Chapter 52
NIKOLAI
Song- The Night Does Not Belong To God, Sleep Token
As soon as the door of my crappy hotel room closes behind me, my fingers are laced through Mila’s and I gently pull her to a stop and turn her to face me.
We have a few hours to patch up and get some rest before Mikhail arrives to bring us home.
Tipping her chin up, I brush her hair away from her face, press a soft kiss to her forehead, and close my eyes.
Soaking her in. Us in.
Holding her, that little satisfied hum coming from her makes my heart almost explode.
This is how I see my future. Waking up with this woman in my arms, and Elena running in with a smile on her face.
Hell, more babies. I know Elena has always dreamed of having siblings. I know I would be lost without mine, even Alexei, who might not be blood but he will always be my brother.
“You nearly died to save me today, Mila.” My voice almost cracks.
It’s been rattling around in my brain, my palm itches to bend her over and spank her senseless.
She pulls away, cupping her bloodied hands on my cheeks. A small smirk tugs at her lips, as if she’s impressed with herself.
So she should be, she did us both proud today.
I tip my head to the side, biting back a grin and putting on my serious face.
“Nothing to say for yourself?” I growl.
She winces as she steps back a little and it makes me want to go back to my father’s estate and rip his heart out.
One day, Mikhail and I will. It isn’t a threat, it’s a promise.
“Dying for the person who owns your soul isn't a bad thing. It means my life meant something if I belonged to another. Even if it was for a brief time. I’d do anything to have you and Elena back in my life. But if there’s a choice, and Elena didn’t lose you, there was no other option.”
I hug her against my chest, even with the searing pain from my shoulder. The way she loves my daughter, and the way Elena adores her, makes all of the agony worth it.
This was never just about me, I am fueled by the love for my little girl.
Every single thing I do in life is to ensure her happiness, her safety.
I will lay down my life for her.
And now I have found a woman, who not only would do the same for me, but also for Elena.
So I can’t ever let her go. Not again.
I understand why she broke me. She’s right, I would have done the same thing.
You sacrifice yourself for those you love.
But, you also sometimes have to admit you were wrong. I should have known there was more behind her actions. That the Mila or Melissa I fell in love with was in there.
I hunted her down for betraying me, when in fact, I should have been chasing her to help her.
I swallow past the lump in my throat, still feeling the torture of believing I was about to lose her.
“I’m sorry, baby,” I whisper into the top of her head.
“For what?” She hugs me tighter.
“I should have realized sooner. I should have known you didn’t do this to hurt me, you were right. I would have done that, if not worse for my daughter. But, I love you, Mila, so damn much. I want a future with you and Elena. I want to give you the life you deserve, the one you crave. Let’s move past this and forge our own path, one where I worship the fucking ground you walk on for the rest of eternity.”
She nuzzles her head against me, and I feel my shirt dampening.
Fuck.
“Look at me, Mila.”
She buries her face harder against me.
“Isn’t that what you want too?”
My chest starts to tighten. I can’t lose her. Not now.
“I want that more than anything.” She sniffles. Pulling away from me, she wipes her puffy and blood stained face with the back of her hand.
“Fuck, Niki. I never cry. No matter what shit life throws at me. I hate what I did to you. I hate what your dad did to us both. You saw Daniil? How do I help him? How does an eighteen year old live with no fucking hand and all that trauma? And Tyler…”
She steps back and holds herself up against the wall, pain etched all over her face. Alexei is tending to Daniil. We thought it best that he gets cleaned up before Mila sees him again. That kid endured some tough shit. His life will be different, but he’s alive, thanks to his sister. Now, I need to protect her.
“Tyler got himself killed and he put your life in danger. Family means nothing without loyalty. I know it hurts, baby. I know you lost your cousin. He made his choice and faced the consequences. I would have done the same thing if I got my hands on him first. And I expect you’d do the same for me.”
I take a step closer as she sucks in a deep breath.
“I failed you all. All my goddamn life, my only purpose is to protect. And I can’t do it. I keep failing. I keep hurting. You can’t let me near Elena too. I can’t risk causing her any pain.”
She won’t look at me but I see the tears streaming down her face.
Her chest starts to shake and I step in front of her, forcing her to look at me.
“You are not on your own anymore, Mila. Never. Do you hear me? Those days of protecting, of fighting to stay alive are over. Remember what I told you?”
She blinks at me.
“Vmeste. Navsegda. Together. Always,” I tell her in Russian.
“There is no other option for us. We will help Daniil. He’s alive, Mila. Because of you and only you. You didn’t fail any of us. You fought almost to the death for your brother, for me. For my little girl. Don’t ever think you didn’t. You’re a force, Mila. An absolute whirlwind of destruction in the most incredible way. A fucking inspiration to Elena. A savior to Daniil.” I run my thumb along her swollen bottom lip.
“And the absolute love of my life. The center of my universe. The beating of my heart. My future.”
Her lip trembles and I swipe away her tears.
“You mean that, Niki? You really want me still? You trust me?”
I nod.
“With my damn life,” I say without hesitation.
I lean in, brushing my lips across her jaw. “Just maybe not with a knife in your hand in the middle of an argument. I’m not sure I can take many more puncture wounds from you before you bruise my ego to the point of no return.”
She hiccups a laugh and I smile against her skin.
“Don’t piss me off and I won’t stab you.”
“Deal,” I chuckle, but have to stop due to the pain.
Her hands run up my abs and she stops on my shoulder, looking at the blood stains on my shirt.
“I love you, Nik. I meant what I said before, my heart, my body, my entire soul is yours. It’ll only ever be yours.”
I press my lips to hers, and the world stops for a moment.
“I will love you with my entire being until I take my last breath. And then I’ll love you in the next life.”
A naughty smile lights up her face.
“Will you haunt me?”
“Damn right. I’ll have to find a way to fuck you as a ghost.”
Her finger trails down my throat.
“Hmm, or you could do it now…”