Chapter A Few Weeks After Halloween #6
“Indi,” he called after me. I tried to ignore him, too raw and emotional.
I reached for the handle and opened the door.
His hand appeared as he forced the door shut.
He then whipped my body around and slammed me against it.
“Don’t you dare question how I feel about you,” he snarled.
“Don’t you ever say that!” His temper both startled me and made me a bit excited.
“The only reason I’m even on the run is because I care for you.
Because I’m so helplessly and selfishly in fucking love with you!
” His hands slammed against the car window on either side of me, making me jump.
Rain drops fell from his face onto mine as he spoke.
“I don’t want to leave you, Indi. If I could, I would spend every minute of every fucking day with you.
But I can’t,” he groaned. “And while you’re living your life in the light, I’m hiding away in the shadows, doing everything I can to make sure you are safe. ”
“How can you protect me and keep me safe if you’re gone?” I hissed.
He leaned in closer. “Did you really think I would just walk away and leave you alone?” He scoffed.
“I watch you every single fucking day, making sure no one even so much as fucking looks at you. Doing all I can to keep you safe, because you’re mine, Indi.
” I stared up at him. “You say I don’t love you, but I risk getting caught every day to just catch even a glimpse of you.
I can’t live without you. You are my only reason for existing, Indi.
Without you, I have nothing.” He tugged at my lower lip with his thumb. “You are my everything, little sis.”
My heart nearly stopped, and I had to remember to breathe…to remember why I was even upset.
I cleared my throat. “If that’s true, then you would’ve seen a long time ago just how miserable my life really is.” I swatted his hand away and stepped forward. “You think I like my life? Being stuck in that shitty little apartment with Mary-Jane?” I scoffed. “I fucking hate it, Haze!”
His jaw tightened. “Then leave.”
“I can’t! Not only am I broke, thanks to her.
But no one will rent to me! And do you know why?
” He didn’t answer. “Because we share the same last name, Haze! Osvaldo. Haze and Indi Osvaldo. You think people don’t see that and immediately think of you?
Just because they don’t know about us, doesn’t mean they don’t know about you and what you did.
Everyone knows what you did, Haze. And because of it, no one will hire me.
No one will rent to me. And no one will acknowledge me.
” Thunder rolled in the air as the rain began to pick up.
My brother eyed me closely, hiding his pain. “I didn’t realize how hard I’d made your life.”
I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or sarcastic, but either way, it annoyed me.
“It’s not even that! I–I can’t even talk to you!
What happened to the phone you were texting me on?
Huh? You never replied to any of my texts, and now, I can’t text you at all!
I can’t even talk to you! Do you know how hard that is?
To just–just break down and completely confess my darkest desires, giving myself to you entirely, and then you leave! You left me!”
Haze looked away. “Well, now you know how it feels.” Thunder rolled again.
I raised my brow and scoffed. “Fuck you.” I roughly pushed him away and walked back towards the front of the car, grabbing my dress from the hood. “I’m so fucking done with this! I can’t keep living this way!”
“What do you want from me, Indi?” He followed, shouting and arguing. “You want us to go back to our old lives, pretending like nothing happened? We can’t just go back to the way things were! We can’t run away together! No matter where we go, the police will be looking for me! It’s not safe!”
I spun around to face him. “Ahh! You still don’t fucking get it, do you? You can run and hide from the world, Haze, but you can’t hide from me!”
Lightning flickered above as thunder followed.
The two of us stood there, both completely wrecked and fucked, two souls begging to stay together in such impossible situations.
It was torture, knowing my words were hurting him, but what I had said was true.
I wanted him more than anything, but I couldn’t live like this anymore. It was too painful.
Fog clouded my face as I breathed. Tears ran down my face with the rain and I crumbled.
“I can’t do this anymore, Haze. I can’t keep pretending I’m okay, because I’m not!
I don’t want to live another day without you!
I want you in my life. I need you! You think you’re protecting me, keeping me safe by staying away?
You’re only making it worse! A piece of me dies inside every day that I have to live without you! ”
“Indi—” Haze stepped closer, reaching out for me.
I shook my head. “No. No!” I pushed him back.
“I spent years trying to pretend—to hide away my feelings, thinking I was nothing but a fucking mistake. I pushed that darkness so far down, it nearly killed me. I can’t go back to that…
I can’t live that way again! You don’t know the pain I felt, how much it tortured me to try to live that lie! ”
“You think I don’t know? Fuck, Indi, I spent those same years pretending to feel nothing!
That I was just your brother and didn’t have any kind of desire for you.
You think that was easy? It was fucking torture!
All I ever wanted…all I ever fucking wanted…
was you! All I dreamt about—all I thought about, every minute of every day, was you!
It killed me living that way! And now, I’m stuck hiding away, once again watching you from a distance.
Only this time, I‘ve had a fucking taste.” He stepped even closer, making my heart race.
“And I’m stuck, savoring that taste every fucking day, knowing I’m never going to have it again.
” Haze touched my face. “I know your pain, Indi. I’ve lived it for years.
All I have ever wanted was you, little sis.
” His jaw clenched. “So don’t say I don’t care, because I care more than you can fucking imagine. ”
My eyes blinked as the rain poured from the night sky. “You’re going to be the death of me, Haze.”
He grinned and tipped my chin before kissing me. “Not if you kill me first.” He kissed me again, with such raw passion. “I’m going to see what I can do about the phone, okay? I can’t have you sitting around worrying about me, as much as I may enjoy it.”
My eyes lit up at the hopeful idea. “What about Mary-Jane?” I asked. “What am I supposed to do about her? I can’t keep living like this…I can’t.”
He smiled. “You won’t. I’ll take care of her.
But first—” Haze spun me around and pressed my body against the hood of the car, bending me over.
His hand grazed my thighs and I let out a moan.
“Let me take care of you. I can’t have you going back in such a sour mood now, can I?
” He moved my hair aside. “I thought I saw this earlier during our little session.” His fingers grazed the tattoo along the back of my neck.
He kissed the inked letters and ran his tongue along them.
“Do you like it?” I asked.
He unzipped his jeans and leaned closer. “You tell me, little sis.” And before I knew it, he pushed inside me.