Chapter 27
CHAPTER 27
A iden knew eventually he would have to meet with Erica. At the very least he needed some kind of closure, even if he didn’t ever want to see his ex again. And the town wasn’t big enough to avoid her forever. Eventually he would run into her by accident, if not by choice. The thought made him never want to leave his house again. More and more he found himself wanting to cocoon at home, with June, and never go out. He wondered if maybe he was depressed, even if he didn’t feel it, but as he wandered through the house he realized it was something else: he liked it here. No, he loved it here. The monstrous McMansion he’d dreaded with Erica had now become a cozy safe haven with June.
The thing that brought about the realization was the most improbable thing, a trip by the downstairs guest bathroom. Aiden walked by it, as he did multiple times a day, and then backed up a few steps and stared at it.
“June,” he called.
She was in the kitchen, making something magical that smelled amazing. Somehow they had fallen into traditional roles there, with June doing the majority of cooking. Aiden had offered to get takeout or make his limited menu of the three things he knew how, but June shooed him away with a literal flick of her finger and, I like to cook. No biggie.
“Yes?” She walked toward him with a wooden spoon still in her hand, making him wonder what his tone had sounded like. Panicked? Worried? Confused?
He motioned toward the bathroom. “Wallpaper,” he said.
“Yes.” She said it like a question again. “Do you not like wallpaper?”
“I have literally never had one iota of thought about wallpaper, but how did this get here?”
She grinned at him. “Well, I had to find something to do while my husband was at work. I was a work widow.” She put forth a little pout that distracted him, even though it was fake. He wanted to kiss that lip; he wanted to kiss all of her. The more time went on, the harder it was to stay away from her. But she wasn’t ready yet, and he hadn’t found the magic solution to fix her. So they kept hovering around each other, not saying anything or acting on the horrible tension that simmered between them. What is the longest anyone has gone without consummating their marriage? Aiden pushed away the stray thought, not wanting to dwell on how depressing the answer might be.
“It looks really good,” he said, ripping his attention off June to force it back to the bathroom. It was a wallpaper he never would have picked, and certainly Erica never would have picked. She liked things smooth and colorless, not like June, who liked texture, mismatched things, a riot of color. This wallpaper was dark with some kind of metallic thread in it, and yet it worked perfectly for the small space. Aiden loved it. It made him feel like he was in the country estate of an old home, something that had been around for a few centuries, and not a few months.
“Thank you,” June said, with her accustomed modesty.
He made himself scan the rest of the house and see, really see, the changes she’d wrought. How had he missed them until now? Because he’d been in a fog of grief and mourning, ache and pain, the sting of rejection too potent. “Show me what else you’ve done, please.” He threw in the please so he didn’t sound like a commanding ogre, but he had the sudden and overwhelming need to see and understand everything June had been working on. Somehow it felt relevant and pivotal to everything.
June shifted the wooden spoon to her left hand and clasped Aiden’s hand with her right, leading him behind her to the kitchen. She deposited the spoon on the counter and then motioned around the kitchen. “I started in here. It was a bit too, ah, cool for my liking.”
Erica had loved stainless steel. She’d wanted the kitchen to look like a commercial kitchen. Of course that wasn’t June, could never be June. “I painted, swapped out the cabinet knobs, sewed some curtains, hung some artwork, and of course the table.” She motioned to it now.
Aiden stared at it. “That’s not the table Erica picked out?” He had no idea; he hadn’t been involved in the process, apparently. Or, rather, Erica steamrolled over his choices and swapped them for her own. Now he couldn’t remember what table he had wanted and if they’d agreed on it or not.
June tittered. “No. That one looked like an operating table. No offense.” She darted him a quick, soothing look.
He pressed back a smile and shook his head. He wasn’t offended. He was amazed. How had she done all this, without his notice? “How am I not aware of anything that happens around me?” he mused.
June patted his chest. “You have kind of a consuming job, fella. And there’s been a lot going on.”
He let out a breath. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to be better, to be more focused and involved.”
She rolled her eyes. “Aiden, it’s fine. You’re tuned in to the things that matter to me. And if I need you, I know I can ask. This is the fun part for me, don’t worry about it. I’ve enjoyed the challenge of trying to make this clinical monstrosity into a livable home.” Her lip was wrinkled and Aiden stared at her, amazed. It was the closest she’d ever come to saying anything bad about Erica.
She noted his expression, as well as his raised brows, and blushed. “Sorry,” she apologized.
He brought her hand to his chest and pressed it over his heart. “Keep going, I love it.” She tittered a laugh. “I’m serious, June. You know none of this was my doing. I’ve been dragged here kicking and screaming, but this…” He scanned the space around them. “I love this, I really and truly love this. This is all so me. It really feels like home.” His gaze moved back to her. “ Our home.”
The blush deepened, and it only made her prettier. Aiden ached to reach out, draw her close, and kiss her, but he could see the panic building. It was only a matter of time before something bad happened to her. Even if he couldn’t see anything dangerous in their current surroundings, June would find a way.
“Show me the upstairs,” he said, to give them both a reprieve.
Giddy now, June took his hand and tugged him behind her up the stairs, showing him the guestroom she’d lovingly appointed. He couldn’t imagine who would use it, since both their families lived in town, but he envied whoever got the privilege because it was amazing, like something from a magazine. She had even put a little gift basket of toiletries on the bed.
Aiden had his own bathroom, so he hadn’t had occasion to see the upstairs guest bath she’d also redone. This one wasn’t as dramatic as the one downstairs, because the space was larger, but it was fresh and bright, not sterile like it was before she got her hands on it. He couldn’t seem to overcome his amazement, not only because June had transformed the space from institutional to homey without his notice, but because so much of it was his style, like it had been lovingly selected with him in mind. And he knew, without a doubt, that it had, because June was loving and thoughtful that way, always putting others and their feelings before herself. She was a natural nurturer, and this was one of the ways she had chosen to show him love and care, by making his cavernous house a place where he felt welcome and safe. Instead of a constant reminder of Erica, he could only sense June and her sunny, loving personality. It didn’t escape his notice that Erica, his intended, the person he had chosen to build this house and enter into a partnership with, had steamrolled every single one of his ideas or objections, in favor of her own agenda. And it took June to come in and fix it all, to make the house a place he not only wanted to live, but maybe didn’t ever want to leave.
“Can I see your room?” he asked, voice hoarse with all he attempted to suppress. His mind, his heart, his eyes, his nose, and even his house were filled to the brim with thoughts of June. She was everywhere, all around him, and he couldn’t have her, not really, not until she stopped almost killing one of them, every time they took a step too close.
Nodding, June led the way to her bedroom. They stood in the entryway, surveying the space. Unlike the rest of the house, this room was all June, confirming Aiden’s theory that she’d tried hard to accommodate his tastes in the public spaces. June’s room was girly and floral and light, much like the woman herself.
“You know what this room needs,” he began.
She interrupted, “I’m not taking your monster bed, Aiden.”
“I think it would really center the room, June. Much better than that white cottage bed you’ve got going on now,” he said.
“We’d have to call my dad and have some extra supports built beneath this room and all down the hallway to transport it,” she said.
“Totally worth it,” Aiden replied.
“For you, maybe,” she said.
“I just really want to see you in my bed, June.” He intended it flippantly, to tease her about his goth monstrosity of a bed, but by the end of the statement they both heard and read something else. There was nowhere to go after that but to stare at each other in awkward silence.
“I must have something burning,” June blurted, before turning to dash away.
“Wait, June, wait,” Aiden said. By now he could sense the pending calamity, could almost palpably feel it in the air. Nothing good could be gained by her sprinting away from him, and yet her feet barely touched the floor as she headed for the stairs.
The stairs.
He saw it in slow motion, like a horror movie, as June’s foot missed the first stair. The ball of her foot slid on the second stair, failing to find purchase with that one, too, and she pitched forward, arms flailing wildly. She would slam down the long wooden stairs head first, probably striking her head and neck and spine on every stair. It would be a miracle if she survived, let alone how many broken bones she would sustain.
And yet…
Aiden had become accustomed to rescuing her, to keeping a look out for life’s unfortunate events, where June was concerned. His long legs ate up the ground behind her, sprinting harder than he had ever run before. He reached out a hand, his fingers barely grasping the back of her dress as she teetered on the edge of fatality. Thankfully it found purchase and gave a hard yank, tugging her with him as he took a hard and fast step back. His momentum carried her with him. They fell back onto the ground with a hard thud, both of them stunned and dazed and breathing hard, their legs dangling helplessly over the top stair.
“Okay?” he rasped after they’d had a chance to catch their breath.
She shook her head.
He tightened his hold on her waist, in case she might try to sprint away again. He felt desperate, desperate to have June, to continue whatever might be building between them, to help her, to fix her, but mostly to keep her safe, to keep her from destroying herself.
“I didn’t mean that the way it sounded,” he hurried to continue, his tone placating. His free hand soothed her flyaway hair, smoothing over her ear. “About my bed. I meant it literally, a way to tease you about my nightmarish bed. It wasn’t a suave innuendo, I promise.”
June smiled a little and sagged against him. “But do you want that, Aiden? Do you want us to be really married?” She turned to look up at him, resting her cheek on his shoulder.
He took a shaky breath. “Yeah, I do. I know the timing’s not great, and I’m not great.”
She shook her head. “You know that’s not the problem here, Aiden. You know the problem is me.”
He froze, his heart froze. “Because you don’t see me that way?” It was his worst fear, but to have it confirmed felt like more devastation than he could currently handle.
“Aiden,” June said softly. Carefully, very carefully, she eased her arm from his grasp and smoothed the hair at his temple. “That first night, the night of the glued hands, I developed the hugest crush on you, possibly in the history of the world. You were so cute, and so sweet, and so competent and sincere. But you were my doctor, and then I found out you were engaged. It was all kinds of wrong, so I relegated my crush to the back of my mind, it became a safety crush. You were my friend and off limits on all the levels, but I couldn’t help that spark I felt when you were around. You were the best part of every hospital visit, the only redeeming thing. Marrying you was,” she paused and swallowed hard. “It was a dream come true, even if the circumstances were crummy, for both of us.”
“June,” he breathed. His lips eased closer to hers, but her thumb pressed against them, stopping their descent.
“But,” she said.
“No, not that, please not that,” he whispered, his lips moving against her thumb.
Her smile was sad, and she nodded. “Yes, unfortunately that. You still have an ex-fiancée with no resolution, and I still have whatever this is that makes me a walking catastrophe. I think we need to figure some things out.”
He didn’t disagree. He wanted to, but he couldn’t. “Erica sent me a message,” he said softly. “She wants to meet.”
“How do you feel about that?” Her hand began smoothing his temple again, soothing him, bestowing care on him. It was as if she had a sixth sense about when he needed her most, and what he needed most in that moment. He turned and kissed her palm, in appreciation, in devotion.
“Not good, but I think you’re probably right. I need to do it, to bite the bullet and attempt to find closure.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” she offered.
He closed his eyes, attempting to picture it. Erica, his former fiancée, and June, the woman he’d married on a whim. He was tempted, not only for the support June would offer, but also to show her off, to show Erica she hadn’t killed him, that he’d come out on top.
On the other hand, he didn’t want to show Erica anything. As much as she’d hurt him, he knew she was wounded, too. Seeing him with June would only hurt her more, because she would see and understand how much better off he was, maybe even how much happier he was without her. That would be a gut punch for anyone, one he was loathe to deliver, especially on someone he had once promised to care for.
His grip tightened on June, his lifeline. “If I say yes, would you beat her up for me?”
“I’ll scratch her eyes out and slash her tires,” June promised.
“My girl,” Aiden said, giving her a squeeze. He felt her tense and held perfectly still until she eased, until he was certain she wouldn’t freak out again and take another header down the stairs.
She swallowed hard. “I feel very odd about that meeting,” she confessed.
“Odd how?” he asked.
“Like I want you to go and get it out of your system, so you can find healing and closure. Like I don’t ever want you to see her again, so you won’t have to feel more things. Like if she tries to get you back, I might truly…”
“Might truly what?” he prompted, trying not to show how pleased and amused her protective jealousy made him.
She turned to face him, balling his shirt in both her fists. “Might have to show her how many ways you’re no longer hers.”
“Can you show me those ways?” he asked.
She laughed. “Aiden, we’re perched at the top of a wooden staircase. Are you trying to kill us?”
He touched his nose to hers. “Might be worth it, June.”
She swallowed hard and shook her head. “No, Aiden, it wouldn’t, it really wouldn’t. If something happened to you because of me, because of my…if you got hurt or died, and it was my fault. I couldn’t live with that. Please don’t make me. Please don’t push me to a place where that might happen.” Her big soft eyes pleaded with him, and it broke his heart because he saw no solution to end their misery. One thing he knew, he couldn’t focus fully on June with Erica still living rent free in his head. Step one: tie up loose ends with his ex.
“It’s going to be okay, June,” he promised. He had no idea how, but he knew he would make it so. One way or another he would find the solution to June’s problem and fix it. Or die trying.