Chapter 12
Beth was uncomfortable. After wearing loose dresses and tennis shoes for several weeks, it felt strange to have on her regular clothes.
In addition, she’d been amazed at how long it had taken her to get ready that morning.
She’d gotten used to simply washing her face, applying moisturizer, and pulling her hair back into a ponytail.
Applying eyeliner, mascara, and styling her hair into loose waves with a battery-operated curling iron had been frustrating.
Back in high school and college, she’d taken great care in her looks.
Honestly, she’d felt the same way in her real-estate job.
She’d taken pride in looking put together and comfortably stylish.
She would’ve never imagined that her former morning routine would suddenly seem silly and like a waste of time.
But it sure did now.
It also felt a little bit odd to be driving again.
She currently had a death grip on her steering wheel as she drove on the freeway toward Lakewood, a suburb of Cleveland bordering Lake Erie.
As a couple of cars zipped by her on the left, Beth told herself not to worry about her speed.
She was fine. And she was. She was maintaining a respectable seventy miles an hour and keeping up with the traffic.
She could return to her old life whenever she needed to. She might be currently living in Walden and helping her grandmother hang laundry on lines in the basement, but she was still the same Beth Schrock that she’d always been.
Maybe.
It was just the relationship with her longtime friend Kiran that was in shambles.
But what could she expect when the two of them had too much to drink one night and decided to take their friendship to the next level?
She’d woken up the next day hung over and embarrassed.
She’d expected to feel awkward around him for a while. And she had.
She’d never imagined she’d also be pregnant.
As much as she wished she never had to see him again, that wasn’t going to be possible. They needed to iron things out for the baby’s sake. One day he or she was going to want to know their father, and both she and Kiran agreed to eventually set up a plan in order for that to happen.
All that was why she’d told Junior that she was going to take a couple of days off work and had gone against Jonny’s advice to do everything via email.
So this was the right thing to do. It sure wasn’t easy, though.
Kiran had agreed to meet her for lunch at Toast, a trendy spot in Lakewood.
The restaurant was expensive and small. The menu catered to a variety of special diets. If one was following a keto, vegan, or gluten-free diet, they had it covered. Toast also specialized in organic, farm to table fare.
She’d always enjoyed it.
Now she couldn’t help but think that there were three or four quaint restaurants in Walden that served many of the same items with a lot less fuss for a lot less money.
Toast was a good spot for her, though. A successful one. A lucky one. She’d taken at least a dozen clients there, usually when she was trying to impress someone new.
Over sparkling water and appetizers, she would present herself. No, she’d sell herself, unabashedly sharing her successes and the accolades she’d earned.
It was also where she’d closed deals with one set of people and then celebrated with some of her colleagues.
Beth realized that she’d chosen the restaurant in the hopes that the surroundings would spur a little bit of her fortitude.
A little bit of verbal muscle memory, if you will.
She needed her brain to be working well.
She needed to be able to speak clearly, concisely, and with confidence about her needs.
And, perhaps, effectively close out any questions or comments that Kiran might have.
This place was her armor.
After the server brought her a fresh glass of sparkling pom egranate tea, she glanced down at her watch. And realized that she’d arrived ten minutes early.
Too early to appear completely confident and at ease. That had been a mistake.
But at least Kiran wasn’t there yet and would never know.
After reminding her bladder that she did not need to go to the bathroom just yet—even though it was doubtful it would listen—she crossed her legs and did her best to appear relaxed in her rather snug dress and uncomfortable heels.
“Beth Schrock, look at you. You’re just as gorgeous as ever,” Kiran said as he approached the table. “No, don’t get up,” he murmured as he ignored the place setting across from her and sat down on her left.
Kiran was a surprise. He was dressed in dress pants, a white finely woven cotton shirt with the top button unbuttoned, and an open navy blazer.
His shoes were from a popular men’s shoe store and recently polished.
His cheeks were freshly shaved, and the faint reminder of his aftershave lingered on his skin.
He was just as handsome as she remembered.
No, that wasn’t right. He was actually a bit more than that. He was more than she’d allowed herself to remember. More charismatic. More charming. More confident. Nicer. And yes, even more good looking than she’d wanted to think about.
Though she felt nothing toward him beyond a regret for the change in their relationship, she did acknowledge that there would always be a link between them.
She’d been a bit of a fool to imagine that a favorite restaurant to celebrate work success was going to have any bearing on how she felt.
Her personal life was in shambles.
Clearing her throat, she attempted to adopt an easygoing attitude. “Thank you for meeting me here.”
“There’s no need to thank me. Of course I was going to meet you.”
“Kiran.” She couldn’t help but shake her head. He spoke so smoothly . . . but she had a feeling that he wasn’t fake and slick. At least not right at this moment.
Lines around his eyes deepened as his smile deepened. “Hey, why are you looking so surprised? I picked up as soon as you called and agreed to meet the minute you asked.”
He had done all those things. “I . . . I’m not sure why I’m surprised. I guess it’s because things are different now.”
“I know. But it’s still just you and me. Have you forgotten that we’ve been friends for years?”
“Of course not. I haven’t forgotten.”
“I figure if we can survive all those crazy real-estate deals we worked on together, we can figure out how to manage our future, too.” Some of the amusement in his eyes faded as he studied her.
She could practically feel his eyes examine every inch of her. Taking catalog of the differences. Her muscles tensed. She forced herself to look right back at him. Not look away. Not be embarrassed that her body had begun to change because she was carrying a baby.
No, not a baby. Kiran’s baby.
When the server approached again, she smiled at Kiran. “It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Gould. What would you like to drink?”
“I’ll have a Perrier, thanks.”
“Lemon or lime?”
“Lime. Thanks, Carolina.”
“Of course, Mr. Gould.” The server turned to Beth. “Would you care for another pomegranate spritzer, miss?”
“No. Thank you. One is probably enough. I’ll just drink water from now on.” No way did she want the server to be the one to tell Kiran that she’d arrived too early.
When Carolina walked off, Kiran tilted his head to one side. “You’ve been here for a while?”
“No, I just got here a little early.”
“What’s going on, Beth? When you told me the news, you were pretty matter of fact. When you told me that you didn’t want me to be a part of the baby’s life, I agreed. Have you changed your mind?”
“What would you do if I said I did?”
Kiran looked slightly taken aback but recovered quickly. “I’d probably do the same thing I did when you called two days ago. I’d agree to meet with you and talk things through.”
She blinked. “You mean that, don’t you?”
“Of course, I do.” He opened his mouth to continue but refrained when Carolina returned with his drink.
“Would you two care for anything?”
“Yeah. Bring us one of those cheese boards with fruit. Do you want anything else, Beth?”
“No, that sounds good.”
“Just that. Thanks,” he said, not even looking at Carolina.
Some of the spark in the server’s eyes faded as she turned around. Beth wondered just how close the two of them had been—then decided it didn’t matter. She wasn’t jealous and had no real interest in Kiran’s personal life.
After taking a sip of water, Kiran spoke.
“Beth, I’m going to be honest. From the time we first met, we’ve clicked.
I’ve always liked working with you. Whenever our paths crossed on a real-estate deal, I would breathe a sigh of relief.
You’re smart and have an easy way about you.
I’ve always considered us to be friends. ”
“I felt the same way.”
Looking a bit relieved, he smiled at her before continuing. “That said, I’m not going to say that I wish our, um, night hadn’t happened. But I do wish we’d made better choices when it did. I’m sorry that something must have been wrong with the protection we used. I’m sorry for that.”
“I’ve never held you responsible. There were two of us that night.” She swallowed. “And everything we did was mutual.”
“I know you’re keeping the baby. You haven’t changed your mind about that, have you? You still don’t want to think about adoption?”
“No. I want this baby.” Curving her hands around her belly, she said, “I’m excited to be a mother.”
“All right, then.” He cleared his throat.
“If you’d like me to help support it and give you money every month, or I don’t know, a sum every six months or year, I can contact a lawyer and put that into place.
But, when you first called to tell me the news, I didn’t lie.
I don’t particularly want to be a father.
If our child wants to know me or if you later decide that you want financial support, then I can get more involved.
” He looked down at the table, then added, “I also can’t read your mind.
If you want something more, then I need you to be as honest with me as I’m being with you. ”
“I understand. You are being very honest.” Even though his words still stung a bit, she appreciated how blunt he was being.
“I think we have to be. It’s another life we’re talking about.”
She mentally breathed a sigh of relief. Kiran thought the same way she did. He hadn’t suddenly become a jerk.
Now it was her turn. Beth realized once again that as much as she regretted having a one-night stand, she’d come to terms with the pregnancy and was excited to be a mother.
“Kiran, ever since that first pregnancy test came back positive, I’ve planned to do this on my own. I agree, we’ve been friends over the years, but it really has been in a professional capacity. I don’t want to trap you into doing something you don’t want to do.”
Taking a deep breath, she continued. “I realize now that I was na?ve to not have thought about what this child might want in the future. I should’ve done that.”
“I never thought you were trying to trap me, Beth. It never crossed my mind.”
She made a decision. “How about this? Let’s go ahead and get a lawyer involved.
I don’t want or need any money from you, but perhaps you could put a small amount in an account for him or her?
I mean, if you wanted to do that. Also, perhaps you could agree that we’ll always give the lawyer and each other our contact information in case something happens. What do you think?”
Kiran nodded slowly. “I think that sounds good. If something happens to you, I’ll want to know. Just like if something happens to this baby and you need money for the hospital or something, I don’t want you to have to do that on your own.”
“But otherwise, you won’t be involved.”
He visibly winced but didn’t look away. “Otherwise, I won’t. I’d rather not be. I know I sound harsh. I’m sorry, Beth.”
As awkward and painful as the situation had become, Beth appreciated his honesty. “Don’t be sorry. I’m fine with that.”
“If you change your mind . . .”
“I won’t,” she said quickly. “But if I do, I’ll tell you. I promise.”
“Here you are,” Carolina said as she placed a generously filled tray in between them. There had to be at least four types of cheese, that many types of fruit, and a variety of crackers and nuts. It looked like it should be on some influencer’s media page or in a fancy cookbook.
“This is beautiful. Thank you,” Beth said.
“It’s our most popular app,” she said as she handed them each a plate. “Do you need anything else?”
“Not a thing,” Kiran said. When they were alone again, he said, “So, are we good?”
“Yeah.”
“You going to be okay sharing this meal with me still?”
In spite of how serious their conversation had been, Beth couldn’t help but smile. “You know what? Yeah.”
“Good. There’s a ton of food here. I probably should’ve ordered something smaller.”
“Are you kidding? I’ll make a good dent in it. I am eating for two, you know.”
Kiran threw back his head and laughed. “How could I forget?”
Eager to talk about anything else, she said, “I saw you got that listing in Rocky River.”
His eyes lit up. “The Jamison property?”
“That’s the only one I cared about. How did that come about?”
“You’re not still in the business, are you?”
“Nope.”
“In that case, get ready, Beth. I can give you the whole ugly story.”
Taking a bite of brie, she crossed her legs. She finally felt like herself again. She might be living Amish, but she was still the woman who’d spent hundreds of hours working in real estate.
Smiling at him, she said, “I can’t wait, Kiran. Don’t spare me a single detail.”