Chapter 15
Chapter
Fifteen
LUCA
Why did I think I could be smooth about this? My entire body is tingling and I’m hard even though I’m embarrassed. My eyes are stinging, and I’m pretty sure I’m on the verge of tears.
Which…
Should not really be how I’m acting for my first time.
“I… uhm… I…”
Can I take it back? I could act all cool and confident and pretend I know what words like “hard limits” mean, and then we could just…
God, I’m pathetic.
Another little sound catches in the back of my throat and tries to do me a favor by strangling me.
“Luca.” He says my name again, and there’s something in the way he does that loosens my muscles and forces me to take a breath. “Have you ever done anything before?”
Oh God.
Oh… oh…
Oh shit.
“No,” I whisper, kind of hoping it’s soft enough that he can’t hear me. I can tell he does, because his expression goes through a flurry of emotions. Shock, a tiny bit of frustration, then realization, desire… and… awe.
Awe?
“Luca.” He says in that same tone, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to melt. “Have you ever done anything with yourself?”
Another little sound tries to save me from my embarrassment, but I manage to breathe around it so I can speak. “Not… not really much, no. I… a few times when I was stressed, but… I haven’t really been interested until recently… so…”
I’m not going to tell him that the last time I touched myself was to the sound of my roomie getting absolutely plowed by his scary boyfriend.
“So you’re telling me…” He leans forward, taking my wrist and bringing my fingers to his lips. His mouth brushes along the heat of my palm and I shiver when he speaks his next words into my skin. “The only time you’ve ever felt good was with yourself?”
This time I have to just nod. I can’t speak—he’s stolen every bit of oxygen from the room with the way his eyes are smoldering as he looks at me. I’m pretty sure I could melt into a puddle on his couch just from the feel of his lips on my palm.
Seriously… why did I think I could pretend I was experienced enough for whatever he had planned?
Finally, I raise my eyes and look at him almost helplessly. “I’ve never wanted to feel good with someone before.”
“Until now?” The heat in his eyes explodes, and I feel like I’m being swallowed up by the sun.
“Until now.”
When he leans forward and presses his lips to mine, I realize I’m more than willing to burn.
The low sound that catches in my chest makes me shift forward, even though my little confession hasn’t fixed anything. I don’t know what I’m doing.
My mouth hasn’t gotten that message, though, because my lips open and I moan as he licks inside to taste me. Professor Levine kisses me until I’m dizzy, until I finally pull back because I can actually feel my head spinning.
It seems like Professor Levine is a little caught up in what’s happening too, because there’s a few seconds where he’s nothing but blown pupils and an expression that makes me think he probably wants to crawl across the couch and eat me alive.
I’m pretty sure I’d let him.
In fact, I’m pretty sure I want him to.
He stays still, though, his gaze caught on my lips as I lick them and drop my hands to my lap, clenching and unclenching my fingers to stop myself from having a panic attack. Or reaching out to touch him.
Probably both.
When he lets out a low, rumbling noise and his hands drop so I can feel the warmth of his palms on my knees, I realize it’s definitely both.
“Luca,” he starts, and my heart jumps into my throat.
I just want to lean forward and press my lips against his again.
Kissing is nice. Kissing Professor Levine might be the best thing I’ve ever felt.
When I start to lean forward, his hand lifts from my knee to press at the center of my chest. It’s only a little embarrassing, because I know he can feel how hard my heart is hammering.
“Are you sure you want to do this with me?”
“Yes!” There’s a beat of silence, and I have what feels like an eternity to realize I answered him entirely too fast. “I mean… yes. I just…” That heat is creeping up along my cheeks again. “I want to be… good… for you. I want to do good. I just need you to be patient with me.”
I see something flash through his eyes, emotions I can’t quite read, and then he leans forward and brushes his lips across mine again.
“I’m honestly not sure if you could be anything but good, Luca.
” The praise rolls over me in a nearly palpable wave that feels like velvet running along my skin, stroking every nerve I have to life.
“And if you’ll let me, I want to spend tonight showing you how good I can make you feel.
We can worry about everything else later. ”
I take a moment to process what he’s saying. Everything else—whatever we were about to do when he had me pressed against the wall… whatever we would have done at Mask if I hadn’t run away. Everything else. Which means…
“You’ll take care of me?” I don’t want the question to come out so soft and unsure, but it does. That only seems to solidify the warmth in his expression, because he presses another kiss to the corner of my mouth when he speaks.
“All I want to do is take care of you,” he murmurs, his words sounding more like a confession of sin than admission of desire. Sin, promise, admission…
I don’t care.
“Please?” I whisper, and then I lean in, dropping my head to his shoulder so I can speak against the warmth of his neck and the steady thrum of his pulse. “Please… I’ve never dreamed of what my first time might be, but I trust you.”
I’m not sure if he understands what a big thing that is for me—what little parts of me I’m flaying open to give him that word.
It doesn’t matter, though, because I’m suddenly in the air, held tight against a broad chest. Professor Levine is carrying me across his living room, and he’s already covered half the distance before I can catch my breath to speak.
“Where are we going?”
“We’re doing this right, Luca… which means I want you spread out on my bed.” Professor Levine’s voice is nearly a purr.
“Oh… Okay.” I’m pretty sure I’m going to absolutely die.
I barely have time to try to calm my pulse before I’m laid out on the biggest bed I’ve ever seen… and then Professor Levine is pulling his shirt over his head and I’m treated to the sight of his broad chest with the light dusting of hair trailing over huge pecs, down along the line of his abs.
I’m definitely going to die. Dead.
I’m dead.
I’m pretty sure I’m ascending to heaven when he crawls between my legs on the bed and strokes his hands along my thighs. “What did you do to prepare for tonight?”
His question doesn’t make sense. When I blink up at him, the slow curl of his lips tells me my confusion doesn’t bother him.
“I’m not sure what…”
“Were you planning to have sex tonight, Luca?” As he speaks, he carefully unfastens my pants, peeling them down my legs and pulling my shoes and socks off with them.
“I…” My mind whites out as he trails his fingers along my bare skin. I have to wait until he stops with his fingers pressed against my thighs to remember to breathe. “What?”
He smiles again and drops his head. He nuzzles against the jut of my hip, and his breath is a warm tease through the briefs I have on when he speaks. “You smell like soap.”
Oh…
Oh… right.
“I… uh… I took a shower and… oh God…” My words catch in my throat when he strips me out of my shirt and I’m left mostly naked in front of him. “I watched some videos… so I…”
The heat in his eyes is too much—the warmth of his hand when he slides it between my legs and gently runs one finger along my ass is almost painful. “Did you get yourself clean for me like a good boy?”
I moan, blushing at the sound, but nod quickly. “Y… yes. Yes. I did.”
“So good for me,” he breathes, and then I let out a small shocked sound as he pulls down my briefs and spreads my legs. “Can I show you how good you are, Luca?”
I’m helpless, but somehow he’s still giving me the wheel, letting me drive this entire situation… and it’s that more than anything that makes me nod quickly before I breathe out the only word I can. “Please?”
Please really does seem to be the magic word, because Professor Levine brings one enormous hand up and wraps it around my cock. Just that is enough to make me nearly come off the bed—it’s only his other hand on my hip that keeps me anchored.
“Is this how you touch yourself, Luca?” The soft murmur of his question makes my face flame, but I can’t work myself into being embarrassed when he starts to stroke me in slow, steady movements that feel like they’re trying to coax my soul straight from my body.
“When you’re alone, when you want to feel good, is this how you do it? ”
And then he brushes his thumb across the head of my dick and I let out another pathetic little whine.
“I…” Does he actually expect me to answer? “Mmm… doesn’t feel… it doesn’t feel like… mmf…” He squeezes the base of my cock before sweeping up in another slow stroke, and I shake my head back and forth in a rapidfire response. “Doesn’t feel this good.”
“Words, Luca… it’s very important that you tell me exactly what you need.” He doesn’t stop, though—he trails his hand up, stroking my abdomen, my chest. He brushes his thumb against my nipple and I cry out. It’s too much. It’s not enough. “Come on, little lamb, talk to me.”
I drop my head back to his pillow and nod, incapable of forming the words that he wants. I’m completely lost in the moment, in the feel of him—how big his hand is as he strokes me… in the softness of his sheets and the scent of him rolling around me.
I’m lost in the fact that I’m actually here, that I’m with Maddox Levine and he’s touching me like I’m precious, made of spun sugar.
Like I’m something worth being careful with.
That thought more than anything finally gives me the strength to open my eyes, to draw air into my lungs so I can finally speak.
“You feel better than anything I’ve felt before. ”