Chapter 6
Chapter
Six
MADDON
My blood boils as I grasp Gareth’s hand, the same hand that almost cupped Luca’s face like he had that right.
No one had that right.
No one but me.
“Where’s your boy?” I growl as I drop Gareth’s hand and step in front of Luca.
“Home. Didn’t want to come out but gave me permission to play.”
“Not with this one. Now fuck off.”
Gareth frowns, anger flashing in his eyes, but he’s not dumb enough to try me. He knows he’ll be on his ass faster than he can say “good boy.”
Holding his hands up in surrender, he nods and backs away, his eyes flicking down to Luca once more before he turns and walks towards the dance floor.
I watch Gareth’s retreating form for a few seconds more before flicking my gaze down to Luca. His cheeks are flushed pink, his eyes wide, pupils blown.
Stepping close enough to speak in a whisper but not touch him—I don’t think he could handle physical contact with the way he’s trembling—I ask, “Are you alright?”
“I… I’m not supposed to be here?”
My lips twitch, though I don’t let the smile bloom. “Are you asking me?”
He shakes his head slowly, still looking at me with those rounded eyes, like he doesn’t know if what he said was the right answer or not. “I… don’t… uhm…”
When Luca sways, I forget all about him looking resistant to touch and grab under his elbow, leading him into one of the empty back rooms.
After shutting us inside, I lead Luca over to a chair and grab him a bottle of water.
He takes it gratefully, gulping down the water so fast some slips from the left corner of his mouth.
Luca pants when he stops drinking, wiping his face with a shaky hand. “Sorry,” he whispers.
I realize his panting isn’t because he’s tired. Kneeling in front of him, I take his face in my hands, watching how his pupils expand to eat up all the brown.
“Breathe for me, Luca. Deep breath in, hold it. Yeah, just like that. Now let it out. Good. You’re doing good.”
That dopey look he had in my office enters his gaze as a soft smile lifts his lips.
“Good boy,” I whisper as he takes another breath.
Luca shudders softly, placing a trembling hand atop mine. “Good? I can be good…”
I let the smile bloom now, hearing that gasp once more. I know I’m a scary sonofabitch to most people, and it’s not often I smile. But Luca is so fucking precious, it’s hard not to.
“Why are you here, Luca?” I ask, hoping a smile and a soft tone will help him open up.
Pulling his lips in, he looks into my eyes but shakes his head, his cheeks going from pink to bright red. I can almost feel the heat coming off him. It’s… sexier than it should be, his shy vulnerability.
And it’s not an act he’s putting on—this is Luca. A ball of anxiety with a cute face. So different from him that I chide myself for even comparing. From here on out, I’ll have to start seeing Luca as his own person, and not let my shitty past make me dictate who he is.
It’ll be easier said than done, but Luca deserves that.
Thumbing over his cheek, I say, “You came here to explore? To empty your brain?”
His teeth sink into his bottom lip, and the sight is so intoxicating I have to adjust my hips so he doesn’t see my hard-on.
I can tell by the set of Luca’s shoulders when he’s in my office that he’s strung tight. But why? Classes? School? His need to do well at everything he tries? Does he ever get a break from trying to be perfect?
Still talking in a low, soothing tone, I ask, “What’s up there that you want out?”
Again, he just shakes his head, but he glances away this time, as if what he wants is something to be embarrassed about.
In a place like this, there is no shame.
You want what you want and like what you like.
Mask is welcoming to everyone, as long as they’re legal consenting adults and no animals are involved.
Tipping his chin up so he meets my eyes once again, I say, “I can shut your brain off if that’s what you want. I can make it so you don’t think about anything but the words I say to you. Do you want that?”
Luca stares deeply at me, searching my gaze. Finally, he nods his head slowly, though he looks so lost.
“Thank you for telling me,” I say, watching how he preens under my approval.
Praise kink. I can work with that.
“Safe words,” I say.
He blinks quickly, as if bringing me into focus. “I… what?”
“Give me your safe word, so I’ll stop if you’re uncomfortable.”
Opening and closing his mouth, Luca looks panicked, like I just asked him for the nuclear codes.
Before he can spiral, I say, “Okay, your safe word is teacher. If you want things to stop, say teacher, okay?” He nods, but I say, “I need words.”
In a voice barely above a whisper, Luca says, “Okay.”
“What’s your safe word?”
A blush high on his cheeks, he murmurs, “Teacher.”
“That’s good.” Standing, I hold out my hand, palm up. “Come here.”
Luca places his hand in mine, gulping loudly enough that it echoes around the room. Still, he rises to his feet, standing in front of me with evident fear, but resolve in his eyes.
How did I get so lucky for this… soft, sweet man to land in here on the night I didn’t even want to come?
I’m so fucking glad Crista dragged me out tonight. I shudder to think of who would have approached this sweet boy and what they would have done to him. There are some assholes who would take his inability to speak up as consent and push him way too far.
I plan to push him just enough.
Thoughts of my past try to creep in, but I shove them away easily, trapping them in a box to be examined when I want to. Right now, it’s all about Luca and giving him what he wants. He might not be ready for everything I want to give him, but I’ll show him enough.
Only for tonight.
Taking his chin between my thumb and forefinger, I tip his head back until he’s forced to meet my eyes. “Do you have any limits?”
“Limits? I… I don’t know,” he whispers, holding on to my wrist like it’s an anchor.
I nod, expecting that answer. Luca is like a baby lamb, new to the world and out of his depth. But I’ll help him through it.
As much as he allows, anyway.
“It’s okay, little lamb.” He smiles at the nickname, his entire face lighting up like I just gave him some precious gift. “Can I touch you?”
God, this is such a terrible idea. He’s my TA for fuck’s sake. But…
I can’t deny myself just this one thing. This one time. I can regret whatever happens here when I go home tonight, but right now I want him, and I’ll take whatever he gives me.
He releases a shuddering breath. “Yes?”
“I need you to be sure. No questions, no second-guessing. I won’t go any further until I have your enthusiastic consent. Do you understand?”
Luca searches my gaze, his brow furrowed for a moment. Then his expression clears, his eyes turn steady, and he nods. “Okay… Yes, you can touch me.”
Smiling my praise, I let my hand drift down his neck, stroking over the soft skin there. I press a little harder, feeling the fluttering of his pulse under my fingertips.
Luca drags in a hard breath, those wide eyes pinned to my face.
Slowly, I trail my fingers lower, tracing his collarbone then down to his pecs. When I get to his nipple, I pause for a moment before brushing a thumb over the bud. Back and forth, back and forth, until it hardens under my touch.
He looks scared, though his pupils are blown so wide it’s a wonder he has any brown left. I slow my ministrations, letting up on some of the pressure. “Is this okay?”
“Please…” he rasps, his hand tighter on the wrist that still cups his jaw.
I stroke over his sensitive bud with more pressure, watching shock and pleasure bloom over his features. What a treat to the eyes Luca is. I’ve never had someone as gentle as him, someone so new that even the softest touch feels foreign.
Not someone honest about their feelings either, for that matter.
Is Luca a virgin? Has he never been touched before? God, I want to ask. I want to know everything. But I don’t think he and I can have more than tonight. My job and his position complicate things more than I’m willing to untangle right now.
Not to mention my shitty past.
His hard cock bumps my leg as he presses closer to me. I’m not even sure he knows he moved, he’s so focused on me.
I lower my hand from his face down to his waist, holding him close so he can rub off on me. “This okay?”
“Yes,” he murmurs. “It’s… I don’t…”
Luca’s eyes flutter closed as I continue to flick across his nipple, his face so relaxed and blissed out that I don’t want to stop.
Could I make him come like this? Would he let me? How far will Luca let me go until he’s had enough?
I bend closer to him, feeling his minty breath drift across my face.
Licking my lips, I ask, “Can I kiss you?”
He stiffens and peels his eyes open, the fear in his gaze chasing away his pleasure.
Luca wiggles out of my arms, putting his hands up in front of him as if to ward me off.
“Luca,” I say, taking a step closer to him.
“Teacher,” he whispers. And then louder. “Teacher.” I stop in my tracks, looking down at him.
What just happened? Luca looked like he was having a good time—his prominent dick print shows that I wasn’t imagining making him feel good.
So why did he freak out?
Not moving any closer to him, I ask, “Can you tell me what happened?” I want to demand he tell me, pull the words from him if I have to, but he’s too skittish and I fear I’ll scare him away.
He shakes his head so forcefully his hair bounces around his face like a halo. “Teacher…” It comes out almost painfully this time.
I hold my hands up and take a few steps backward to give him space.
“I’m sorry,” I say sincerely. What we just did, what he just let me do, required a lot of trust, and I don’t want him to think I’m abusing that. I won’t push him, no matter how much I want to force the information out of him.
Luca doesn’t say anything, he simply hurries across the room to the door.
He pulls against the handle, but it doesn’t budge. He pulls and pulls, but the door stays shut, not letting him out.
I can tell from the set of his shoulders that he’s dragging in those greedy pulls of air, a panic attack not far behind.
I know he doesn’t want me to touch him, but I don’t want him to freak out if he’s trapped in here with me.
Walking over to him, being sure not to crowd him, I reach around and flick the lock on the door. Luca shoots me a grateful look, but disappears out of the room like his ass is on fire.
Sighing, I lean against the wall beside the door, trying to figure out where I fucked up. He was into it, right? I didn’t force him to do anything he didn’t want?
I’m big on consent, and I’d feel like shit if I put him in a position he didn’t want to be in because he didn’t know how to speak up.
It’ll be uncomfortable, but I’ll ask him on Monday. Nothing else will happen between us, but I want to be sure that he didn’t safe word because I pushed past his limits and scared him.
“Fucking hell,” I mutter, leaning my head back against the wall. Being a scary bastard keeps most people at arm’s length and ensures I don’t have to deal with bullshit. In this instance, it doesn’t help me at all.
I have to hope against hope that I didn’t do anything to hurt Luca. That little lamb is too sweet for someone as dark as me.