Chapter 7
Chapter
Seven
LUCA
I have no idea what I was thinking coming to a club—or what I was doing coming to a club like Mask.
Mask.
What kind of club is named Mask?
Well, now I know.
Still, the man I didn’t know approaching me was one thing. I would have recovered from that eventually. I’m not sure if I’m ever going to recover from the fact that I nearly came in my pants because Professor Levine called me a good boy, and then freaked out because he asked to kiss me.
I’m prepared to make some kind of pact with a demon if it would just open up the earth so I can be swallowed up before our next class together.
I don’t have it in me to explain that me rubbing against him like a cat in heat was one thing, but him crowding that close and wanting to kiss me was a touch too close to what happened freshman year.
Instead, I push my way from the club, suddenly not worrying about who might see me or what they might think. As soon as I’m in the car, my fingers fumble for the AC, like a little cool air will somehow cure me of the heat that’s trying to melt me from the inside out.
“Good boy,” he’d said, and my entire world had centered down to that sensation, to the feeling of pleasing someone.
Safe word. I had no idea what that was, what limits were… what any of it was. I hadn’t known what kind of club I was going to.
I get it now.
I wait for the air to cool, but after a few seconds, when it’s still blowing hot in my face, my anxiety wins out. It would be just my luck that Professor Levine would come outside and find me sitting here like I was waiting for him to leave the club.
I click the AC off and pull out, letting out a tiny little sound as I resist the urge to gun it.
The last thing I need to top this night off is a ticket.
The speed limit is God as I make my way back to my dorm, wondering if I can sneak in without Zandy noticing.
Maybe he’s out with his scary boyfriend again. That will probably make my life a little easier…
Or maybe I’ll end up sleeping in my car, because I’m pretty sure if he sees me looking like I do right now, he’s going to realize something is wrong. I don’t know how to explain that my soul left my body and took a wrong turn down embarrassment street, and now it’s run away from home.
My eyes flicker to my reflection in the mirror—my face is pale, my hair a little disheveled. I look…
Lost.
Lost, and like tonight didn’t do a damn thing to make me any less confused. Yes, it’s obvious that I liked what was going on… but part of me is starting to wonder whether it wasn’t the fact that it was a man doing it so much as the way it made me feel to…
Let go.
For just those few seconds, when I’d been too stunned to realize what was going on and before my mind had caught up with the fact that I was one more good boy away from rutting against the worst idea possible to prove exactly how virginal I was, I’d felt…
Good.
I’d felt good.
That wasn’t something I was used to. There’d been more satisfaction purring through my head from his praise than any time I’d ever tried to touch myself.
“Absolutely not,” I say as loud and clear as I can, like my own chastising will somehow make the situation better. I’m not about to get into… whatever that is.
Not when I’m still so unsure of everything else.
Not when I’ve already been down the whole teacher-kissing road before, and it had ended in a… crash…
The loud clunk of my impending doom makes my entire car vibrate, stutter… and I let out a low groan. It sounds like something under the hood of my car just departed, like it couldn’t deal with the way I was talking to myself, the messed up attempt I’d made at figuring things out.
God, could you give car parts secondhand embarrassment?
“Oh, fuck.” And then, because I can’t help myself. “Sorry, Grandma.” She’s not even here to hear me cuss, but…
My foot steps on the pedal. I’m on a stretch of road between town and the college, probably the only strip that doesn’t have a gas station or building every hundred feet.
Of course this is where my car decides to crap out on me.
“Come on, Tina,” I whine. “You’ve lasted me since I was sixteen. Don’t give up on me now.”
Tina, it seems, is just as embarrassed of me as I am, because she sputters once, twice, gives a violent shudder… and completely stalls out. My car would rather die than deal with me.
Great.
“No… no, no, no.” I try to start her up again, and the high-pitched noise that comes out of the engine instantly has me yanking the keys out and clenching them in shaking fingers.
This is the worst night. The absolute worst night.
Even more so because when I step out of the car and the wind catches in my hair, all I can think about for a second is how much better things would have been if I’d stayed in that club, pressed against Professor Levine’s warm body and…
Nope.
I pull my phone out to call Zandy, wondering if he’s going to hate me if I ask him for help… and notice that I’m still clicked into the information about the club. I back out of the directions and actually check the website.
Kink club.
“Oh my God,” I groan. Because of course I couldn’t take five seconds to actually scope out the club I was going to. I’d made sure it was queer friendly and dove in blind…
Kink club.
Was there a kink for tall professors who called you “good boy?”
That’s mine.
Oh God, is that mine?
I…
I need at least three to five business days to process this, and another ten to do research. I need…
The beaming lights of a car slowing down as it approaches me sends a shock of relief through my chest. Maybe I can catch a ride back to campus and get someone to tow Tina to the junkyard tomorrow. I’ll probably forgive her by then and try to get her fixed but…
But…
God hates me. There’s no other explanation for the man who steps out of the fancy sedan as it pulls alongside the curb, one dark brow arched as he looks me over.
“Mr. Archer?”
Oh, so he’s back to calling me that now that I completely embarrassed myself. I take two steps back, feeling my shoulders hit my car… and I wonder if I can somehow slink in through the rolled-down window without looking like a complete psycho.
I settle for keeping myself pressed against the frame of my traitor of a car, while I look up at Professor Levine as he approaches.
“Is everything okay?” The fact that there’s still concern in his voice is shocking. I don’t know how he can look at me right now after I just ran out on him. I can barely manage to keep my eyes open to look at him. I’m so… humiliated. And anxious.
And…
Angry that some part of my stomach is curling and warm again as he steps closer and the broad expanse of his body towers over me.
“Tina died.” When his eyes widen in shock, I quickly correct myself. “My car. She… I mean… it died.”
“Are you hurt?” His eyes are already raking over my body like he doesn’t trust me to answer, and that warm, fluttery feeling in my stomach raises its head again. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
I ran.
I was supposed to go home in a pathetic little lump and cry in the shower, not…
Not get rescued by him twice in one night.
“I’m fine. Something rattled and it stalled out. I was going to call a tow, or—”
“I can give you a ride.” The offer comes out before I can finish my sentence, and my eyes widen.
“Really? That would be great, I mean, I—” Oh, I really need to learn not to say the first thing that comes to mind without thinking it through when it comes to Professor Levine. I’m running away from him, not trying to get into his car. “I… you don’t have to. That’s inconvenient.”
“You live in the dorms, right?” He’s already reaching around me, his broad body almost touching mine as he leans into the car and rolls up my windows before locking the door.
“I was heading back to my office anyway.” And then, like he can’t help it, he glances at me. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
I have a feeling he’s asking me about more than my unfortunate situation with Tina. I stay quiet as he leads me to his car, my lips pressed tightly together when he opens the door and gently guides me to sit. When he closes the door, I take a second to inhale.
It smells warm, like cologne and the spicy heat I’d noticed in the club when he was so close earlier. I barely stop myself from drawing in another deep breath before he slides into the driver’s seat, sputtering as I try to hide that I was sniffing his car like a weirdo.
“Luca?”
My name sounds absolutely saccharine on his tongue, and I duck my head to hide the blush that instantly rises across my cheeks.
“Sorry, Professor.” How many times am I going to say that to him? He starts his car and pulls out onto the road, heading toward campus.
“There’s nothing to apologize for.” There’s a double meaning to that too, and when I finally manage to look up at him, he’s staring at me like he’s not sure he wants to say anything else. Finally, he speaks. “Unless I’m the one who needs to apologize?”
Oh. Oh, God.
“No. You definitely don’t. You didn’t do anything except help me.” I swallow hard, my body tense while I try to keep myself from shaking. “Twice. And I probably gave you the wrong impression.” I definitely hadn’t, but he didn’t need to know that. “It’s okay… and I… I…”
“Why did you come to a place like Mask?” His question is sensible, low and level. “You didn’t seem comfortable there.” At least he isn’t outright bringing up the fact that I ran away like he’d set my clothes on fire when he touched me.
I can appreciate that, but I’m not about to tell him that I’d typed in queer clubs without reading the fine print. I also wasn’t going to tell him I’d heard my roommate having sex, and it sparked curiosity that he’d completely sent roaring to life.
Nope.
Absolutely not.
“I was lost.” The explanation comes out easily, and judging by the sidelong glance Professor Levine gives me, I can tell I’m not any better at lying now than when I was a teenager.
“Lost, huh?”