His Sins
Raven
TWO DAYS LATER
Ihad been discharged from the hospital the following day, thanks to Kia and Rayhan’s Kitty.
I still remembered the look in Kiara’s eyes…
the moment she told me that I should have told her what I was going through.
The tears… the promises that we really won’t hide anything any longer, something I knew both of us would honour.
I hated seeing her feel like a disappointment when it was my own doing that I hid it all from them when I had so many chances to tell them.
She had spent the night with Liam. I could smell his scent from her when she had come to see me in the morning.
I wasn’t able to ask her how he was. I didn’t know what to think.
She had spent the day with me. It frustrated me that because of me, she was being torn like this between him and me, but she had nothing but love and concern for me.
Her parting words still rang in my head, and despite the fact that I knew she meant them, it still hurt.
“I will always be here for you, hun, no matter what you decide, do, or want. I will be by your side, okay?”
Damon had brought me to his house, although I had no idea what we were, remembering exactly what we were going to do before Liam had arrived.
I was just glad things were still good between us, and I knew that would always remain.
Damon hadn’t left my side, only for short moments to shower, check up on his mother, or if he had to do something, but for the most part, he stayed.
Aunty Red and Uncle El had visited me. I could see the pain in Aunty Red’s eyes as she stared at my mark, the guilt and anguish that she was trying to hide, the beating of her heart, and the way she hugged me tightly. Her whispered apology that she didn’t give me a chance to refute.
She had asked if I wanted to go to theirs, but… I refused. I couldn’t go there.
It hit me hard, knowing Liam had renounced his Alpha title and that he was in the cells. I could feel the pain Liam was going through via the bond, a bond that had become so strong that I felt restless. I could feel his regret, his agony, and his hopelessness. It hurt…
I was on Damon’s sofa, a blanket over me and a mug of hot chocolate in my hands.
“Delsanra didn’t find anything,” Damon said as he sat down on the edge of the sofa.
“She didn’t?” I sighed.
Delsanra and Kia had left last night, only after Delsanra had tried to see if she could find anything, with her final words, “It seems even witches don’t have the power to probe into the works of gods.
” She felt guilty that she wasn’t able to help, but we assured her we were grateful for it.
I wished I could get to know her more, but we had exchanged numbers to keep in touch.
Kia had started a group chat with Raihana, too, for the four of us called ‘Queens’, a title I didn’t think really fit me.
“No,” he said, frowning slightly.
“You’re angry at him,” I said softly. He clenched his jaw, staring at the coffee table.
“What do you want, me to go give him a pat on the back?” He asked, turning those blue eyes to me. “I saw him rip your throat out, Raven. He was so fucking blinded by his anger.”
“I know… I’m not blaming you. What Liam did wasn’t right…
” I said, tracing my fingers over the mark on my neck, a mark that so suited the true Liam.
My heart clenched painfully at the memory.
It hurt me, too. The look of hatred as he bit into me was so painful…
I knew I could have died. I had never thought he’d be able to hurt me…
“I know that this curse hasn’t made things easier.
Probably seeing us kiss triggered his anger, and in turn, the darkness took over. ”
“Will you forgive him?” Damon asked quietly, his eyes flashing in anger. I looked up at him before staring at my mug of hot chocolate.
I was hurt, upset, angry, confused, and broken in a way, but my inner mind was clashing.
A part of me wanted to scream and shout.
Why was it that all my life, everyone took my decisions for me?
I was choosing Liam, but what should have been a sweet moment of me telling him that I chose him has been taken from me by force.
Then, a part of me wanted to comfort the broken man who remained in the cells, to tell him that it was okay. But… was it?
I loved him, so, so much. Every time I thought about him, I remembered the young man he used to be, the loving, caring, thoughtful Liam who always paid attention to me.
Probably the only person who ever came close to knowing the truth about my life…
he used to ask me if everything was okay, if I was happy, and I always assured him I was fine.
The Liam without the darkness, I loved him, too.
.. the way he remembered stuff, the way he did things, the attention to detail, my favourite colour, the cake.
.. even when we became intimate, he always gave, still waiting.
He was always waiting... he never took advantage of us or pushed me further.
.. he was considerate… but I also couldn’t just pretend this didn’t happen.
I wasn’t something to be claimed. I had the right to make my own decision. What I didn’t get was that Damon and I were willing to give up everything for him… but then… this…
“In time… I think I will….” I replied softly.
Time… he didn’t have much time… My heart squeezed painfully.
“He doesn’t deserve it,” he said icily.
I reached out, taking his hand. He had always put Liam first. I knew witnessing that must have been hard for him, and right then, I knew both men needed me. Why did I feel like we were just making the curse stronger? Time was running out…
As for Damon, he had shown his love for me; the way his eyes filled with pain and love when I woke up in the hospital room, the way he whispered, “Thank the Goddess you’re okay. I love you….” The way his heart thundered in his chest as he held me against it. I wouldn’t forget it.
“Have you talked to him? Have you seen him? He is probably regret-”
“Stop defending him, Raven! For Goddess’s sake, you need to stop letting everyone take advantage of you,” he said, frustrated, pulling his hand from my hold. My chest tightened painfully; I wasn’t doing that… I just… I wanted everything to be okay.
“I’m not letting anyone take advantage of me,” I said quietly.
“I hope not,” he said quietly. Standing up, he walked over to the window and stared out.
I looked down; no, this was an eye-opener. With everything that had happened, would I still choose Liam? This was enough to show me my true feelings. I knew the three of us would never work together, and I had given up on that a long time ago.
The ringing of the doorbell pulled me out of my reverie, and Damon gave me an apologetic smile.
“Sorry for getting irritated.”
“It’s okay, you’re angry. Now, go get the door!”
“Going,” he replied with a small smile. The look in Damon’s eyes when he had held me as I bled… I still remembered it…
“Hey, beautiful girl,” Taylor’s voice called, his scent filling my nose as he came over and pulled me tightly into his arms.
“Taylor…” I whispered, hugging him back.
His scent had changed. I looked up at him sharply, noticing him looking at my mark. His eyes were filled with sadness, and I wished they weren’t. I really… I didn’t need sympathy. I knew the rumours had crossed through the pack, but there wasn’t much I could do about it.
“Hey, Raven,” Zack’s voice came just as he entered, holding a large bouquet of flowers, a teddy bear, and a hamper. Totally from Taylor. “These are from Tay,” he added as if he did not want to be seen holding such pretty things.
“Thanks, babe,” Taylor said, flashing him a smile and making me gasp.
“Babe? You two are together!” I squealed, jumping up onto the sofa and hugging him tightly. Thanks to the sofa, our height was a lot more level. Taylor chuckled.
“We are,” he said softly,
“Why didn’t you tell me when you mind-linked me yesterday!” I shouted unhappily.
“I… you had just got out of the hospital…” he said. I moved back, wanting to see his mark.
“Show me it.” The men exchanged looks, and I rolled my eyes.
“Just because I was marked against my will does not mean I’m going to become a crying puddle every time I see a mark,” I said, annoyed. “Besides… my mark isn’t dark or ugly. It’s beautiful… like the real Liam that I know is in there.”
Silence fell in the room. I realised that no one in the room held any faith in Liam anymore…
A week passed, and I finally decided to brave stepping outside.
Everyone was being extra supportive, constantly keeping me company or mind-linking me to ask how I was feeling or what I was up to, but really, I just needed everyone to act normal.
I didn’t want their pity. Kiara was the only one who really understood that; when she texted, it was just pictures of the twins or Dante or talking about general things.
I just wanted everything to return to normal, but could they?
My emotions were hot and cold. I went from happy to utterly defeated within moments of each other.
Sometimes I’d remember flashes of the cottage and him telling me he would wait for me, and then I’d see him ripping through my neck.
I kept waking up at night, those bottomless pits of his eyes flashing in my mind, his canines out as he bit me…
My last thoughts were always the same in my nightmares.
Liam won’t hurt me.
I wrapped my arms around myself as I walked through the pack grounds, just wanting to think things through in the fresh air.
I had wanted to return to training, but Damon had said it was better I didn’t.
I knew why: everyone was talking. I was going to have to face it sooner or later. I didn’t want to be cocooned up.