33. Dahlia
DAHLIA
“Steven likes you,” Daisy singsongs as we wash our hands in the sink inside the restroom at the Prickly Pear.
“He barely knows me,” I say back, but my stomach does a little flip anyway.
Do I even want him to like me? I don’t know.
I’m so confused. Running into Felix tonight didn’t help.
He seemed so…hurt or angry. But I don’t understand why.
He walked out on me the other night. He’s the one that has always said he didn’t want more.
Daisy’s phone pings in her pocket. She quickly dries her hands and pulls it out.
“It’s Vi,” she says. “She and Gavin are leaving. I need to run out with them. I left my purse in Gavin’s car. Do you want me to wait?”
“No, go ahead. Jane and I are going to grab an Uber.”
“Bye.” She hugs me. “Tonight was so much fun.”
“It was,” I agree.
“See you tomorrow.”
I take an extra second in front of the mirror to finger comb my hair, then pull out my phone.
I could tell myself I’m not looking to see if Felix texted, but that’s a lie.
I miss him. Being at the same place and barely interacting just made it all too real.
This is our new normal and it kind of sucks.
Chastising myself, I shove my phone back in my purse and head out of the restroom. A hand wraps around my wrist and tugs me farther back into the dark hallway. I yelp seconds before his familiar scent envelops me.
“Felix.” My heart is beating way too fast as I look up into his steely blue eyes. “What are you doing?”
“Something I’ve wanted to do all night.” His hands come up and frame my face, and he covers my mouth with his.
I gasp in surprise, but my hesitation is short-lived because my body reacts all on its own. One more kiss. One more touch.
I wrap my arms around his neck and lift up onto my toes to deepen the kiss. He continues to caress my face so tenderly. Long fingers splayed out over my cheeks and the thumb on his right hand holds my chin in place as he sweeps his tongue into my mouth.
I missed this. Missed him.
Finding a single thread of restraint, I pull back. “Wait. Wait. What are we doing?”
“I’m kissing you and thinking about putting my hand under this tight little skirt,” he says, brushing his lips over mine again.
“We broke up.”
“Technically, we weren’t ever really together.”
“Felix.” I take a tiny step back.
“Dahlia.” He drawls my name out in that way that drives me crazy.
“What is this?” I motion between us.
“I don’t know. I don’t have all the answers, but this is the first time I’ve felt like myself in days.” He closes in on me and rests a hand on my hip.
My phone buzzes in my purse. “That’s probably Jane.”
“Come home with me.”
“I can’t leave Jane.”
“We can drop her off on the way.”
He must read the thoughts on my face. “You don’t want her to know.”
I feel bad about that, but I don’t think she’ll approve. I’m not even sure I approve, but I want to anyway. He nods and presses his lips to mine again. “Go home. I’ll be right behind you. Leave the window open.”
He leaves me alone in the hallway with my heart in my throat. I pull out my phone with shaky hands.
Jane
You’ve been in the restroom a really long time. Everything okay?! Uber is two minutes out. Let me know if I need to stall the driver while you poop.
Me
OMG, I’m not pooping.
Me
omw
Jane talks a mile a minute in the back of the Uber.
She misreads my silence as exhaustion, which works out well.
As soon as we get home, she follows me upstairs and says, “I know you’ve had a crazy long day, so I won’t make you stay up all night talking to me, but tomorrow after your dad leaves, we are discussing the events of tonight at length. ”
I hear a car door shut outside and my nerves ramp up.
“Okay,” I say and hug her.
She starts toward her room down the hall.
“Hey,” I say. “Thanks for coming to cheer me on today. You’re the best.”
“Duh.” She laughs and then flips on the light in her bedroom. “Love you too.”
I close my door and then rush to the window to open it. Felix is waiting on the roof. He climbs inside and shakes his dark hair. “It’s starting to rain out there.”
I’m frozen in place, staring at him. The way the black T-shirt hugs his chest and arms. The light stubble of facial hair dotting his jaw.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“I never thought you’d be in my room again.”
“If you want me to go?—”
“Shut up and kiss me.” I close the space between us, throwing myself at him. And in true Felix fashion, he catches me easily.
We fall to the bed in a tangle of limbs. His mouth never leaves mine, but his hands roam up my legs and over my stomach, then up to caress my face and finally tangle in my hair.
I can’t seem to get close enough or kiss him hard enough.
His hand strokes my calf and then slides up past the underside of my knee. I scramble for the hem of his T-shirt and yank it up. Felix pulls back long enough to get it over his head and toss it on the floor, then his mouth is back on mine.
I run my hands over his stomach and chest, unabashedly enjoying the warmth of his skin and the way his muscles contract as he moves on top of me.
“Dahlia,” he whispers my name as his hand disappears under the hem of my dress. It’s bunched up around my upper thigh, so it doesn’t take him long to reach my bare hip. He hooks one finger into my panties and slowly drags the material down as he continues to kiss me.
I help him get them off and then I go for his jeans. It’s a struggle to get the denim pants off without breaking apart for more than a few seconds, but piece by piece, we strip down until there’s nothing between us.
Felix drops a hand to my stomach. “You’re so beautiful.”
I soak up the compliment and the dark look in his eyes.
“About the other night,” he says, stroking the skin just above my belly button.
“Yeah?”
“I shouldn’t have left like that. I knew what you wanted, but I thought it would be easier if we didn’t have sex. I didn’t want to take that from you when we were just…whatever we were doing.”
“And now?”
“I think I was screwed long before that.” One side of his mouth lifts into a smile that I can feel when he presses his lips to mine.
“Me too.” I rest my fingertips on his jaw.
My heart bangs against my rib cage as Felix’s hands roam over my boobs, down to my stomach, my hips, my inner thigh. It’s like he can’t decide where he wants to focus his attention, or maybe he wants to focus it everywhere all at once. I feel it everywhere, that’s for sure.
When we’ve kissed so long my lips hurt, he finally reaches for the nightstand and rummages around until he finds a condom.
Felix smooths my hair out of my face and meets my gaze. “You’re sure you want to do this?”
“Definitely.” I swallow thickly and my pulse speeds up.
He rips the foil packet open, covers himself and then blows out a breath. “Fuck, I’m nervous.”
“You?” My brows lift.
“Yeah, if it sucks, I might turn you off of sex for life or something.”
I sit up, resting on my elbows. “It’s not going to suck. You and I are both too competitive to be bad at anything. Plus, you’re stupid hot, remember? If you say my name the right way, I don’t even need your big dick.”
A cocky glint flashes in his eyes and he curls forward in laughter. “Fuck, I love it when you ramble.”
“You do?”
He moves up, forcing me to lie flat. “Mhmm.”
His head lowers and he covers one nipple with his mouth. I arch into him and rake my nails down his back. He goes from one breast to the other until I’m writhing beneath him. He shifts and the head of his dick nudges at my entrance.
“Dahlia?”
“Yeah.” The word comes out in a pant.
He doesn’t speak right away, and I look up to find a playful smirk on his face. “Just checking to see if you need my big dick.”
As I laugh, he pushes inside me. All the air leaves my lungs.
“Are you okay?” He stills.
I nod and bite my lip.
He studies my face, gauging the sincerity of my words.
“I’m okay,” I say. “Really.”
“Breathe.” His lips brush mine.
His kiss is sweet and soft. He moves carefully, letting my body relax and adjust so that he can push farther in. It takes a minute, but eventually the pain fades and in its place liquid warmth pools in my lower belly.
When I start to meet his thrusts, Felix picks up the pace.
He pulls out almost completely before driving back in.
Each time it causes a delicious shiver to roll down my spine.
My gaze locks on his face. His expression is a mix of concentration, restraint, and pleasure.
He’s close but holding back, trying to make sure my first time is everything I might have imagined.
I never imagined it like this—overwhelming and all-consuming.
He shifts, moving his upper body upright while still driving into me. He stares down at where our bodies connect. His fingers on one hand have a tight grip on my hip and the other splays out on my lower stomach as his thumb rubs slow circles over my clit.
“Dahlia.” My name comes out with a tortured groan. “Are you close?”
“I think so,” I rasp.
He increases the pressure on the sensitive bundle of nerves and my body lights up.
“Dahlia,” he says again, and this time, it’s my undoing. The orgasm is like none of the others before. It keeps building until I think I’ll pass out with the force of it.
When I finally start to come down from the best high of my life, I let my eyes flutter open. Felix is staring down at me with a look so sweet and yet still cocky.
He kisses my stomach, then disposes of the condom before dropping onto the bed next to me.
“That didn’t suck.” I let my head fall to the side to look at him.
He laughs as I roll over and curl into him. I drape an arm over his chest, and he covers my hand with his. “Definitely not.”
“Can we do it again?”
He blows out a breath. “You’re a little minx.”
“Is that a yes?” I ask as I climb up and straddle him. I run my palms over his chest, and his hands go to my hips. I can feel him growing hard underneath me.
“Give me a minute.”
“I’m pretty sure this night is going to ruin me for casual sex. It’s not usually this good, right? I’ve sat through enough girl talk to hear terrible stories of hookups with guys who don’t know the meaning of foreplay and last all of fifteen seconds.”
The corners of his mouth lift and he hits me with one of those wide smiles that makes my stomach do several somersaults.
“What?” I ask when he just keeps staring at me.
“Be my girlfriend, hot stuff.”
“What?” My hands still.
“I want you to be my girlfriend. For real this time.” He sits up. “You’re right. Nothing about this feels casual. It never did. I want to be the guy taking you home, not the asshole sitting across the bar watching you with some other guy.”
“You want to be my boyfriend so we can keep hooking up?” I ask. “Felix, I don’t need to be your girlfriend for that. We can keep things like they are and see where it goes.”
“That’s not what I meant. Fuck. I’m not saying this right.
” He wraps his arms around my back. “We’re good together.
I like you. I’m pretty sure you still like me.
I want to go back to hanging out like before.
I want to be the guy that takes you to the party and the one that takes you home.
I liked being your boyfriend. It didn’t feel fake. ”
“I thought after Bethany…” My words trail off. “You said you didn’t want or have time for a girlfriend.”
“You’re not Bethany. No one is, but it’s taken me some time to realize that I don’t have to carry her issues with me. You showed me that.”
“Me?”
He runs a hand through his dark hair and blows out a breath.
“I’ve never really told anyone this, but Bethany cheated on me.
Lots of times, in fact. It was her thing.
I wouldn’t pay enough attention to her, and she’d get back at me by kissing someone else or disappearing with some other guy at a party to make me jealous.
It worked too, at least enough times that it became the cycle of our relationship.
It’s why she’s still doing it because it worked in the past.”
I’m speechless. Why the hell would anyone cheat on Felix? I can’t imagine a better guy. Plus, he has the whole stupid-hot thing going on. He’s the total package.
His jaw is set in a hard line. “After that, I thought that I couldn’t be a guy that made someone else a priority while still working toward my dreams, but with you, I feel like anything is possible. You never make me feel like I have to choose.”
“You shouldn’t. You don’t. You’re a great guy, Felix, and you’re going to do incredible things.”
He nods, but his expression is still pained. “Be my girlfriend, hot stuff?”
I’m too stunned by everything he said for the idea to really sink in. Be Felix’s girlfriend? Like for real, for real?!
He takes my hair into his fist and tugs lightly, tipping my lips up toward his. “You don’t have to answer now. Just promise me you’ll give it some thought.”