Chapter 9
Dallas
Dallas shoved his research journal into his pack and headed toward the cabin. It had been two weeks since he’d gotten up the courage to get onto his ATV and head to the house.
Initially, he’d told himself he was going to spill everything. Camilla’s life being threatened had been more than enough to give him a sharp dose of reality. It was two weeks later and he still got surges of adrenaline thinking about how close that wolf had been to launching at her.
He shook off the trepidation that memory still contained.
The whole drive back to the house, he’d told himself that Camilla deserved to know how he felt about her. She deserved to know that he still wanted her—that he was willing to put his hat in the ring when it came to her and she should give him another chance.
But then he caught sight of her boyfriend. And he’d read the disgust written so clearly in his sister’s eyes.
He’d made mistakes and he wasn’t worthy of Camilla’s love. Maybe in the future. But right now? He had a lot of making up to do.
So he’d settled on not disrupting her life.
Not again.
And he’d spoken the words as he thrust the dagger of pain right into his chest.
Friendship.
After a whirlwind romance with the woman of his dreams, he’d been reduced to nothing more than a friend who could be there for her. Maybe it was all he deserved.
Dallas stepped over a shrub and ducked beneath a low-hanging branch. The closer he got to the cabin, the closer he’d get to her. He’d leave his stuff and head over to the main house.
Jason had offered the invite for him to eat with the other wranglers at Winding Creek, and as much as it pained him to be brought into the fold by the man currently holding Camilla’s heart, he wasn’t going to deny himself.
If he was lucky, he’d be able to spend some one-on-one time with her before dinner while her boyfriend was occupied. And though he’d never be with a woman that was taken, was it such a bad thing that he was excited about the notion of stealing some of her precious time during the day?
Regardless if it was, he’d still be doing it, even if it meant they could only be friends.
Camilla had changed over the last seven years, and he was bound and determined to get to know the person she’d become.
Dallas shoved a piece of paper toward Camilla and watched her reaction carefully. When he’d gone into research, he’d gotten better at the sketches he used to draw. He wasn’t Van Gogh by any means, but he could draw out simple images of plant life and animal tracks for his journals.
Camilla eyed him skeptically before opening the paper.
For two weeks they’d been spending spurts of time together.
Two weeks of avoiding topics like love and dating.
Two weeks and she was finally looking at him like he hadn’t torn her heart from her chest and started it on fire.
Her eyes widened and she gasped. “Dallas! Did you draw this?”
One side of his mouth quirked upward, and he nodded.
“It’s beautiful,” she whispered, her fingers tracing the shaded lines of the Colorado blue columbine flower. He didn’t know what her favorite wildflower was, but this was his and he’d gotten pretty good at it if he said so himself.
Dallas beamed when she set her gaze on him again. “I can’t believe you drew this.”
“Believe it,” he said, fighting the urge to fidget under her stare.
She’d invited him along with her to finish up her chores, and now they were wandering down a trail that wouldn’t take them too far off the property.
Soon, they’d turn back and head for dinner.
His time with her would be coming to an end today.
“This is amazing,” she said, staring at the picture again. “Did you learn how to do this at college?”
He nodded. “A little here and there.”
“Do you draw other things?”
She attempted to offer the picture back, but he waved her off.
“I want you to have it.” Boy, he sounded childish.
Looking away, he focused on what she’d asked him.
“Just the stuff I need to put in my research. But I’m really not that great.
Most of the time, I take pictures. The digital age has really upped our game.
” He smirked at her, and she smiled back.
“What was your college internship like?”
Geez. Wasn’t he supposed to be asking her questions? He’d wanted to get to know the real her, and lately, she’d successfully avoided speaking much about herself. He cut her a look out of the corner of his eye. “Honestly? It was… lonely.”
She frowned.
This was where he could ask her why she didn’t call. Why she didn’t write. He’d given her that letter—a peace offering of sorts. He’d practically begged her to reach out to him when she found it in her heart to do so.
But he wasn’t going to do that now. The letter and everything he’d asked of her was in the past. Besides, if he brought up the letter, she’d have every right to turn the conversation around on him and demand to know why he hadn’t told her face-to-face.
Boy, he wished he had. Maybe then he would have been able to force something from her.
“I didn’t make many friends. I was so intent on getting through the program as quickly as possible.
” Mostly to come home for her. “I figured I wouldn’t be sticking around long anyway if things went the way I hoped.
” His words hung in the air like a live bomb, ready to explode.
Dallas blew out a breath. “I was there for one reason. To be…” He nearly said to be a man deserving of you, but he bit his tongue and tried again.
“I wanted to be better. I knew I needed to become someone I could be proud of.” That was as close to the truth as he could get—the truth of why he’d left at all.
Camilla tilted her head, a contemplative expression on her face. She didn’t say anything, and he wanted nothing more than to demand she speak her mind. When she made it clear she really wouldn’t say a word, he pushed past the growing disappointment.
“What about you? Did you end up going to some training school to help you work with dogs?”
A genuine smile filled her face. For the first time since he’d arrived, he allowed himself to take pride in the fact that he’d brought that smile out.
“Yeah,” she said. “Not college in a traditional sense. Not even a school, really. There was a guy—” Camilla stumbled over her words, her eyes snagging with his, making it clear there might have been a relationship between them.
Was he the reason she smiled? Had he been good to her?
Dallas had to bite back the jealousy that threatened to overtake his good mood and ruin the progress he’d made with Camilla today.
She cleared her throat and shifted somewhat. “He was a dog trainer at one of the pet stores. The summer before he moved, he trained me. It was some of the most fun I ever had.”
Even with his throat thick, he wouldn’t have been able to hold back the question demanding to be asked. “Were you two…”
She blinked.
Geez, she wasn’t going to make this easy on him. “… Involved.”
Camilla looked away. “We went on a date…” Was she uncomfortable talking about it?
Wait. Did she say a date?
Singular?
The way his heart thrashed in his chest at this confession probably indicated just how bad he was doing in his quest to befriend the girl at his side while also keeping her at arm’s length romantically.
Biting back a grin, he nodded and looked away. “And you continued to build on that talent of yours?”
She looked almost relieved that he didn’t pressure her for more information, and the guilt that came with that sentiment soured in his stomach. “Yeah. The only good thing that came out of meeting him was my love for training dogs. I can’t see myself doing anything else.”
While her confession was innocent enough, it struck a chord.
Camilla was happy here. She loved training the dogs they bred at her ranch. There might have been a time when she would have been willing to consider a different path for her future, but now? There was no way he would be able to convince her to move around with him.
He scoffed at himself for even considering that thought.
She was dating someone else. There was no use in wondering “what if.” They could be friends.
Nothing more. He’d lost that chance, squandering any opportunity he might have had with her when he’d made a decision alone that should have included them both.
Dallas was a glutton for punishment. That was the only way to explain why he was seated at the back of the room where all the employees were fed.
It looked like a mess hall of sorts—one large room with several tables and a linoleum floor.
There was a window leading to the kitchen area that could be closed off by two doors, but right now, it was open.
The main cook—Mateo’s wife, Nikki—was handing trays of food through the opening so the men could place them at the buffet-style table.
It wasn’t Nikki or the men Dallas was interested in watching.
Well, not the men in general.
He had his sights set on Camilla and her boyfriend. Cheyenne had begged him to stay away. She’d told him if he still cared for Camilla, he needed to put distance between them so Camilla could be happy with the man she chose.
But it was the strangest thing. The longer he watched, the harder it became to see these two together. They were friendly, sure. But they didn’t act like they were in love.
What was he thinking? Just because they were dating didn’t mean they had found that love. Just because he’d fallen in love with Camilla the second he’d laid eyes on her didn’t mean Jason would be the same. He was an idiot if he didn’t, but maybe that could work in Dallas’s favor.
No.
Dallas wasn’t going to be that guy. He refused to be the thing that came between Camilla and her happiness.
He tore his eyes away from the scene of the two people chatting. They were smiling—but Camilla’s smile was nothing like the one she used to give him.
Was she even happy?
Slowly, he let his focus shift back to the couple but found they weren’t where they’d been when he’d forced himself to look away. He straightened in his seat and swept the room for any sign of them. He caught sight of Jason in the kitchen behind that window, but he didn’t see Camilla.
Until it was too late.
A plate of food was placed in front of him and Camilla took a seat across the table. She glanced up at him, then down to her food. “Eat up while it’s hot. Nikki is an amazing cook. If you’re not going to take advantage of her food often, you’re gonna want to enjoy it at its peak.”
He stared at her, drinking her in. The conflicting thoughts about Camilla, her boyfriend, and the fact that she’d served him up a plate warred with each other in his head.
Dallas could ask her why she wasn’t eating with her boyfriend or why Jason hadn’t come over here to eat with them, but when his attention flicked to the man himself, Dallas found him still working.
“Well? Are you just going to sit there staring? Or are you going to get some food? I’m more than happy to give it to—” Camilla had made a show of reaching for the plate, but Dallas blocked her. She bit back a smile and retrieved the fork she’d put aside.
“Thank you,” Dallas said quietly.
“You’re welcome.”