Chapter 18 Adam
EIGHTEEN
ADAM
Ryan insisted on picking Adam up from his hotel.
Even though he was retired, being the captain’s husband had its perks, and they got to park in player parking, entering the arena through a private entrance, where Ryan clearly knew everyone.
Even though Jackson was the outgoing one of the two of them, in a one-on-one conversation, Ryan did fine.
He was kind and engaging, and the passion he shared with his husband for making sure that call-ups always felt welcome translated easily to welcoming a call-up’s boyfriend.
“I usually have standard tickets in the lower bowl, but I thought for your first game, it would be fun to sit on the glass,” Ryan explained.
Warm-ups hadn’t happened yet, but Grace had made sure he knew that they’d be able to go down to the ice before the game started and see everyone skating around.
Of course, she wanted photos. It sounded cute, and from the concourse, Adam could see that there were already groups of people crowded around the glass.
“Let’s get some food,” Ryan said, leading Adam over to a concession stand where they got hot dogs and beer. Later, Ryan promised popcorn and insisted that they would eat minidonuts.
As a bartender, even though he kept to himself, Adam didn’t have trouble carrying on a conversation with someone.
He learned about Ryan’s upbringing in Wisconsin, about all the hockey he played there, about how his best friend still played in Washington.
He and Jackson lived in Minnesota year-round.
Ryan got excited when he learned Adam was from Minnesota originally, and Adam told him about where he went to high school, the grocery store he worked at, and the car he drove.
He even joked about the first hockey player he dated, and how it ended badly.
Ryan was perceptive and understood that what he was saying wasn’t a joke. He said he couldn’t vouch for the goodness of hockey players in general, but he could vouch for Skylar. There were one or two good ones out there. Jackson, for example, was a perfect angel—not that he was biased.
It was refreshing to be around someone so crushingly in love with his partner. It was hard not to imagine this kind of future for him and Skylar, now that he was up here in a hockey rink, specifically to see a man he was starting something real with.
Warm-ups were weirdly cute. It was a mixture of players legitimately warming up—their legs, their arms, sticks, stretching, passing, scoring, saving—and also interacting with fans by shooting pucks at the plexi, tossing pucks to fans wearing their jerseys, and reading the signs.
“I didn’t realize warm-ups were such a production,” Adam said as loud music blasted through the arena, giving energy to the players on the ice.
“So much of the energy that a player can put forth on the ice is directly from the crowd,” Ryan said.
“Back when we were playing hockey in 2020 with no crowds, it was hard to find the motivation to even get on the ice, let alone play a full sixty. Sure, the players are warming up now, but the fans are too.”
They ate their hot dogs, and even though Ryan wasn’t wearing any merch and was trying to be as incognito as possible, several people recognized him. He said it happened every game, and he always brought a permanent marker with him just in case anyone wanted an autograph.
There was even a teenager with a Cosgrove jersey on with the numbers taped over in rainbow tape.
The kid had a queer haircut with a faded dye job and wrists filled with colorful bracelets.
In that moment, Adam realized that just by existing openly, Ryan and Jackson were changing the lives of so many kids.
Adam could imagine a different life for himself where he didn’t feel ostracized by the jocks and like he had to choose between being gay and playing a sport.
Not that he’d thought he would ever make it to the pros, but he might have been able to enjoy it as a teenager, instead of retreating to the art rooms or hiding his nose in a book.
The game got started between the Northern Lights and the New Jersey Ruby Reds, and Ryan pointed out Skylar and Jackson on the bench across the ice from them.
They were good seats. He pointed out Walker, who had also recently been called up, Riker who had been up for most of the season, and Brandon, Skylar’s former roommate, whose boyfriend was sitting with the other players’ partners.
There was a lot of stopping and starting, and Adam finally admitted he had a hard time following the game.
“Have you never watched one before?”
“I usually watch with my niece. She’s the real fan.”
“I got you,” Ryan said, not hesitating to explain what was happening on the ice without condescension.
What was good, what was bad, pointing out any opportunity he saw to compliment Skylar.
He made heart eyes at his husband as he skated past, and Jackson tapped the butt end of his stick into the plexi right in front of Ryan during a stoppage in play. Adam’s heart melted.
There was a scrum between the two teams, and the referees took their time assessing penalties, so Adam took the opportunity to ask Ryan more about being queer in the NHL.
“I can’t stop thinking about that kid who had your jersey and the rainbow numbers on the back,” Adam said.
Ryan’s stony face broke into a smile as his eyes followed Jackson skating little circles near where the referees were discussing the play they called down, just in case he needed to advocate for his guys.
“As much as I love playing hockey, kids like that wearing a gay hockey sweater to a game is my biggest life accomplishment,” Ryan said.
“When I was a teenager, I couldn’t imagine wearing rainbow anything, let alone a jersey of a player who was out publicly.
If I wore rainbows, I’d get the shit beat out of me. ”
Adam hmmed and nodded. They were similar in age. Ryan remembered the same homophobia that Adam went through in high school. “What made you come out?”
“Jack,” Ryan said. “Not by his request. He didn’t make me.
He didn’t force me, but he was out already, and at some point, we stopped hiding it.
We didn’t do many interviews or sound bites about our relationship until after we got married.
There was an article in People magazine that was embarrassing for me, but Jackson got it framed and put it in the basement.
“Of course, there are plenty of hockey fans who don’t care for loud queers. ‘I’m fine with your lifestyle, but you don’t need to shove it in our face,’” Ryan said. Adam laughed. He’d heard that one before about a thousand times.
“Personally, I think it’s pretty important to shove it in their faces,” Ryan said.
“I think one thing that’s been important in my retirement is to figure out how I can continue to be a role model and continue to make change in hockey.
Jackson and I started a charity to advocate for queer hockey players.
Celebrate queer kids, make space in the game for them.
We’re getting it up and running and want to build a little every year. ”
“That sounds so cool,” Adam said. He didn’t care about hockey for himself, but God, he loved the idea of changing the game for kids nowadays.
“I have this vision of taking it league-wide, having a chapter in every hockey city, making sure that queer players and queer people who come to games know they’re safe.”
Play had started again, and Adam hadn’t even noticed until someone got crunched into the boards right in front of them.
“I shouldn’t be distracting you. You need to pay attention when you’re watching a hockey game,” Ryan reminded. Adam refocused on the game.
During intermission they got popcorn and refilled their drinks.
Halfway through the game, Adam realized it had been a long time since he’d made a new queer friend who was under fifty-five.
Ryan found the edges of how comfortable Adam felt about being teased and asked questions about Heathens, which Skylar had already told them a lot about.
Ryan was a night owl, and Adam knew Skylar was too, so he said Skylar sometimes found him late at night to talk his ear off. Adam laughed. “Yeah, he’s a talker.”
“I know all about that. I married one,” Ryan said, with that soft thinking about Jackson Harper smile on his face.
The minidonuts that Ryan insisted on were melt-in-your-mouth perfection straight out of a county fair, and Skylar ended the game with one assist and Jackson with two.
After they let fans clear out, Ryan showed Adam to the family room, where partners and kids could wait for players after the game.
Adam got to meet Brandon’s boyfriend, Gabe, briefly and shook a lot of hands of a lot of pretty blonde women while kids played mini sticks at one end of the room, waiting for their dads to get done.
Adam had seen Skylar after games before, but never right after. He was still damp from the shower, red from exertion, and beautiful as always as he scooped Adam into his arms.
“Thank you so much for coming,” he said into Adam’s neck. All Adam could do was cling to him. “Was Ryan nice to you?” he asked, shooting a joking glance over to Ryan, who had his arms full of hockey player.
“Ryan was great.”
“Are you ready to get out of here?” Skylar asked.
Adam nodded and said goodbye to Jackson and Ryan, thanked Ryan for the game, and followed Skylar back to his SUV.
“How much convincing would you need to take a bath with me?” Skylar asked as they got back to their hotel room.
He was in his game day suit, looking cleaned up and handsome, his shaggy hair still damp.
Earlier, Adam had seen how many DMs Skylar got on Instagram.
He said he didn’t answer them, and Adam believed him, but he still felt insecure. Skylar was out of his league.
But Skylar was presently taking his clothes off in order to get naked with Adam.
“Not much convincing at all.”