Chapter 31 #3
She reached her hand up and brushed her thumb over my cheek, caressing me like I was precious.
“Don’t even have to ask,” she said, and she kissed me.
It was the most perfect, the most beautiful kiss, the kind that held me and felt solid and safe and real—that she was my shelter and that I was hers, and that she wanted me no matter how damaged and messy I was, and God only knew I was damaged and messy.
But there wasn’t an ounce of doubt in the way she kissed me, not a trace of anything other than wanting me, and of wanting us, and maybe I could let myself have it—let myself hold her and kiss her and be happy.
At least, until Cat screamed at us. I jerked back at the sound of Cat’s voice, and I turned on where she came around the corner, where I could see the edge of Jade’s car parked.
“Oh my god, you’re crushing the donuts!” she yelled, rolling like a storm in on the two of us and taking the bag away from Jade.
“Make out with her all you like, but put down the donuts first! Those are my specialty donuts!”
“Cat,” Jade sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “The donuts are fine. They’re on top.”
I stepped back just a bit to let her sign, laughing thickly at the scowl Cat gave her. “They’re not going to be if you keep jiggling them around and bashing it up!” She shook her head at me conspiratorially, like we were agreeing on how ridiculous Jade was.
“You know, maybe donuts weren’t the best choice to take on a thirteen-hour drive in the first place,” Jade said, and Cat pouted.
“Wow. I don’t get any gratitude.”
I laughed as I signed, “Thanks for the donuts, Cat,” and she gestured to me, still talking to Jade.
“See! Take a lesson from your girlfriend!”
“Ah,” I said, my face hot at the term—not like we’d actually talked about that—but Jade didn’t miss a beat, just glowing like it was the best thing she’d ever heard.
“She’s very kind. And I’m very not.”
“You little—come on, we’re checking the donuts and if they’re squished then you are buying us new ones,” she said, and I laughed with them as she pulled Jade away to the side, just as another figure joined us from around the house and I looked at where Daniela sidled up next to me, leaning against the car with a tired smile my way.
“Kindly, respectfully,” she said, “you look like shit. This place hasn’t been good to you, huh?”
“It… no,” I whispered, looking down. “I was just…”
Now that I was here, the knowledge of what I’d been about to do was so unbearable I couldn’t even say it. But she didn’t need me to. She just smiled at me and gave me a casual one-shoulder shrug. “Well, looks like I win the argument. You’re staying in Vermont.”
“Daniela, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have lied and hid things from you, I was just…”
“It’s okay. Honestly.” She put a hand on my shoulder, a soft, comforting touch.
“We’ve all been learning how to talk to one another.
God knows it’s not always easy. I didn’t mean to lose my temper on you, and I sure as hell wasn’t trying to send you away altogether.
I hope you know, even when I’m mad at you, I still love you and want you around.
So no more of this kind of thing, okay?”
I nodded, trying to speak—to say anything—but I was welling up so much, my face hot, that words were hard to come by. I managed to whisper, “Thank you,” and she grinned.
“Now I see why you were so intent on getting Jade to stick around. Just couldn’t bear to say goodbye to a girl with strong muscles, huh?”
“Oh, Jesus, it’s not like that.”
“And when you both disappeared for a bit at Gianni’s?”
I looked away, my face burning. “We made out against the wall.”
“Damn. That’s hot.”
She didn’t know the half of it. And she wasn’t going to. “You’re, um… you’re not mad about it?”
“I’ve moved on.” She shrugged. “I mean, already shot my shot. Already felt my disappointment and had my moment feeling dumb about it. You’re still both two of my very best friends, and I want you both to be happy.
And you sure as hell seem happy together.
And besides, I, uh…” She glanced over at where Jade and Cat were arguing over a donut, and she laughed once, nervously.
“Forget it. I’m happy, you know? I have the three of you. ”
I paused. “Wait, are you—”
“Exhausted? Absolutely. A road trip together was fun for the first six hours.”
“Daniela—”
“We should crash here tonight, get a hotel room unless you want to all crowd into this house, have those tamales and donuts.”
“Are you—”
“Nothing beats tamales and donuts as a combination.”
“Do you have a crush on Cat?”
“Shush. She’ll hear you.”
“What—no she won’t!”
“She’ll feel the vibrations! Jade will hear you! Shh.” She put a finger to my lips. “It’s just fun to hang out! And to cook together. And we kinda sorta had sex a little bit.”
“What?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“How do you have sex a little bit?”
She put her hands up. “We kept our clothes on. And we didn’t really talk about it. It kinda just happened.”
“Jesus. Okay.” I shook my head, still processing. Maybe I really couldn’t leave. There was no telling what these people would get up to if left unsupervised. “So you—”
“What are we talking about?” Cat’s voice said, and we both jolted back from one another as she inserted herself into the conversation, playfully scowling. “I don’t appreciate you two having secret conversations without me. Fill me in.”
Daniela was smooth, at least. “I was just saying we should book a hotel room together, crash for the night, and then head back to Vermont together. You’re here to help me bully Alyssa into coming back with us, right?”
Cat beamed, turning to me. “Oh, I love bullying my friends. So? You’re coming, right?”
They were even starting to match each other’s speech patterns. I wondered if they’d been that obvious for a bit now and I didn’t notice. Of course, apparently they didn’t notice either. Even when they kinda sorta had sex a little bit.
I could never leave these people unsupervised.
“Yeah,” I said. “It’s a plan.”
I looked past them, back at where Jade was leaning against my car, giving me that knowing smile, the one I wanted to see filling all my days.
“I’ll come home.”