Chapter 33 Hendrix
CHAPTER 33
HENDRIX
S o can you catch me up?” Skipper asks. “Because I must have missed something between you barely knowing Maverick Bell, and you staying at his house for a week.”
“About that,” I mutter, searching through my desk without looking up.
“You’re dating Maverick Bell, Hendrix?”
The word “dating” makes me pause my search. I still can’t quite wrap my mind around that concept, but I don’t know what else to call it. We’re together and don’t plan to stop, so I guess that’s dating.
“Well, yeah.” I resume rifling through my desk drawer. “I had a charger. One of those little ones and now I can’t… Ugh.”
“And you’ll be away from the office for the next week?”
I glance up from my hunt. “But I’ll be working the whole time.”
“Isn’t this all happening a little fast? And your braids look great, by the way.”
“Thanks. That African braider off Clairmont,” I say, pulling my fresh knotless braids over one shoulder. “And are you seriously asking me if this is fast after you smashed Bolt within five minutes of meeting him?”
She lifts her chin, defiance in her stare. “That was a mistake and won’t be happening again, but we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you. Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
“Believe me, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking this through, weighing the possible consequences.” I sit back in my seat and give her my full attention. “I want this and I’m going to let myself have it. To have him. I’m not saying it’s forever, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s what I want right now.”
“Have you told Zere? Chapel?”
“No, I’ll call them as soon as I find that charger.”
Skipper walks around to my side of the desk, opens the bottom drawer, shoves aside a few papers, and pulls out the charger.
“Ta-dah.” She tosses it onto my desk. “Guess you can call now.”
There was some part of me that was stalling, delaying the conversation I know I need to have with Zere. How that call goes determines what I’ll need to tell Chapel. There was a time not too long ago when I would never have put business at risk for a romantic relationship. I still can’t say I’m one hundred percent sure I won’t have any regrets, but never knowing what Maverick and I could have been won’t be one of them.
“Here you go,” Skipper says, handing me my phone from the edge of my desk. “I believe you needed this.”
“You don’t have as much job security as you think,” I mumble, only half joking. “Close the door behind you, sassy tail.”
Skipper pauses to do a little shimmy, but then closes the door.
I sigh, plug in the charger, and send the text I’ve been dreading.
Me: Hey, Zere! You got a sec?
For a few moments there’s no activity, but then reply bubbles appear.
Zere: Hey! Yeah. Call?
Me: Calling now.
“How are you?” she asks, answering after one ring.
“I’m good.” I make a conscious effort to relax my shoulders as if I’m telegraphing tension over the phone. “How’s forty treating you?”
“So far, so good. I’m in Paris so that’s always great.”
“Nice! Birthday trip?”
“Charles surprised me! Isn’t that marvelous?”
“That’s… that’s great, Zere.” I shift in my seat, searching for a comfortable position when every part of this conversation will be uncomfortable. “You two looked happy at the party.”
“It’s been a rough few months, and he’s been there for me. Ya know?”
“Right. Well, he seems really nice.”
“Girl, Paris nice!” Zere chortles. “And if I so much as sneeze in the direction of anything, he buys it for me.”
“That’s great, Zere. You sound really happy.”
“I am. Anyway, you wanted to chat? About the show?”
“Not exactly.” I clear my throat, bolster my nerve and press on. “It’s personal, not the show.”
“Oh. Okay. What’s up?”
I should just say this and not draw it out. There’s no better setup than her being in Paris with another man.
“I wanted to let you know that Maverick and I are seeing each other.”
“Seeing each other where?”
I frown, unsure how to respond for a second. “Seeing each other… as in dating.”
The line goes so quiet I wonder if we’ve been disconnected.
“Zere? Are you still there? I said—”
“I heard you. I-I guess I just don’t understand.”
“Mav and I have become friends. As you know, he’s investing in our fund, so we started spending time together. Talking and—”
“And now you’re dating?”
“Out of respect for the relationship you had with him and the working relationship I have with you, I wanted to tell you personally.”
“We just broke up two months ago, Hendrix.”
“You released a statement two months ago,” I gently correct her. “But he says the two of you had decided to part ways before that.”
“Wow. Three months. Big difference.”
I’m not sure what to say to that. She is literally in Paris with another man and tripping over me and Mav? But I do understand she needs space to process this. I’ve known almost from the beginning that Maverick and I were attracted to each other. We danced around it for weeks to avoid this very conversation, so I’ve had time to become accustomed to it. She’s hearing it for the first time.
“I know you were together for a while,” I say. “And that—”
“And that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him? You know that? That I wanted to have his children? Oh, but you don’t want to be anyone’s mother, so match made in heaven, I guess.”
Now my patience is hanging by a string.
“You and Maverick wanted different things. You said that yourself, Zere.”
“No, I wanted one thing. One thing, Hendrix, that he would never give me and that was a child. If I’d been fine with no kids, we’d still be together. Have you thought about that?”
“No, but you obviously have,” I say before I think better of it. “I didn’t mean it that way. You and I work together, and I wanted the air to be clear between us.”
“So you call to tell me you’re dating the love of my life? The air is so clear, Hendrix.” She audibly draws in a huge gulp of air. “Ahhh! Now I can breathe.”
“I don’t owe you anything,” I say, keeping my voice even and quiet and calm. “This call was a courtesy because I want to preserve our working relationship.”
“I’m not sure we have one anymore.”
Her words punch me in the gut. I knew this was a possibility. My heart is not the only thing I’m risking pursuing this relationship with Maverick.
“I need some time to think,” Zere says. “I know I should be big about this. I do recognize that neither of you cheated. I get it with my head, but my… my heart.”
Her voice breaks and my stomach muscles clench at the sound of her crying.
“I understand if this means you don’t want to make a show with me anymore,” I force out. “I’m willing to step away altogether. Just please don’t give up on Chapel. We both know how much talent and potential she has.”
“Oh, I’m not giving up on Chapel, but I may be giving up on you,” she bites out, voice still watery, but harder. “Let me think about this and we can decide what to say to Chapel once I’ve had time to consider. Let’s wait to tell her.”
“That’s fair. Okay.”
“I thought this was your next step,” she says, her words curling at the edges with contempt. “I thought breaking into television was so important to you.”
“It is. If not with this show, there’ll be another one.”
“I think you feel so confident stepping away if it comes to that because you think Maverick can get you anything you want, and you’re probably right. I never used him that way, though.”
“And I have no intention of using him, either.” I make a fist on my desk, squeezing my frustration into a knot of calm inside my hand.
“Fucking a billion dollars makes you real bold, doesn’t it? A cash security blanket comes with spreading your legs for a rich man.”
“You would know.”
Her gasp on the other end tells me my aim was true. I hit my mark before I even realized I was throwing. This conversation is quickly slipping out of my control.
“Look, I think we should both take a beat,” I say. “I didn’t mean that, Zere, and I don’t think you actually believe I’m with Maverick for his money.”
“ With him. You say it so easily like he’s always been yours. Wait. How long has this been going on?”
“We weren’t… the attraction was there, but we both fought it because we wanted to avoid this. We didn’t want to hurt you and knew how messy this could get.”
“Were you guys together at my birthday party and just fooled me? Just pretended not to be?”
“We decided after the party that we’d try to—”
“My birthday was two days ago,” she sniffs. “Did you fuck him on my birthday, Hendrix?”
Shit. What do I say to that? She rushes into the silence I’m not sure what to do with.
“You did that to me?”
“I didn’t do anything to you, Zere. I know it feels that way, but we haven’t done anything wrong.”
“You know what? I was gonna call girl code, but that’s for friends, and obviously we aren’t.”
The line goes quiet, dead when she hangs up without another word.
I toss the cell onto my desk and lean back in my seat.
“Dammit.” I rub my eyes. “That went great.”
I call Maverick.
“Hey, Gorgeous,” he says, the warm rumble of his voice wrapping around me like a blanket. “You on your way home to me?”
I smile in spite of the shit show of a call with Zere.
“Yeah. I got my vacation hair and I’m ready to frolic.”
“You can frolic to your heart’s content in Malibu. Plane is set to leave first thing in the morning. That works for you?”
“Yeah.” I release a pent-up breath. “I still have to get some work done while we’re gone, but I need a break. Especially after the call I just had with Zere.”
“Didn’t go well?”
I bark out a laugh void of all humor. “That’s one way of putting it. Disastrous would be another.”
“Maybe I should have talked to her first.”
“I don’t think that would have helped. I don’t think anything would except us not being together.”
“Well, fuck that.”
“Agreed,” I reply softly, meaning it in spite of the mess we’ve made.
“She was angry?”
“And hurt. She asked point-blank if I fucked you on her birthday,” I tell him with quiet misery. And it does make me miserable that she suspects and that it hurts her so badly.
“She was probably in bed with Charles that night,” Maverick says.
“Oh, undoubtedly. She’s in Paris with him now.”
“Wait, and she’s angry that we’re together? How does that make sense?”
“It doesn’t and yet it does. I’m a woman and on some level it makes perfect sense to me.”
“So what did she say about the show?”
“She needs to think about it, but I don’t hold out much hope that we’ll be able to work together. She seemed to agree that Chapel should still get a show, but it’s just my role that is in question.”
“We’ll figure it out.”
“I will,” I correct.
“Being in a relationship means helping each other, Hendrix. Are you saying you don’t want to help me when I need it?”
“Of course not. You know it’s not the same.”
“Because I have a lot more money? You’re gonna hold that against me?”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“When Soledad was going through all that shit with her ex, were you there for her? You said she had to rebuild her life from scratch.”
“She did.”
“And did you and Yasmen help her?”
My thoughts drift back to the times we helped Soledad prepare gift baskets she sold to earn money. To all the times I’d ferry her daughters to practices so Soledad could work an event. To the times I gave her money for her mortgage when she was on the verge of losing her house. I would do it all again. A hundred times and for as long as I had to.
“Of course I helped Sol,” I say. “She’s my girl.”
“And you’re mine.”
There’s a possessiveness in his tone that should make my feminist tendencies bristle, but it instead makes something inside me purr.
“You’d help me if I needed it, right?” he persists.
“However I could, yes.”
“I know you would because that’s the kind of person you are. Your big heart, that generosity, is one of my favorite things about you. You always extend it to everyone else. It’s time you let someone do that for you. Let me do that for you.”
“I’ve been doing me for a long time. I pride myself on my independence.”
“I don’t want to take that from you, but I also don’t want you worrying about people thinking you’re using me to get ahead. I’ve learned to block out the noise of other people’s opinions and live my life the way I want to. The way that makes me happy, and you make me happy, Hen.”
The words settle over my anxiety, my frustration, and I can’t suppress the smile that reaches my lips. “You make me happy, too.”
“Good, then block out the noise, and let’s just be us. Inside this relationship, we know why we’re here. Remember, let’s just be good to each other, okay?”
Be good to each other.
It sounds so simple, yet it feels like a new concept. That I would make myself vulnerable to someone this way, and trust that he has my best interest at heart and that he would trust that I feel the same.
“Okay,” I say after a few moments. “Let’s be good to each other.”