13. Arthur
Chapter thirteen
Arthur
Chocolate cake
W ill seemed a little distracted on the walk to meet up with his family, and I wondered if he was still thinking about his Tarot reading. While he’d seemed at first to consider the man to be a fraud, something about his reading had seemed to change his mind.
I didn’t think it was a coincidence we’d both drawn the same Tarot card. It was curious, though, how the meaning had changed based on the card’s position.
Gerry didn’t seem to notice anything off about Will’s behavior. Though, that could have been due to the snow globe he’d convinced Will to purchase for him from the shop. The proprietor had wrapped it in some protective material, and Gerry couldn’t seem to look away from the sphere for very long.
In fact, several times, he bumped into others on the street, too busy gazing longingly at his new bauble.
Will followed the directions on his phone, something I found quite useful. When we reached a dimly lit tavern with slow, sultry music sounding from its open doorway, Will pocketed his phone and waved us to follow him inside. A man crooned a song upon a raised platform at the back of the room, and a beam of light illuminated his face before the crowd of people dancing in front of him.
I didn’t understand how his voice was so loud, but the noise sent my pulse racing and my beast wriggling in agitation. My muscles tensed like earlier in the city, and I found myself unable to move forward another step as my gaze turned a hazy red.
But even as the loud music seemed to come at me from all directions, overwhelming me, the dim room lightened, the walls rose higher, and the music shifted to one I remembered fondly.
When I turned my head, Guinevere smiled at me, her brown eyes warm and eager as our court danced with merriment around us, celebrating in our union. Her dark, blue gown swept her ankles, and the crown atop her head gleamed under the candlelight. She clapped her hands and kicked her feet beside me as we danced along with the others in a circle. Lancelot danced on her other side, and she laughed at something he said, though I couldn’t hear it over the sound of the music.
When she turned back to me, she beamed, and I was reminded once again why she was considered the most beautiful woman in all the land. Still, instead of excitement, a drop of panic soured my stomach at the anticipation in her gaze, knowing soon we were meant to consummate our vows.
Dark brows dipped over bright, blue eyes, and Guin’s voice came out low and concerned as she asked, “Dude, are you okay? You don’t look so good.”
I squeezed my eyes shut as past and present blended, realizing I’d lost myself to the memories once again. I didn’t know how to make it stop, to stop seeing the ghosts of my former life and keep my mind firmly in the here and now.
But then there was a touch on my arm.
A wash of calm, like a splash of cool water after a day of riding Llamrei, rushed through me. The memory of my wedding to Guinevere dissipated instantly, and I remembered where I was and whom I was with.
Will sent me a questioning look, but how could I admit that the past had snuck back in? That the level of sound in the room was sending my nerves into a frenzy. I wanted to bolt, to flee the racket, but I didn’t want to look weak.
Cocking his head, his mouth parted as if he were about to ask me a question, but something seemed to catch his attention. Waving their arms in wild, frantic motions, Vincent beckoned us over to where the rest of Will’s family sat around a circular table.
Slipping his soft hand into mine, that was hardened from years of battles and training, Will tugged me in their direction. I liked how his palm felt pressed against my own. How his long fingers twined with mine. How the brush of his magic against me felt like a cool breeze on a sunny day.
And a sinful thought bloomed unbidden in my mind.
Of how those long fingers would feel touching my bare skin. Wrapped around my—what had Will called it earlier? Ah yes, a doodle noodle.
Blue eyes glanced at me, and shame heated my face despite the fact he couldn’t hear my indecent thoughts.
Squeezing my hand and sending a tremble through me, Will pushed through the throng of people with me in tow.
I tried to ignore how crowded the room was as we weaved around tables and chairs to reach the others.
Gerry had already found a seat by Nana Joanne by the time we arrived and was in the process of showing her his snow globe. Tiny candles in glass jars sat in the center of the table, casting it in a soft, orange glow and reflecting off Gerry’s new treasure.
“Hey, you guys,” Vincent said, clapping Will and me on the back. He grinned as he gestured for me to sit down beside him, leaving Will to sit in the last free seat on my other side. “How was shopping?”
Nana Joanne mumbled something I couldn’t make out, but Will scowled at whatever she’d said. She raised her middle finger at him before taking one of the many glasses of water from the table and sipping from it, and I gaped at her in shock for a moment.
Did she not realize the sexual implications of gesturing at someone with your middle finger?
But no one else seemed to care about the phallic gesture, so I averted my gaze and cleared my throat. “I enjoyed it. Will was very kind and purchased me some new clothes. I even found several new pairs of shoes,” I said, pointing to shoes with lots of small holes. Will had called them Crocs. They were quite comfortable.
“You owe me new slippers,” Nana Joanne grumbled to me, making me flush. I had the feeling she still hadn’t forgiven me for the other night when I’d hurt Will. I didn’t blame her for her anger, though.
Besides, I technically still had her slippers, but even though I now owned several new shoes, I didn’t want to give them back to Nana Joanne. They were really soft and colorful.
Will shot her a scathing glare. “There’s no need for that. I already told you I’d buy you new ones.” Will tugged at the bag I’d set on the ground with a grunt, and I helped lift it onto the table. With a nod of thanks, Will grinned around the table. “But clothes and shoes aren’t the only things we found in the city, though.”
When Will shifted the bag to reveal part of the Chessboard, his family all leaned forward in unison, making sounds of awe as they gaped at the Treasure.
“Where was it?” Otto asked, reaching across the table to brush his fingers over one of the board’s corners. A hum vibrated in the air in response to his magical touch, and Otto sat back with his mouth open in reverence.
“A magic shop in town,” Will said, reaching over the table to snag a small basket of bread. Only, his shirt draped over the candle in the center of the table, and in the next instant, the candle’s flame set Will’s shirt aflame.
Will yelped back with a curse, the breadstick bowl still clutched in his hand while he smacked at his shirt with his other.
Grabbing one of the glasses of water, I splashed it on him, satisfied to see the fire extinguish.
Well, I was satisfied until I saw the glum look in Will’s gaze as he stared down at his soggy, smoking shirt. The center of it now bore a small hole. But as distracting as the way the water made his shirt cling to his body was, it was the peek of bare skin through the hole that sent my pulse thundering.
“Damn it, this is one of my only shirts left.” Glancing around as if to make sure no one was watching, Will brushed a lightly glowing hand down the front of his chest.
And I didn’t know what he’d intended to happen, but I was sure it wasn’t for the shirt to rip down the center from top to bottom.
If I found it hard to think straight from just a hole in his shirt, it was nothing compared to the view of his full chest now on display.
Will said some colorful words as he grabbed both sides of his shirt and tugged them shut.
Gerry looked scandalized. “Lord Will, it is incredibly indecent to be tearing your clothes off right now. And with a boner! Have you no shame?”
“It’s not even my boner,” Will muttered, pulling out the newly liberated prick from his pocket.
The table stared. Will flushed.
“Is there a reason you’re carrying around a dick in your jeans?” Otto asked, then frowned. “Well, a different dick.”
“I hate you all,” Will growled. Then he eyed the bags with my new clothes, and all I could think was mine, mine, mine. “Would you mind if I borrowed one of your new shirts?”
My eyebrow twitched, but I forced myself to grab one of the bags. “Yes.”
“Yes you mind? Or yes I can borrow a shirt?”
“Yes.”
Will stared at me in confusion.
I started to sweat as I dug through the bags, searching for one I wouldn’t mind parting with for now. Because we could do this. For Will.
But it was hard! Because apparently, I really did mind.
Shoving away my territorial urges even as the beast within paced, I finally plucked one out at random and handed it over. Then gazed in horror.
Oh, no! That was my fifth-favorite shirt!
Will thanked me before he ripped the small, shiny piece of paper hanging on the sleeve off like a barbarian.
A growl crawled up my throat, making him pause for a moment. Then he gently placed the paper down in front of me.
I was still agitated until Will tugged the shirt over his head.
Because when I saw him dressed in my shirt, the beast purred in contentment and all my irritation melted away.
And that’s when I realized everyone was watching us.
Clearing his throat, Will scooted closer to the table. “Did you guys order already?”
“No, we were waiting for you three,” Dorothy assured us.
Grabbing a couple glossy papers from the table, Will handed one to me. I couldn’t read it, and the thought must have crossed Will’s mind because he stilled with the paper outstretched. But still, he set it in front of me and then subtly shifted his chair closer to mine.
Leaning in close so the others couldn’t hear, Will began reading off the menu to me.
He listed the name and what was in each dish, but by the third item, I’d already lost track of what was what.
Still, I let Will read over the rest of the menu, appreciating that he’d gone out of his way to do this for me.
When the server came around and asked us what we’d like to eat, I ordered one of the first dishes Will had mentioned.
And that’s how I discovered the miracle that was a mushroom swiss cheeseburger and chips.
I moaned as I devoured the food, barely coming up for air. I savored every bite, wondering if this could possibly make up for the last 1,500 years of pain.
It couldn’t, but it definitely made me feel a little better about it all.
Will’s eyes were bright with joy as he eyed me polishing off my plate, and I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face as I licked the grease from my fingers.
It. Was. Glorious .
Vincent introduced me to pi?a coladas, and I changed my mind and decided that these were definitely the best thing about the modern age. Because I had never tasted anything like it.
After three pi?a coladas and something Vincent called a mai tai, the music didn’t seem so loud anymore. With the alcohol swimming in my veins, I was finally able to relax back in my chair.
I enjoyed watching Will’s family joke and jest with one another around the table as the night wore on. There were several times where I spotted Nana Joanne using her magic to steal cheesy chips from the dish called nachos on Vincent’s plate. Dorothy was clapping and singing along to the musician, apparently recognizing whatever song he was singing. Otto was swiping through pictures and words on his phone. Will was talking to Vincent about tomorrow and how we were going to fit everyone in the car.
Then there was Gerry, who was gazing down at his fish and chips so forlornly.
“I miss Gerry. Jr. Jr.,” he cried, swiping at tears with a black handkerchief. “Jessica better be taking good care of him.”
“Who’s Jessica?” Otto asked, scooping a chip into some red sauce he’d squeezed out of a bottle.
I wished I had tried that before eating all of my chips.
Gerry sighed dramatically. “My 55th-least-favorite sister.”
I raised an eyebrow at that, sure I had heard wrong.
Because just how many sisters did he have?
After I finished up my mai tai, the server returned carrying several trays of something brown, bready, and gooey. The outside was coated in something slick and a couple shades darker than the inside.
The others didn’t wait to dig into the food. And Will barely managed to snatch up the last plate before Gerry pounced on it.
He stared at Gerry, and without saying a word, Gerry pouted and sat back with the two plates he’d already managed to snag.
Sitting back down, Will cleared his throat and offered me the plate. “Here you go. Sorry my family is so rude.”
Several people around the table raised their middle fingers at him.
I really didn’t understand why everyone kept giving him such a sexually aggressive gesture.
But that ceased to matter as the meaning of life landed on my tongue.
“What is this?” I moaned, scooping up another morsel. Then another.
Will’s eyes followed the path of my fork to my mouth, watching as I licked every prong free of the treat.
“Chocolate cake,” he said. Or maybe choked would have been a better word. Because he sounded almost strangled.
I eyed him curiously as I brought another forkful of chocolate cake to my lips. He stared at me as I ate my next bite too, and I hesitated.
I realized I had been incredibly rude. “Forgive me.” Halting the progression of the last bite of cake, I held it out to Will. “Did you... Did you want some?”
His throat bobbed as he swallowed, and instead of answering he simply leaned forward for a taste.
When his mouth closed over my fork, closing over the same spot mine had moments before, something hot and hungry writhed beneath my skin.
I knew what it was called. I just didn’t dare give it a name.
A soft moan passed Will’s lips as he backed up, and his head tipped back with pleasure. His eyes closed as he savored the cake.
My hand mangled my fork as I watched his tongue dart out and lick a bit of chocolate from the corner of his mouth.
Had the room gotten warmer or something?
Will smiled when he opened his eyes again, but that smile faltered when his gaze fell to my hand.
Because without realizing it, I’d completely bent the fork in half.
Clearing my throat, I set it down next to my empty plate.
When I glanced back at Will, he was staring at me with an unreadable expression. But then he nodded pointedly to where couples were dancing, their bodies almost writhing together in a carnal and indecent way. “Wanna dance?”
It took me a moment to realize he meant with him. “Together?”
He laughed. “Yes, Arthur. I meant together.”
“Wouldn’t it be strange?” I asked, licking my lips as nerves and curiosity collided at the prospect. “The two of us dancing so intimately?”
“Because we’re both men?”
“Yes.”
“It’s just dancing.” He shrugged. “Why? Worried a dance will turn you gay?”
“No, I just—” I struggled to voice what I wanted to say as I stared out at the crowd. And indeed, there were multiple pairings of men with men or women dancing with women. It wasn’t that we didn’t dance with the same sex in my time. But we were usually in groups or just danced alone. Nothing so sensual as what I could see. “Two men dancing so... erotically would have been frowned upon, sinful even.”
Will smiled, but it was tight and I knew I’d said the wrong thing. “This is the 21st century, Arthur. A lot has changed in regards to same-sex relationships, a lot hasn’t. But while there are still those in the world who frown upon it, it’s more widely accepted. Gay people have always been around, and our attraction is not wrong because a book says so.”
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t... I didn’t mean...” I grunted in frustration as I tried to find the right words. But no matter how hard I searched, the words escaped me. “Let’s dance.”
“You really don’t have to,” he said, and there was a distance between us now that I didn’t know how to cross. We’d had an enjoyable day today, and I hadn’t meant to upset him. “Really, I can just ask someone else.”
And I... I didn’t like that. Neither did the beast, it seemed, because a snarl made its way up my throat at the thought of another man touching him, holding him.
“No,” I said, voice full of growl, making Will’s eyes widen in surprise at the hint of the predator. “I’d love to dance with you.”
“You okay?” he asked uncertainly.
“Never been better,” I lied. Because how could I tell him the thought of another man’s hands on his body had riled me so much that I was struggling to keep a leash on my demon.
“Okaaay,” he said slowly, unconvinced. But he held out his hand to me, almost like a challenge. “Then let’s dance, Your Majesty.”
Twining our fingers, I let Will drag me into the crowd of dancers.
“This is modern dancing?” I asked, squinting hard at the bodies moving to the unfamiliar music.
Will laughed, and my attention snapped to him. His eyes were bright and warm, and I loved the way the corners crinkled when he smiled.
“Yes,” he said. “Not a fan?”
My eyebrows drew close. “No, it’s not that.” I glanced again at the people dancing. “It’s just different from what I’m used to.”
Will shifted out of the corner of my eye. He moved to stand in front of me, blocking out the dancing behind him. He wiggled his eyebrows at me. “Want to learn some modern dance moves?”
I peered around him as one person slowly bobbed their head forward and back like a chicken. “I don’t know. Is that what you’re planning to teach me?”
Laughing, Will didn’t respond. Instead, he dragged me deeper into the crowd. My heart leapt into my throat as he pulled me in toward the center of the dancers, keeping our fingers linked. Because I decided I really liked the feel of Will’s hand in mine.
A lot. Maybe too much.
“I don’t know what to do,” I admitted softly, studying the other pairings as if I might gain insight.
Will’s left hand slipped up my arm to settle on my shoulder. His right hand found my left, and he gently linked our fingers. Energy seemed to thrum at each place he touched me, sending tingles up and down my spine.
He smiled up at me. “Now put your other hand on my waist.”
Why was it so warm in this room? I shouldn’t be so flushed considering the cool wind slipping in through the open restaurant door.
Then, carefully, I curved my hand around his hip, resisting the urge to pull him closer. Will smiled encouragingly at me and nodded his chin down at our feet. “Good. Now follow me.”
I watched as he stepped to the side with his first foot, then followed it with the second. He moved a couple of steps to the left, then a couple to the right. It was easy enough to follow, and he grinned as I managed to keep up.
But then I went and stepped on his foot.
“I’m sorry,” I said, starting to pull away.
But Will only held on tighter, refusing to let me escape. “Relax, big guy. You didn’t hurt me. Having my feet stepped on is a normal part of my day.”
“Because of your curse.”
He hummed in acknowledgement. “Yes. I’m actually surprised I have any feeling left in my feet anymore, if I’m being completely honest.”
“Why would you not be honest about that?” I asked, puzzled.
“What? Oh, it’s just an expression,” he admitted.
And I felt silly because I still didn’t understand. “Oh.”
I stared into his eyes as he started moving again to the song, and after a moment more of hesitation, I did the same.
The notes of the music were slow and hypnotic, and I stared down at my feet to make sure I wasn’t stepping on Will’s toes again.
But then his hand was under my chin, urging me to look at him.
His blue eyes danced with light, and I lost myself in their endless pools.
Slowly, the hand beneath my chin stroked down the curve of my neck. Will didn’t look away as he smoothed his palm down my sternum, letting it rest there and feel my frantic heartbeat.
“See,” he said, grinning at me and displaying those dimples at the corners of his mouth. “You’re a natural.”
I did see.
I saw a man with raven hair and ocean eyes who had risked his life to save mine. I saw the goodness in his heart, the kindness in his smile.
I saw him. Will. The man I thought and dreamed about incessantly while frozen in stone.
But he wasn’t only in my dreams now. He was here with me, and he was so warm . And even though my own body burned with his closeness, I couldn’t help but pull him a little closer.
We danced like that through several songs, all of them slow and alluring. I was being selfish by allowing this. I was a mess. A king with no home or people of his own. A king in name alone.
But I couldn’t help but allow myself this moment to be selfish.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, breath fanning against my neck. My pulse quickened, and little tingles skittering down my spine. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt this... Well, this content. We still had the weight of my curse upon our shoulders, but in this brief moment in time, dancing in a tiny tavern, our problems didn’t feel so crushing.
My nose brushed against his hair, and I inhaled the hint of smoke and rain. Like a fire doused by a storm. “What for?”
His fingers tightened, nails lightly scratching my neck. “That it took so long for someone to rescue you.”
I mulled his words over, my thoughts drifting to the days where I thought I’d go mad from the pain and loneliness of my stone prison. “I think,” I started slowly, choosing my words carefully, “we don’t always understand why Fate sets us upon certain paths. But I think Fate wanted me to be saved by you.”
He pulled back so he could study my face, and if it weren’t for the last 1,500 years of practicing my... poker face, Nana Joanne had called it, he probably would have noticed how vulnerable I felt under his scrutiny.
“Fate, not God?”
“I fear I’m not sure I believe in God anymore,” I said, perhaps a little harsher than I’d intended.
He nodded as if that made sense. “I’ve always wondered if there was a God, how could He allow such horrors to happen in the world? But sometimes,” he said carefully, “I think of how there needs to be a balance. Sometimes, it just feels like the bad outweighs the good.”
“That doesn’t seem very fair,” I pointed out.
“No, it doesn’t.” Will smiled sadly. “But I think you’ve more than earned some goodness after what you’ve gone through.”
A seed of hope threatened to plant itself within me at his words, wondering if it was possible to hope for more. To hope that the horrors of the past could be finished and I’d finally find joy once more.
I gazed at him, wondering if maybe, possibly, he was the good he spoke of.
The song slowed as it came to an end, and even as the room around us clapped their applause for the band’s performance, Will and I remained as we were, staring at each other.
And I couldn’t stop that seed of hope from taking root deeper inside my heart even if I tried.
The slice of a steel sword landed beside my head, the blade only missing me by inches as it clanked against the stone wall.
All around, my soldiers warred amongst each other—knight against knight, friend against friend. Cries of anger, betrayal, and exertion echoed down the passageway as each side fought with all their might. The techniques drilled into these men were thwarted by the narrow space that trapped us, but despite their limitations, what seemed like endless amounts of bodies continued to fall as their blood watered the ground.
I grunted as the man before me swung his sword again, and I barely managed to lift my own to block his attack. Blood trickled from my nose as I glared into the eyes of the man I once called friend. The man I thought I could trust with my life.
That was before he fell in love with my wife. Had tried to take her from me.
Lancelot’s sword whistled through the air as he came at me again, his teeth clenched in determination. The dark hair above his brow stuck to his skin, and his gaze held no warmth, no mercy or hesitation. Fury washed through me as I was forced to retreat backward until my feet stumbled over the steps leading to one of the castle’s towers.
Even though I despised myself for it, I bolted up the steps with Lancelot’s breath hot at my neck. My vision danced with red, my curse threatening to consume me. The raging beast beneath my skin roared for me to release it. Set it free. End this battle with everyone’s blood. Every inch of my flesh itched and stung as if droves of tiny, stinging insects feasted on my skin. The pain was nearly unbearable to think through.
Grinding my teeth, I held the curse at bay, refusing to give in to the demon’s demands again. I’d seen what it was capable of. The destruction it had caused. Its death toll would be nearly incomprehensible.
God help us if it managed to possess me again. I wasn’t sure if I could find the strength to take back control. It was stronger now. A looming evil at the back of my mind and replacing my blood with its ichor.
All because I’d broken that damned promise.
“There is nowhere to run!” Lancelot shouted after me, making me halt my steps.
My breathing came harsh and stilted, and sweat drenched into my hair and my clothes beneath my armor. I was tired, but I couldn’t allow Lancelot to abscond from his punishment.
But Lancelot did not attack like I thought. Instead, he watched me from several steps below, a hardness to his eyes I wasn’t used to.
“Dost thou love her?” he asked.
I sneered at him. “Of course I love her!”
“But art thou in love with her?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes, it matters! Because I would give her the world if she asked. My heart beats faster when she is near, and my very soul aches with longing when we are apart. Can thou sayest the same?”
I couldn’t answer. Because I didn’t feel that way when I looked upon my wife. She was beautiful, I knew, and I treasured her companionship. But my heart did not flutter when I looked upon her, nor did my skin light up at her touch. But though there was no romance between us, there were covenants made before God that were to be upheld.
“We made vows before God!”
“Damn thy vows to God!” he shouted, shocking me at his vile words. “Wouldst thou put thy vows to God above her happiness?” At my silence, he sneered at me in disgust before turning his back on me, a clear insult. “Then thou dost not deserve her.”
“Do not turn thy back on me!”
“Take thy men and leave, Arthur. I think thou hast more pressing matters to tend to than your quarrel with me ...”
I bolted awake, my heart throbbing with each rapid beat. Rubbing at my aching chest, I scanned my dark surroundings, wondering where I was and...
My gaze landed on the form tucked into the bed across from mine, and all thoughts ceased as I took in Will’s sleeping face.
His lips were parted slightly, and soft puffs of air sounded in the dim room. His hair fanned over his pillow, and his eyelids twitched with dreams.
That ache inside lessened as I continued to watch him, so calm and peaceful in sleep. He looked so untroubled, though I knew that wasn’t the case. His entire world had been uprooted so he could save me.
Quietly, so as not to disturb him, I slipped out of my bed. The cold from the floorboards seeped into my bare feet, and I quickly wiggled them into my stolen slippers.
I grinned down at the fluffy unicorn heads, wiggling them a little to make their fuzzy hair flop around.
Outside, the sounds of merriment continued, even this late in the night. At least, according to the... sundial hanging on the wall. I’d have to ask Will what it was called again later.
Padding across the room, I slipped past the curtains and opened the bedroom window. A trellis cloaked in lush ivy covered this side of the house, and after testing the structure to make sure it could hold my weight, I scaled it up to the roof. I felt much better once I reached the top of the building and the breeze blew around me. It reminded me that I was here, alive and free.
And as I stared out at the glittering lights, I wondered if I would ever truly be free from my guilt.