Chapter 10
LYDIA
Saying the words is terrifying. It's like admitting that everything I've been focusing on means nothing. Recruiting new volunteers, researching requirements, preparing the training program so it could be submitted on time.
None of that changes the truth of it all.
But Brand doesn't act surprised or ask me why I've wasted my time doing all this if I'm not going to see it through.
"Feel better?" That's his only question when I finally find the courage to look up at him. There's a softness in his eyes, and my stomach flips again as it fully hits me how close we are.
I attempt a laugh, but it sounds weak. "Yeah. Actually I do."
"Good." His grip on me tightens, and heat shoots through me when he presses a sweet kiss to my forehead. "So what do you want to do?"
In his arms, it feels safe to be even more honest. "Right after my dad died, I got laid off from work.
The new budget had come out, and they didn't have enough to keep all the Case Managers in the office.
At the time, it was just easier to leave my apartment, the work I didn't have anymore, and come back up here. There was plenty to do at his house."
"A good distraction." His words aren't judgmental, just statements of fact.
"But the problem is, if I don't take over the leadership of the department, there's no one else willing to do it. The department closes, the county shuts down the holiday events, and my dad's legacy is lost. It doesn't matter that I don't want to do it. I have to do it."
"No you don't." When I shake my head, he cradles my jaw in his large hand and lifts my chin until I meet his eyes. "I'll do it. For now, at least. Call me the Interim Chief or whatever title you need to use."
His offer makes my heart skip, but I can't expect him to take this on when I know it reminds him of such painful moments in his life.
"You don't have to do that for me."
His grip on my chin doesn't change, but his thumb skates softly over the skin just below my lip.
"I want to do this. Yes, for you, but also, for me.
I've been running from this for a long time.
I need the change, to face what I'm afraid of.
There will always be fires to fight, dangerous situations, but I'll know that the people who are part of our department will have the best training. "
He's so intent, so serious, I don't bother to argue or press him further.
"Thank you." My gratitude is sincere, heart deep, and I wrap my arms around his neck. The hug I give him doesn't feel awkward or strange. In fact, it's the most comfortable I've been in a very long time.
He groans and I shift, worried I'm hurting him, then realize there's a hard bulge beneath my hip.
A very large, very hard bulge that makes my body go hot all the way through.