Chapter 25
Chapter
Twenty-Five
LUCA
Things have been different since Maddox told me about his ex… It’s like the walls between us came tumbling down, and suddenly we’re really seeing each other for the first time.
We’ve been careful—dancing around everything—and suddenly all I want is to know everything about him.
And he’s telling me.
I know his favorite color, and his favorite movie growing up. He knows that I love chocolate chip cookies even though I never get to eat them, and all I’ve wanted my entire life is to do something that will make a difference in the world.
It’s been a week of me sneaking out of the dorm room and showing up at his house—a week of him taking me apart, and me falling asleep in his arms to the soft rumble of his voice while we actually get to know one another.
It’s…
Nice.
And it’s another block tied around my ankle making me sink deeper into the ocean of feelings I have for him… feelings that I’m not trying to fight.
It’s a morning just like that when we’re talking about our high school experiences, and I blush when I admit a truth that makes me squirm.
“I’ve never been on a date.” My head tilts, and I grin shyly as I add, “Unless you count what we did at Mask.”
He stares at me long enough that I worry about the bacon he’s cooking. The longer he looks, the redder I can feel my face getting, until I’m pretty sure the bacon and I are both burning.
“What?” I finally squeak out, and his brows dip.
“We’re going out tonight.”
There’s no question, no choice. This is the first time since I met Maddox Levine that he’s demanding something from me, and it makes me a little breathless.
“Okay.” And then I bite my lower lip and point to the stove. “But you’re burning the bacon.”
“Luca, what are you doing?” Zander’s voice makes me jump and nearly fall over. I turn with two shirts clutched to my chest like I’ve been caught doing something against the rules.
They’re my shirts. If I tried to wear his, I’d probably look like I was a kid playing dress up… which is exactly what I want to avoid.
It’s ridiculous—we’ve had sex, we’ve been out in public… but this is different.
It’s a date.
Maddox told me to dress nice.
And I…
I want to make him happy. I want him to want to stay.
That last thought scares me, but I know it’s true. I want Maddox Levine to stay with me more than I’ve wanted anything in my life.
“Earth to Luca.” Zander snaps his fingers in front of my face and I startle out of my thoughts. “Seriously, what are you doing? I’ve never seen you make a mess like this.” He gestures to the pile of clothes on my bed, and I let out a little sound.
“I have a…” I can’t tell him about Professor Levine, even though I really want to.
Which means I have to come up with something else, because I do want to tell him something.
“Job… interview.” I finish off carefully.
“And it’s really important that I make a good impression. It could change my life.”
It could change my life…
“Job interview,” he says, looking at the shirts and jackets and jeans I have set out. “Riiight, okay.” And then he walks across the room and plucks up a black dress shirt I’d thrown aside when I started and arches a brow. “Do you need help, Luca?”
The offer washes over me in a palpable wave of gratitude. I nearly collapse against the closet when I look up at Zandy. “Do you think you could?”
“Of course.” He beams when he says it, and I can tell that he really is excited.
Zander Braithe might be one of the best people I know.
“Though… how business is this job interview?” I don’t like how he stresses the words like he doesn’t believe me, but I ignore it and he ignores that I’m ignoring it.
“Uh, I want to look really nice? But not like I’m trying too hard? I don’t know…” I kick at the ground, feeling almost helpless. “I guess I want to be… cool? Like you, you know?”
I’m still looking at the ground when Zander’s sneakers come into view, and I feel his warm hand on my shoulder.
He gives me a little shake. “Luca, you don’t need to be cool like me.
You’re great just the way you are.” There’s real warmth in his voice, actual affection that makes me let out a little trembling breath.
“Though…” He reaches around me and pulls out a bright green polo my grandma bought me once and I didn’t have the heart to tell her I’d never wear.
“If you wear this, I might change my mind.”
A few hours later, I’m sitting in my car in front of Maddox’s house and I can feel my stomach trying to drop out and hide somewhere beneath my seat. Zander carefully went through all of my clothes and helped me pick out an outfit that actually made me feel good when I looked in the mirror.
A pale pink button up that I didn’t even know I owned and a pair of dark jeans. When he ran into the bathroom and came back with a handful of gel to muss up my hair, I swatted at his chest.
And then he’d wished me good luck on my job interview and told me to be safe.
I’m pretty sure he’s at least vaguely aware that I am a lying liar who lies… and the fact that he didn’t try to ask me about it, that he didn’t even question it and just helped me?
Gosh, I love Zandy. I really do.
And… I probably would have ended up looking a complete mess if I’d tried to dress myself. He’d actually taken the time to straighten up my buttons when I’d fastened them crooked.
There’s no reason for me to be this nervous. You shouldn’t be nervous like this when you’ve had a man’s dick in your mouth already.
But I am.
I want this to be good.
I want to be good.
I… oh God, I kind of want to spend the rest of my life being good for Maddox Levine.
I take a deep breath and get out of the car, then make my way to the front door with my heart thundering against my ribcage and my mind full of possibility and want.