Chapter 24
Luca
“What are you doing here?” Jannis furrows his brow critically.
“I live here.”
“Oh, really? Is that still the case?” Yes, it’s still the case, but admittedly I’ve been home very little these past couple of weeks. I love my big family, but I also love the peace and intimacy we have at Noah’s apartment. And Noah feels safer there.
By now, he even walks out of the bathroom shirtless and changes in front of me. I love how he lowers his gaze and smiles shyly when he notices I’m looking at him.
“Do you miss me?” The question was meant half in jest, but Jannis’s look leaves no doubt that he’d like to have me home more often.
“I’d love to go mountain biking with you again. Paps’s gotten slow, and Dayyan… I love him, a lot, I really do, but sports aren’t his thing.”
“Have you told Paps that to his face yet?” I lean against my doorframe, grinning.
“Wanna take a ride now? Just a quick lap. To the castle, or up to the Horn.” I look at the clock quickly and realize that I have still time, but it’s going to be a tight fit.
Noah is coming over this afternoon. His parents called out of the blue yesterday, and no matter how many times he said no, his mother wouldn’t let it go.
So this morning he got into the car, pale as a ghost, to drive the forty miles to his family’s place.
Maybe it’s not such a bad idea to get out and get some exercise. Otherwise, I just worry nonstop.
“You’re really serious about Noah.” This isn’t the first time we’ve talked about this, and somehow it annoys me that Jannis has to keep emphasizing it like that.
“Jannis, what’s your problem? Why do you keep asking that?”
“When you first told me about him, I immediately had a picture in my head, then I met him at that university party, and he has nothing that used to be important to you in a man. Or in a woman. I just want to understand, and I’m afraid you’ll hurt him. Not on purpose, just out of carelessness.”
“What do you mean?”
“Sometimes I get the feeling Noah is just waiting for the moment when you realize he’s not enough. When you let him go, and something tells me that wouldn’t go down well.”
What does he mean? What did I miss? Jannis can read people like no one else, and if he’s saying something like this, there’s something to it. It’s just that I can’t put my finger on what. Immediately, I get defensive and I say the first thing that pops into my head.
“That won’t happen.”
Great answer, Luca, respect.
Jannis looks at me with a challenging gaze, just as I usually look at him. “And why are you so sure about that?”
I know why, but I’m not ready to say the words yet. Words that feel so huge to me because I didn’t hear them once in the first twelve years of my life. “Noah is different. My feelings are different.”
“Tell him that, not me.” Everything in my stomach tightens.
***
Damn it, Jannis and I were gone longer than planned.
The weather was gorgeous, the view fantastic, and somehow we lost track of time.
Two hours ago, Noah texted that he was leaving his parents’ place, which means he’s been at our house for about an hour.
As we ride through our gate, I see that Noah’s Twingo is already parked in front of the garage.
“Oh, he’s already here. You think he’s okay in there?”
“No idea, depends on who’s keeping him company.”
Papa would be cool, Dayyan too, and while I love Paps, I’d still prefer the other two.
Neither of us expected the scene that greets us. Noah is sitting at the dining table with Firas and Nael, playing Ludo.
“Where’s Dayyan?” Jannis’s computer voice booms from his phone, and all three of them startle.
“Since when can’t that thing say ‘hello’ anymore?” I give Jannis a loving nudge in the side, and he just rolls his eyes.
“Firas kicked him out in front of the house twice in a row, so he didn’t want to play anymore.
” Nael grins from ear to ear, and the corners of Jannis’s mouth twitch too.
After Papa, Dayyan seriously is the most laid-back guy I know, but when it comes to Ludo, he takes no prisoners. He’s like that with any game we play.
Noah’s gaze shifts nervously back and forth between the boys and me. He’s just about to stand up when Firas protests in French. “Wait! We’re not done here yet! I’m winning, you can’t leave now.”
He looks at me uncertainly. “Is that okay if we finish the game?”
Why am I still standing so far away? Why haven’t I properly said hello to Noah yet? In a few steps, I’m where I belong, with Noah, and I kiss him long and passionately.
“Ugh, you two are just as gross as Dayyan and him.” Disgusted, Nael grimaces and nods toward Jannis.
“Then I’d better go upstairs to be gross.” Laughing, my brother slips his phone into his pants pocket and disappears toward the stairs.
Actually, everyone is laughing—everyone except Noah, who hasn’t understood a thing and hunches his shoulders. Fuck, we’re speaking German.
I quickly translate for him, and immediately the little crease between his eyebrows disappears.
The three of them are going at it hard, taking every opportunity to kick each other out without mercy. The curses grow louder and more intense, and Noah takes a deep breath as Nael kicks him out two steps away from the house.
In the end, Firas actually wins, but the other two are good sports, and Noah has to promise to come back and, above all, to play with the twins again.
“I’m sorry I was late.”
“It’s okay. They took good care of me. They’re great kids, I get why you do everything for them.” They really are, and I make a mental note to buy them some Kinder chocolate. “Where were you?”
“Mountain biking with Jannis. He asked, and I didn’t want to say no because I’m home so little these days.”
“Would you like to be here more?” Noah stares uncertainly at his feet.
“Hey, look at me.” I step right up close to him. “I want to be with you, no matter where that is even if it’s the North Pole or the Sahara desert.”
I want to kiss him, but he pushes me away. “The only place you should be right now is in the shower.”
He tries to hold back a grin with all the strength he can muster. “What are you trying to tell me, mon Papillon?”
“You stink, Chéri.” You usually can’t smell yourself, but I can tell he’s right.
“Are you coming with me? Into the shower?” Noah shakes his head firmly, but I’m not going to let him get away that easily. I try my sweetest puppy-dog eyes and pout my lower lip.
“Forget it, that doesn’t work on me.”
“Don’t you like water?”
Noah looks up at me, confused.
“Why in the world would you ask me that?”
“We’ve seen each other naked before, more than once.” I firmly reach between his legs and elicit a loud moan. “That can’t be the reason. What are you afraid of?”
Noah’s head falls back as I massage his cock. “I… Fuck… I have no idea.”
“I have no idea either. Come with me.”