Chapter 15
ALEX
DrunkenPoet: What if we meet and we don’t click in person? What if this is all just fantasy?
IndexEcho: Then we’ll have had something beautiful for however long it lasted. But I don’t think that’s going to happen.
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Believe it or not, Kincaid’s callous reminder that our arrangement was just physical and didn’t mean anything to him was welcome. If there was no chance at feelings—and he’d told me straight up there weren’t—then I needed to stop getting all gooey, let’s-make-dinner-for-the-guy over Judd Kincaid.
I made my way back to the apartment and found Tavo playing Grand Theft Auto on PlayStation.
Seeing him laughing and enjoying himself made me feel better about my abrupt departure from Kincaid’s house.
I’d vowed to protect Tavo, and that included well-meaning inquiries from the fire chief, even if they were just polite small talk.
And I hoped to hell it had only been a well-meaning inquiry because if Kincaid had used our closeness this evening to sniff around for information on Tavo for any other reason, I would lose my fucking mind.
“Hey, did you eat?” I asked as I set my keys and wallet on the table next to the door.
Tavo glanced at me over his shoulder before focusing back on the screen. “Yeah, Hot Pockets in the freezer. Some left if you want.”
I stared at the back of his head. “You live above a restaurant with fresh pizza and calzones, and you microwaved that shit? Are you… I can’t decide whether to throw you out right now or simply murder you in your sleep.”
He laughed. “No offense, Alex, but your prices aren’t as great as Beartooth Market’s BOGO deals.”
I moved to the fridge to pull out a pitcher of lemonade and pour myself a glass. “I’ve told you you can have whatever you want from Timber. Just tell them to put it on my tab.”
“And I told you thank you, but I’m only going to take you up on it from time to time. Not every day. Besides, I have money. I can pay for my own food and shit.”
I let it go. He was young, but he was still an adult. And he had a right to his pride, even if I did want to ease his burdens.
When he finished his current game and got up to stretch, I told him about the new barback I’d hired.
“Cute kid named Drew,” I said, wondering if Tavo would have any interest in meeting the guy.
“He’s new to Legacy. He and his mom moved here to take over his grandmother’s craft shop.
You know Dot’s Doodads across the square on Windwalker? That’s Drew’s grandma.”
“Yeah. Dot’s place is great if you have the patience to dig through stuff. Her grandson came here to help her, but he’s working for you instead?”
“Just nights when the craft store’s closed. But since he doesn’t know anyone and he’s around your age, I’d like you to meet him.”
Tavo shrugged. “Sure.”
“He does leather work. Belts and straps. Bridles and stuff. I thought I’d introduce him to Lennon, too, if he’s looking for anything like that.”
“Wonder if he knows about the farmer’s market. Could try and sell his stuff there.”
I eyed him. “Maybe you could drop by Dot’s tomorrow. Introduce yourself and tell him about the market.”
“Yeah, okay,” he said, nodding. It was one of the things I liked about Tavo.
His situation with the shitty judge hadn’t destroyed his general confidence and willingness to meet people.
I was sure it had done a number on his ability to trust potential romantic partners, but at least he was still able to make friends and live a fairly normal life here in Legacy.
After offering him a glass of lemonade, I sat down at the table and asked him how his day had gone.
“Mr. Peterson paid me to clean his woodshop. I ended up helping him haul some junk to the dump, too. He said I could come back to wash his truck tomorrow, and then his neighbor—Sanders, I think his name is—wants me to come to his place and help him move some furniture around. They’re paying me twenty bucks an hour, so I’ll take as much of that as they’re willing to give. ”
While I hated that he couldn’t have more as long as he was trying to lie low from the judge, I was impressed he’d gone out of his way to find paying work. Not that Tavo’s work ethic had ever been in doubt. Even when he was at Marian House, he’d made a point to contribute with hard work.
“Good. But block off a weekday soon so we can take Lennon up on his offer for fly fishing. You can’t spend time in Montana and not learn how to fish.”
After talking for a little while longer, I headed to the bathroom and stripped down to take a shower before bed. The hot water cascaded down my body, relaxing muscles that had been tense since leaving Kincaid’s place.
There’s a world of difference between being with someone to get off and being with someone you care about.
I closed my eyes and let the water pound on my shoulders and back.
If Kincaid was right, then what the hell was it like being with someone you cared about?
Because our encounter had been fucking incredible.
The memory of it made me hard again, which wasn’t difficult these days.
Lately, all I had to do was think of Judd Kincaid in his grumpy fire marshal mode, and my dick was on board.
I ached with the need to get close to someone, to have a true partner.
Someone who cared about me and whom I could confide in.
The pressure to succeed at Timber was immense, not because my family pressured me directly, but because I was very aware they were all watching. And I didn’t want to let them down.
I came from a family full of beautiful, successful people. And it was nearly impossible not to compare myself to everyone else.
But I also came from a family full of beautiful, successful relationships. And it was nearly impossible not to want that for myself.
Once I was showered and dressed in a pair of sweats, I slid into bed and video-dialed my dads.
As soon as Papa’s face came on the screen, I felt a familiar twinge of family and love. “My baby,” he said, eyes crinkling with a smile. “You’re damned near impossible to get a hold of these days. How are you?”
He was sitting at the desk in their bedroom with the dim but warm light of the bedside tables on and the usually neatly made bed a rumpled pile of sheets and blankets. In the background, I heard Dad shout, “Blue, dammit, this wet towel is disgusting! You’re a pig.”
Papa glanced over his shoulder. “Then based on what you did to me a little while ago, I’d say you’re playing fast and loose with bestiality. Get in here, Tristan. Our beloved youngest child is on the phone.”
“Gross,” I said. “Can you please save me from the sex talk?”
I saw Dad walk into the room, dressed in an old UC Davis T-shirt and pajama pants with border collies on them.
Papa had given him those pajama pants the Christmas after my childhood dog, Piper, had died, and it had made the entire family sob.
A few minutes later, when Papa had brought out the new puppy, Papa had sheepishly admitted his plan hadn’t been thought through very well.
Now, Lottie was curled up in the corner of their room on her cushy bed, only waiting for my parents to get into their bed before she’d inevitably jump up and wedge herself between them.
Dad leaned over Papa’s shoulder after dropping a casual kiss on his ear. “Hey, sweetheart. You’re a sight for sore eyes. How’s the restaurant? Ella says you’ve been slammed at work.”
I spent a little time catching them up on everything going on. They asked about Tavo, so I updated them on how well he was doing, too. Finally, I could tell Papa had something to say.
“Spit it out, Pop,” I urged.
“How’s your love life?”
Dad closed his eyes and sighed. “Blue, we talked about this.”
Papa waved his hand at Dad. “Hush. I’m talking to my son.”
Instead of being annoyed at Papa, Dad simply smiled and rolled his eyes before kissing the man again. On the cheek this time. Papa reached up and caressed Dad’s face. “You’re trying to distract me.”
“Is it working?” Dad asked, turning to wink at me.
“Not yet. But maybe after I’ve finished my interrogation.” He patted Dad’s cheek and turned back to me. “Answer the question.”
Between the two of them, Papa was known for being the nosy one.
The Marians were a nosy people. Well, to be fair, it was mostly my great-great-aunt, and then all of my aunts and uncles.
I would think it was a generation-skipping trait if my sisters hadn’t been just like our great-great-aunt Tilly. Nosy as fuck.
“I hooked up with a guy tonight, as a matter of fact,” I admitted. “But it’s not serious. He’s not relationship material.”
Papa’s eyes widened comically.
Dad moved around to kneel next to him at the desk, and this time, it was Dad who said, “Tell us everything. Who’s the guy?”
“Is he hot?” Papa added with a mischievous grin. Dad elbowed him.
“He’s hot,” I admitted. “But grumpy sometimes. Also an asshole sometimes. But yeah. Hot.”
Dad narrowed his eyes. “Don’t date an asshole, Alex. You deserve better than that.”
Papa nodded but didn’t pile on.
“He’s not that kind of asshole. He’s more of a stickler for rules, that kind of thing.”
Papa gasped. “You slept with the fire chief!”
My face flooded with heat, which was probably answer enough. “I didn’t sleep with him, Jesus.”
“He’s a hundred and fifty years old!” Papa said.
Dad shook his head. “Blue, take a breath and remember where you’re getting your information. Our oldest child takes after you.”
“What does that mean?” Papa asked.
“She’s a gasper,” Dad said, raising his eyebrows to make his point. “And prone to exaggeration.”
Papa gasped again. “He’s the chief of… of fire, or whatever. Those guys have to be over forty, if not fifty!”
“He’s forty,” I said. “And I’m twenty-seven. It’s hardly the kind of age gap people write salacious articles about. Besides, I told you we’re not dating.”
“No,” Papa said. “He’s only taking advantage of you for his nefarious purposes.”
“I would like for someone to take advantage of me for nefarious purposes!” I said, if only to get him back for referring to his own sex life with my dad. “Don’t make me regret telling you.”
They both stopped and looked a little chagrinned. “Fair,” Dad said. “But I thought that guy was your sworn enemy.”
“He is,” I admitted. Then I shrugged. “But he’s also sexy as fuck.”
Papa nodded knowingly. “Attracted to the bad boy. I can see it.”
I laughed, and it felt good. “He’s not a bad boy. He’s honestly just doing his job. And I agreed to all the inspections. I just…”
“What, sweetheart?” Dad asked.
“I’d like to find someone to go out with. Ever since I left, I’ve been putting so much time and effort into getting Timber up and running. Now it’s more steady, and I have a little bit of room to breathe. It’d be nice to find someone to spend time with outside of work.”
The two of them exchanged a knowing glance. “It’s about time,” Papa said. “You should let Ella set you up. She said there’s a very nice guy at work she’s been dying to introduce you to, and Hazel agrees he’s a good one. She apparently recruited him out of Silicon Valley.”
I thought about Judd, about watching him fall apart with my mouth wrapped around his cock, about the way he’d gently threaded his fingers through my hair and locked eyes with me.
About the way he’d grabbed me the minute I’d walked in his front door and kissed me for ages, until I was the one who took it a step further.
If he was only into me for a physical transaction, why did he go out of his way to meet me several times just for kissing? The man could have any number of people over for a quick fuck at the drop of a hat. Why me? Why be willing to take it slowly?
What if he cared about me for more than a physical transaction but was denying himself a relationship for some other reason?
I let out a laugh. Who the fuck was I kidding? These were the pathetic thoughts you had when you had feelings that weren’t reciprocated. These were the hoops you jumped through, wishing and hoping someone was into you when they’d made it very clear they weren’t.
“Yeah, okay. I’ll tell her she can set me up. That sounds like a good idea.”
When I got off the phone, I texted Ella. Then I fell asleep wondering if I needed to inform Kincaid that I was planning on going out with someone.
If you’re kissing me, you’re not kissing anyone else.
His rule had been clear. But who was to say my date would end in a kiss? It probably wouldn’t. Which meant maybe I could get away without telling the chief.
And maybe it would have gone down exactly like that… if Judd hadn’t shown up for another random fucking inspection right when I was supposed to leave for my date.