Chapter 17
RYDER
Ryder looked at his phone for the hundredth time, and his heart broke a little more—Felix wasn’t coming.
He was standing in Central Park in the freezing cold, waiting to take a moonlight carriage ride with the man he loved.
It was possible Felix had been too far away, or he might not have seen the message, but in his heart he knew Felix had chosen not to come.
Thankfully, he’d not announced the location on social media, so there was nobody else here, other than tourists enjoying their coach rides.
Ryder was wrapped up warmly and wearing his baseball cap, so it wasn’t easy for people to recognize him.
Despite the public setting, Ryder had wanted this special moment to be private.
He’d paid a guy extra to be away from the crowds.
Felix was an hour late, but Ryder wasn’t ready to give up yet.
He’d wait here all night if he could, but he was mindful of the horses getting cold from being stationary for so long.
He was about to pay the guy off when his phone rang.
Eager to get to it, he dropped it on the ground with a fumble while getting it out of his pocket.
It stopped ringing before Ryder got to it.
The missed call was from Mason, and his heart sank.
Before he could think, it rang again, so he answered.
“What is it Mason?”
“You need to come to the restaurant.”
“He’s not here yet. I’m not leaving until I hear from him at least.”
“I know.”
“How do you know?”
“Like I said, you need to come to the restaurant.”
Ryder’s heart sped up. Could Mason mean what he thought?
He hung up without another word, gave a handful of cash to the driver, and ran.
The restaurant was twenty minutes away on foot, but he didn’t want to waste any time getting a car sorted and navigating through the traffic.
He could get there in less than ten minutes if he ran.
Arriving at Epicure, Ryder was aware how much he was sweating.
He probably looked a mess. If Felix wasn’t here, Mason would get a thump.
Not wanting to bring attention to himself, Ryder took the side entrance, which he had the code for.
The warmth of being inside was a welcome relief, but despite the cold, he was sweating buckets from the run.
He’d kept himself wrapped up, so he didn’t bring attention to himself.
Getting to the park earlier had a been an operation in stealth.
There’d been a crowd waiting outside his apartment, wanting to witness his reunion with Felix.
It was sweet, but also irritating. The downside of being semi-famous, at least in the social media sense, was that nothing was private.
When coming up with his grand gesture, he hadn’t thought about how overwhelming it could be for Felix. It was only when he’d had to act like a super spy to get to the park undetected that he realized.
“You took your time,” said Mason, walking out of his office.
“Get fucked! I ran here in less than ten minutes.”
“I know, and it shows. Come in here.”
“Where is he?”
“I said come in here,” he growled.
“Wow. Does that voice work on Zeb?”
“I’m trying to help you here and you’re being a dick.”
Ryder chuckled. He couldn’t help it with Mason. If only his grumpy friend would see the wonderful thing that was right in front of him and push all the negatives aside. None of that crap mattered when you were in love. He knew that himself now.
Ryder followed Mason into his office, but there was no sign of Felix. Mason closed the door behind them.
“Get undressed.”
“Look, Mason, I love you like a brother, but two tops don’t make a pair.”
“Put the fucking suit on, Ryder, and stop being . . . well . . . you.”
“What suit?”
He spun around and saw his best suit hanging up. What was going on? Mason gave him a look as if to say “hurry the fuck up” so he didn’t ask any more questions. Ryder peeled his many layers of clothing off.
“Have you got a towel, so I can get some of this sweat off me?”
Mason disappeared into his bathroom and came back with one. Ryder gave himself a sniff, and he still smelled good, so he’d take it. Would it be nice to have a shower before he put his suit on? Yes. Did he want to wait any longer before he saw Felix? No.
“He’s definitely here, isn’t he?” asked Ryder.
“No. I’m making you put a suit on and make yourself look good to have a drink in the bar on your own. Don’t ask stupid questions.”
“Does he know I know? You’re not ruining his surprise, are you?”
“No. I told him you wouldn’t leave the park unless you knew he was somewhere else.”
Ryder couldn’t help but smile at the grumpy bastard.
Mason was a thoughtful guy, who knew them all better than they knew themselves.
If only he’d put himself first for once, he could be really happy.
That was a project for later. Once he had Felix back in his arms, Ryder was going to do everything he could to get Mason and Zeb together.
He was going to become a romance guru for all his single friends.
He had his suit on and grabbed some of his cologne off the side, before fixing his hair after taking the baseball cap off. How and when things had been brought from his apartment was something he could get into later. Right now, he had somewhere to be.
“Where is he?”
“If you think about it, you’ll know,” said Mason with a cryptic smile.
He walked out of the office, leaving Ryder by himself, and Ryder gave himself one last look in the mirror before walking out. It was time to see the man he loved.
Standing outside the door to the private dining room where they’d had their first official date, Ryder was nervous.
He always felt confident in everything he did, but in this moment, he had too much to lose if it went wrong.
What he needed to do was be quiet and listen to whatever Felix had to say.
He’d been through hell over the past couple of weeks, and that was Ryder’s fault.
There were a lot of assholes out there, but none of them would have targeted Felix if he didn’t know Ryder.
Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and walked in.
Felix had been looking out the window, and spun around.
He was wearing a suit as well, and looked breathtaking.
His nervous smile made Ryder’s heart beat faster, and he couldn’t control his legs as he strode across the room and pulled Felix into his arms, slamming their lips together.
So much for being in listening mode, but they didn’t need words.
Everything they felt was being poured into this kiss.
He lifted Felix up and walked them towards the wall, so he could deepen it.
Felix’s tongue tangled with his own, and Ryder could feel his man’s hard cock pressing against his stomach.
His own was straining against his tight suit trousers.
Ryder knew they needed to talk, but he wanted Felix so badly in this moment, he wasn’t thinking clearly.
“We need to talk, Ryder.”
“Yes. Can we do that in bed?”
Felix chuckled. “I love you. Never change.”
Ryder felt like his heart stopped beating. He looked Felix in the eyes. His own were watering.
“I love you, Ryder. Despite this crazy world you live in, I love you.”
Ryder realized he was still holding Felix up against the wall, so he lowered him and they walked over to the table.
He didn’t let go of Felix’s hand, and moved his chair so they were sitting next to each other.
They needed to talk, but Ryder didn’t want to let go of him.
Given everything that had happened, the fact Felix wanted to be here and had said those three words he never thought he’d hear from someone other that his family and friends, he was worried it could be a dream. If it was, he hoped to never wake up.
“I’m so sorry, baby, for everything you’ve been through. I was such a selfish asshole.”
“It’s okay. I understand how it looked. I just wish you’d spoken to me. We haven’t known each other long, but you must know I’d never hurt you.”
Ryder nodded. If he was being honest with himself, he had known that, but in the moment, past pain had blinded him.
“I know when you’re hurt, you like to shut yourself off from people and process your feelings,” said Felix. “That’s something you’ve always done, isn’t it?”
Ryder nodded.
“And that worked when you didn’t have millions of social media followers. I love you, Ryder. But what happens next time we have a disagreement or a misunderstanding?”
Ryder felt his stomach drop. He didn’t like the way this conversation had turned. It was hard not to jump in with solutions, but he knew he had to listen to Felix and understand his side of things.
“I’m not blaming you for some of the crazy people out there. I met one earlier, and I’m sure they didn’t even scratch the surface of some of your superfans. That’s the thing I’m trying to get my head around, Ryder. We all come with baggage. You come with an airport carousel.”
“Please don’t do this,” he choked.
“Ryder, will you let me finish?”
“I’ll give it all up. I can’t lose you.”
“I would never ask you to do that.”
“I’m offering. Please, don’t do this.” He wasn’t above begging.
“Ryder,” he shouted. “Will you shut the fuck up and let me speak?”
Ryder was stunned, but Felix smiled at him and he relaxed.
“When I was on the way to meet you, some guy I was at college with confronted me on the train with two of his goons.”
Ryder struggled to breathe. Had someone else hurt him? He immediately looked all over Felix to see if there was any evidence.
“Relax, he didn’t hurt me. He believed I’d stolen you from him because you’d replied to a couple of his comments.”
Ryder groaned. Ninety-nine percent of the time, when he replied to a comment it made the person’s day.
He loved giving that to someone. Then there was the one percent who read far too much into it.
Ryder had needed to hire someone to deal with his DMs, which were insane.
There was no need for any porn subscriptions with all the unsolicited pics he had there.
His poor PA had been given a well-deserved pay rise, given the filth she had to wade through daily.
“He was going to follow me to the park, so you could see you had a better option.”
“Nobody’s a better option than you. I’d have told him to fuck off.”
“I’d have liked to see that, but it made me realize we could never have had that amazing kiss or talked like this if we had an audience. All I’m asking is that we find time every day for this. For just us. And that we assume nothing without talking to each other first.”
“Do you mean?”
“Yes, Ryder. I love you. Of course I want to be with you, and your crazy life.”
Ryder pulled Felix forward and claimed his mouth. It didn’t have the same heat as before. This was a gentle kiss, expressing their love for each other. There’d been no hesitation that Ryder would have closed all his social media accounts if it was the only way he could be with Felix.
“Shall we go?” asked Felix.
“Where?”
“You said something about talking in bed.”
Ryder’s cock went from semi to full mast. He was very on board with that suggestion.
He knew he still had to work on how he reacted to things that hurt him, and would make time to keep seeing his therapist. The one good thing to come out of the last week was his test results had all come back clear.
His heart must have been trying to tell his dick that he was now a one-person man.
He grabbed Felix and threw him over his shoulder.
“What are you doing?” he asked, laughing.
“Taking you back to my cave until next year.”
“Put me down.”
Ryder ignored his plea. He had no intention of ever letting this man go.