Chapter 20
Chapter
Twenty
MADDOX
I don’t know why, but you’re the only person I know who makes me feel… safe.
Fuck me.
Luca’s words rattle around my head for the rest of the week.
It’s a losing fucking battle.
There’s nothing about Luca that’s pretending to be the adorable mess he is. He wants nothing from me, not hanging on to see what I’ll become. I make him feel safe. Cared for.
Loved?
I scoff as I shuffle the papers that Luca left on my desk for filing when he ran out of time today.
Looking around my office, I see how much better he’s made my life in only a few weeks. Desk clean, filing cabinets no longer overflowing, I can even see my floor again.
Not only that, I haven’t made any students cry in a while. Sure, I scared one of them the other day, but that was in the name of teaching.
Luca is making me better by doing nothing more than being himself.
The scary thing is, he’s awakening the caretaker side of me I thought was dead long ago, and I didn’t even notice until we were in that prop room and I was comforting him.
I didn’t know I needed to feel that warmth, that steadiness from taking care of someone until Luca leaned into me and told me I made him feel safe.
My feral side almost went fucking crazy when I saw Hilman touching him. Something about the flash in Hilman’s eyes and the slight quirk of his lips had me dashing outside to… I don’t know, save Luca from him.
What the fuck is Luca Archer doing to me?
Feelings that were nonexistent even weeks ago are surfacing, fighting for dominance. One minute I want to take care of Luca, to be gentle with him and show him how good I can make him feel. The next, I want to ram into him, fuck him into a fucking coma nice and rough so he knows who he belongs to.
Crista is right; I need to figure my shit out and not drag the kid along. I know what that’s like and I didn’t like it. I need to—
A hard knock sounds at my open office door and I look up, meeting the skeevy gaze of Professor Alec Hilman. I fucking hate this clown. Something about him bugs me, something that it seems only I can see.
The entire campus sees this veneer he wants to show them, but I’ve peeped his shit. He’s scummy and it’s only a matter of time before everyone else knows it.
“What?” I ask with an edge to my tone. I’ve never liked him, but seeing how he was so insistent on taking Luca with him, even when Luca pleaded with his eyes not to let it happen, makes me want to fucking deck him. Mostly for touching what’s mine, but also because I don’t like his face.
He looks taken aback, like my tone startles him. Another act. I might be a big guy, but he’s not afraid of me. If he were, he wouldn’t still be standing in my doorway. “Am I interrupting?”
I huff, tick up an eyebrow, and say, “What?”
He takes a step inside, looking around my office with a slight sneer. He flicks his muddy brown eyes back to me and flashes me that smile I want to wipe off his face. “I was wondering how Mr. Archer was. I haven’t seen him since he burst from the building, tears streaking his cheeks.”
Tears streaking his cheeks? Who the fuck does this guy think he is? A fucking fiction writer? No one uses “tears streaking his cheeks” in casual fucking conversation.
Alarm bells ring in my head. The auditorium I’m using and Hilman are in the same building. Luca has been here every day, working until his scheduled classes or attending classes with me. If he hasn’t seen him, it’s because Luca is actively avoiding him. The question is, why?
What has he done to Luca? Why is Hilman expressing fake concern?
There’s something there, something wrong, but I can’t ask Luca.
If he was a mess because this scumbag touched him, I can only imagine how he’ll break if I ask why he came undone whenever Hilman was around.
I listen to my gut and decide to wait, hoping my little lamb trusts me enough to tell me if Hilman ever did anything to cause him discomfort.
There will be no end of hell if he did. I’m not above eliminating anyone who hurt that sweet man.
Standing to my full height so he has to crane his neck to look at me—it pays being six foot six—I cross my arms over my chest. “He’s fine.”
I don’t give more information, don’t allow him to worm his way into knowing anything about Luca that Luca doesn’t want to share.
“It’s just…” He sighs, tucking his hands into his pockets and shaking his head like his next words are painful to share. “He’s a troubled kid. So quiet, always alone. I had dealings with him during his freshman year. I know how things can get to him.”
Anger like nothing I’ve ever felt before flares through me. How dare he try to stake a claim on my little lamb? I don’t give a fuck what he thinks they had. Luca is mine.
With effort, I tamp down my vexation and simply tick up an eyebrow. “Good to know,” I say in a forced, bored tone.
Hilman’s eyebrows dip. He’d probably expected me to fall for his bullshit charm like the rest of the bastards on campus. If he knew what I’d been through—living a life with someone who only showed me the best parts of them—he’d know I could sniff that shit out from a mile away.
“Well,” he sputters, looking around as if to find his words on the ground. “Be that as it may, your handling of him was highly inappropriate. One could say that you were too familiar with a student. You—”
“What were you planning to do?” I ask in an even tone. “From what I remember, you said he looked ill and you were going to take him to your office.”
His face pales slightly and sweat appears above his upper lip. He wipes it quickly as he gathers himself. “Yes, well, as I stated, we had dealings his freshman year and—”
“And he’s my current TA,” I interrupt again. “He and I have built a rapport. He was perfectly safe with me.”
“Where did you take him?” he asks, dropping all pretenses of politeness.
Walking around my desk, I stand in front of him, watching his eyes flash as he has to crane his neck to maintain eye contact. When I’m a few inches away from him, I stuff my hands in my pockets, mirroring his pose. “Thank you for stopping by and checking on Luca. But I can assure you, he’s fine.”
I stare him down, refusing to look away first.
After close to ten seconds, he drops his gaze, but not before I see a tick in his jaw.
Clearing his throat, he says, “Well, I’m glad you were there to offer assistance. Might I suggest next time—”
“You may not,” I practically growl, my first slip. “Mr. Archer is an adult. He can handle himself… and any trouble he stumbles upon.”
Hilman grunts and leaves without another word.
Yeah, there’s something there, something I don’t like. But what is it? Why is he so worried about my TA?
Some way, I don’t know how, I’m going to get to the bottom of Hilman’s bullshit.
The question is, how much will it hurt Luca when I do?
“Hey, Professor,” Luca says shyly as he steps around me into my house. “How was your week?”
I give him a sardonic smile. “It was great, little lamb. Yours?”
“Same,” he mutters.
In that shy, timid way he does, he walks over to me, stands on tiptoe, and kisses me gently. With a soft sigh, he says, “I missed seeing you today.”
Luca had some sort of presentation, so I hadn’t seen him. It’s something for grad school, so I didn’t hesitate to give him the time he needed.
“How did it go?”
He shrugs. “Good, I think. I’ll know for sure in a few weeks.”
Threading my hand through his, I drag him over to the living room and we sit on the couch. “You’ll get accepted into your program, you know that.”
He bites his bottom lip, looking too adorable for words. “Maybe. I just…” He taps his temple. “Sometimes I feel like everything up here is made of static and chaos, you know? What if my grad school instructors see that I can barely keep myself together, let alone manage to help someone else?”
I wrap both of his slender hands in mine. “They’ll think you’re a college student. No one will think less of you for being nervous.”
“I feel like I’m always nervous,” he whispers, his eyes downcast.
Pulling him into my lap, I rest a hand on his hip.
Tipping his chin up, I make sure he’s looking at me before I say, “You’re everything you need to be, Luca.
There’s nothing wrong with you being nervous.
That just means you care about your work and you want to do a good job.
You always do a good job.” That familiar flare of his eyes makes my cock twitch, but I don’t pay it any mind. “You’ll do well in anything you do.”
“Thank you, Professor,” he sighs, kissing me gently.
“Are you hungry?” I ask.
He nods as he rubs his belly. “I’m surprised you haven’t heard my stomach growling. I forgot to eat before my presentation.”
“Luca,” I say in a warning tone.
He lowers his gaze, though he peeks at me through his lashes. Damn, my little lamb knows how to get me. “I know, I’m sorry. I was going to eat when I was on the way here, but I really wanted to see you.”
Before Crista came to my office and forced me to look at my feelings for Luca, I would have thought that was a line he was feeding me, saying the right things so he could get what he wanted from me.
But over the past few weeks, I’ve realized Luca isn’t a liar. Whatever he says, he means. It makes my chest swell knowing that he wanted to see me that badly. But he also needs to eat.
Grabbing his hand, I lead him to the kitchen and plop him on the stool. I don’t have anything quick to cook, so I ask Luca if he’d like to order takeout. “I can make you a quick snack to tide you over until they arrive.”
“Yes, please. Thai food? I have money.”
I shoot him a glare that makes him wither, and I kick myself for that initial reaction.
“I’m sorry,” I say, coming around to take his face into my hands.
“I’m not mad at you for asking.” Luca nods, his muscles losing all tension.
“No, I don’t want you to pay. When you step through my door, I take care of you. You don’t pay for anything, okay?”
“Okay, Professor. Thank you.”
After I order dinner, I make Luca a quick grilled cheese sandwich and watch him devour it in a few bites. “No more skipping meals,” I warn in a softer voice.
“Promise,” he says around a mouth full of bread.
My heart clenches at the word. It’s small, something that probably means nothing to him, but he’s promising me he’ll take care of himself, that he’ll keep himself healthy because I asked him to.
When the food arrives, I fix his plate and turn on my projector. I flick through movies and put on a rom com Luca says he’s been waiting to see.
The movie plays and Luca laughs while he stuffs his face with shrimp tempura. I can’t look away. The fucking ice that was keeping my heart safe, protecting me from the pain of my past, is melted, the last tiny icicle blowing away like dust in the breeze.
I’m in deep shit and I know it, but fuck it. I’m not going to go back and forth on whether I want Luca and for how long.
My little lamb has taken up residence in my heart, a place only one other person has occupied. But this time, it’s honest. It’s real.
When the movie is over and Luca and I retire to bed, I hold him in my arms, hugging him tight.
“Thank you for tonight. It was perfect,” he says sleepily and my heart leaps that he’s enjoyed himself with me. I only want Luca to feel comfortable when he’s with me.
I wrap him up tighter and kiss his forehead, listening to his soft snores.
I’m not sure when I dropped off to sleep, but I wake up on a moan, tight heat gripping my cock. Eyes still closed, I fumble around, grabbing at warm flesh. A dragging feeling surrounds me and I hiss, my hips bucking up on their own volition.
“Professor,” Luca whispers on a whimper.
I peel my eyes open, looking up at the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen in my life—Luca, straddling my hips, his ass impaled on my length.
“Fuck,” I grunt in a sleep-soaked voice, feeling his walls clench around me. “Luca…”
He bites his bottom lip before he rolls his hips, that dragging sensation lighting me up. “You were so hard,” he moans, rising and falling on my length. “This is okay, right?”
“Fuck yes it is,” I groan, slapping his ass. “Any fucking time, little lamb.”
I watch him as he finds his rhythm. I can tell he’s unsure with his inexperience, but it’s so fucking hot that he took control like this. He’d mentioned riding me before shit went down with Crista, but I thought he’d wanted to take it slow.
This is much better.
I palm his ass, helping him rise and lower himself on my shaft. Fuck, did he get himself ready for me? How did he manage without waking me?
“God, it feels so good…” he moans, thrusting his fingers through his curly waves. “Didn’t think… it would be like this…”
I grunt as I thrust up into him, the tightness of his channel driving me fucking insane.
“Take your pleasure from me,” I grunt as I wrap my hand around his shaft, jerking him off. “Get off for me, little lamb.”
Luca tosses his head back, moving erratically as he chases his release. I follow his lead, even though he’s uncoordinated. But he looks so good seeking his orgasm, being selfish and taking what he wants.
A wild cry leaves his throat as his cock twitches then shoots onto my belly. His spunk paints me, sliding down my abs as he moans and moans.
I pull him down into my arms, holding him close as I peg his prostate, milking him until he’s wrung dry.
When he wiggles over me, his moans sounding tired and with a slice of pain, I stop my movements and slide my hand from his cock.
He raises his head tiredly, smiling down at me. “Was that okay?”
“It was perfect, Luca. You’re perfect.”
He rests his head on my chest, letting out a long breath. “It was better than I thought it’d be. I saw… videos.”
“You did great, baby.” I kiss the top of his head. “Let me get you cleaned up, then we can go back to sleep.”
“Thanks, Professor.”
Gathering him in my arms, I walk into my en suite and start the shower. When we step under the water, Luca sighs happily, wrapping his arms around my waist.
There’s no way I can pretend that there’s nothing going on between me and Luca. He’s mine and there’s no way I’m letting him go.