Chapter 9
Now that Kelsey and Jonny were happily married and busy with their new lives in Walden, the four of them didn’t get together all that often anymore. As the months passed, Martin began to feel more and more like the odd one out. Unlike the others, his life was still in Cleveland.
And, since he’d come to the conclusion that he wouldn’t be able to give it up, he sometimes felt like he was an unwelcome reminder to the way things used to be.
How could it not? His days were filled with things they’d all given up. Even Beth, who was struggling with her pregnancy and her future, didn’t always act all that interested in hearing about his work, the Browns, or some of the new restaurants in town.
He understood that they had adopted a different life and were happy, but a part of him wished that at least one of them had made the same choice that he had.
He missed them.
He’d missed them so much, he’d reached out to each of them individually and asked if they could get together the next time he came into town. To his relief, they’d all seemed eager to spend some time together—just the four of them.
Even better, Kelsey had suggested that they meet at Green’s Farm Kitchen instead of at their grandparents’ house.
Martin loved Mommi and Dawdi, but no one felt like they could be completely honest when they joined them.
No one wanted to hurt their feelings by admitting that they missed Chinese takeout, watching hours of mindless TV, or listening to music.
Plus, when it was just the four of them having supper, it brought back a lot of good memories.
The four of them had supper on their own more times than he could count when they were in their teens.
Whichever parent they were staying with would have plans that “couldn’t be broken.
” Next thing they knew, they’d be making their own supper and eating together.
Sure, that dinner alone hadn’t always been a happy occasion. But, more often than not, one of them would make a point to make the others laugh.
Because he was the only one still driving a vehicle, Martin had picked everyone up. He was glad he had, too. He’d been able to spend a few precious minutes with Kelsey before they picked up Jonny and Beth. She might be married and an adult, but old habits died hard.
With her sitting next to him, he had to admit that both Amish life and marriage seemed to suit her well.
“You keep looking at me and smiling, bruder,” she teased. “What’s wrong? Do I have something on my cheek?”
“Of course not.”
“Hmm.”
Not wanting to voice his thoughts, Martin pretended to concentrate on the road.
The truth was, she actually had nothing on her cheek.
Not a bit of makeup. Not that she’d ever worn much makeup—not that he was aware of, anyway, but sometimes, seeing the way her bare skin glowed caught him off guard.
That, and the fact that she was wearing a kapp and was so much more contained than she’d ever been as a teenager. She looked adorable.
“Martin, talk to me,” she said after he’d studied her a moment too long at a stoplight. “Why do you keep staring at me?” Looking more worried, she fussed with the pins on her dress. “Do I look silly?”
“Of course not. You look perfect. It’s just . . . well, I was just thinking about how happy you look.”
“Oh. Well, I am happy.”
“I’m glad.”
She didn’t return his smile. “Are you happy, Martin?”
“Yes.” He was happy enough. Sometimes.
She frowned. “You don’t sound so positive about that.”
“Well, I am. And look. We’re at Jonny’s place.”
He and Treva had gotten married right away but had elected to stay on her family’s farm. Treva’s coffee shop was on the property, so she needed to live nearby. Jonny had seemed happy to be there as well.
Though Martin had asked his younger brother if he felt it was wise to start out a marriage while being surrounded by Treva’s family, Jonny had said he was good with it.
To everyone’s surprise, their father had pushed for that option, too.
He’d pointed out that while Jonny might be managing a business and happily married, he was also very young.
With that in mind, Treva’s father had cleaned out the back of the barn and accepted everyone’s help to make it a comfortable and private first home for Treva and Jonny.
They seemed happy there.
Parking the car out front, he turned to Kelsey. “I’ll be right back.”
“I can go get him, Martin.”
“You stay here where it’s warm. I’ll be right back.”
“Martin, don’t be so stubborn.”
Ignoring her, because they might be adults but he was still her big brother, he repeated, “I’ll be right back.”
Just as he started to go around to the side, where they’d installed a door so the newlyweds wouldn’t have to go through the barn first, Jonny stepped outside.
“Hey, Martin,” he called out as he strode forward. “It’s been too long.”
“It sure has.” Martin hugged him. “It’s good to see you.” Jonny looked great, too. Ever since he’d started eating differently and taking better care of himself, he seemed to ooze vitality. Of course, it could just be that he was so happy with Treva.
“It’s good to see you, too. Thanks for the lift.”
“You know you don’t have to thank me for that.”
Jonny shrugged. “Still, I’m grateful. I’m also happy that you reached out to all of us about getting together.”
“I’m glad everyone could make it. It’s hard to find a time when everyone is free. Especially when I don’t stay in Walden very long.”
“I hear you. But maybe there’s hope that you’ll be driving down more often. After all, I heard that you’ve made time to see Patti.”
“Not as much as I’d like.”
“You’ve been busy.”
“Yeah, work’s been crazy.” That was his excuse, but it was also the fact that he couldn’t seem to know what to do with the rest of his life.
Jonny gave him a long look but only opened the door to the back seat and got in.
They didn’t speak about anything much until they got Beth in the car. Of course, picking her up meant that all four of them had needed to go inside the farmhouse and visit with their grandparents for a few minutes.
To his amusement, when all four of them returned to his vehicle, they rearranged themselves. Once again Beth was riding sidekick, and Jonny and Kelsey were in the back seat.
“Look at us, together again,” he said.
“I’m not sure what made you press for this dinner date, but I’m glad you did, Martin,” Beth said. “I’ve needed this.”
“I didn’t want to let another month go by without catching up in person.”
“We’ve all said the same thing,” Jonny said.
Martin concentrated on driving as the rest of them talked about their grandparents, Mom and Dad, Richard, and Treva. When they arrived at the Green, it was thankfully uncrowded. “Can we get a table near the back?” he asked the hostess.
“Sure.” She walked them over, shared the soup specials, and then left them alone.
Jonny scanned the menu, seemed to make up his mind first, and leaned back in his chair. One by one, his sisters did the same.
Then Martin realized they were all staring at him.
“What?”
“You know what. What is going on with you?” Jonny pressed. “What are you and Patti going to do?”
Martin had really hoped they could focus on Beth, at least at first. “Nothing like diving into the hard stuff.”
Beth rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. Of course you knew we were going to ask about your plans with Patti. It’s not like we could ask her.”
“I know.” He sighed. “And to answer your question, I don’t know what we’re going to do. The two of us have kind of come to a standstill.”
“I think you know what you want,” Kelsey said softly.
Feeling a bit blindsided, he stared at her. “Why do you say that?”
“Because if you wanted to be Amish, quit your job, and move here and marry Patti, you would’ve already done so,” she said with a satisfied smile. “That would have been the easy choice.”
He was annoyed that his little sister was acting as if the problems he was grappling with for the last year could have been avoided. “Nothing about any of that would have been easy for me.”
“Sorry for sounding so flippant,” Kelsey said. “You’re right. Choosing to become Amish for the rest of my life wasn’t easy at all. But then again, I didn’t have a great job and a full life already. You do.”
“It’s not just about my job,” he countered.
“Of course it isn’t,” Kelsey agreed. “I’m sure you’ve got a lot of things to consider. I just think that you and Patti would be so good together.”
“Wow, Kels.”
Beth groaned. “Kelsey, stop talking like you could run the world.”
Kelsey frowned. “I didn’t say I did.”
“Sorry, but Bethy’s right,” Jonny said. “You’re kind of acting like you have all the answers.”
“I am not. And come on, everyone. Stop acting so shocked. I know that everything I just said couldn’t have come as a surprise. We’ve all expressed the same thoughts. Martin doesn’t want to become Amish like the rest of us.
“Is this true?” Martin stared at the three of them. “You all feel like I’ve made up my mind, but I don’t want to formally make a decision because then I’ll be forced to accept that I’m not going to be like the three of you?”
“We haven’t said that in so many words,” Beth said.
Stung, he turned to her. “I can’t believe that you, of all people, are talking about my choices.”
“Me, of all people?” Beth’s expression pinched. Lowering her voice, she said, “That’s pretty low, Martin.”
“Come on. My words might not be pleasant to hear, but they can’t come as a surprise.”
“You are wrong. They do.”
“Beth, pull those rose-colored glasses off your eyes and look at the room. The four of us have been through so much. Did you really think none of us would ever ask you about your baby’s father . . . or why you don’t want to have any sort of relationship with him?”
Beth turned to their sister and brother. “Do you two really have a dying need to know about my one-night stand?”
“I absolutely never want to hear about it,” Jonny said. “Like . . . never ever.”
When Kelsey looked away in embarrassment, Beth swallowed. “I see.”
“You don’t,” Kelsey blurted. “Martin shouldn’t have said that to you. Your private life is none of our business.”
“Kelsey’s right, Martin,” Jonny chimed in. “You have gone too far.”
Martin felt like he’d been punched in the gut.
As the other three people at his table remained silent and the uncomfortable feeling grew, he started to get the feeling that he’d been reading everything all wrong.
“What am I missing? Have you all been talking about this without me? Am I thinking that this man is Beth’s big secret, but it’s really not a secret at all? ”
“You are being ridiculous. I have not been talking about him with anyone.”
“You haven’t?”
“Of course not.”
Jonny cleared his throat. “Bethy, don’t you think it’s time you did? I mean, I don’t need to hear about any details . . . but shouldn’t you at least be able to tell us this guy’s name?”
“Why?”
“Because he’s your baby’s father,” Jonny bit out.
“It’s none of your business, Jonny. I can’t believe you’re acting as if you have a right to know.”
“You’re acting as if no one else is ever going to ask you about him,” Jonny said.
“If someone is rude enough to ask, I’ll tell them the same thing.”
Looking pained, Kelsey said, “I’m sorry, Beth, but I am worried that you think you will never have to talk to this man. Or that it will never come up in conversation with your child.”
“This baby is going to be fine.”
“I don’t doubt it. But every child wants to have both a mother and a father. It’s human nature.”
And just like that, their sister’s bluster vanished and in its place was a vacant stare. “I have told the father about the baby. He doesn’t want anything to do with it.”
“Did he sign away the rights?” Martin asked. “Did you get a lawyer yet?”
“No.”
Jonny frowned. “Beth, that isn’t good enough. You need to do that.”
“Don’t worry about it, Jonny.”
“Don’t brush me off like I’m just a kid. This is important.” He waved a hand. “I mean, what are you going to do when it’s born?”
“When my boy or girl is born, you mean?”
“You know what I meant.”
“The answer is obvious, don’t you think? I’ll be a mother.”
Martin could practically feel the tension emanating from Beth. He felt terrible that they were making her feel uncomfortable, but he couldn’t deny that everything they were discussing was important. “What about the birth certificate?”
“We’re speaking in circles. Obviously, the baby’s last name will be Schrock.”
“The father might want the baby to have his name,” Jonny said. “Even if you two aren’t married or even have a relationship.”
“I know he won’t. As hard as it might be for you to get your head around, I made a big mistake and am paying for it. But I’ve almost made peace with it. Which is more than I can say about any of you.”
Kelsey looked like she was about to burst into tears. “All right, Beth. I’m sorry we pushed.”
“I can take it,” Beth said. “Look, I know my life is in disarray. I know I have a lot of things to figure out, too. But I’m dealing with them. I think you need to deal with you and Patti, too, Martin.”
“Whatever we decide is between Patti and me.”
When Kelsey frowned at her clenched hands, Martin felt like leaving. He didn’t want to hurt his little sister’s feelings, but he needed some privacy, too. “Sorry,” he muttered. “I didn’t mean to snap.”
“All any of us wants to do is help you,” Jonny said.
Beth nodded. “At the very least, listen.”
“Then I guess you and I are in the same place, Bethy,” he said. “Both of us are facing situations that we didn’t see coming and are going to have to deal with on our own. It’s not easy and it’s not fun. But there’s also very little else that anyone can do.”
The four of them stared at each other in dismay. Each of them looking more devastated than the last.
“Are you ready for me to take your order now?” the server asked.
“Not yet,” Kelsey said. “I think we’re going to need a little bit more time.”
When the server moved away, Jonny started laughing. “You are absolutely right, Kels. If there’s anything all of us needs, it’s a little bit more time.”
Feeling sheepish, Martin completely agreed.