9 | Addison
It hurts him.
I can see it in his eyes.
When she told him that he wasn’t worth the fight, that he was just like his father, it broke something inside him.
I get that.
Stepping up to him, I put a hand on his chest and stare up into the eyes I’ve come to love so much.
“I know she hurt you, and I understand why you walked away, but Cade, if you don’t find out what happened to her, you’re never going to heal from this.”
“Goin’ into that world isn’t worth the risk on my family,” he grunts, his voice tight.
“You don’t have to go into that world, you just have to find out if she’s alive or dead.”
“And if she’s alive and bein’ held against her will, you think we can just leave her? Both you and I know we can’t, and it’ll only end badly. Don’t dive into that, Addison, the past is best left where it fuckin’ belongs.”
“She’s your sister, Cade. The only family you have left.”
“This club is my family,” he roars. “She is dead to me.”
His words are harsh, and even though I understand them, I’m so disappointed that he has closed his heart off so heavily to her. She made a mistake, sure, and her words were lethal, but she thought she saw a brighter future. She was young and na?ve. I get that. I’ve been there. I’ve hoped, and I’ve trusted the wrong people.
Things might be very different now.
“What if she has grown up, and is scared and afraid, and nobody is there to save her?”
He shoots me a look so cold, it has me reeling.
“I saved her. Over and over again. She made her bed, she can fuckin’ lie in it. I told you what you wanted to know, and now we’re goin’ to drop this because I refuse to fuckin’ let this affect my life any further.”
When did Cade become ... so cold.
“I feel like you’re not telling me the whole story,” I dare to say, shaking my head.
“Why? Because you can’t accept that I simply don’t care to go find out where she is?”
“Yes,” I say, crossing my arms. “Actually, that’s exactly why. I know you, at least, I thought I did and you’re acting as though we’re talking about some ex-girlfriend and not your actual blood. So she said she didn’t want to be in your life, I know that’s fucked, but she was young and she had a hard life too ...”
“She didn’t have a fuckin’ hard life,” he barks. “I did everything for her, I protected her, I kept her safe and she sat back and watched me take it all. Nothin’ about her life was hard, Addison.”
He’s angry.
This isn’t the time to make this worse.
Taking a deep breath, I step up to him and put a hand on his chest. “I hate fighting with you. I hate it so much you can’t begin to imagine. I don’t want our family to suffer.”
Taking my wrist, he leans down close. “If you don’t want our family to suffer then you’ll let this go.”
Then, he turns and walks to the door.
He doesn’t get a chance to beat his fist on it because it opens, and Jackson steps in.
“Ciara’s havin’ a baby.”
Oh.
Shit.
I guess that’s the end of this conversation.
For now.
~*~*~*~*~
BOTTOM LIP TREMBLING, I reach down and stroke soft, fresh baby hair. Little chubby fists are balled, and she is sucking frantically on them. Bundled in pink, she’s absolutely perfect. The most beautiful little girl. Bringing her closer to my face, I breathe her in as she makes a little squeaking sound. My eyes well with tears as I look up at Spike and Ciara, who are both watching me, their faces soft.
“You’re out, Spike,” I croak. “I have a new bestie.”
Ciara smiles, looking utterly exhausted. “Isn’t she just perfection?”
“She’s the sweetest damn thing I’ve ever seen.”
Wrapping her tiny fist around my finger, I push my lips together to stop from crying.
“Want to know her name?” Spike asks, walking over and placing his big biker hand on his daughter’s head.
“Jesus, stop doing that, you’re going to make me sob so hard this poor angel will get snot all over her,” I croak to Spike.
He chuckles, removing his hand. “Mercedes.”
I start crying again.
“Only you two could come up with the coolest, most bad ass name ever.”
Handing Mercedes to Spike, I watch him cradle her in his big arms.
What a sight.
What a sight indeed.
Going over to Ciara, I climb into the bed beside her, wrapping my arms around her.
“How’s your vagina, honey?”
She laughs, then winces. “It was good until then.”
“You make him wait the full six weeks,” I say, throwing Spike a devilish smile.
He gives me a wicked look.
“It’s not him we need to worry about,” Ciara admits, stroking a piece of hair from my face as I snuggle closer to her. “My vagina has been starved. She’s her own woman, now. I’m baby free. That’s it.”
“Aww, but you make such cute babies.”
“Oh, we really do, but my poor girl can’t take that pain again.”
Shivering, I remember it well.
“You did so good.”
She hugs me tighter. “Yeah, I did.”
“Right, I’m not waiting any longer,” Serenity says, busting into the room. “This one at a time bullshit needs to change. Get out, Addison, and let me squish this baby. Ohhhhh ...”
Forgetting what she was saying, she stops in front of Spike and her lip starts trembling, too. I laugh, getting out of the bed. “Be careful, she makes the ovaries go wild.”
Serenity takes baby Mercedes as Spike hands her over, and I can’t help but smile as I leave the room. Jackson is standing outside the door, but Cade is nowhere to be seen. Frowning, I step up and hug him, pressing my cheek to his cheek. Sometimes, a girl just needs her dad.
“Been a while since you’ve willingly hugged me, baby girl,” Jackson murmurs. “Missed it.”
He’s right.
I’ve been way too wrapped up in this Clara business that I’ve forgotten everything else.
“I’ve missed it, too, Daddy. Where’s Cade?”
Stepping back, I shiver at the cold hospital corridor.
“Went home. Skye was fussin’.”
“I better go be with them. Did he seem ... okay?”
Jackson exhales, pausing as if he’s trying to figure out if he should say something or not, then he looks to me. “I love you, kid, you know I do, but whatever he wants left in the past I think it’s best you listen. Never seen him so withdrawn, so fuckin’ broken. It’s hurtin’ him, and I think it’s because the distance between the two of you is too big. You gotta close it. You gotta let this go.”
My heart breaks.
Maybe it is time I let it go.
At least for now.
Smiling at my father, I nod. “I’m going to go home to my family.”
He places a hand on my face and nods with pride. “That’s my girl.”
Right now, I’m going to fix my man, or at least try.
He matters the most right now.