Chapter 8 #2
“I just… sorry, I just… um…” I laughed through the thick feeling in my throat. I was fully crying now, tears hot on my cheeks, and I shook my head, trying to push the feelings away. “Well, you know me. I just hit a tree.”
“Don’t say that,” she laughed. “I’m obligated to report it if you do.”
“I’m just—not used to—” I pulled into Daniela’s driveway, and I parked in front of her house—not a moment too soon, getting to wipe tears off my face. “Sorry. Jesus, this is really embarrassing. This isn’t what you need right now.”
“Hey. Easy. I just offloaded my shit on you, you have every right to do the same.”
I laughed, wiping my face again. “Sorry. It’s really not about you. I don’t even know why I’m crying. I just… it’s silly, I think.”
“If it makes you feel like that, it’s real, no matter what it is. It’s the feeling that’s real, isn’t it?”
I took a long, shaky breath, gripping the wheel tightly, and after a long pause, I nodded. “I… guess so. I think it’s just… well. I don’t want to be here whining about my ex.”
“Whine away,” she said. “Can’t be worse than sawing his dick off.”
I snorted. “Okay, point taken. I guess he just… he wouldn’t have apologized.” My voice fell off to something small and quiet, the words barely making it out, and she responded only just above a whisper.
“Ah. I think I get it.”
“I mean, I’m not perfect either, and I wasn’t—”
“Alyssa, you don’t need to defend him.”
“I wasn’t…” I frowned. I mean, I guess I was defending him.
She was quiet for a second before she said, “I’m glad you got away from that.”
It felt like something pierced through my chest, and I crumpled a little, still gripping my hands on the wheel. “I… was wondering earlier today if I made the right choice,” I said thinly. “It’s scary, you know? Getting up and running away from everything like that.”
“I get that,” she said softly. “But you have to choose to put yourself first, too, sometimes. Have to be willing to bump into people. Hurt them without trying to. Or else you’ll disappear.”
“Jade…”
I jumped when someone tapped on my window, and I swear to God, I backhanded the window the same way I had when it had been Jade’s face outside the window.
Thank Christ the window was shut this time.
The crack of my ring against the window still rang through the car, and Jade’s voice was concerned. “Alyssa?” she said. “Are you okay?”
“Sorry, just—” Daniela’s face outside the window, smiling confusedly at me. “I just got back, so I gotta go. But—um—thank you. A lot, actually. For texting. And calling. And talking. I gotta—”
“See you,” she laughed, and she hung up, sparing me the misery of trying to figure out how to end a conversation while my brain was in thirty places at once. I thanked her silently before I shut off the car, opening the door.
“Jesus, you scared me to death,” I said. “Why would you go around the car specifically to creep up on my window?”
She laughed. “Sorry. Were you talking to Jade?”
“Oh, um…” I blanked. I was a bad liar. I didn’t have a way out. “Yeah,” I said. “Yeah, we’ve actually kind of been making friends?”
She beamed. “No kidding? I knew you were a total sweetheart, but I hadn’t expected you to warm up even Jade so fast.”
“Well, let’s not say that,” I laughed awkwardly. “Friend is a big old word. But I think there’s something there.”
She smiled, but she didn’t quite look at me. “I’m glad,” she said. “Now, give me the zucchini so I can finish this damn food. I’m so hungry.”
“You’re always hungry. But! I present,” I said, pulling the zucchini from the bag on the passenger seat. “One zucchini. Because I’m a great friend.”
“Thank you kindly,” she said, taking the zucchini. “In return, I will give you dinner. Come join me in the kitchen?”
I joined her in the kitchen, where, just as I’d expected, it smelled divine. I sat at the table while she finished cooking, and I guess it was me not knowing how to mind my own business that had me saying, almost as soon as I sat down, “I met with Cat and Jade.”
“What—while you were out?” she said, looking back over her shoulder at me.
“It was explicitly what I went for. Jade met me at the party yesterday and gave me Cat’s number, I texted with her, Cat asked me to meet her, and she got Jade there too, and we all chatted.”
“Oh…” She gave me a wary look, and I decided to meet it head-on.
“They weren’t trying to align me against anybody or anything like that, I promise.”
She barked a laugh. “Okay,” she said. “Okay, touché, I guess that is what I was wondering.”
“Mostly we just chatted about life. It was fun. Cat’s really cool. And, um…” I clasped my hands together. “She thinks Jade has feelings for you.”
“What—she said that?” She put down her spoon, turning back to me and leaning over the table. I think she tried to seem like she didn’t care too much, and I think it didn’t work out. “Were you talking about me catching feelings?”
“No, no,” I laughed. “We were just talking about Jade’s relationships with everyone. And why Jade was particularly touchy about the topic of you. Cat thinks she’s sensitive because she has feelings for you, and honestly, I can kind of see it…”
She shook her head, looking at me incredulously, before she went back to the stove. “You just got here, and you’re trying to play matchmaker?”
That was ridiculous. I laughed. “Yeah,” I said.
“Honestly, yeah, kinda. I mean, you know I was rooting for you and Candle Girl! And I know this whole thing with her and Cat and Drew is messy, but… I don’t think anybody means badly by it,” I said, leaving out the part that maybe Drew did.
“Cat was the one who made sure Jade visited the party last night, because she wanted Jade to get her connections back, start moving past it all. And Jade wants Cat to be able to move on. I think everyone just wants to make things better.”
She laughed. “Okay, I mean… look, it’s a messy situation,” she said, keeping her back to me, hunching her shoulders a little. “But if you manage to get Jade to talk to me again, I’d be pretty stoked.”
“Yeah?” I sat up taller, my heart fluttering with excitement. “I could do that. Is she coming to the Sunday market?”
“Oh, you heard about that?” she said, and I shrugged.
“Charlie told me to come. It sounds fun.”
“I was planning on inviting you too. I think you’ll like it.
I just thought you might want a couple days to relax before getting invited to events,” she laughed, and her face fell.
“Jade’s always there, but… well, she hasn’t been since the whole thing went down.
I’ll have to find somewhere else to buy my candles now. ”
“So, I’ll convince her to go,” I said. “And if I can do that, then you’ll believe me that things can still work out with you two, right?”
She was quiet for a long time—just long enough for me to convince myself I said too much and to blush, regretting it—before she finally turned back and gave me a soft smile. “You’re too good for your own good,” she said. “You know you don’t have to do anything for me.”
“Trust me, I really want to.”
“If you can somehow fix things, I’ll keep cooking you things for life. Even if you shacked up with a guy I don’t like again, I’d still come around and bring you both food!”
I laughed. “It’s a deal,” I said. “I’ll make sure she’s at the market. Just promise you’ll be good with her when you see her there.”
She grinned. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”