Chapter 4
Crossing The Line
Colin pushed through the door to Rainier Clinic with the loose, easy energy that came from winning a motion to dismiss before lunch. No classes. No meetings. Just an unexpected window of freedom and a husband who probably needed rescuing from a stack of mindless paperwork.
He took the entryway stairs two at a time, nodded to the receptionist, and headed down the familiar hallway to Joshua’s office. The door was half-open—Joshua’s usual signal that he was working but interruptible.
Colin knocked once and stepped inside. “Hey, bud. You hungry?”
Joshua looked up from his laptop, and his face did that complicated dance Colin loved. Surprise first—his eyes widening, mouth curving into a smile. Then happiness—and more. Genuine, unfettered joy at seeing Colin in the middle of a workday.
Then Joshua’s gaze flicked to his laptop screen. Back to Colin. Back to the screen. He stood abruptly, a little too abruptly, like he’d been caught doing something that would get him into Colin-type trouble.
“Hey!” Joshua said, his voice bright but slightly higher than usual. “What are you doing here? I’m surprised to see you. Glad. But surprised.”
Colin stepped further into the office, closing the door behind him. “Motion to dismiss got granted. Judge barely let the plaintiff’s attorney finish his opening statement before she shut it down.” He grinned. “So, I thought I’d spring you for lunch. Unless you’re busy?”
“No! I mean… yes. I mean”— Joshua ran a hand through his hair, glancing at the laptop again—“I’m not busy. Lunch sounds great.”
Colin tilted his head, studying him. “Josh…” Colin drawled, his voice rising at the end—an unmistakable note of concern.
“What?”
“You’re doing the thing.”
“What thing?”
“The thing where you look at me, then look away, then look at me again like you’re trying to decide whether to tell me or hide the body.”
Joshua gave a soft laugh, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m not hiding a body.”
“You’re hiding something.”
For a moment, Joshua just stood there, fingers drumming against the edge of his desk. Then he sighed and gestured at the laptop. “I was working on the route. Going through emails from counselors, ministers, librarians—people who responded to the outreach.”
Colin crossed his arms, leaning against the doorframe. “Okay. That’s good, right? We need that information.”
“Yeah. It is good. We’ve got some really solid contacts. Farmville’s locked in—Kyle’s excited. Abingdon’s got a community theater that wants to host us.” He glanced up at Colin. “That’ll have Nate doing the dance of joy.”
Colin smiled and nodded. “And?”
“Well, Emporia has a High School and a history teacher who’s dying to meet us. Smithfield’s got a community center and a coordinator who’s all in.”
“That’s all great, baby,” Colin said slowly. “So why do you look like you just got an audit notice from the IRS?”
Joshua bit his lip. Looked at the laptop. Looked at Colin.
“Goddammit, Josh!”
“There’s one town—Wise—that has me concerned.”
Colin’s shoulders tensed. “Concerned… how?”
“There’s a librarian there. She reached out about a week ago, said she runs an LGBTQ+ support group for a small group of kids who really need our support. No other resources within an hour’s drive. She’s willing to host us in the library’s community room.”
“Okay. So what’s the problem?”
Joshua hesitated. “She told me there’s some... resistance in the town. To the ‘LGBTQ+ agenda,’ as she put it.”
Colin straightened. “Define resistance.”
“A couple of parents. A few vocal ones who’ve been making noise at school board meetings, that kind of thing.”
“Josh—”
“But the librarian wants us there anyway,” Joshua said quickly. “She told me the kids need it. She thinks we could make a real difference.”
Colin exhaled slowly, forcing himself to stay calm. “What else did she say?”
Joshua’s jaw tightened. “Well, there’s one parent who is her primary concern.
A father. His gay daughter, Hannah, is part of her group.
She said the parents separated right after the girl came out because of his reaction.
The mom is fully supportive and involved.
He’s the problem.” He shot Colin a sidelong glance.
“Before they separated, he was arrested for assault against the mom.”
The room went very still.
Colin stared at him, and when he spoke, his voice was a low, deadly monotone. “Arrested for assault.”
“Yes.” Joshua drew in a quick breath. “He’s never touched the girl, though he has scared her. There’s a restraining order in place.”
Colin nodded, lips pressed tight together. “And you were seriously considering putting this town on our route.”
“Colin—”
“No.” Colin pushed off the doorframe, his voice hardening. “Absolutely not. We’re not going to Wise.”
“Colin, these are the kids who need us most,” Joshua said, his own voice rising. “You heard what I just said—these kids are completely isolated. If we don’t go, no one will.”
“And if that father shows up with a baseball bat, no one will be helping anyone,” Colin shot back.
“Jesus, Josh. We’re talking about a town where someone’s already been arrested for assault, and you want to roll in with a rainbow flag and a support circle?
Do you have any idea how fast that could go sideways? ”
“I know it’s risky—”
“Risky?” Colin’s laugh was sharp. “More like reckless. That’s us walking into a situation we can’t control, with a violent man waiting in the wings.”
Joshua drew in a deep breath, then walked to his office door and closed it. He took another breath before turning to face Colin. “We can take precautions—”
“What precautions?” Colin demanded. “What are you going to do, frisk everyone at the door? Run background checks on every parent in town? We don’t have that kind of infrastructure, Josh. We’re three guys, a bus, and a prayer. That’s it.”
Joshua’s hands clenched into fists at his sides. “This girl needs us, Colin. She’s probably scared to death and overwhelmed with guilt knowing her parents separated because she’s gay! So, what then? We just abandon her? Abandon them?”
“That’s not what I said—“
“It’s exactly what you said!” Joshua blurted, voice cracking.
“You’re saying we should only go where it’s safe.
Where it’s comfortable. Where we don’t have to worry about getting hurt.
But those aren’t the kids who need us, Colin.
The kids who need us are the ones in places like Wise, where no one else will show up.
It’s not the town’s fault that one guy who lives there is an abusive jerk! ”
Colin took a breath, trying to rein himself in. “I didn’t say it was the whole town’s fault. And I’m not suggesting we abandon anyone. I’m saying we don’t put ourselves—or the kids—in danger.”
“Alex isn’t going to Wise,” Joshua said immediately. “I marked it as a no-go for him from the start.”
“Good. Because if you think I’m letting a fourteen-year-old walk into a town meeting that comes equipped with a violent homophobe, you’ve lost your damn mind.
” Colin crossed his arms. “I don’t want any of us walking into it.
But I meant the kids who’ll be at our workshop.
How do we keep them safe?” He shook his head. “No, Josh. We’re not going to Wise.”
Joshua’s face flushed. “You can’t make that call unilaterally.”
“The hell I can’t. You told me I get final say–in fact, you promised. And this is me saying: Wise is off the table.”
Joshua’s voice, when he spoke again, was quieter but no less intense. “You know what this reminds me of?”
“What?”
“It reminds me of the times you’ve told me how it breaks your heart that you couldn’t be there for me when I was little.” Joshua’s words were slow and careful. “That you couldn’t be there to protect me when my dad was hurting me.”
Colin’s teeth clenched, and his hands balled into fists. “Goddammit, Josh, that’s just not fair!”
“Isn’t it?”
“No! It’s not!” He spun away with an angry hiss. “You’re using my feelings to manipulate me!”
The words landed between them like a stone.
Joshua’s expression softened, just slightly.
“Colin—honey—I’m not trying to manipulate you.
I’m trying to explain to you why it’s so important to me that we do go to Wise.
” He clutched his husband’s arm. “You were right! I had no one! But we can be there for that man’s daughter! We can be there for her!”
“For forty-eight fucking hours! What the hell good will that do, Josh?”
“Because it won’t be just forty-eight hours!
You’ve seen my Outreach Playbook! We’re going there to build something that’ll be there for her long after we’re gone.
It could make all the difference in her life, Colin.
” He captured Colin’s face between his palms, then kissed him with infinite gentleness—infinite love.
“You couldn’t do it for me, my darling. But you can do it for her. ”
“Do you have any idea what it would do to me if anything happened to you?” Colin’s voice was rough now, barely controlled.
“On my watch? If we walked into that town and some asshole decided he didn’t like what we were doing and took a swing at you?
Or worse, pointed a fucking gun at the ‘queer’ who’s trying to corrupt his daughter? ”
“That’s not going to happen—”
“You can’t promise me that, Josh!” Colin snapped, hands shaking. He shoved them into his pockets. “And I can’t—” His voice broke. “Understand me, Josh. I can’t lose you, too. I wouldn’t survive it.”
Joshua’s hands moved to grip Colin’s arms. “You’re not going to lose me.”
“You don’t know that,” Colin repeated, quieter now.