Chapter 10
Preacher Richard’s sermon and stories about Jonah had been inspiring. The Gingerich’s barn was roomy and bright, and they were blessed with a quiet, cool breeze from the open barn doors. Altogether, Patti decided that it had been an exceptionally comfortable three-hour service.
All in all, Patti believed that it had been one of the nicest Sundays she’d experienced in several weeks. Maybe it was because the Gingerich family were such organized and relaxed hosts. That wasn’t always the case.
If Martha Gingerich brought out a couple of jars of her delicious pickles, everything would be perfect. Martha was known for her way with pickling cucumbers. No one knew what she put in her secret recipe, but it was just as well. Putting in so much work for a crunchy spear wouldn’t be the same.
So, yes, Patti decided, it had been a lovely morning and was destined to be a lovely afternoon, too. Everything would be rather perfect.
That is, if either Kelsey or Sylvia looked as if they weren’t about to dissolve into tears.
After closing their eyes in prayer for the last time, everyone started standing up and chatting with friends and neighbors as they headed toward the tables set in the back of the barn. Everyone except for Sylvia and Kelsey.
As much as Patti didn’t want to miss out on one of those pickles, she couldn’t ignore the fact that something was very wrong in the Shrock family. Walking to Sylvia’s side, she sat down. “It’s obvious you are upset,” she whispered. “How may I help?”
Sylvia reached for her hand and squeezed it with both of hers. “Oh, Patti, I wish there was a way you could help. Unfortunately, there is not.”
Glancing at Kelsey, she said, “Is someone sick? Thinking of the most obvious explanation, she added, “Is it Beth? Is something wrong with her babe?”
“Nee. As far as she knows, her pregnancy is going well,” Kelsey replied.
If she wasn’t so close to Sylvia, Patti would stand up and give them space. But Josiah and Sylvia meant everything to her. Some days, she felt as if she was closer to them than her own parents. That meant she must push a little harder.
“You know how much I care about you and your family, Sylvia. Please talk to me.”
“I’m sorry to make you worry.” Haltingly, she added, “It’s just . . . well, I’m afraid the children got into an argument the other evening. Beth returned in tears, and Martin barely said two words. I don’t know how it’s going to be resolved.”
As Kelsey joined them, Patti said, “I’m sure things will blow over. They always do, ain’t so?”
“Not this time, I fear,” Kelsey replied. “I’m afraid we were all a bit too frank. We haven’t snapped at each other like that in years.”
Patti looked at Kelsey. “Was it when you all went out to supper?” Martin had mentioned that just the four of them were going to spend time together.
He’d seemed excited about it. She’d been happy for him, too.
Though he tried not to act like it, she knew he felt like the odd man out around his brother and sisters.
Kelsey nodded. “We started talking about choices . . . and each probably shared some opinions a bit too forcefully. By the time we parted, Martin was very upset with everyone.”
Her heart clenched. As much as she cared about the entire Schrock family, there was no denying that her heart belonged to Martin. “Oh no.”
“Jah.” Looking even more despondent, Kelsey released a ragged sigh. “I fear things were said that can’t be forgotten.”
Patti hoped that wouldn’t happen. Martin, Kelsey, Beth, and Jonny needed each other. “They’ll be forgiven, though, yes?” she asked gently. “After all, that is one of the foundations of our faith.”
“I sure hope so,” Kelsey said as she stood up.
Sylvia nodded but didn’t say a word about that. Instead, she treated Patti to a half smile before walking toward the barn’s open doors.
Patti had seen Josiah sitting across the aisle but wasn’t sure if he was still there or was waiting outside for Sylvia.
She had to forcefully remind herself that their problems were not her own.
Sylvia most definitely had not invited Patti to offer advice.
Most likely, she’d already tread where she shouldn’t have.
Though she completely understood why she was being kept on the outside, she felt a bit dismayed. Over the years she’d opened up about a lot of things to Sylvia and Josiah. She would’ve thought they would’ve felt comfortable about doing the same thing.
As she stood by herself, Patti allowed her mind to drift back to Martin.
If he’d gotten in a fight with his siblings, it must have been very bad.
She knew that he took his role as the eldest seriously and always looked out for the others.
If he had left town without saying goodbye, she was going to have to walk to the phone shanty and call him—and bring up her concerns.
That was a big risk, though. He would either appreciate her words or resent her interference.
What to do?
“Hey, everything’s going to be all right,” Kelsey said as she walked to Patti’s side. “My grandmother is mostly upset because there’s nothing that she can do to help. She hates that.”
“What about you? Are you all right?”
Some of Kelsey’s self-assuredness faded. “No. I said some things to Martin that I wish I hadn’t. He got upset with me.”
“I’m sure he’ll get over it.”
“I reckon he will in time, but his forgiveness isn’t going to completely erase my guilt.
I should’ve been more circumspect and thoughtful.
” Looking upset with herself, she added, “I was so thoughtless, Patti. Martin has given up so much for me over the years. When he was in high school, if he thought I needed him, he would break his plans and stay home. I can’t tell you how many Friday or Saturday nights he spent at home with me watching silly TV shows.
” She swiped a runaway tear from her cheek. “Why had I forgotten that?”
Patti was starting to feel really alarmed. If Kelsey was feeling this guilt-ridden, she must have really hurt her big brother’s feelings. “I’ll pray for you.”
“Danke. Pray for Bethy, too, wouldja?”
“I’d be happy to.” Tentatively, she added, “I happened to notice that she isn’t here. Did Beth not feel like coming to worship?”
“She’s been having trouble sleeping and begged off this morning.
Dawdi wasn’t real happy but understood.” Looking toward the open barn door, she added, “I think that’s why Mommi is anxious to leave.
Even though Beth is a grown woman and used to living on her own, Mommi worries about her. We all do right now.”
“That’s understandable.” She worried about Beth, too. Her good friend had a lot on her shoulders.
After giving Patti a quick hug, Kelsey walked across the room to stand by her husband’s side.
Patti sat down again, overwhelmed by the other women’s pain and the new set of concerns. Not only about the fight they had, but the fact that Martin left without telling her goodbye. Even though it wasn’t helpful, she found herself wondering if the argument had anything to do with her.
Had she inadvertently done something wrong?
Just as quickly, she pushed those selfish thoughts from her mind. She needed to focus on the Schrock family, not herself.
Figuring that the Lord was just as worried as she was, Patti offered a quick prayer.
Dearest Lord, please help Josiah, Sylvia, Kelsey, Beth, Jonny, and Martin work through their problems and struggles.
Please be with them as they come to terms with Your will.
Help them discover Your grace and find peace.
Please help me be the friend that they need me to be and keep my focus on them and not my own selfish wishes. Amen.
“Everything all right with you, Patti?” Bishop Hershberger asked.
Looking up into the kind man’s eyes, she smiled. “I think so,” she murmured as she stood up. “I just felt the need to say some extra prayers.”
“That’s the beauty of the Lord, don’t you think? He’s always willing and able to be at our beck and call.”
She smiled at the idea of the Lord stopping whatever he was doing to listen to her prayer.
“He does wonderous things, for sure and for certain.”
“He does indeed.” Gesturing toward the tables, Bishop Hershberger added, “My advice would be for you to go enjoy a bit of lunch. Jenna Lambright made some peanut butter chocolate chip cookies that are wonderful. They might make any worry better.” He winked.
“Then, of course, there are Martha’s pickles. ”
She chuckled softly. “Are there any left?”
“Not many, but I’ll tell you a secret. Martha always keeps some in the icebox under the table.”
“Do you think she’ll mind if I sneak one out of the container?”
“Nee. But if you are worried, just tell her that I told you to get one from there. She’ll understand.”
“Danke, Bishop. I think I’ll go do that.”
“Gut. And, Patti?”
She turned back to face him. “Jah?”
“I know you are likely worried about your future with a certain special man, but don’t give up. I have a feeling nothing is as hopeless as it seems.”
“I’ll try to keep that in mind.” She smiled. But after he walked away, Patti could admit to herself that she now felt as sad as Sylvia and Kelsey had appeared.
Knowing that there was no way she could sit down with the ladies who were eating and make small talk—let alone eat a sandwich or a cookie—she walked to the ice box, found a paper towel and used it to snag a spear, and then walked toward the field where all the buggies and horses were waiting.
With efficient movements, she greeted Ginger, hitched her up the buggy, and then slowly made her way to the main road.
Only then did Patti realize that tears were in her eyes.
She knew why, too. Yes, she was worried about Kelsey and Sylvia. Yes, she wanted to comfort Martin, too. But Patti knew that she was upset by something else—and that was the idea of never having the relationship with Martin that she desired.
She’d never be his wife. Never get to look at him across the breakfast table. Never get to instinctively make plans for two people, because she was part of a pair.
Never get to tell the whole world that she loved him.
Clicking the leads, she guided the horse to her house but decided that she was going to stop at the phone shanty on the way home.
She needed to speak with Martin. She needed to make sure he knew that she cared about him and that he wasn’t alone.
And she needed to talk to him for her own good, too. No matter what he had to say, it was better than the places her mind was going.
She just hoped he answered the phone.