Chapter 7
SEVEN
The words hung in the air between us like a challenge I’d just thrown down, and I waited for the regret to hit me. Waited for that familiar voice in my head to tell me this was crossing every line I’d ever drawn for myself.
But the regret never came.
Instead, all I felt was a fierce, possessive satisfaction at the way Ava’s eyes widened, at the sharp intake of breath that made her lips part. She was staring at me like she was waiting for me to laugh and tell her I was kidding.
I wasn’t.
I felt a low, heavy hum of rightness that started deep in my chest and vibrated down to my fingertips. It was a focused certainty that this was the only move that mattered.
It was reckless as hell—probably the most reckless thing I’d ever done, and I’d once jumped off a twenty-foot cliff into the river on a dare when I was sixteen.
But I couldn’t find it in me to care about the potential consequences.
Not when I saw red just thinking about her finding someone else to check off this list with.
There was no way anyone would take care of her like I would.
“You…what?” she whispered, her voice barely audible.
“I’ll help you check off every item on that list,” I said, stepping closer—close enough that I could smell her perfume.
It was a soft mix of vanilla and cinnamon like the most mouth-watering cookie in the world, with just the faintest hint of strawberry underneath that had to be from the shampoo she used.
“You know I have the skills to make it good for you.”
Her tongue darted out across her lower lip, and I traced the movement with my eyes, my pants growing tight at the sudden thought of other things she could do with that tongue.
I’d never allowed myself to think of her like this.
Okay, that wasn’t entirely true.
She was gorgeous and you’d have to be fucking blind not to notice.
And I definitely wasn’t blind.
I’d kept a respectful distance since her brother had been my best friend and I’d seen her through every awkward and adorable stage of her life.
But the pull to her was like a rubber band being pulled taut, and that list had been the thing to make me snap.
Her mouth opened and closed like she was trying to form words but couldn’t quite manage it. I watched emotions flicker across her face—surprise, desire, panic—and I could practically see the war happening behind her eyes.
“Liam,” she finally managed, shaking her head. “We can’t.”
“Why not?”
She stared at me like I’d well and truly lost my mind. “Well, for starters because you’re Drew’s best friend.”
I shrugged. “So? He wouldn’t need to know.
This is just for your list. You want to check it off and I don’t want you doing it with some douchecanoe like Chris.
You deserve to know how special you are and have a good time.
Be honest—you really think you’d try half those things with someone you don’t trust? ”
Her cheeks flared pink, but she didn’t break eye contact. “No.”
“Do you trust me, Ava?”
Her breath caught and for a minute she looked afraid to answer. My heart raced like I’d just done a round of suicides as I waited for her answer.
“I trust you,” she finally said.
I moved my hand, unable to stop myself from tucking a strand of her brown hair behind her ear. Her skin was soft and warm, and the simple touch sent heat shooting through my veins.
“You deserve to know how amazing you are,” I said, my voice rougher than I intended. “And I want to be the one to show you. It doesn’t have to be anything more than that.”
For a moment, hunger flashed in her hazel eyes. Her lips parted even more, and her pulse jumped at the base of her throat. The air between us crackled with electricity.
Then she blinked, and the spell was broken.
“I have to go,” she said suddenly, jerking back from my touch like it burned her.
“Aves—”
But she was already moving, pushing through the crowd of students now filling the hall with a determination that made it clear the conversation was over.
At least for now.
There was no way we were done.
My conviction to do this for Ava only solidified on my walk back to the hockey house.
I knew she’d dated a parade of douchebags who might as well have been dickless for all the satisfaction they could give a woman.
And I knew Ava well enough to know she wasn’t the type of girl who could let her inhibitions loose unless she was with someone she trusted completely.
And there was no one she could trust more than me.
I’d been there through her worst moments—when she broke her ankle and couldn’t dance for six months, spiraling into this dark place where she barely left her room.
When her grandpa died and she cried so hard she made herself sick, refusing to eat for three days until I literally forced protein shakes down her throat.
And when her childhood dog had to be put down, the way she was so fucking devastated she couldn’t even speak during the burial we held in their backyard.
It was true that Drew was my best friend, and this was probably obliterating every rule of bro code that had ever been written. But Ava was family too. I would do anything for her.
Maybe I couldn’t be loyal enough to commit to a woman long-term, but I could at least be loyal enough to help Ava discover what she was capable of. What she deserved.
The calm quiet of the late afternoon was shattered by a piercing cry the second I opened the door to the hockey house.
“Jesus Christ,” I muttered, dropping my backpack by the door.
Drew was in the living room with Rory, bouncing her against his chest while she wailed like her world was ending.
The baby had basically been dropped on our doorstep a couple of weeks ago—a complete shock that turned Drew’s entire universe upside down.
One minute he was the guy who couldn’t commit to keeping a houseplant alive, the next he was changing diapers and learning the difference between hungry cries and tired cries.
As one of his roommates, I’d been dropped into the deep end too.
I now knew more about babies than I’d ever planned to.
“Hey, man,” Drew called over Rory’s screaming, his voice frayed with exhaustion. “Thank God you’re back. She’s been going at it for twenty minutes straight, and I’ve tried everything.”
A Pack ’n Play with pink blankets sat tucked beside the couch, and instead of the usual red Solo cups scattered around our house along with boxes of stale pizza, there were baby bottles, rattles, stuffed animals—pretty much anything a kid could ever dream of.
Our place had gone from ultimate bachelor pad to looking like a baby store had exploded in here.
But even with the drastic changes, I was proud as hell of my friend.
Drew had really stepped up for Rory, and as someone whose dad had constantly been in and out of my life—never fully choosing me or my mom—I respected the fuck out of Drew for what he’d done.
For stepping up, for being the man my father could never be.
“She hungry?” I asked, dropping onto the couch and reaching for one of the bottles on the coffee table.
“Fed her an hour ago.” Drew shifted Rory to his other arm, and she quieted for exactly three seconds before starting up again. “I swear, sometimes I worry I’m failing her.”
“You’re not.”
“She cries all the fucking time. That can’t be a good sign. It sure as hell doesn’t feel like I’m doing everything right.”
“She’s a baby. Of course she’s going to cry. Stop being so hard on yourself. Here, why don’t you give her to me, so you can take a break.”
Drew handed Rory over, and I settled her in the crook of my arm. It seemed like she was getting bigger every day—no longer the tiny, fragile thing that had terrified us both when she first arrived. She had Drew’s brown hair and these huge, curious eyes that seemed to take in everything.
I started swaying her the way Sam, our other—and only female—roommate had showed me early on in our adventures with Rory. It took a second before she started to settle down, but finally her screams quieted to muted whimpers before she passed out.
“Show-off,” Drew said, but he looked relieved as he collapsed into the armchair across from me. “I swear she likes you better than me sometimes.”
“That’s because I don’t stress when she cries. You turn into this tense, overthinking mess.”
“I do not overthink—”
“Dude, yesterday you Googled ‘is my baby’s poop the wrong color’ for twenty minutes.”
Drew had the grace to look sheepish. “It was a weird green.”
Drew had changed so much in such a short amount of time, and it made me wonder if maybe I could change too.
The only problem was that in his core, Drew was a good guy—a family guy.
I, on the other hand, was my father’s son, and I couldn’t let go of the idea that I’d eventually turn into the same kind of man he was.
Drew was quiet for a moment, his gaze fixed on his daughter. “Some days I still can’t believe she’s mine. That I’m responsible for keeping another human being alive.”
“You’re doing good, man. Better than good.”
“I couldn’t do any of this without your help. You, Gordy, and Sam have really saved my ass.”
“Don’t forget your family.”
He huffed out a laugh. His mom was straight up obsessed with her new granddaughter. And Ava came over more often just to spend time with Rory.
“Yeah, but they don’t live here. They don’t have to deal with the middle of the night screaming and crying and waking up every few hours because she’s hungry.”
That was true.
He sat forward. “I know I haven’t said it, but thanks for not bringing girls back here. I know she’s been kind of a cockblock for you.”
I shrugged. If I wanted sex that badly, I could always go to a girl’s place and get it. That sounded cocky, but it was true.
Honestly, I’d been okay going without. But maybe my short hiatus was why I was more eager than I should be to help Ava. I couldn’t offer her forever, but I could certainly make sure she never settled for less again.