Chapter 23
Drake
I feel like a total asshole. I keep telling myself that it isn’t my fault, but it isn’t helping.
I need to talk to Amelia. To explain…what exactly? That I’m sorry her life has been turned upside down? That I wish things had gone differently?
None of it will change the outcome.
When I reach the door to her bungalow, I pause for a moment, my hand raised to knock.
Through the window, I can see movement inside – Amelia packing her belongings into a large duffel bag.
Even from here, I can see the slump in her shoulders, the way she moves slowly, like every action costs her something.
I knock twice, the sound sharp in the quiet evening.
The movement inside stops. For several long seconds, there’s nothing. Then footsteps approach, and the door swings open.
Amelia stands in the doorway, and the sight of her makes my chest tighten. Her eyes are red-rimmed, and her face is blotchy from crying. It’s completely out of character. Amelia doesn’t cry…not ever.
She’s changed out of her riding leathers into casual clothes, and her hair is pulled back in a messy ponytail.
“Hi,” she says, her voice hoarse.
“Can I come in?” I ask. “I need to talk to you.”
She studies my face for a moment, then steps back, pulling the door wider. “Sure. I’m glad you came.”
I step inside the small bungalow. It’s identical to all the others. Most of her belongings are already packed away. It’s not like we’ve been here that long. Although neither of us expected this to happen. I’m sure she had fully unpacked. That she was prepared to be here for a few months…or more.
“I wanted to check on you,” I tell her, closing the door behind me. “To see how you’re doing.”
Amelia chokes out a laugh and returns to her packing, folding a shirt.
“How do you think I’m doing?” She doesn’t look at me. “I just lost everything that mattered to me in the span of a few hours.”
I hate this.
I sigh, squeezing the back of my neck as I move further into the room, watching as she continues to pack with those same mechanical movements.
“I’m so sorry, Mels,” I say, and I mean it. “If I could change what happened, I would. You have to know that.”
“I know.” She pauses, her hands stilling on a pair of pants.
Her shoulders shake slightly, and I realize she’s trying not to cry again.
“I know it’s not your fault.” Her voice hitches.
She pauses for a good long while, gathering herself, and I leave her to do it.
“You didn’t choose this any more than I did.
” She finally turns to face me, and the pain in her eyes is almost unbearable to witness.
“But that doesn’t make it hurt any less. ” She bites on her lower lip.
I take a step closer. “You don’t have to leave. You know that, right? You can stay on as my secondary rider. You can keep your position as my PA. Nothing else has to change.”
Amelia shakes her head, fresh tears filling her eyes. “Everything has changed, Drake. Don’t you see that?” She wraps her arms around herself. “I can’t be someone’s second choice. I won’t be. I’m worth more than that.”
“You’re right,” I tell her. “You are worth more. You deserve to be someone’s primary rider. To have that connection, that partnership we had.” The past tense feels wrong, but it’s the truth now. “I hate that this happened to you…to us. We made a good team.”
She nods a few times. “We did.” Then she sniffs. “Do you really want me to stay? Or is part of you relieved I’m leaving?”
The question catches me off guard. I open my mouth to deny it, but she holds up a hand.
“Be honest with me, Drake. After everything we’ve been through together, I deserve that much.”
I pull in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Part of me is relieved,” I admit, and the confession sits wrong because I know it will hurt her.
“Not because I want you gone – I don’t. But because the friction between you and Harlow…
it would make everything more complicated.
More difficult for everyone involved.” I meet her gaze directly.
“But that doesn’t mean I want to lose you.
You’ve become more than just my dragon rider and PA over the years, Mels.
You’re my friend. A good friend. I hope you know that. ”
Something shifts in her expression. A flicker of pain mixed with something I can’t quite identify.
“I do know that,” she says. She moves to sit on the edge of her bed, and I take that as an invitation to sit in the desk chair. “That’s part of what makes this so hard.”
“I’ll make sure you’re taken care of,” I tell her, leaning forward with my elbows on my knees. “You’ll receive an excellent severance package. It will be enough to support yourself for a good long while. And I’ll write you a great letter of reference.”
“Thank you.” Her voice is soft, almost resigned. “That means a lot.” She looks down at her lap.
We sit in silence for a moment. Once again, I give her the space she needs. We’ve known each other long enough that we don’t feel the need to fill the silence.
“Do you remember,” Amelia says suddenly, her eyes fixed on her hands, “when we first bonded? Those early days?”
“Of course I remember.”
“Do you remember when I tried to kiss you?” She looks up at me now, her expression raw and vulnerable.
My jaw tightens. “Yes. I do.”
“You told me we couldn’t be together like that,” she continues, her voice gaining strength. “You said the dragon rider dynamic made it impossible. That we needed to maintain professional boundaries to work together effectively.”
I shift in the chair, discomfort crawling across my skin. “Amelia—”
“I accepted that,” she interrupts, standing up now.
She moves closer, stopping just a few feet away.
“I respected your decision. I didn’t like it, but I knew you were right.
I buried my feelings and focused on being the best rider I could be for you.
The best PA. The best partner.” Her hands clench at her sides.
“But now that partnership is gone. Now there’s nothing holding us back from—”
“Mels, don’t.” I stand up. “Please don’t do this.” I shake my head.
“Why not?” Her voice cracks. “Like you said, I don’t have to leave, Drake. I can stay. I want to stay. Not as your rider, or your PA. I need you to know how I feel. I need you to know that I’m in—”
“Stop!” The word comes out too sharp, but I can’t let her finish that sentence. “Please, just stop,” I whisper the last.
Her face crumples, but she presses on. “I do want to stay on Draig Island, Drake. I don’t want to leave.” She takes a breath, steadying herself. “I want more than that. I want to be with you. Really be with you. We could have something real. Something—”
“I don’t see you in that way.” The words feel cruel even as I say them, but she needs to hear the truth. “I’m sorry, Mels. I care about you deeply, but only as a friend. That’s all I’ve ever felt. That’s all I will ever feel.”
The silence that follows is deafening. Amelia stares at me, her eyes swimming with unshed tears. For a moment, I think she might argue, might try to convince me otherwise. But then her shoulders sag, and she nods slowly.
“I understand,” she whispers. “I guess…I guess I always knew, deep down. But I had to try. I had to know for sure. I would’ve had regrets, otherwise.”
Relief and guilt war in my chest. “You deserve someone who loves you the way you deserve to be loved. Someone who can give you everything you want and more. That person just isn’t me.”
She turns away. “I know. I just wish…I wish things could be different. That you could feel something more for me.”
I move closer, carefully, and place a gentle hand on her shoulder. She doesn’t pull away.
“I’m sorry I can’t be what you need.”
“Me, too.” She’s crying again now, tears streaking her face. “I know you can’t control your feelings any more than I can control mine.”
“They say that things happen for a reason. Perhaps this is ultimately for the best.”
She nods. “I think so, too. I can’t stay here knowing you’ll never—” Her voice breaks, and she can’t finish.
“I’m so sorry… I…”
“It’s all good.” She forces a smile. “I’ll be fine. I always land on my feet. This time will be no different.”
“I have no doubt about that. You’re one of the toughest people I know.” My throat tightens. “I can take you to the airport. Should I meet you here in an hour?”
Amelia shakes her head. “No. Please, no.” She turns to face me, her expression resolute despite the tears. “You’re a good man, Drake. One of the best I know. But leaving is hard enough without dragging it out.” She wipes at her face. “I’d rather say goodbye now. Get it over with.”
The finality in her voice makes my chest ache. This is it, then.
“If that’s what you want,” I say.
“It is.” She steps forward and pulls me into a hug. I wrap my arms around her, holding her close as she cries quietly against my chest. I can feel her tears soaking through my shirt.
I really fucking hate this.
“Thank you,” she whispers. “For everything. For being honest with me. For trying to make this easier, even though nothing about this is easy.”
“I’m going to miss you,” I tell her.
She pulls back, looking up at me with red-rimmed eyes. “Take care of yourself, Drake.”
“I will.”
“And, Drake?” She reaches up and touches my cheek gently. “I hope you find happiness. Keep pushing for change. I know that there are those on your Council who are opposed, but you need to keep fighting.”
“I will.” I smile.
Amelia steps back, putting distance between us. “Goodbye, Drake.”
“Goodbye, Mels.”
I turn and walk to the door. When I reach it, I pause and look back. Amelia has already turned away, resuming her packing. Her shoulders are hunched.
I know deep down that she’ll be just fine, even if she doesn’t think so right now.
I want to say something more, to offer some comfort, but I know there’s nothing I can say that will make this better. So, I slip out the door and walk away.
Harlow