Chapter 12
FINN
Saturday, four days before the festival
I knocked on Charles’ door. I heard whispering, then a burst of laughter. Great.
Still, after I was allowed to enter, it was good to see him smiling, even if it was more of a smirk. “Yes?” When had he learned to raise one eyebrow like that?
“I just wanted to check on you guys, since I didn’t expect you home til later.
” I leaned around the doorframe and waved at Kirk and Tommy.
They waved back with smirks of their own.
Charles’ computer was off, and his guitar was in its case.
Clutter in the form of clothes and game cases were scattered around as usual, but none of the boys were holding anything.
Charles’ leather jacket was on the bed, so maybe they were about to leave?
“We’re good.” He didn’t seem stressed out at least. What the hell had they been doing? Talking? If that was the case, why couldn’t they do it at Kirk’s house?
“Okay. Um, if you’re going to hang out here, I’m taking Drake to breakfast.”
He made a show of looking at his watch. “Don’t you mean lunch?”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s only a little after 10:00 a.m.”
“You should take him to Sparky’s. They have the best waffles.” Kirk rubbed his stomach.
Tommy shook his head. “I like Red’s better for breakfast. Their French toast is to die for.”
They both gazed at Charles expectantly, as if he’d cast the deciding vote. He shrugged. “I haven’t been to breakfast at either place.”
You know those moments when time slows down, and you understand in your gut that your plans for the day—your plans involving naked time with Drake—are a lost cause? I had one of those moments when all three faces turned accusing looks in my direction.
Well, shit. “You’re all welcome to join us. Let me go see when Drake’ll be ready to leave, and you three decide where we’re going.”
I left them to debate diner options and retreated to my room. The shower was running. Would it be rude to go into the bathroom and talk to Drake right then? When he was wet and soapy, and....
And there were three teenagers in the house.
Sighing, I sat on my bed and scrolled through social media to pass the time until Drake emerged. Alex’s video—the public version—had been a big hit on the clinic’s feed. The other version, well, I was saving it for after Drake went home to Texas and I was alone again.
But, after last night when he’d said he could do his songwriting from anywhere, I was determined to do everything I could to get him to stay in Maplewood longer.
When he came out of the bathroom, Drake was wearing a pair of cherry red boxer briefs and nothing else. He grinned and walked over to me with an exaggerated undulation in his hips. Fuck.
I held up a hand. “The boys are going to breakfast with us.”
He stopped moving, and his eyebrows flew up. “Is everything okay? Why did they stop by?”
I shook my head. “I have no idea. They didn’t say, and I’m trying not to be all up in Charles’ business. But they didn’t look upset or anything.”
“Good. Okay, let me get dressed and we can go.”
The boys chose Red’s diner, which I was grateful for, since Mickey had been at my house last night. I’d have felt awkward going to his archenemy’s place of business mere hours later, even though I was friends with both families. That fucking feud was a pain in the ass.
After Bethany, who was a year ahead of the boys in school, brought coffee and we ordered, Drake looked around the table.
“So, I think I deserve to know what was so important y’all felt it necessary to tromp through Finn’s house so early.
” He lifted his mug and took a sip, all the while alternating his gaze between the three boys.
Charles broke first, bumping shoulders with Tommy. “Tommy here didn’t believe I’d actually seen Mabel on Monday. I wanted to show him how badly my dad’s jacket got scratched up from me running through the woods and falling on the road.”
I had to stick my face in my coffee cup to give myself a reason to close my eyes. Just imagining what could’ve happened if there’d been more cars around when Charles fell, or if Drake hadn’t been able to stop in time.... Fuck.
“You were pretty scared. I believed you’d seen something freaky.”
The boys began to debate the existence of not only Mabel, but other “cryptids” they’d heard about on a podcast.
I looked at Drake. “Thanks for solving the mystery of what prompted their visit this morning.”
He toasted me with his coffee cup and winked. “You can reward me later.”
“Oh, can I?” I smirked. “How so?”
He leaned in. “You can come out to the compound and... help me clean the chicken coops.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
I laughed. “Count me in. I wouldn’t want you to... clean the chicken coops by yourself.”
Charles whipped his head around and gasped. His eyes flicked between me and Drake, and his face drained of color.
I frowned. “What’s wrong?”
He shook his head, his lips pressed together. I couldn’t ask again because Bethany came to the table with an enormous tray to drop off our food. She passed out the plates and told us to enjoy our meal, then she was gone.
Everyone dug into their food except Charles. He poked at his eggs with his fork, but he didn’t eat.
He’d been fine just before Drake and I had started flirting with each other. Was that what was bothering him?
Kirk asked Charles something about his guitar lessons, but Charles acted like he didn’t hear him. We all waited a moment, and then Drake asked Kirk how long he’d been taking his own lessons.
I let Drake carry the conversation, eating about half my food while Charles stared at his plate, stewing over whatever was bothering him. When he still hadn’t eaten anything, I knew I had to say something. Fucking hell, Noelle, I was not cut out for this.
I nudged him with my elbow and spoke in a low tone. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
When he turned his head to face me, I gaped at the tears welling in his eyes. “Charles! What’s the matter?” On my other side, Drake paused what he was saying for a second but then continued on in a slightly louder tone. Fuck, he was probably better parent material than I was.
Charles swiped the back of his hand over his cheeks. “Sorry. I know I told you I was okay with you dating. But I didn’t expect....” He tried to stifle a sob, and my heart sank. He wasn’t ready for me to date after all.
I put my arm around his shoulders. “Hey, remember what I said. You come first. If you need me to focus on you for a while, I can do that.” Drake paused again, then resolutely kept talking. He was telling the boys about his brother who was making a video game or something. Fuck, this was a disaster.
Charles shook his head. “It’s not that. I just....” He threw up his hands and slid out of my hold to shove his chair back and stand up. “I gotta get some air.” He took off toward the restaurant entrance.
Drake looked stricken, and Kirk and Tommy seemed to not know what to do.
I stood up. “Stay here. Finish your breakfasts. I’ll catch up with you later, Drake.”
He nodded, frowning. “I’ll take care of the bill. I hope he’s okay.”
“He will be.”
I wove through the tables to the front of the restaurant. I’d had a faint hope that Charles would be standing out front waiting for me to find him, but I wasn’t that lucky.
I looked down the sidewalk in either direction, but he wasn’t visible. Okay, to the left was a residential area Charles wouldn’t be very familiar with, but to the right was home and the park. Right it was.
I walked as fast as I could without running. I was so focused on scanning the distance for Charles’ blue hoodie, I nearly snapped at a couple of clients who tried to stop me to chat. I’d had to shout an apology over my shoulder as I strode past them.
I hesitated at the corner of Maple and Morgan. Would he go to the park or go home? It probably depended on whether he wanted me to find him right away or not.
Well, if he was home he’d stay there for the few minutes it would take me to search the park.
I stepped off the curb to cross Maple, then I started to cross Morgan, jumping back with a yell when an oncoming car honked at me.
Shit, I did not need to get run over. Charles had lost enough parents already.
After looking both ways for traffic this time, I crossed safely to the park. The main path had a good sightline to most of the area.
I nearly collapsed in relief when I saw the mop of brown hair, so like my own, on the south side of the park.
He was sitting on the ground next to a tree with his head on his knees and his arms wrapped around his legs.
I was lucky I’d noticed him, as he’d taken his hoodie off and was using it like a pillow on top of his knees.
Okay, what now? I could leave him be for a little while, but I didn’t want him to think I didn’t care enough to come after him. Shit. I’d have to wing it. Again.
I walked over, not trying to hide the sound of my footsteps in the spring grass. Charles’ shoulders hunched further. He knew it was me.
I sat down a couple of feet away. In his space but not crowding him.
I didn’t speak, mostly because I wasn’t sure of what to say.
It was a little chilly in the shade, but Charles could put on his hoodie if he was cold.
I leaned back on my hands and tilted my head up to look at the leaves overhead, trying to get my muscles to relax and my heart rate to slow down.
“Sorry I freaked out.” He hadn’t moved much, just turned his head sideways in my direction. His eyes were red and his cheeks were blotchy.
I smiled and shook my head. “You didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, if something was upsetting you, getting out of there was the best thing you could’ve done.”
“I guess.” He closed his eyes. “Drake probably thinks I hate him or something.”
I kept my voice as relaxed as I could. “I doubt that. Do you wanna talk about what made you upset?”
He pressed his face into his hoodie again. “You’ll think it’s stupid.” His voice was muffled but I could hear him.
“Hey.” I scooted closer and put my arm around his shoulders. “You had an honest reaction. Nothing about that is stupid.”
He shook his head and dropped his knees to the ground but remained hunched over, pressing the hoodie to his face as he sobbed.
Fuck. I put my other arm around him and pulled him into my chest. I hadn’t seen him cry like this since his parents’ funeral. Which didn’t mean he hadn’t been crying, of course.
When his tears slowed and he lifted his head, I offered him the end of one of his hoodie’s sleeves, as it was still fairly dry. He chuckled and wiped his face. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I braced myself. “Did you change your mind about being okay with me and Drake dating?”
He looked at me with a shocked expression. “What? No!”
I exhaled with relief. “Okay. What made you so upset then?”
“What Drake was saying, how he was teasing you. It reminded me of how Mom and Dad were. They’d always say things that sounded like innuendos, but they’d be talking about doing chores or something else boring.”
Right. Drake had invited me to help him clean the chicken coops. “I can see how that would’ve triggered a memory.”
He turned his head away. “I miss them so much.” He pressed his fist to his lips, and his body jerked with silent sobs.
“Let it out, Charlie. Sorry, Charles.” Shit. Like he needed more reminders of his parents. And, yep, he was crying harder now. Fuck.
“I don’t—” He sucked in a breath before letting out another sob. “I don’t like being called Charles. I want to be Charlie again.”
“Okay. You can be called whatever you decide. I like Charlie better too.” Noelle had chosen the name Charles to honor one of her grandfathers. It wasn’t like I’d had any say, but I’d been relieved when she’d used the nickname Charlie right away.
He nodded and his crying slowed. “I thought keeping the name for Mom and Dad would make it more special, but every time someone calls me Charles, it just reminds me that they’re gone.”
I squeezed him to my chest. “I’m sorry this is so hard, Charlie. I wish I could do something to help. I love you.”
He went still. “Are you mad you got stuck with me?”
I frowned down at the top of his head. “No! Never. I wish I could’ve moved my job so you wouldn’t have had to leave Seattle and your whole life there, but I’d have been upset if you’d ended up with someone else as your guardian.”
He nodded. “Me too.”
My heart felt like it would expand right out of my chest, and I couldn’t stop a smile. I pressed a kiss to the top of his head. He only squirmed a little bit.
He was silent for a moment. “I think maybe it was good for me to leave. Here I don’t expect to see Mom and Dad around every corner. And the people are nice. I like living with you.” He turned his head to sneak a look at me. “Even if you won’t get me a pet.”
“Hey! I told you, if we don’t find a stray by your birthday, you can pick out what you want. Within reason. No chickens.”
He chuckled. Back in Seattle their family dog had passed away a few years ago. Noelle and Jin had told Charlie they wanted to travel after he went to college, so they weren’t getting another pet.
But I missed having a pet in the house, so I was happy to do this for him.
He sat up and rubbed his face. Then he looked around the park. “Sorry I was being all whiny.”
“Charlie. You need to express your emotions, even the uncomfortable ones. I don’t expect you to act like everything’s good when it’s not.”
He nodded and fiddled with the string on his hoodie. Should I try again? Fuck it, might as well. “Have you given any more thought about seeing a counselor? We could go together if that would make it easier.”
“If I don’t like it, can we stop going?”
“Um, well, sometimes the first counselor you try isn’t the right fit. So if you don’t like the first one, how about you promise to try one more before we call it quits?”
“Okay.”
“Great.” Thank fuck. “You ready to head home? You’ve got to be starving.”
He winced. “What time is it? I feel bad for leaving the guys.”
“Drake said he’d get their breakfasts. I’m sure they’d like to hear from you though, to make sure you’re okay.” And I needed to text Drake. But what would I say? “Um, about Drake....”
Charlie sat up and turned to face me. “I don’t want you to stop seeing him, Finn.
I like him. I just....” He spread out his hands.
“I can’t guarantee I won’t have a freak-out again if you guys get, you know, romantic and shit.
” He must’ve seen my expression because he pointed a finger at me.
“No. I don’t want you to act all different or weird when I’m around. I’ll get used to it, okay?”
“Okay, but it’s not like anything Drake and I have can go anywhere. He lives in Texas.”
Charlie rolled his eyes as he stood up. “For now.”