13 | Addison
“Want to tell me what’s goin’ on?”
Standing in Jackson’s kitchen, I turn when he comes in the front door, tossing his jacket down, his green eyes zoning in on my tear-streaked face. I guess he figured out something was up, considering Cade would have been throwing down back at the club. How he knew I was here, I don’t know.
“How did you know I’d be here?” I croak.
“Because you always come here and raid my fridge when you’re upset.”
Wait? I do?
Shit. I do.
I guess it’s some kind of comfort, or maybe it’s that Jackson is my safe place and I’m always hoping he’ll be here. After all, he is my father, and we missed out on so many years of him being able to play that part.
“Want to tell me why Cade is at the club, breakin’ shit and refusin’ to talk to me or better yet, why my daughter is in here, cryin’ her fuckin’ eyes out?”
My bottom lip trembles.
“Fuck’s sake, darlin’, come here.”
Opening his arms, I rush in, and he closes them around me, warm and safe, a place I wish I had growing up. If Jackson was in my life, maybe things would be very different now. Maybe I wouldn’t be so god damned broken all the time.
“Tell me what’s goin’ on.”
So, I do, I tell him everything, including what Cade said.
Pulling back, his green eyes flash as he swipes a tear from my eye. “Want me to go and knock his fuckin’ block off? Because I will. I’ll put that motherfucker on his ass.”
I laugh through my tears. “While I like that idea, it’s partially my fault. I’ve been pushing him for weeks. This secret, I wish it had stayed buried.”
“Might seem easier that way, but believe me, the longer it stays hidden the longer it has time to create the ability to destroy. Secrets are best brought to the surface and dealt with, even if they cause pain.”
“He is just so disconnected when it comes to his sister, I don’t understand. That’s his family, the only one he has.”
“Let me put it another way for you,” Jackson murmurs, crossing his arms and leaning against the kitchen counter. “Sometimes it’s easier to justify actions than it is to accept that you went wrong. He was hurt, still is by the looks, and Cade don’t deal with hurt real well. He’s pushing it away, because if he admits he fucked up, he’s afraid it will break him.”
I drop my head, rubbing my hands together. “I get that, hell we’ve all made mistakes we wish we could take back, but he isn’t even willing to try and find her.”
“I think you’re wrong about that. I think he is lookin’ but his concern was for you, baby girl. Your safety is far more important to him than even her, that’s how much you mean to him. He doesn’t want to go into a world that could hurt his family.”
Dammit. I didn’t think about it like that.
“I love him so much, but it just feels like we’ve got a huge wall between us right now.”
“You need to talk, and both of you need to listen. Anger will fade, and then you need to fix this.”
I know he’s right, but the hurt swirling in my chest over what Cade said is so painful still, I’m not sure I even want to see him.
“Can I stay here tonight? Just so I can calm down.”
Pushing off the counter, Jackson cups my jaw. “Never need to ask to be in my home, because it’s yours, too.”
I smile, swallowing down the tears.
“Besides, Serenity is goin’ to lose it with Ava’s teethin’ soon, so I’m sure she wouldn’t mind the company.”
I laugh. “I don’t know if you know this, but you could take her and give Serenity a break ...”
He grins at me. “I’m too old for babies.”
I scoff. “Oh, quit acting like a tough guy. I’ve seen you with that baby, you’re quite literally obsessed.”
He chuckles. “Yeah, she’s fuckin’ somethin’ alright.”
“Besides, just because you’re old doesn’t mean you can’t change a diaper and make a bottle ...”
“Point taken.”
The front door opens, and Serenity enters with Ava in her arms. She looks to me and her eyes widen. “Who do I have to beat? Because I’m ready.”
I laugh. “You’re starting to sound like me, now.”
She grins. “I’ve spent too much time around you. But seriously, who made you cry but you’re Addison and you never cry.”
“Sometimes the strong fall.”
Jackson chuckles. “Good news, baby,” he murmurs, walking over to Serenity and taking Ava. “You get a girls’ night.”
Serenity’s eyes widen. “I do?”
“Yep. I’m takin’ Ava for the night, Addison is stayin’, and I’m sure you can work out the rest.”
She claps her hands and looks to me. “Do you want to call Ciara and Janine, or will I?”
Laughing, I pull out my phone. “I’ll call them, you get the booze.”
Jackson shakes his head. “Come on, darlin’,” he murmurs to Ava, “let’s get out of here, these women talk trash when they’re drunk.”
“Don’t taint her perfect ears, father,” I say, walking over and pressing a kiss to Ava’s cheek.
“Bit late for that with you lot around.”
Serenity grins. “Love you,” she practically pushes Jackson out the door.
I have to pick up Skye soon, but I’m certain that Jackson can handle two babies for the night. Skye sleeps through, he’ll be fine. Dialing Ciara’s number, I know she’ll be down for a night out, even if she does have to bring bubba. Janine might not be able to drink, but she sure as hell doesn’t miss a good night off.
Within ten minutes, both of the girls are at the front door.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this,” Ciara says, handing Mercedes to me when she walks in, a bottle of wine in her hand. “I might not be able to drink a lot, but man, the taste of wine is calling.”
Bouncing Mercedes, I grin. “She’s got a bottle?”
Ciara nods. “Oh, hell yes she does.”
“I’m sober, give me that baby,” Janine grins, taking Mercedes. “Consider me your fairy god mother for the night.”
“I love you,” Ciara says, pressing her hands together like she’s praying.
“I need the practice anyway.”
“I’m ordering Thai,” Serenity says. “Everyone good with that?”
Nodding, I crack open the bottle. “Let’s do this.”
I’ve never needed this as much as I do right now.
~*~*~*~
“THAT MOTHER FUCKER,” Ciara gasps, sipping her wine. “I’m going to take him out and kick his ass.”
“That’s what Jackson said,” I laugh. “It’s fine, I can kick his ass all on my own.”
“I can’t believe he had the audacity to use your past against you,” Serenity shakes her head, taking a mouthful of Thai food. “Men are such babies when it comes to confronting their own pasts.”
“They would rather keep secrets than disrupt their lives,” Janine nods. “Believe me, we’re still recovering from it.”
“I’m so glad Jackson is too old for secrets,” Serenity murmurs, then laughs at her own comment.
“The only secret he has left is how many grey hairs he has counted,” Ciara teases.
Jackson has barely a drop of grey hair, the man’s genetics are flawless, which I’m thankful for because it gives me hope for when I’m older that I’m going to look as amazing as he does.
“Stop it, you lot,” Janine grins. “Jackson ages like a fine wine.”
“Don’t I know it,” Serenity pretends to fan himself. “The man has the stamina of a twenty-year-old.”
“Ew, Serenity. I don’t need that kind of imagery.”
Serenity’s grin gets bigger. “That sofa you’re sitting on, we had a great time there this morning.”
Leaping up, I start gagging and frantically wiping my clothes as everyone bursts out laughing.
“Nope, nope, nope,” I groan, doing a little dance before finding another seat.
“Gosh, I missed this.” Ciara sighs. “It feels like forever since we were just the wild girls without kids. I love them, don’t get me wrong, but man I miss it.”
“I don’t know,” I say. “I’m kind of glad to have a little family. It makes me feel like I achieved something after everything.”
Ciara nods, but I can see in her eyes that she’s not completely content.
“You don’t feel that way?” Serenity asks softly.
Ciara shrugs. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Danny and Mercy, and I adore Spike ... it’s just, sometimes I feel like something is missing. My entire life was always focused on Cheyenne and Spike and the drama. I wanted to go to college, I wanted to do something with myself, but I never did.”
“It’s not too late, you know,” Janine encourages. “You’re so young, why don’t you enroll and do something.”
Ciara hesitates. “I just don’t see Spike agreeing, and even if he did, I’d feel so guilty leaving the kids, even if it was just a few days a week.”
“Honey,” I say, refilling her glass of wine. “You have all of us, your kids are never going to feel the pinch of being alone. Your life matters, too.”
Shaking her head, she changes the subject. “Anyway, we’re not here to throw a pity party for me. We’re here to have a good hard bitch about our men because we’re allowed. So, Janine, it’s your turn. How are things between you and Muff?”
Janine laughs, giving Mercy a bottle as she leans back in the chair. “Surprisingly good. He’s been amazing since we sorted everything out. I’m still up and down, but mostly, I’m dealing with it. Occasionally it gets the better of me, but I just put it down to pregnancy hormones.”
“Ugh.” Serenity shakes her head. “Those are the worst.”
“They really are,” I agree.
“What about you, Addi?” Ciara asks. “Anymore sneaky truths come out about Clara? You know we’re invested.”
I tell them everything new I’ve found out since the last time we spoke, and they listen with deep focus.
“Wait, so you’re saying there is some kind of stash location in the woods and you haven’t gone hunting for it? Do I even know you?” Ciara grins, teasingly.
“Trust me, if I knew where to look, I’d probably be unable to help myself. I think it’s a good thing I don’t know, it’s keeping me out of trouble.”
“If we could get the club on board, you could find out.” Serenity purses her lips, then grins.
“Not the club,” I correct. “Cade. He’s the one holding back. Though Jackson did say he is more invested than I think, so maybe there is a chance.”
“I’d suggest sneaking in to find out what we can, but that didn’t end well last time.” Ciara giggles.
“No, it really didn’t,” I laugh.
Gosh, I don’t know where my life would be without these girls.
They’re what keep me together.