Chapter 23 #3
“You need to understand that Drake is focused on his career,” Amelia says. “He’s worked hard to get where he is, and he won’t let anything jeopardize his position or get in the way of his role on the Council. He can’t afford to.”
I swallow hard.
“Did something happen between you two?” I ask, even though I shouldn’t. It isn’t any of my business.
Amelia is quiet for so long, I think she’s not going to answer. Then she nods once, her eyes distant.
“We had a brief sexual affair when I first became his rider,” she admits, and each word sounds like it’s being pulled from her chest. “It was intense. Passionate. I thought… I…I guess I thought it meant something. That maybe it was the start of something real. It was, to me.”
My stomach clenches, though I have no right to feel jealous. Drake and I are nothing. We’re barely even friends.
“Drake ended it after a short while,” Amelia continues.
“He said it was complicating things. Making it harder for us to work together effectively. He never made any promises or acted like it was more than what it was: a fling. But by then, the damage was done. I was already in love with him. He warned me, and I fell for him anyway, like a fool.”
She rubs her eyes, and I see tears there despite her attempts to hold them back.
“I probably should have found a way to leave long ago,” she says. “But I held on. I kept hoping that eventually, things would change. That he’d realize he had feelings for me, too. But it never happened. And now I know it never would have, particularly now that he’s a Council member.”
“I’m sorry you had such a hard time,” I say, meaning it.
“It won’t be long before he’ll be expected to take a mate,” Amelia says, her voice becoming firmer, like she’s steadied herself. “A she-dragon mate. It would be frowned upon, certainly bad for his career, if he started messing around with his rider. His human rider.”
“That makes sense.”
“You don’t want to be me, Harlow. Being me sucks. Being in love with someone who will never love you back sucks.”
“I really appreciate your honesty here. I can’t tell you how much.
Do I think Drake is attractive? Hell yes.
I’d be blind if I said otherwise. I’m not in love with him, though, Amelia.
I’m not even sure I like him. It’s clear he doesn’t like me at all.
Thank you for your advice, but I don’t think it’s applicable to us. ”
She throws out a humorless laugh. “You’re wrong there.
I’ve seen Drake checking you out. He’s a man with needs.
Actually, scratch that; he’s a shifter. Shifters have a higher sex drive than humans…
trust me on that one.” She widens her eyes.
“I think he’s just as attracted to you. I think that’s part of why I was so annoyed.
I could see it all over him. His dragon…
Never mind. I know what I’m talking about here.
You seem like a nice person. Not someone who messes around.
You’ll fall, and you’ll fall hard. Once the hook-up has run its course, Drake will move on, and you’ll be a mess.
You’ll still have to see him day in and day out.
Take it or leave it, but my advice is to stay well away.
Don’t let yourself fall for him the way I did. It will only end in pain.”
“I won’t. I swear. I’m not in a good place right now.
The last thing I want, or need, is love.
In fact, I don’t want anything to do with men…
or shifters, for that matter. You see, I called home today.
As it turns out, the guy I thought was my boyfriend is now seeing my best friend.
I’ve only been gone a few months, and he moved on.
Not just with anyone, but the one person I see as a sister.
I’m hurt. I’m not interested in men at all.
” I shake my head. “Not in any capacity. I appreciate the advice. I will keep it in mind, but that’s not where my head is at. ”
She stands then, brushing off her jeans.
“Good. I’m glad to hear that. I wish you all the best, Harlow. I really do. Be good to him. Be good to his dragon. And please, please, be smart about protecting yourself.” She’s walking backward, the night already swallowing her.
Before I can respond, she turns away, her figure disappearing.
“You too,” I shout after her.
I sit there for several long minutes, my mind racing.
Finally, I force myself to stand and head back into the canteen.
I slide back into my seat at the table, and immediately, both Georgia and Dani look up at me with concerned expressions.
“Everything okay?” Jordyn asks.
“Fine,” I say, picking up my fork, even though my appetite has completely vanished. The fish on my plate has gone cold. “She just wanted to say goodbye and give me some pointers. That’s all.”
“Pointers?” Dani frowns. “About what?”
“Riding dragons. Strengthening the mind-bond. That kind of thing.” I shrug, trying to appear casual. “Nothing earth-shattering.”
Georgia exchanges a look with Dani, and I can tell that neither of them believes me.
“You were out there for a while,” Georgia says, frowning. “Are you sure that’s all it was?”
“She was a little rude to me when we first met and…she was rude to me on several occasions.” I force a smile.
“More than warranted and without provocation… I do understand why that is. Anyway, she wanted to apologize once she’d had a chance to cool down.
She wanted to leave on a clean slate. That’s all. ” I shrug.
“That’s good. Big of her to do the right thing,” Dani says.
“Aside from that, she just gave me pointers. Such as staying calm and using the breathing exercises we learned at the Academy…that sort of thing.”
“Yeah, nothing earth-shattering is right.” Georgia smiles.
“I’m glad it wasn’t anything serious.” Jordyn lifts her brows.
“Me too.” I yawn. “I’m so tired, guys. Today really took it out of me. Those goodbyes also took their toll.”
“I know what you mean,” Jordyn says. “I’m not even close with most of the Tributes, but it was sad.”
“I’m going to miss Carla,” Dani says.
“Me too,” I say, yawning again. “I think I’m going to head back to my bungalow,” I announce, standing up even though my plate is still half full. “I need to get some sleep before training starts tomorrow.”
“Do you want company?” Jordyn offers. “I could walk with you.”
I know that Jordyn will drill me for more information, but I don’t feel like talking about it now. Not any of it.
“I’m okay. Really.” I force another smile. “I’ll see you guys in the morning.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jordyn asks, narrowing her eyes.
“Absolutely. I’ll catch you all bright and early in the classroom,” I say.
“Hopefully, we’ll stay there,” Dani says.
“We’ll have to wait and see,” I tell them. “Goodnight.”
They all answer me back.
Then I grab my tray, dump it at the collection station, and walk out into the warm evening air.
I appreciate Amelia’s concern, but she was wrong. Soooo very wrong.
I won’t make the same mistake she did. So what if Drake’s seriously hot? It won’t sway me. I plan on keeping things professional and maintaining my distance. I’m pretty sure that Drake will be just as standoffish as always, which will help me keep my distance.
Weirdly, I feel oddly disappointed in him. I didn’t think he was a player. Amelia made him out to be one.
I’m really sorry that happened to Amelia, but I’m not her.
I will never make such a stupid mistake. And that’s final.