8 | Cade
Rage unlike anything I’ve ever felt rips up my spine as I stand across the street beside my bike, watching them. He kisses her, and she stands there, looking up at him, her arms around his waist. I’ve never felt so fucking sick in all my life. I knew following her was a bad idea, but I never thought this is what I’d see.
A cop.
He’s a cop.
I know because I looked into him when she told me about her past. He helped her, and he’s someone she’s familiar with. He’s the one she called when her mom died, and he let her run without ever looking for her. He knew what she did, but he let her be free. Now, here they are, coming out of a bar, him putting his fucking lips on my woman.
I’ll kill him.
Fists clenched, I turn, panting, and get on my bike.
I can’t think.
I can’t fucking feel.
Nothing about the way things are going is how I saw my life turning out.
She was meant to be my happy ending, so why the fuck have things gone so bad?
By the time I make it back to the compound, I’m bursting with rage. Moving through the house toward the bar, I smash everything in my way. Nobody stops me. Nobody fucking dares. I snatch a bottle of alcohol, whatever I can find, and then I go to the open garage and sit on a chair, chugging it until my throat burns and my stomach clenches.
Jade sidles up to me when I’m halfway through the bottle, slipping onto my lap.
Usually, I’d stop her, but right now I want Addison to hurt because she is fucking making me burn.
“Aw, you look like you’ve had a bad day. I can help.”
Running her hands over my chest, she leans in, flicking her hair across my face. I want to shove it out of the way and toss her across this room. There is no possible way my dick would get hard for her, but I’m too angry to give a fuck. I let her run her hands over me, not giving a single fuck when I hear the gasp at the entrance. I know it’s Addison, because I know she just got Skye from daycare and came here, like she always does.
“Oh, oh, oh hell no.”
Serenity.
Turning my head slowly, I stare at the two women in the open space, the wind brushing through their hair as they stare at me, horrified. Spike and Jackson come up behind them, and Jackson’s brows immediately furrow. Before he has a chance to speak, Addison hands Skye to him and then she’s storming toward Jade, her green eyes flashing with rage. She’ll put her on her ass, and I’m here for it.
Because right now, I don’t fucking care.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Addison barks, taking Jade by the hair and flinging her off my lap until she lands on the ground with a thud.
Jade spits a curse, leaping to her feet and swinging at Addison, who dodges it with swift efficiency. She knows how to fight, but better yet, she knows how to dodge a punch. I bring the bottle to my lips, the warmth spreading over my body as I take three long gulps. Jackson stares at me, utterly fucking wild, and hands my daughter to Serenity before Spike and he walk in and break up the fight about to unleash.
“Get the fuck out,” Spike orders Jade. “Right fuckin’ now.”
“She started it,” Jade cries, throwing her hands up. “If he didn’t want me on his lap, he could have said so.”
Spike takes Jade by the arm, hauling her so close that his mouth is only inches from hers. “Know your mother fuckin’ place bitch, or you’ll never step foot in this club again.”
Then he shoves her toward the exit.
She curses with every step she takes.
Addison spins on me, her eyes flaring with rage, her fists clenched by her sides. “What the hell, Cade?”
“I thought these were the new rules,” I mutter, my voice clipped. “We go around doin’ whatever we want with other people.”
Confusion washes over her features, and then her eyes widen. “You’ve been following me.”
“Good thing, too. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have seen you kissin’ that fuckin’ cop.”
“What?” Jackson barks. “What the fuck is goin’ on? Someone better start talkin’ right now.”
I look to him, slowly. “Your girl here has been cozyin’ up to a cop, caught her kissin’ him.”
“I wasn’t kissing him,” Addison growls, stepping up closer to me and crossing her arms. “He kissed me and if you had seen the whole thing, you would have known I told him I’m taken and very happy with the man I’m with. Although I’m starting to wonder if that’s actually true.”
“Whoa there, precious. Ease up,” Spike says, stepping up beside her, placing a hand on her shoulder and pulling her back.
“Back off, Spike. This is between Cade and me. He wants to accuse me of cheating, then he can damn well stand up and say it to my fucking face.”
Pushing to my feet, I lean down close to her face. “Sneakin’ around and lyin’ is cheating, even if you’re not fucking someone else. So, even if you didn’t kiss him, you’re still a fuckin’ cheater.”
She slaps me, so hard my head whips to the side. A low growl leaves my throat as I jerk my gaze back toward her. Spike steps between us, putting a hand on my chest, and Jackson takes Addison, pulling her back.
“That’s it. I’ve had about enough of you two,” Jackson barks. “This shit has gone on long enough. You’re goin’ to sort it out, right now. Spike, bring Cade.”
Turning, Jackson takes Addison and drags her away protesting as Spike takes my arm. I jerk it away, hissing a curse at him, but the look in his eyes tells me he’s not messing around. “I can fuckin’ walk on my own.”
“Then start movin’.”
We walk down to the shed and Jackson is standing at the door, he ushers me to go in, and the second I do, he slams it and locks it with the key. Then, he proceeds to yell through the door. “I’ve got enough shit to worry about without fuckin’ concerning myself with you two. I’m not unlockin’ this door until you two sort it out, so start talkin’.”
That motherfucker.
There is a latch on the outside of the shed that can be locked, so he’s effectively trapped us in. Addison charges over, pounding her fists on the door but there is no point. Shrugging, I walk over and sit at the table, bringing the whiskey to my lips. Addison turns, charging toward me with unchecked rage. Snatching the bottle from my hands, she hauls it against the wall, causing it to explode.
“I was drinkin’ that,” I growl.
“You better watch it, Cade.”
Standing, I get in her face. “Or what? You’ll find another cop to kiss?”
“Oh, grow up. You know damn well I’d never cheat on you. If you had stuck around instead of storming off in a jealous rage, you would have seen that I told him it would never happen. I can’t help who tries to kiss me. You on the other hand, could have tossed Jade off your lap at any point.”
“Maybe I liked her there.”
I’m playing with fire, and I know it the moment her eyes flare and then sadness washes across her features.
“You know what,” she whispers, shaking her head. “Fuck you. I’m not doing this with you. If you want to act like a giant baby, then go right ahead. I’m not here for it.”
Turning, she walks away and finds a spot on the old sofa in the back corner where a television and a few recliners sit. She faces away from me, and my rage simmers down just a little. I know she wouldn’t cheat on me, and even though the rage I felt was intense, I acted like a dick. It was fucked letting Jade on my lap. Addison deserves more than that.
Fuck.
I guess I’m going to have to be the bigger person here and fix this.
Maybe it’s time I told her the truth.
~*~*~*~*~
“MY FATHER WAS ABUSIVE.”
Addison doesn’t turn, but she does lift her head a little, letting me know she’s listening. I don’t sit, because I don’t do deep and fucking meaningful very well. Still, she gave me all of her and if I want her to step away from this, I have to tell her all of it. It’s time to rip off the fucking bandaid and let her in.
Fuck.
It ain’t easy.
The last woman I let in fucked me over.
My own sister.
“Lost our mother and we were left with him. Was just Clara and me, but he had a hatred for me. Didn’t mean he didn’t hurt her sometimes, he did, but most of his rage was directed at me so I had no choice but to step up to protect her. She was just a kid.”
Addison turns slowly, her green eyes laced with tears, no doubt from earlier. She doesn’t swipe them away as they roll down her cheeks, and fuck, it makes my chest clench. I should have never let Jade on my lap, but for now, I’m going to finish this story. Then I’ll deal with the mistake I just made.
“She played on it at times, because she knew she could get away with anything if she blamed me. As she got older, and the beatings got worse, she realized she was hurtin’ me and stopped. Then, I was forever protectin’ her from shit men. She got hurt so many times, abused and treated like crap, but she would always go back and I’d always fuckin’ protect her.”
Swiping her face finally, Addi bites her lower lip, as if stopping herself from speaking.
She wants me to talk, and she’s not going to risk cutting in.
“The day I beat him nearly to death was the day we both got out of there. That’s also when she started seein’ Darth. At first, he was good enough to her, but soon I figured out they were up to no good. When Darth offered to cut me in on sellin’ shipments, I agreed. Had no fuckin’ money and he was rakin’ it in. I had no idea what they were really movin’. I just organized it, made sure the containers were there and made sure no cops found out.”
Chest clenching, I fight back the wild feelings inside as I recall the day I found out what they were doing.
“When I found out what she was really involved in, I lost it. I told her to come with me, we had enough money and we’d start somewhere else, but she was so fuckin’ obsessed with him. She couldn’t see past it. He was slowly creepin’ up higher on the ladder and with that came the kind of power he thrived on. I gave her an ultimatum, me or him. She chose him. I walked away and never looked back. That day fuckin’ haunts me, the words she said, they will forever tarnish my soul.”
Clenching my jaw, I think back on that day.
“He’s sellin’ people, Clara. Fuckin’ people.”
“They’re not good people, Cade. It’s probably a better life for them.”
Shaking my head, I step up closer to her. “You’re fuckin’ delusional. You’re takin’ away their freedom. What the fuck is wrong with you? I spent my life protecting you from the very thing you’re putting them into.”
She looks down at her feet, then back up at me. “I know what it’s like to live in poverty, to be starving, to have nothing. You do, too. Darth is giving me a better life. We are going to buy a house, have a family, and I’m not going to struggle again.”
“You think that this world comes without danger? You think you can just go live a happy fuckin’ life? You’re out of your mind. Eventually, you’ll get killed. What the fuck are you thinking?”
“Darth matters to them, we’re safe.”
She’s lost it.
“I spent my life protecting you, tryin’ to teach you better. I’m not going to ship innocent people away for money. I’m out.”
She stares at me, her eyes growing cold. “Then go, Cade. I didn’t ask you to protect me. I didn’t ask you to be my fucking hero. I don’t need you, and I don’t want you. If you want out, then leave.”
She can’t be serious.
“Come with me,” I say, trying to keep my voice calm. “We have enough money, we can start somewhere new. You can get a career, meet a good man ...”
“Darth is a good man.”
“No, he’s not,” I roar. “He’s going to get you killed.”
Shaking her head, she takes a step back. “If you’re asking me to choose, I choose him.”
It feels like a knife to the heart, after everything I’ve done for her.
“After everything, you’re willing to just flick me out of your life. If I walk away now, I’m never comin’ back. Is that what you really want?”
“What I want is freedom, and Darth gives me that. Living with you is exactly the same as living with dad. You want to control my life and everything I do. Go, let me be, and find your own life, Cade, instead of obsessing over mine.”
No words could ever hurt as much as those.
Not a single fucking sentence could crush me as that did.
Addison stands when I’m done talking and moves around the couch.
“I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”
Sorry for what?
Me having a sister that decided I wasn’t worth fighting for, after I spent my life fighting for her?
Yeah.
I’m fucking sorry, too.