Chapter 9
brAND
Lydia is curled up on the couch in my cabin, her feet tucked up under her, the thickest quilt I have in the place wrapped around her. I've got a fire going and I'm making us lunch as I look over at her.
"So is this my reward?" Her voice is teasing, but I can hear the tiredness in it. "A homemade lunch from the grinchiest man on the mountain?"
"Your reward is that I didn't make you navigate your way here all by yourself." I ladle the hot soup into bowls and then cut a thick slice of bread for each of us. I carry the food out into the living room and wait until she lifts her feet up so I can sit beside her.
"It smells really good." She takes a tentative spoonful and tastes the broth, eyes lighting up at the flavor. "Tastes even better."
"Good. Glad you like it."
She leans into me with her shoulder. "You're a nice man, you know. I've decided. This whole hot grumpy thing is an act." She takes a bite of the bread, eyes closing in delight.
"It's absolutely not an act." She peeks at me, her cheeks flaring bright red when I add, "Though I appreciate that you think I'm hot."
"I didn't say you were hot."
"Actually, that's exactly what you said."
She rolls her eyes. "Fine. You're hot. It's not like it's some kind of secret."
"I'm glad we're being honest."
She gives me a serious look and it's so hard to stop myself from reaching for her. "Since we're being honest, why are you here? Like, really here?"
"I told you. It's a nice, quiet place." I can tell she doubts me by the way she tips her head to the side, her gaze locked on mine.
She's pushing for more, that stubborn streak I'd been warned about on full display.
"And I'd lost a lot of people. Whether during deployment or fighting fires, every single one of them felt like my fault.
I wanted to leave it all behind and found this property.
The first day I was here, it seemed that I could finally breathe again. So I stayed."
She doesn't say anything, and I'm not sure what I expect. When she sets her food down on the coffee table, I'm surprised. Ever more surprised when she turns and opens her arms wide.
"What's this?" I'm not sure what she's offering, or maybe, I'm afraid of what she's offering. And how much I want it.
"I owe you a hug. A few, in fact."
I shake my head. "You don't owe me anything, Lydia."
"Will you let me just give you a hug?" She leans close, a beaming smile on her face, and actually bats her eyelashes at me.
It's startling enough that it draws a laugh, shocking the both of us.
"Well, look at that, I just made the burly mountain man laugh.
I bet nobody would've thought that was even possible. "
The energy around us is comfortable, but there's also a tension simmering beneath it all. Pulling us closer and closer together.
"I'll let you hug me if you answer one of my questions honestly."
"Is this like truth or dare?" She shakes her head at me when I start to answer. "Fine. Ask away."
I take a deep breath, because I'm afraid that this will scare her away. But we're here and I need to know what she's really thinking. "Do you actually want to be a volunteer firefighter?"
Hurt flashes across her face and there's a part of me that wishes I could take the words back. But I have to know.
Lydia looks away and I don't miss the way a tear slips from the corner of her eye before she swipes it away.
This time I'm the one opening my arms for her and she hesitates for only a moment before crawling into my lap, letting me hold her. We're silent together, her catching her breath while I just appreciate the feel of her.
Her head is tucked under my chin, and I'm stroking the silky strands of her hair, until she finally answers my question.
"No. I don't."