Chapter 8
EIGHT
Dancing had always been my passion, but I wasn’t competitive enough to make it a career.
I didn’t have that level of drive. It was just something that made me feel free and grounded and whole.
So when the owner of the local dance studio where I’d been taking classes on the side asked if I wanted to be an instructor, I jumped on the chance.
The class I was teaching tonight was my favorite group.
They were all a bunch of women in their seventies who had zero filters and were a hoot and a half.
But my favorite part was that dancing was fun for them.
They weren’t doing it to get extra skills or put in more time in the studio.
They were doing it to stay loose and limber, and to socialize with friends.
Normally, I could dial in on their energy and just have fun too, but tonight I was having a hard time focusing because I couldn’t stop replaying Liam’s voice in my head.
I’ll do it.
He hadn’t even hesitated. He’d offered up his services as if I was asking him to help me wash my car, not make me come.
And this was Liam of all people!
I mean, Liam was the guy who didn’t even do the same girl twice. He was the quintessential fuckboy. It shouldn’t have thrilled me at the thought of him being dedicated to me for the length of this list. But it did a little.
Although if we were going to do this, I would definitely have to make sure he was not fucking anybody else at the same time.
I had enough hang-ups after being cheated on, and even though we weren’t going to be a couple, I still didn’t want to have to worry about him hooking up with other people while he was hooking up with me.
“Somebody’s got their head in the clouds today,” Patty said with a laugh. I focused on her reflection in the mirror.
“What?”
“Girl, you’ve been distracted for the last twenty minutes,” Barb responded, joining Patty.
“What’s got that pretty head all up in a tizzy?”
I lifted my chin. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Patty and Barb both smiled.
Patty opened her mouth to say something else, but just then the door opened and the UPS guy walked in with a box that was likely the new decorations that the owner, Shannon, had just ordered for the studio. The women stared in rapt attention at the newcomer and I rolled my eyes.
Michael was probably in his late twenties, and had a sharp jaw and fit body that had no business making an ugly brown uniform look hot.
He was definitely attractive, I’d give him that, but not my type.
He had more of a boxy fit about him, whereas I’d always been more partial to toned and fit athletes.
But oh, did the ladies love watching him, especially when he would walk out because those brown pants hugged his butt like nobody’s business. And this man had an ass that Captain America would be jealous of.
“Ava, you should be flirting with that guy,” Linda whispered.
“He’s about your age,” Patty noted.
I shook my head. We had the same conversation anytime Michael dropped off a package while it was their dance time.
“Michael is not my type, Linda. We’ve been over this before.”
“Honey, that man is everyone’s type,” said Deb.
“You women are incorrigible.”
“Ava, dear, life is too short to not do the crazy thing. To not take the chance. Take the leap. Do the thing that scares you. Take it from us, sweetheart. Go out and do it. You only live once.”
“And what’s the harm that happens? He turns you down. Oh well, you move on and find somebody else.”
“I think we should focus on the dance.”
Linda shook her head. “You’re no fun tonight.”
“I just don’t feel like talking about boys,” I said.
And then, because I really wanted them to drop this line of conversation, I added, “I was in a relationship, okay? And if you must know, he cheated on me, and I’m just not really feeling like talking about it more than that or dating anyone new so soon. ”
Truthfully, I barely missed Chris. I was still hurt that he didn’t break up with me before he moved on to someone else. The betrayal of being cheated on stung more than losing him.
The looks of brief sympathy were almost worse than them pushing me to ask out Michael until Patty said, “Oh, screw him. Any man who would cheat on a woman like you is dumber than a box of rocks.”
“Well, now you absolutely have to go flirt your butt off with somebody. The best way to get over a man is to get under someone else.”
“Linda!” I was appalled, but I shouldn’t have been because these ladies had proved time and time again that they had zero filter.
We finally got underway with the class, but I couldn’t help thinking about what they said.
That life was too short not to do the crazy thing.
Except the crazy thing I couldn’t stop thinking about wasn’t going out and flirting with Michael or another guy.
It was potentially checking off a very spicy bucket list with my brother’s best friend.
My crazy thing seemed legitimately too crazy to even consider.
Right?
But as the hours passed and Liam’s voice repeated nonstop in my brain, I started to wonder if maybe it wasn’t that crazy.
Later that night, I lay in bed staring at my ceiling, my phone in my hand as I nibbled my lip.
The ladies were right. Life was too short, and I was tired of always settling for being in the background.
I wanted to be adventurous. I wanted to take risks, maybe not to the level my brother did, and I maybe didn’t want to be quite the center of attention like he was notoriously known for.
But I wanted to be the main character in my own frickin’ life.
So I pulled out my phone, and I texted Liam.
Me
Did you mean it?
He didn’t even hesitate.
Liam
Yes.
Me
What if it’s weird?
Liam
We can try it, and if it’s too weird, then we can laugh about it and never speak of it again.
He made it sound so simple and so easy when this felt like we were about to make a very complicated decision.
I knew Liam could separate feelings from sex.
He’d proven that with all the girls he’d fucked.
But the question was, could I? Would this forever change how I saw him?
Would I be able to put him back in the box I’d always kept him in if we crossed the line?
I wasn’t sure of the answers, but I was sure of one thing. Liam had been right that I needed to trust somebody if I was going to check off my list. And I did trust him. I also trusted him to keep it a secret.
Trusting him wasn’t the problem.
It was living with the consequences of what we were about to do that scared me.