Chapter 15
The cold didn’t bother me anymore.
When I sought out the king’s hand, I did so for the sake of necessity, but I never expected him to need me the most. Our days blurred together, complete with chilly meals and conversations that would last for hours.
He was right about the weather. The waves of snow became shorter and the cold less intense as the days turned into weeks. His laughter could clear the clouds, and his smile could summon an aurora borealis when the moon was high. Bit by bit, I could see the shattered parts of him coming together.
The only thing that I wished would stay frozen was time.
There was no denying the poison now. Despite my efforts to hide from blackwood, I could sense the early symptoms taking root in my blood.
The exposure I’d endured in the palace had already sealed my fate.
My feet were growing stiffer, and I had to keep my gloves on at all times to hide my darkening fingernails from the king.
The last royal who saw me wither left me behind, after all...
Sleep became difficult as my legs grew more and more uncomfortable. I slid out of my bed one night, tugging a warm pelt over my shoulders as I wandered around my room. One step at a time, I walked and walked. My socks stuck to the ice occasionally, but I was still mobile for now.
I stopped by the crystal-clear window, the glass so terribly fragile. Fragile like the heart of a king, the frame of a mirror…or the health of a princess.
My fingertips touched the glass, but I couldn’t feel the cold.
The time I’d spent with Cassian had been invaluable. The people shouldn’t be suffering as badly as they had before with the winter being calmer. I was doing exactly what I set out to do, but I still had the same amount of time as I did in my last life.
But this time, I’ll be a better queen with the life I’m given. All I have to do now is get the citizens to accept their king again.
I pulled away from the window, the tiny mark just barely noticeable. Cassian would probably complain about it in the morning, but I noticed that he rarely cleaned up after the marks I left anymore.
I was about to crawl back in bed and give sleep another try when something caught my eye out the window. I turned back to the glass, my eyes narrowing at the soft orange glow that was radiating from the side of the mountain.
A fire? This high up?
It was too far to see anything specific, but the longer I looked, the more fires I spotted clustered in the same area. Whoever was out camping, they sure had a lot of friends.
Or an army...
“Cassian?” I barely whispered his name. My hands trembled as I hurried to put on my gloves. “Cassian, are you awake?”
“Safara?” His voice echoed behind me, and my nerves eased when I saw his face appear in the glowing wall. “I’m here, is something the matter?”
“That was fast,” I breathed, trying to casually stuff my other hand in its glove before he could get a better look. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“I don’t sleep,” he said, and my heart tightened as I imagined how lonely that must have made his nights. “I heard you call out to me. Has something happened?”
I really hoped not.
“There’s firelight on the mountain,” I said, pointing toward the lightly smudged window. “I wasn’t sure if you’d seen it yet, but it looks like a great deal of people are coming up the mountain.”
He moved toward the window, not even commenting on the smudge as he turned his back to me to gaze through the clear ice.
“Wait here,” he said, with a brief glance back at me. “I’m going to see if they left any ice uncovered that I can take a peek through. I’ll only be a moment.”
I nodded, clutching my stiff hands together as I waited impatiently in the cold, dark room. The glow in the walls seemed to fade when he left, and the fur pelt did little to ease my shivering.
This was wrong. No one had ever dared to climb the snow king’s mountain in my last life. But then again...the winter hadn’t been this tame before. The lack of storms would make the journey far more feasible.
Cassian appeared a moment later, the entire room lighting up a touch with his entrance. His body language had changed, the sharp lines of his posture more defined again.
“Well?” I asked, biting the edge of my lip.
“I couldn’t see much, but it appears to be a group of soldiers,” he explained, his tone rigid. “I’d imagine they’re coming for you.”
“Huh? Me?” I felt my shivering increase. “That can’t be right. I told the entire council that I was leaving Blamore of my own accord.”
“Well, they certainly aren’t coming for me,” Cassian said, his shoulders tense. “They’ve never bothered to seek me out before. Why come now?”
Because he’s vulnerable...
I didn’t like this. My breaths came short, the air puffing around my lips enough for me to realize that the room had gotten significantly colder. He was right: they were coming here because of me. My company made Cassian less of a threat.
For the first time in weeks, I thought of the two matches I had left.
“Goodness, you’re shaking terribly, Safara.” Cassian’s image moved to the wall beside my bed, his hands stretching out like he wanted to help, but pausing when they met the ice. He tightened his jaw, then waved his hand to bring the basket of folded furs closer to me. “Here, please warm yourself.”
“Th-thank you, Cassian,” I shivered, pulling another fur onto my lap. “I-I’m sorry. You’re right, I must have brought them here.”
“Don’t apologize,” he said gently, his voice caressing me when his hands couldn’t. “I can tell this wasn’t what you wanted.”
“Not unless they’re on their way to pledge their undying loyalty to you,” I said, burying myself under another layer of pelts. “So long as Averglas is under Blamore’s control, I want nothing to do with it.”
Cassian was quiet for a moment, his thoughts loud as the room swirled with delicate spirals of snow.
“What did he really do to you?” Cassian asked, his image shifting to the headboard like he was sitting beside me on the bed. I wished he actually was. I’d died alone before, and while I knew I wasn’t alone, my fingers were still terribly cold.
“Something even worse than what he did to you,” I said, the image of my last match burning in my memories.
Cassian sucked in a breath, and I found myself wondering if we even shared the same air.
His image moved from the bed frame, gliding across the wall until he was staring back out of the window.
The snow flurries had gotten more intense within the room, and even the frozen curtains started to flutter like the window was open and letting in a storm.
“Then I’ll bury them,” he said, his voice truly cold.
“What?” I gasped.
“I’ll bury the soldiers in an avalanche.” He turned back to face me, entirely serious. “I won’t let them take you back to Blamore.”
“Cassian, calm down.” I climbed out from under the pelts, pattering across the floor until I was beside him. “We don’t even know if that’s why they’re coming.”
“There’s no good explanation for why they would,” he said, his cape whipping behind him like a thrashing serpent’s tail. I’d never seen him look so angry before. “You ran from Blamore for a reason, so I won’t let him drag you back.”
“But what will the citizens think if you hurt their soldiers?” I asked, my hand trembling as I reached out to press it against the wall. “They’ll see you as the monster Blamore is painting you to be.”
He didn’t reply, his back turned to me as he continued to stare at the burning snow. I kept my hand pressed against the ice, begging him to sense my touch as his heart grew colder.
“Cassian,” I whispered his name, just as I’d done when I’d called upon him. “Don’t hurt them. Let me go instead.”
That got his attention. He turned around, all the snow freezing in midair as if time itself had stopped moving. “What?”
“Let me go to the soldiers,” I repeated. “You asked me to prove myself as a future queen by winning back the hearts of your people. This is my chance to do just that. I can talk to them and explain that you’re not dangerous.”
“S-Safara, that’s crazy.” He shook his head fiercely, but the stutter in his voice told me that he knew it was needed. “If they get their hands on you, they might take you back to Blamore.”
“It’s less crazy than burying them all in an avalanche,” I said. “I’m still a princess. They can’t just abduct me without consequences. Give me a chance to advocate for you, please.”
He didn’t like it, which was made obvious by the tiny icicles growing out of the walls like a roomy iron maiden. He let out a deep breath, pressing a thumb to his forehead until the icicles melted back into the wall and the interior snowing ceased.
“Okay,” he grumbled. “But only if you wait until they’ve moved further up the mountain. The journey is too far right now, and I’d rather them be worn out from travel than you.” He looked past me, his tight jaw loosening. “And you have to take Douglas as backup.”
“Deal,” I laughed, the sound forming puffs of condensation in the air. “I hope I can prove to you that I’ll be a good queen.”
Or at least a better queen than before.
“You’re already good, Safara,” he said, his eyes lingering on me with a longing that seemed to reflect endlessly in the ice. “I just hope that I’ll have a kingdom to make you a queen of some day.”
A single snowflake fell on my cheek, the tiny brush of cold sending a ripple through my skin as I imagined Cassian’s touch in it.
Would he really make me his queen after this?
My heart pounded at the thought, but the fear of falling in love again kept it at bay. I wished to become a better queen, not a long ruling one; getting too attached to Cassian would only hurt us both.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to ensure you’re not left alone again,” I promised.