summer on the last day of school.
The woman was not pleased, but it’s not like she’d fire Janelle over that.
“Don’t think flowers are going to help.”
“Shut it,” she says, scolding me, but there’s mirth in her eyes. “Back to Levi. He was so kind and helpful. I really think you two would hit it off.”
“How do you even know he’s interested in guys?”
She actually blushes a little, and I’m already shaking my head at her when she says, “Well, I may have offered to set him up with my niece.”
“Janelle,” I laugh.
“What?” she asks innocently. “Love is a beautiful thing, and everyone should have it who wants it.”
Honestly, my best friend is too good for this world.
“He let me know he wouldn’t really be interested in a date with my niece, but maybe if I had a nephew. And then we got to talking about you.”
“Janelle,” I scold, and she just waves me off.
“Relax, I didn’t tell him anything other than you’re gorgeous and sweet and really need to get laid.”
She cackles on the last part, and I know she’s teasing, but I can still feel my cheeks turning bright red. “I need a new friend. Seriously, I’m taking applicants this week.”
She only grins. “Not getting rid of me that easily, and we both know you love me.”
I do. Damn her. “Besides there’s only one flower shop in town, and it’s been owned by the same woman since I can remember.”
“Yes, that’s his aunt. She retired and left the shop to him. I’m serious about this one, Spence. He’ll be perfect for you.”
I can’t help glancing over at Kade, who’s still in the firm grasp of Shannon, and then look back at Janelle, who’s waiting for my answer.
“At the very least, you could make a new friend. He’s new to town, and I think he could use that too.”
She knows exactly what she’s doing, pulling at my heart strings. “Okay.”
She doesn’t look surprised at all. She knew she had me.
I can’t believe I agreed to this, and on a school night of all nights. But apparently, Levi is busy on the weekends, and Janelle said he was pretty excited. Which, I have to admit, does pretty great things for my ego, even though I’m not expecting much.
My love life has been pretty dull since I moved back to Garnett after college. I mean, there have been occasional hookups here and there—using an app and usually having to drive an hour away—but nothing spectacular.
I can’t act like the prospect of actually dating someone—maybe even settling down—is starting to become more and more appealing. I want the lazy weekends in bed and maybe going to farmers’ markets. Movie dates. Simple but happy.
My relationship with my parents is complicated, but one thing is for sure—they have a love a lot like that, and it’s something I’ve always wanted for myself. Without the judgment and shaming of their only child, of course, but that’s neither here nor there.
I know it’s Levi right away when he walks through the door because I don’t recognize him, and he’s exactly how Janelle described him.
Thinner build and average height. Big, bright blue eyes and a face that, while it’s very handsome, also couldn’t be described as anything but just absolutely adorable.
He’s gorgeous, like Janelle stated, and when he sees me, his smile gets even bigger as he approaches. “Spencer?”
“Yes.” I stand up to greet him. He reaches his hand out for me, and I shake it. “Levi?”
He nods. “Yes.” His smile only grows wider as he looks me over. “Janelle was not kidding. You’re gorgeous.”
I feel my cheeks heat up at that—having been the ugly duckling all through school.
It’s still strange to me when anyone finds me attractive.
I clear my throat and drop his hand, motioning for him to join me at the table.
“Thank you. You too,” I say awkwardly as he also blushes and takes a seat across from mine.
To most people in town, I’m sure it just looks like two friends having dinner at the local restaurant.
But like I said, I don’t hide the fact that I’m gay, and they can assume whatever the hell they want.
Still, I can’t lie that I’m a little on edge, thinking about a parent from school walking in and seeing me on a date with a guy.
It’s a very real fear but one I haven’t had to face yet.
It’s a battle I may have to fight someday, but it won’t stop me from living my life.
We fall into easy small talk as we order and then eat.
It’s casual and familiar. I wouldn’t say there’s a romantic spark there at all, and I don’t think he’s feeling it either, but like Janelle said—toward the end of the date, I feel like I’ve made a new friend.
Levi is quirky and cute—very funny and loves flowers. I think most of our date has consisted of talking about flowers. Something I didn’t mind at all. We’re still enjoying our conversation when the door opens, and my heart jolts as Kade and Elijah walk through the door.
I let out an audible gasp, and Levi’s gaze travels toward the door, his eyes widening slightly. “You know him?”
I nod my head, turning away from the door and doing everything I can to make myself smaller so maybe they won’t notice. “One of my students.”
Levi nods his head. “Oh. Is this okay?” He motions between the two of us, and he must think I’m worried about a student seeing me out on a date. He may not be from here—but I’m sure he’s quickly learning the nuances of a small town like this one.
If only that’s what I was worried about. I’m still trying to find my voice as Kade and Elijah make their way over to our table at the same time the waitress brings the check and leaves it for me as I requested.
This for sure looks like a date—and it is. I shouldn’t be freaking out like I am. And the truth is if it were any other student and parent, I wouldn’t bat an eye. But I’m internally freaking out as Kade’s eyes land on the check.
I mean, he’s kind of an asshole if he’s assuming it’s a date just because I’m paying. But his eyes tell me that’s exactly what he’s thinking. And he doesn’t look pleased.
Well, fuck him and his judgment. I finally remember who the hell I am—an out and proud gay man—and raise my shoulders, smiling at Elijah but not looking at his father. “What brings you two here tonight?”
“Dad burned dinner,” Elijah says happily.
“It wasn’t that bad,” Kade grumbles.
“It was,” Elijah says, nodding his head at me like he needs me to believe him. It makes me smile. The kid is slowly starting to open up more and more in the classroom, and I’m delighted to see it’s carried on outside of school too.
“Well, it happens. I’ve burned spaghetti before.”
That makes Elijah giggle, and then his eyes move to Levi. “Is this your boyfriend?”
I stiffen at first. Levi for sure goes tense. But it’s Kade’s reaction—disgust or horror, I can’t tell—that pisses me off.
“Oh no. No,” Levi says. “We’re friends. Just friends,” he says, clearly trying to cover for me, but I give him a small smile and reach out to place my hand on his, squeezing it slightly to help him relax a little.
I appreciate him trying to help, but I don’t want to lie to Elijah or anyone, for that matter—no matter what his prick of a father thinks about it. “It’s our first date,” I say only to Elijah, and I swear I hear Kade gasp.
That’s right, fucker. Everything your asshole friends said about me in school was true.
I’m sure he’ll have a blast calling them up and rehashing their glory days making my life hell, but I don’t care. I remove my hand from Levi’s and focus on Elijah, who seems totally unbothered.
For that, I’m glad. Kids are kind of incredible.
Things that bother adults—things that shouldn’t bother them at all—don’t faze children.
If I was on a date with a woman, he probably would have reacted the same way.
“Dad, I’m hungry,” he complains to his father, and Kade seems a little dazed before he gives a clipped goodbye to Levi and me and lets Elijah pull him away.
I follow them with my eyes for a moment before I remember myself and look over at poor Levi, who looks a little shell-shocked. “Hey, it’s okay,” I say, hoping to reassure him. “I’m not in the closet or anything.”
He releases a relieved breath, and some of his color comes back to his face. “I’m sorry. I should have asked about that. I know it’s not really the same here as it was in Kansas City.”
He mentioned that’s where he grew up. I shake my head. “It’s not, but it’s getting a little better. Even if it wasn’t, I don’t think I could live my life closeted. I did enough of that.”
He nods his head knowingly. “So, they know you’re?—”
“Gay,” I supply my identity to him—smiling because he really is sweet and didn’t want to just assume.
“They know?”
I shrug and take a drink of my water. “Well, it wasn’t on my job application. I don’t bring it up, and neither do they. Except for Janelle. She knows and, as you can tell, is a little too supportive.”
He grins. “I’m glad. You deserve to live your life, no matter what.”
“Everyone does,” I agree.
He looks almost sheepish, though, and a little shy. “But this isn’t a love match, huh?”
I wince a little but smile at him. “I think we’d make great friends.”
He clutches his heart playfully. “Not the F word!” I laugh, and he drops his hand. “Kidding. I think we’d make great friends too.”
I pay, and then we walk outside. And the whole time, I feel like I have eyes on me—but I try to push away that feeling as I walk Levi to his car. He kisses me on the cheek, and we make a plan for another friend date very soon.
But when I go to my own car, I realize I left my keys somewhere inside the restaurant.
Honestly, fuck my life. I really don’t want to go back in there.