Chapter 23 #2
The canteen is quieter than usual tonight. Most of the Tributes who didn’t bond are preparing to leave for the airport. The air smells of grilled fish.
I sit at a table near the windows with Georgia and Dani, trying to enjoy my meal. I’m nervous about my first lesson as a rider tomorrow. My stomach is all tied up.
“I can’t believe we’re actually doing this,” Georgia says quietly, staring down at her untouched food. “Tomorrow, I have to learn to ride a dragon. An actual freaking dragon.”
“At least Smoke seems nice,” Dani offers. “That’s something, right?”
“I guess,” Georgia says. “I’m just so scared I’m going to fall off or mess everything up.”
“You won’t mess everything up,” I tell her, trying to sound more confident than I feel. “Besides, if anyone is going to fall, it will be me. Let’s face it. Having said that, I doubt we’ll actually have to ride a dragon tomorrow. On our very first day. Surely something like that would take time?”
“I suppose you’re right,” Georgia says as she stabs at a piece of fish with her fork.
“I’m praying you’re right. I don’t want to go anywhere near a dragon. I don’t even know the one I bonded with. Hammer. What kind of name is that? He isn’t very nice as a human. He didn’t seem too impressed with me.” Dani says.
I reach over and squeeze her hand. “He’ll come around.”
“We’ll have to see,” Dani replies, but her voice is tight. “I’m not too sure I’ll come around. I guess we have to try to make the most of it. Apparently, Becca mind-bonded with a she-dragon.”
“That’s interesting,” Jordyn says, putting some food in her mouth. “Where is she?”
I shrug. “Not sure. Probably saying her goodbyes.”
We fall into silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I look through the window and note that the sky looks pretty as the sun sets over the jungle. There are worse places I could be right now.
“Did you get to call home like the rest of us?” Georgia asks me.
I nod, not trusting my voice for a moment. “Yeah. I did.”
“And?” Dani leans forward. “How did it go?”
Before I can answer, movement near the entrance catches my eye. My heart sinks.
Amelia stands in the doorway, scanning the room. Her auburn hair is pulled back, and even from here, I can see that her eyes are red and puffy. She looks nothing like the confident, hostile woman who confronted me on several occasions.
What does she want?
Our eyes meet across the room, and she starts walking toward our table.
“Oh, no,” I huff under my breath, preparing for a fight.
“What?” Dani follows my gaze. “Who’s that?”
“That’s Amelia,” I say. “Drake’s…former primary rider.”
Georgia’s eyes widen. “Ohhhhh,” she drags the word out, looking away.
Everyone suddenly gets really busy eating their food.
Amelia reaches our table and stops, her hands clasped in front of her. Up close, I can see just how much today has taken from her.
“Sorry to interrupt. Um…Harlow,” she says, and her voice is softer than I’ve ever heard it. “Can I speak with you outside? It won’t take long.” She gestures to the door with her thumb.
The request is polite, and it is so different from every other interaction we’ve had that I’m immediately suspicious. But there’s something in her expression that makes me relax…somewhat.
“Um, sure,” I say, setting down my fork. I glance at my friends. “I’ll be right back.”
Georgia and Dani exchange worried looks but don’t say anything.
Jordyn has her eyebrows up so high that on any other occasion, it would have been comical.
I follow Amelia outside. She walks a few steps away from the building before turning to face me. She looks…terrible. There are dark circles under her eyes, and her face looks drawn.
“I wanted to—” I start, but she holds up a hand.
“Please let me go first,” she says, her voice tight. “I need to say this before I lose my nerve.”
I nod, crossing my arms as I wait.
“I’m sorry,” Amelia says, and the words sound like they cost her something. “For how I treated you. For being hostile and calling you names. For making assumptions about you without actually knowing you.” She takes a breath. “You didn’t deserve any of that.”
This is the last thing I expected. My skepticism must show on my face because she lets out a nervous laugh.
“I know. I was awful to you. But I want you to understand why.” She looks down at her hands.
“I was scared. Scared of losing everything I’d worked for.
Scared of being replaced. And when people are scared, they lash out.
” She meets my eyes. “That’s what I did.
I lashed out at you when really, you were just as much a victim in this as I was. ”
“I appreciate you saying that,” I tell her carefully. “And I’m sorry too. I never meant for any of this to happen. I hate that—”
“I know. Believe me, I do. I don’t blame you.
” Amelia shakes her head. “It happened. It’s done.
There’s nothing any of us can do to change things now.
” She pulls in a deep breath. “Look, we got off on the wrong foot. I was super protective of Drake – maybe too protective. It was concern and nothing more. You shouldn’t take it personally.
I have nothing against you, Harlow. I wanted you to know that before I left Draig Island.
It’s something I needed to get off my chest.”
I study her face, looking for any sign of insincerity, but all I see is exhaustion and resignation.
“Okay,” I say. “Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to come and see me.”
“I also came to give you a few pointers,” Amelia continues. “It isn’t easy learning the ropes. There are a few things I wish I knew. I want to convey those to you.”
Okay, wow. This really is the last thing I expected. The skepticism must still show on my face because she gives me a sad smile.
“I know what you’re thinking. That I’m up to something. That this is some kind of trick.” She shakes her head. “It’s not. I want to see Drake succeed. I want the very best for him. That means your bond needs to work. He needs a strong rider to keep his position on the Council.”
This angle makes sense. I can understand wanting the best for someone you care about, and it’s clear to me that Amelia cares deeply for Drake.
“I plan on giving this my all,” I tell her. “I’m not going to half-ass it. So yes, I’m all ears about any tips and pointers you can give me.”
Something that might be relief crosses Amelia’s face. She glances around, then gestures toward a nearby bench partially hidden by flowering bushes. We sit, and for a moment, she just stares at the final moments of the sunset.
“Riding a dragon is unlike anything else in the world,” she finally says. “The first few times will be terrifying. Your instinct will be to tense up, to grip too tight, to try to control everything. But that’s exactly what you shouldn’t do.”
I nod, listening intently.
“You need to learn to move with him,” Amelia continues.
“Feel his movements before they happen. Anticipate the shifts in his body, the beat of his wings, the way he banks. It’s like dancing, in a way.
You have to trust him completely…and you can.
It won’t be like it was with me that last…
that last time.” Her voice wavers with emotion. She sniffs.
“How do I do that when I’m scared out of my mind?” I ask.
“Practice,” Amelia says simply. “Lots of practice. Start with short flights, close to the ground. Build up your confidence gradually. Fear will weaken your bond. It will make it hard to communicate with Drake effectively. You need to clear your head…use the breathing techniques you already started learning at the Academy. Meditate before a flight. Do whatever it takes to clear your head.”
“What about the mind-bond itself?” I ask. “How do I strengthen it?”
Amelia’s expression grows more serious. “You can’t.
” She shrugs. “It’s not something you can force.
It will naturally happen as you get to know one another.
Encourage Drake to be in his dragon form often.
Your mind-bond will only work and improve when he is a dragon.
It disappears completely when he is in human form. ”
“I didn’t know that…but it makes sense.” I nod.
“Oh, and,” Amelia says, “as you know, when Drake shifts, his human consciousness doesn’t disappear entirely, but it takes a backseat to his dragon’s instincts. The stronger your bond, the more you can help ground him. Help him stay connected to his humanity, even in dragon form.”
“How?”
“Talk to him. Remind him who he is. When his dragon gets too aggressive or wild, project calm. Project certainty. Show him images of his human life, his responsibilities, the people who matter to him.” She pauses.
“It sounds simple, but it takes practice. Don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t work right away.
You will struggle at first. It will fatigue you.
Get plenty of rest. It is better to practice in two short sessions than to push for a longer one. ”
We sit in silence for a moment.
“There’s one more thing,” Amelia says, and something in her tone makes me turn to look at her. She’s staring at her hands again, her jaw working like she’s forcing herself to say something difficult. “Something I need to warn you about.”
“Okay,” I say slowly.
She looks up at me, and there’s pain in her eyes. “Don’t make the same mistake I did.”
“Which is?”
“Falling in love with Drake.”
I knew it.
My mouth opens, then closes. I don’t know what to say.
“I fell in love with him almost right at the start,” Amelia continues, her voice thick with emotion. “And it was a mistake. If there was one thing I could do differently, it would be not to go there. Not to let my feelings become more than they should have been.”
“I’m not—” I start to say.
“I’ve seen the way you look at him when you think no one’s watching,” she says gently. “I know that look. I wore it myself for three years.”
Heat floods my cheeks. Have I been that obvious?