Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CALVIN
“Emil, it’s good to see you. Thanks for coming today.”
My speech to the local business association had gone well. I’d already had decent speech material based on our foundation’s information, but Will’s supplemental information had been invaluable to rounding out the perspective. Some colleagues thought my hands-on approach at the foundation wasn’t necessary, but I was unwilling to give it up.
“Yeah, of course. Anything to get me out of the office right now is good.” Emil’s usual corporate sheen looked a little worse for wear this evening. “This fucking deal might be the one that puts me in an early grave.”
“The import company that tried to avoid the buy-out?”
“Yeah, the family’s batshit crazy. Their books don’t match what my accountant is finding. The receivables are more fantasy than reality. You made the right call telling them to fuck off. I’m close to calling in the note, getting my money out of the mess, and being done with the whole damn thing.”
When the conversation turned to more mundane gossip about mutual acquaintances and sports, I surreptitiously pulled out my phone to see if Micah had texted me back. I’d sent him several messages that had gone unread and unanswered. It likely meant he was asleep, but something about tonight made me uneasy.
Micah hadn’t said anything overtly out of character before I left the house, but he’d seemed nervous and on edge. But then again, I’d never been around Micah when he was sick, and his personality could be off because of that. My mom claimed I turned into an actual bear when I got anything more than the smallest cough. When I’d called Jamie and pulled rank for him to show up tonight, he’d commented about my foolish trust in Micah, but I’d refused to take his bait.
My plan tonight was to give my speech, stay long enough for dinner since an empty place setting would be obvious, and then guilt Jamie into staying so I could go home early. The speech part was done, so I only needed to stick around until the plates were cleared and head back home to check on Micah. Given the flurry of activity near the service doors, it looked like dinner would start sooner rather than later.
I was too busy staring at unanswered texts to notice Jamie had returned to the table until he grabbed my elbow and pulled me to my feet. His expression was just shy of mutinous.
“Emil, nice to see you again. Would you mind giving our apologies if anyone asks? Cal needs to leave. Now.”
“Yes, of course. I hope everything is all right.”
“Thank you, and good luck with your mess.”
Emil waved me off and went back to furiously texting on his phone.
Jamie remained quiet until we’d gotten our coats from the checked closet and our vehicle from the valet. Jamie had taken the keys and slipped into the driver’s seat. He was a man on a mission and anger rolled off him in waves.
“What the fuck is this about?” Jamie checked the mirrors before easing his way into traffic. Wherever we were headed, it wasn’t back to the island. His phone had a map pulled up and we were headed in the opposite direction. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”
“Do you remember Noah Sloane?”
“From high school?” There had been a scandal at the country club. His dad went broke in spectacular fashion, and they lost everything. Noah was forced to switch schools at the beginning of our senior year, and I hadn’t seen him since. “Vaguely. Why?”
“Sometimes you’re so fucking oblivious. You see him every goddamn time you take the ferry.”
“I’m supposed to notice who’s in another car on my commute? And you still haven’t told me the emergency.”
“Oh my god. Noah’s not a commuter. He’s a ferryman. And he called me tonight and said the kid—his word, not mine—got on the ferry looking rough as hell. Micah has his bag with him, and we’re going to the address showing up on the tracker.”
“How does he know Micah?”
“The Micah who used to cross all the time on a bike before he hooked up with you and who he now sees in your car all the time? Gee, I wonder.”
“Okay, you win that one, Batman.”
“Thanks.”
“Why does he have your number?”
“None of your business. Just be glad he called so we can see what your boy’s up to tonight.”
I had no response to his sarcasm, so I sat back in the seat and stared out the window instead. We were headed to a rundown part of town. The area was a mixture of apartment buildings and small clapboard houses so tightly packed you could hardly walk between them. Interspersed between neighborhoods were industrial strip centers and warehouses. More than a few tents lined the cracked sidewalks, and most of the empty lots were covered in trash. Dread, maybe fear, pooled in my gut.
It was beyond me why Micah had come over here after staying home because he was too sick to attend tonight. Of course, in hindsight, his out-of-sorts behavior probably had everything to do with nervousness and nothing to do with being ill. Now, I was the one sick to my stomach. To the best of my knowledge, Micah had never outright lied to me until today, and the thought of it pissed me the fuck off.
Jamie brought the car to a stop in front of a ramshackle house surrounded by others that looked precisely the same. Micah’s bike was propped against the sagging porch. He was here, or at the very least, had been here.
Jamie, bless him, sat in the driver’s seat, stone-faced. If he was suppressing the urge to say I told you so, it didn’t show. He was a fully blank slate.
“You want me to go in while you wait here?” Jamie’s quiet question hung in the air.
“No.”
I opened the car door and stepped out into the rain. There was no point in putting this off. One way or another, I’d know if my instincts about Micah were right or if Jamie would eventually be able to crow about being right. Without looking, I knew he was right behind me. Jamie would be in it with me regardless of how this played out.
The front door was closed, but there was an angry commotion on the other side. I heard raised voices but couldn’t understand anything being said over the TV’s volume. Fuck . The doorknob turned easily in my hand. Unlocked. If I got arrested for burglary, I could afford to hire a good lawyer. Decision made, I turned the knob fully and flung open the door.
And what I saw sent me into a rage.
Micah was sprawled on the floor near the front window with a bloody lip and a torn shirt. The two men were shouting fuck yous to each other and tussling over his backpack. The older- looking of the two had Micah’s coloring but was considerably bigger and paunchier. The TV echoed around the almost empty room, and I didn’t feel like searching for a remote in the cushions. Instead, I grabbed a handful of cords that snaked around it, gave them a yank, and sent the TV crashing to the ground.
All eyes turned to me, but the only person in the room I had eyes for was Micah. Dried streaks tracked down his cheeks and his horrified eyes glistened with more unshed tears. When I moved in his direction, he scrambled to his feet and threw himself at me. The tears he’d been holding back racked his shoulders. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and held him close.
“Who the hell are you?” I bellowed at the two strangers.
Behind me, Jamie stood silent, watching, his death stare trained on the two unknown men. I’d yet to see anyone not cower when he leveled it straight at them.
“Me? This is my goddamn house,” retorted the older one. He’d likely been going for belligerent, but the quiver in his voice gave him away.
The younger of the two dropped his hold on the backpack and stepped back.
“Christ, Kyle, it’s not worth this much bullshit. I’m out.” Without a backward glance, he strode to the front door and slammed it behind him. A poorly tuned engine roared, and seconds later, there was silence again.
Kyle. Micah’s older brother. The one who had abandoned him to foster care because the classes on how not to neglect kids were too much work.
Please don’t let Jamie be right, or I’ll never fucking hear the end of it.
“You’re the boyfriend, huh? Micah’s had lots to say about you,” Kyle sneered.
“I’m sure you’re dying to share what he’s said.”
“It’s all a setup. He was in that shed because we argued, but he got back in touch once he was in the house. Micah’s fucking you over.”
“I’m not!” Micah gasped. “You’re lying.” Micah pushed away and turned so he could look at me directly. Up close, I saw the busted lip, which would likely swell up more, redness around his eye, and the start of a bruise on the side of his cheek. “Daddy, I promise. Yes, tonight I lied about being sick so you’d leave without me, but it was so I could come and tell him I wasn’t giving him any more money.”
“Figures you’re into kinky shit,” Kyle sneered.
“Assuming you want to make it through this in mostly one piece, I suggest you shut your fucking mouth,” Jamie offered blandly. With his dead-eyed stare, his military background became more obvious than usual. He was a threat, and Kyle wisely took his advice.
“We can talk about this later, but we’re leaving for now.”
Micah abruptly nodded but didn’t argue with my decision. I slung his bag over my shoulder, grasped his bicep, and led him out the door. Once we were outside, Kyle immediately began ranting about who was paying for the broken TV. He’d found me once, so he was welcome to come after me for it.
“Da—”
“Micah,” I interrupted, “not now. I’m not ready to talk about any of this.” I looked at his bike propped against the porch and shook my head. “Your bike won’t fit in my car. You’ll have to leave it.”
“It’s fine,” Micah whispered.
We started down the sidewalk, but then Micah came to an abrupt stop and refused to move forward.
“Wait! I need to go back.” Micah’s voice trembled, but the vehemence was clear.
“You want to stay here? What the actual fuck, Micah?”
“Daddy, no, but I need something from the house. I’ve got to try and find it.” Micah wrenched himself free from my grasp and raced back to the house.
“God-fucking-damnit,” I shouted to no one in particular before following him into the house. Kyle was still standing in front of the smashed TV bitching, but Micah was nowhere to be seen.
“Where did he go?” I shouted at him. Jamie came up behind me and darted into what I guessed was the kitchen.
“Get fucked,” Kyle snarled at me, but I immediately lost interest in him when I heard noises from down the hallway at the far side of the room. I followed the sounds until I came to a small bedroom in the back. The room was already a mess, with a broken twin bed, trash, and boxes tossed haphazardly in the corner. Micah was throwing items out of the closet like confetti. When I heard him muttering she has to be here and I’ve got to find her, I realized exactly who he was looking for. His mom.
“Do you remember what the package looks like?”
“A white cardboard box taped shut really tightly.”
Jamie hadn’t followed me, but I hadn’t heard any fighting. He was likely standing guard at the entrance of the hallway to prevent Kyle from following us. We had a little time, but I wanted Micah out of here like yesterday.
Micah continued pawing through items on the closet floor while I went through the upper shelf. Like him, I tossed things aside without worrying where they landed. I pulled down a larger cardboard box and glanced inside.
“This it?” I carefully pulled out the box inside and showed it to Micah.
“Yes, oh my god, yes.” Micah grabbed the heavy box from my hands and clutched it tightly to his chest. “Daddy, please take me home.”
“Let’s clean your face.”
“All right.”
Micah had taken my words to heart and remained quiet for the trip back to the island. I was so damn angry at him, myself, and even Jamie, for maybe being right. Visions of what could have happened rolled through my mind like a movie. It made me nauseous to consider all the possibilities. Why on earth had Micah thought he needed to handle this alone? Why hadn’t he come to me? Of course I was angry, but more than anything, I was mad at myself because I’d failed him. If I had done right by him, Micah would have come to me first.
I dabbed antiseptic on his cut lip and the scrape on his face. The spot where he’d been hit or fallen on his cheek was well on its way to a bruise. When Micah hissed at the contact, I blew gently to ease the sting. “I’m sorry. I know it hurts, little one.” Having him in pain was a punch in the gut.
“Daddy?”
“Yes, baby?”
“I’m so sorry.”
Micah’s dark eyes filled with more tears. His shoulders were hunched to his ears like he’d done something wrong. He didn’t realize it, but only a part of me was angry with him. My more important goal was to protect him, and he had gone off alone rather than come to me. And, fuck me, I was worried that Jamie had been right all along.
“C’mon, let’s grab a shower. It’s been a long night.” Micah allowed me to lead him to the bathroom, strip him out of his soaked clothes, and put him under the hot water. He stood there, letting the water cascade over him.
I poured some shampoo into my hands and gently threaded my fingers through the strands of dark hair. They curled into tight ringlets in the water that bounced into his eyes. Carefully, I guided him back into the spray to rinse the suds out. His loofah had disappeared somewhere, so I used my hands to soap his body. I rubbed the tight muscles in his shoulders, along the planes of his back, and down his legs. He allowed me to turn him, and I repeated the cleansing. His cage was the only thing left.
“Daddy, please leave it on.”
“I can’t do that.”
The cage needed to come off so I could properly wash him and the silicon could dry without trapping moisture. Micah’s shoulders racked with sobs as I used the key on my necklace to free him and used my hands to clean him. There wasn’t anything overtly sexual as I cleaned his cock and balls. Usually, when the cage came off, Micah immediately hardened. Tonight, neither of us was interested in sex.
After the shower, I put Micah in his favorite sleep pants and T-shirt. He tried to hide it, but he was falling asleep on his feet. Every jaw-popping yawn pushed him further down the corridor to unresponsive.
“Daddy, I can sleep in the other room if you want.”
“You belong in my bed.”
“It’s okay. I know you’re upset with me.”
“Stop. Do you want to be in your own bed tonight?” Micah dejectedly shook his head. “Then stop arguing about it. Get in bed.”
I pulled back the covers and motioned for him to crawl in. I followed directly behind him but hauled him back when he tried to move farther away across the bed. “I need you close, little one,” I growled in his ear.
At my words, the tension eased from Micah’s body. He melted into me and sighed deeply.
In my arms was the only place my boy belonged.
“Hello, Elliott? This is Calvin Rutledge…Micah had an accident. He’ll be fine…a little banged up…resting. Thank you…I’ll let him know.”
It was only eight a.m., but I’d gotten up early to call in for Micah today. He didn’t need to be working in the hot kitchen today. After what happened last night, he needed rest, and we both needed to lay our cards on the table. While I was in the office, I moved his mother’s ashes into my office safe until Micah decided what he wanted to do with them.
After the call, I went to the kitchen to prepare a breakfast tray for Micah. He hadn’t eaten before I left in the evening, and it went without saying that he didn’t have anything last night. By now, he must be starving. Thankfully, Nix was off for the weekend, as usual, so I wasn’t forced to explain the funeral mood in the house this morning.
Nix had explained German breakfasts of brotchen and cold cuts to Micah, which had become his instant favorite. After everything, he needed comfort, so I went with it this morning, along with some chopped fruit and his favorite Irish breakfast tea. Hopefully, a quiet breakfast in bed would relax us enough to honestly discuss what happened. I piled everything onto the tray and headed upstairs. Micah was awake, lying on his side and watching the door. His wary gaze was a knife straight to my heart.
“I hope you’re hungry.”
Micah nodded and propped himself up against the headboard. “I’m starving.”
“In that case, I hope you’ll share some with me.”
“Always, Daddy, always.”
I laid the tray across his lap and joined him on the bed. We ate in companionable silence after I put together our breakfast sandwiches. I’d forgotten plates for the fruit, so we ate it directly from the bowl. When we were both stuffed, the conversation we couldn’t put off stared us down.
This stranger had wormed his way into my heart. I loved him and didn’t want to lose him, but I was on the verge of exactly that.
“Are you ready to tell me what happened yesterday?”
The dread was obvious in his eyes. Neither one of us truly wanted to do this.
Micah sighed. “Do you want to start?”
“Yeah, I can. When did you get back in touch with your brother?”
“Do you remember the party where you gave my name to the photographer?” I nodded. “God knows how, but one of Kyle’s friends saw that picture and recognized my name. He showed it to Kyle, and Kyle came over here to look for me. He found your house and watched me for a few days. I guess it was easier to contact me at Wild Fern.”
“How did he contact you there?”
“Stupid me thought the sounds I heard out back by the trash were raccoons or opossums. Nope, just Kyle skulking around in the dark.”
“When did you start giving him money?”
“Like a day or two later,” Micah said ruefully. “Then he kept coming back like a stray cat who was being fed.” Micah paused for a shuddering breath. “He went through my paychecks pretty quickly and I had to start taking the money you put in there.”
“What exactly was your plan last night?”
“I was going to go and make him stop. He was threatening to tell people that you’d practically kidnapped me and I was troubled. It was the kind of story that would go viral in a heartbeat. If I recorded him threatening me and demanding money and he came back again, I’d have some leverage to stop him.”
“That was the whole plan?”
“In hindsight, it needed work.”
“Oh, ya think?”
Micah stayed quiet in the aftermath of my sarcasm.
The question I truly wanted answered lodged in my throat, but I needed to know. “Why did you have sex with me so quickly after you started paying him?”
“When Kyle showed up, I knew he’d find a way to ruin this for me. Before all of this happened, I liked how you were letting me set the pace and explore things with you without the pressure of penetrative sex. But I saw the end was coming, and I couldn’t risk not knowing what it felt like to have you inside me.”
Micah’s shoulders had migrated up again. I reached across and took his hand. I traced along the delicate curves of his splayed fingers.
“It’s never been like this with someone before,” I blurted out.
“Why do you think that is?”
“Because I love you, Micah. I want you to believe this is real and beautiful and forever.”
His mouth formed an O, b ut no sound came out. My heart pounded because, besides my family and Jamie, I’d never spoken those words to anyone. Micah wasn’t the person or the gender I thought would be the love of my life, but now I couldn’t imagine anyone else in that role.
He was my person. Nothing else mattered but Micah being Micah. He worried I hadn’t properly worked through enough angst about being attracted to a man, but Micah was more than his dick, although I damn sure loved that too. It had always been him. I’d said my piece and now it was his turn.
“Daddy, how did you know where I was?”